Dark's Pet Walking Business

By Anime2000

Disclaimer: See last chapter. If necessary, see the chapter before.

Yami grumbled to himself as he found himself trudging around in the Shadow Realm, looking for Dark Magician's home. He knew he promised Yugi he'd check on them, but he didn't think that he'd have to go when his favorite show was on!

"Yami, if you love Dueling Tips For Beginners so much, then I'll tape it down for you! Though, I can't understand why you would even watch... it........." Yami didn't reply.

Now he was in the Dark Magician's neighborhood. Or......... at least, that's where he thought he was. He looked around. Since when did this place become a petting zoo? A Kuriboh flew out from behind him and hit him on the back of his head. "Ow."

A few minutes before that in a nearby place.........

"You plan to give up anytime soon?"

"In your dreams, Dark!"

Despite the taunts they were yelling at each other, they were getting tired. Their hands were getting sore.

"Okay, rock, paper, scissors!"

"Another draw," sighed Dark as both landed on rock. "Can we just forget about it? I mean, we're two, super powerful, and super cool mages. Let's call a truce... for a little while at least."

"'A truce'?" Chaos asked skeptically.

"Great! Now that you agreed, there are certain rules you must abide by," Dark said holding up three fingers. "Number one: You will refer to me as the Dark Magician."

"Nnnno," said Chaos, raising an eyebrow.

"Number two: we join our businesses together."

"That might work," said Chaos thoughtfully.

"Number three—"

"Oh great," the higher leveled magician said sarcastically.

"Stay away from my sister!"

Chaos blinked. "Huh? What's that got to do with anything?"

"At least a yard away," Dark said firmly and folded his arms across his chest.

"That's so stupid—"

"Dark! Yami needs you!"

"DMG, what—Yami? As in a Duel?" asked her brother.

"No, he's being attack by a rabid Kuriboh," DMG reported, twirling her wand casually.

"I... see..." He pulled DMG closer to him. "Are you making this up?"

"Nope! Come on! I'll take you there!"

Meanwhile...

"Kuriboh..." started Yami, slowly backing away from Kuriboh. He stopped when a tree got in his way. "Remember me? It's Yami!" The little beast didn't seem to hear him. It leapt at him. "I guess not..."

"Dark Magic Attack!" Yami shielded his eyes with his arms from the violet light. When he lowered them, he saw his magicians in front of him. DMG held Kuriboh and was cooing apologies to it. Dark and Chaos were now in a heated argument.

"But I wanted to attack!" complained Chaos.

"Well, too bad. Besides, your attack is way to explosive," Dark replied calmly.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Uh, guys?" asked Yami hesitantly. "What's going on?" He looked around at the mess around them. Mystic and Celtic were running away from Skull and Graceful Dice. Random flocks of Fiends and Winged Beasts flew by once in a while. Silver Fang howled from Ms. Hart's roof. Harpy's Pet Dragon somehow got stuck in the branches above Yami.

"No clue," said Dark. "The monsters have become impossibly feral lately. Think it has something to do with Pet Walker?"

DMG looked around nervously. The usually docile Duel Monsters had that weird glint in their eyes. Like Dark had before. They were staring at them. "Ah... Dark?"

"Not now, DMG," said Dark. "I'm thinking. If it has something to do with Pet Walker, then how are we supposed to get rid of it?"

Chaos poked him with his staff. "Dark, this is a lousy time to be thinking." Then he added, "when we should be attacking and defending."

Dark looked up. "Um..." The flock came back. This time, they dove at them. "I got an idea! Follow me!" He grabbed Yami by the back of his shirt and jumped up. He landed on a Red Skull Bird, but leapt away before it could react, and he landed on some other unsuspecting monster. He repeated that process and was soon out of harm's way. DMG and Chaos looked at each other doubtfully and shrugged but followed his example and made it safely out of the horde.

"Now what?" snapped Chaos as the monsters realized what had happened.

Dark spotted Mystic and Celtic running towards them. "Hey! Celtic, Mystic!" he yelled at them. "You take our Duelist and... run that way." He pointed to a random direction that looked remotely safe. Yami was blinking rapidly, obviously freaked out and confused. "And we'll... run this way." He grabbed DMG and started to run in that random direction he had pointed to. Chaos, not wanting to be left out, ran after them.

Mystic set up a barrier. Most of the monsters had less than 2000 attack points, so the two elves and one ex-pharaoh got away. "Do you have any idea what we're gonna do?" Celtic asked. Mystic shook her head.

Meanwhile...

"Do you have any idea what we're gonna do?" Chaos yelled at Dark as they ran down an alley.

"Yeah," panted Dark. "We get Pet Walker out of Yugi's deck." He sighed. "Looks like I'm gonna have to retire earlier than I had hoped."

"And... and how?" asked DMG who was struggling to keep up with Dark. He still had a firm hold on her arm.

"Uh... I'm not there yet!" Dark admitted guiltily. "Maybe we should—"

"You mean you're making this up as we go along?!" demanded Chaos who was right next to him. "You idiot!"

"That's Dark Magician to you!" he snapped and stopped. DMG crashed into him. Chaos stopped a few feet in front of him. "Does anyone have a De-Spell key on them?"

