Title: Broken

Disclaimer: The X-men are not mine…

Review: Please!

Note: I'm Dutch so my grammar probably sucks…

Note 2: ****** = Change of time or place

…….=Telepathic speech

Italics = Thoughts

~……~ = Dreams

*……* = Emphasis

Note 3: No songfic for a change! You can read this as a sequel to Speak The Words Out Loud, but you can also read it as a stand-alone story. The first part is Logan's point of view, later in the story the point of view will change into Remy's.

(Note 4: I'm not sure where I'm going with 'Won't Cry'. So it might take a while before I'll post something for that story.)

#######

I can't keep losing sleep over this,
no, I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
and I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head
but underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back
to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...

Would you catch me if I fall
out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse
down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...

- Lifehouse, Somewhere In Between-

~ Logan lay on a surgery table. He tried to find out where he was, but when he opened his eyes he was blinded by a sharp light above his head. I know this…Oh God don't let it be true… He blinked a few times and when his eyes were finally adjusted to the light he took in his surroundings. He saw medical devices with tubes attached to his body. No…not again…No!! He tried to move away from it, tried to escape, but his hands were tied to the table. Panic took over, he screamed for help but nobody heard him. Suddenly his mouth was covered by an oxygen-mask. I don't want to, let me go! ~

He woke up and looked around breathing hard. After a few moments he let out a relieved sigh and shook his head. Just another nightmare, nothing to worry about. He rubbed some sore muscles in his neck and checked out his alarm-clock on the nightstand next to his bed. Shit, only 4 a.m., might as well try to get back to sleep. He lay down again and closed his eyes. But he couldn't get rid of the fearful images that remained from his nightmare, so after half an hour tossing and turning he decided that it was impossible to get back to sleep again. He turned on the light and put some clothes on. After he did that he walked quietly outside into the woods.

*******a few days later*******

'Goodmorning Logan.'

' Mornin' 'Ro.' Logan answered while he poured himself some coffee.

'You look tired have you slept well?'

'Oh I'm fine, I just went to bed a little late yesterday.' Yeah, right, Bub…well hopefully she goes for that.

'I see. So do you have any plans for today?'

' No, nothing special. Probably hanging around and irritate One-eye. How so?'

'Well, I was wondering if you would like to test the new Dangerroom scenario that Scott's made last week, with me?'

'Sure, darlin' how 'bout ten?'

'That will be excellent, Logan. Well if you will excuse me, I'll go change. See you at ten?'

'Yup, I'll be…' His sentence was cut off by a spunky teenager hanging around his neck.

'Wolvie!! You'll never guess what I'm going to do today!!

'Yeah, you too a goodmornin' Kiddo…can ya please stop yelling in my ear, I'm a mutant ya know!' Cripes…the kid's a danger!

'Oh sorry, I forgot.' she said before she went on at the same volume she had started.

'Gumbo is going to teach me how to pick locks! Isn't that cool!'

'Oh that's great…'

' Jeez.., very enthusiastic are we? No; I'm going to kill that Cajun! Or; What ?!?!?

'OK, I'm going to kill that Cajun…that's okay?' He snapped.

He brushed her off him and stomped out of the kitchen with his coffee. Jubilee looked at Storm who had stopped halfway across the kitchen and had watched the scene with wonder.

' What's wrong with him?'

'Well I was wondering the same, my dear child.'

'Oh, it's probably one of his 'cheery' moods.' Jubilee said with her usual sarcasm. 'Nevermind…see ya around, Stormy!' And she bounced out of the kitchen.

Whatever it was, he wasn't having it for ten minutes ago… With that thought Ororo went upstairs to get dressed for the Dangerroom session.

*********

Logan walked to the garden. On his way he ran into Scott, who was definitely the last person he wanted to see right now. Logan bumping into him surprised Scott, who was reading the headlines of the newspaper, he had just picked up by the door.

'He Logan, watch were you're going ok? There are more people around here!'

Logan growled and grabbed Scott by his neck and slammed him to the wall. 'Shut up One-eye!'

Scott, who didn't lose his calm demeanor, said: 'Let me go, Logan. Threatening people isn't the best way to get rid of your problems, you know. '

This only angered Logan more. 'I said shut up!' Why the hell am I angry with him? It wasn't his fault I bumped into him…

Realization hit him and he let go off Cyclops. After that he walked outside before Scott could say anything. He muttered a confused 'Thanks' and continued reading his newspaper.

********

In the garden Logan took the time to think things over. First Jubes and then Scott…. What's wrong with me? There wasn't any reason to be that angry… Better watch yourself Logan, can't take any risks with that many people around.

********

~Pain!!!! No I don't want to! Please let me go! Don't!!! Needles!! Tubes!! NO!!!! Why??No!~

********

Logan woke up sweaty and trembling. The claws of his left hand were stuck in the wall next to the bed, the others had torn his sheets. He let go a shaky breath and went to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and while waiting for the right temperature of the water, he looked in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes. Great…just looking freakin' great, Bub…Hopefully healing factor takes care of that. After it has dealt with the insomnia of the last couple of weeks, of course…

After the refreshing shower he noticed it was only three in the morning. Knowing he couldn't go back to sleep anyway, he decided for a walk through the mansion.

*******

When he walked past the professor's office he noticed light beneath the door. Hmm, Chuck probably lost track of time…

Logan can you please come in? The professors mind-voice said in his head.

Logan, startled by the sudden interruption of his thoughts, opened the door and entered the room.

'Please sit down Logan.'

' He Chuck what are ya doing up this late?'

'I woke up by your mental distress a while ago, I wanted to be sure you're alright.'

'Woke up? But how? Normally ya don't wake up when I'm having a nightmare.'

'Normally? Logan, are you telling me that you have these nightmares more often?'

'Yeah…well not as bad as this time… but how could I wake you?

'I'm not sure, but if it was worse than the other times I suspect that was the reason. Logan why didn't you tell anything? How long is this been going on?'

'I don't know, I kinda forgot. It's been going on for some weeks now…'

Charles Xavier knew that his most stubborn student wasn't telling everything, but he respected him and didn't push him to tell more than he wanted to.

'Alright, I understand it. But I want to know how you're doing, if it gets worse you'll come to me immediately. Understand?'

'Yeah…I will… '

Xavier nodded 'Just know that I only want to help, Logan.'

'I know. Thanks. See ya, Chuck.'

'Bye, Logan.'

And with that Logan left the room.

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I'd love to know what you think about it so far!