It was just another normal day at bayside high. The gang were in history class and the teacher was saying stuff about history. Zack and A. were sitting at the back and they were talking instead of listening. Zack was saying A.C. Slater should change his name to Alternative Current instead of Albert Clifford because it would be cooler and A.C. Slater wasn't sure. Jessie was annoyed with them because it was breaking her concentration, nobody else cared though. Even the teacher did not care because it was California and that's the way it is.
Anyway half way through the lesson there was a presentation and it was being done by screech. Everyone was looking forward to it because screech was a dork and they might laugh at him when he was done as he might say something stupid. They couldn't be prepared for what actually happened though it would become a landmark moment in the history of the school.
Screech had decided to have a beef burrito for breakfast that morning because he was feeling adventurous after reading a magazine about mountain hiking in Venezuela. Kevin the robot had said he shouldn't eat a beef burrito for breakfast but screech said 'you don't even eat so what do you know' and kevin shut up after that even though technically he did eat electricity.
But screech should have listened to kevin because his stomach was starting to give warning signals, making weird noises and stuff like that. Screech got up to talk and began saying stuff about Christopher Columbus the teacher was reading a textbook because she didn't care and was just going to fail screech for the clothes he was wearing, in California that's what really matters not knowing stuff about some dude who died thousands of years ago. Screech was wearing a horrendous multi-coloured shirt so it made sense I think.
But soon she would be failing him for a totally different reason. Screechs stomach started to flip over and he asked if he could be excused to use the toilet, the teacher was like 'no stay here and finish your report first OK'. Screech was like 'ohh nooo' and then, honest to god, he shit himself right there. At first everyone just thought he farted and they were laughing but then the rancid smell and the look on screechs face told them all the truth – he had just taken a huge dump in his underwear, so the laughter turned into disgust.
The teacher was like 'why didn't you say you needed the toilet' and screech said 'I did' and the teacher said 'yeah well I was going to fail you for your clothes but now I'm going to fail you for shitting your pants and ruining my class thanks a lot.' Screech looked sad and waddled outside because people were looking at him like he was the most disgusting creature ever to exist which was sort of true. The teacher said 'class dismissed' because the smell was so bad and they couldn't concentrate.
Well after that Zack and A. thought it was hilarious and they were laughing. But the girls were upset and sad because for some reason they considered screech a friend even though he was weird and creepy and smelt weird. Lisa said to Zack 'you and A.C. Slater should talk to screech because he will be really upset'. Zack was like 'he'll be fine don't worry about it'. But the next day screech wasn't at school and nobody could contact him.
'Please talk to screech' Kelly pleaded with Zack, and because he wanted to get in there with her he agreed. A.C. Slater also agreed to go because he wanted to see if screech was crying about what had happened, he thought he probably would be if he shit himself in front of the entire class and word had spread around the whole school so now everyone knew what had happened. It was the biggest shame ever.
So after school Zack and A.C. Slater went to screechs house and when they knocked on the door the robot kevin answered and said 'hi guys'. Zack said 'hey kevin is screech here?' and kevin said 'yeah but I don't think you want to see him'. Zack asked why and kevin said 'trust me'. A.C. Slater said 'come on man just let us in' and the robot kevin said 'ok fine'. So he let them in and they had a conversation with Hound Dog which lasted about 4 minutes even though Hound Dog did not understand them and did not speak English.
Then they went upstairs and found screech. He was on his bed in his room but the most disturbing thing was that he was wearing a big white diaper and nothing else. A.C. Slater was like 'what the fuck' and Zack said 'hey no swearing man' and A.C. Slater was like 'oh yeah sorry preppy'. Screech said 'what do you guys want?' and Zack said 'well we just came to see how you are because you weren't at school today'. Screech said 'well I shit myself so I can't come back nobody ever comes back from that' and A.C. Slater said 'that's true' but Zack gave A.C. Slater a dirty look and said 'no screech it will be OK.' Screech said 'no it won't my life is over'.
A.C. Slater saw that there were science pictures on screechs wall and started laughing and said 'what a nerd'. Zack and screech ignored him and Zack said 'look man just come back to school and stand up for yourself. So what if you shit yourself these things happen.' Screech smiled and said 'really?' and Zack said 'well yeah when you're like ninety and can't control your bowels anymore but maybe we can change that perception'. Screech asked what he meant and A.C. Slater also stopped laughing to listen.
Basically Zack's plan was that they would make an announcement in the school with everyone present, then all three of them would shit themselves at once to show that it is really no big deal and it can happen to anyone. Screech was happy and agreed to it, A. was like 'are you joking what the fuck?' and Zack winked at him which A. found a but weird but didn't say anything because it was weird enough anyway with screech wearing a diaper on a bed. He was also ashamed because he swore again but this time Zack didn't mention it which seemed inconsistent.
So the next day screech came into school and first thing that morning Zack and A.C. Slater gathered around all the students and Zack whispered to screech 'are you ready' and screech said 'yeah I think so' Zack nodded and said 'remember, when I say it can happen to anyone, we all drop the bomb' and A.C. Slater was like 'gross as hell'.
So Zack holds his hands up to silence everyone and says 'look everyone, its common knowledge now that screech shit his pants and disgraced himself in front of our class but we can't be too hard on him. I mean he has it hard enough with his hair and face and clothes and stuff, he doesn't need this too. Screech isn't saying he deserves forgiveness but at the same time we have to recognise this can happen to anyone…'
This was the moment. Screech scrunched his face up and pushed hard. He had eaten more Mexican food and a spicy curry for breakfast to make sure the drop would be smooth and it was really smooth it came out almost straight away with a loud squelch and farty noise. He had closed his eyes and when he opened them he saw the crowd staring at him in disbelief and disgust.
Screech turned around to look at Zack and A.C. Slater, they were both looking at him like 'WTF?' and it was clear they had not gone through with it. 'you sick freak' said A.C. Slater. Zack said 'we try to help you and get the entire school here for you to apologise and this is how you repay us? You just stand there and blast one out like that? You should be ashamed.'
Screech realised then that he had been misled and the worst thing was it now looked like whilst his friends had been trying to apologise for his behaviour he had purposefully done a shit in his pants right in front of everybody. People began saying how bad it smelt so screech waddled out of the school in tears. Zack and A.C Slater laughed and gave each other high fives.
Kelly, Lisa and Jessie came over they were aghast at what happened and were like 'what did you guys do that for now his life is ruined forever?' and Zack was like 'no trust me he will be OK. He needed tough love and to face his fears. Now he has shit himself in front of the whole school it can't get any worse so he might as well forget his worries and enjoy the rest of the year'.
'Yeah I guess that makes sense' Lisa agreed 'it's not like he was ever going to get a girlfriend anyway because he's so weird.' Kelly and Jessie could not deny that and so they all went to class because the hallway stank of excrement. As the hallways cleared Kenan out of Kenan and Kel was standing there and he looked annoyed. He was going to use the gathered of students for some kind of scheme but now that screechs bowels had emptied the hallway he was back to square one so he threw his hands up and yelled 'wwhhyyyy?!' then walked out of the school because he didn't even go there and it was a long way back to Chicago.