"Grandpa's the only guy who has one!" DMG said, breathing deeply. "But it'll be a miracle if we can even make it home!"

Beady red eyes opened around them. "It'll be a miracle if we live through this," remarked Chaos.

What's Yugi doing...?

Yugi sighed as he sat at his desk. He didn't want to give up his new card, but he couldn't let this keep on happening. He searched through his deck and found Pet Walker. Remembering what had happened, he sighed and stood up. He'd do the right thing.

In the Shadow Realm...

A Feral Imp shrieked its battle cry as it leapt up at DMG. She sent it flying back with a 'Dark Burning Attack'. 'I... can't keep this up much longer!' she thought, starting to panic. Dark and Chaos were running out of magic too. 'There's way too many!'

"They aren't giving up!" growled Chaos, whacking a Flying Kamakiri #2 out of the air. He stabbed his staff into the ground and murmured an arcane spell. The ground trembled and cracked. Huge waves of dark magic shot up from the fissures. Monsters fell to the ground by the dozen.

Dark and DMG stared in awe. "You did it!" she cried, clapping her hands happily.

"Yeah, but here's the reinforcements..." Dark said eying the sky warily as more monsters flew towards them. "Uh... Chaos?"

Chaos let out a groan of disappointment. "Forget it. I'm drained." As if to prove his point, he pulled his staff out and waved it in front of them. "No magic. Completely dead. Anyone wanna lend me some?"

Dark shook his head, signaling that he was out too. DMG frowned when they looked at her. "Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to gain power from you guys! Unless you two want to go visit the Graveyard, I'm magicless!"

Kicking a Zombie Tiger away from him, Chaos snarled, "Well, we're surrounded. But I'm not going down without a fight."

Dramatic music plays... Or not...

A Crab Turtle eyed the three hungrily. Mystic, Celtic, and Yami, that is. The elfin Warrior stared at the two for ideas, but none of them had any. "Hey, Yami, can you do anything?"

"Like what?" snapped Yami. "Mind Crush it? Send it to the Shadow Realm? Summon a stronger monster? The thing is, it probably doesn't have a sane mind to begin with. We're already in the Shadow Realm. Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl, and the Magician of Black Chaos are probably busy, and I left my freakin' deck at home!"

Mystic was still trying to be optimistic. "Hey, we can still find someone who's got more than 2550 attack points, right?" A dragon roared behind them. "Ahhh... We can still find Buster Blader, right?" she asked, turning around slowly to see the Blue Eyes White Dragon.

Until she realized that it was the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon. "Or a God monster...right?"

Celtic was silently screaming at his legs to move, but they seemed to be glued to the ground. He noticed that Mystic looked helpless too. "Run!" yelled Yami, grabbing the two elves and dragging them away from the two beasts just in time to avoid an attack. Mystic was the first to snap to her senses—other than Yami.

"What if we set them up against one each other to let them kill themselves?" she gasped, pulling away from Yami. Celtic gave her a desperate look, but she paid no attention. "Hey, Blue Eyes!" she screamed at the dragon. "You're hungry, aren't you? Even if you do catch us, notice that Yami and I are practically skin and bones! Celtic's the only one that you wanna eat!"

"Gee, thanks," Celtic and Yami said in the same tone but for completely different reasons.

"So why do you have to share with that turtle?!" Blue Eyes considered her question for a little while and stared at Crab Turtle. It growled. The Aqua monster snarled back. Mystic took that time to usher Yami and Celtic away in a nearby alley.

There they found...

"Tch, why do they keep coming at us?" demanded DMG as a new swarm of low-leveled monsters appeared. She let out a surprised shriek as a Killer Needle attacked her from behind.

"DMG!" cried Dark, rushing towards her.

"Hya!" Celtic sliced through the Insect with his sword that he just remembered he was carrying. DMG's eyes widened even more when she saw who her rescuer was. "I saved you!" Celtic grinned. "See, I'm not only useful for sacrificing!"

"If your ego gets any bigger, it'll rival Kaiba's," Mystic and Yami said with her.

Celtic crossed his arms. "Am I not appreciated?"

"Yeah, real appreciated," Dark said, walking towards him. "Now go kill those monsters over there." He pointed at a random monster-infected place.

Roar. Everyone looked up to see the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon. "So... WHO LURED THAT THING HERE?!" Chaos said the first word casually, so no one expected him to scream the rest of the sentence. Everyone winced as they covered their ears. Jets of lightning poured out of all three of the Blue Eyes' massive sets of jaws. "Ra, we're dead."

A brilliant flash of white light illuminated the entire area, blinding everybody.

DMG apprehensively opened her eyes. She looked around. Dark looked at her incredulously. Yami sighed in relief. Mystic and Celtic had identical dazed expressions on their faces. Chaos scratched his head in confusion. All the monsters had stopped their attacks. Many were flying away. The Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon had reverted back to the original three Blue Eyes White Dragons.

Later... In the other realm...

Yugi wasn't in his room. Yami didn't have time to think about that as he collapsed on Yugi's bed from sheer exhaustion. He had no idea what had happened. All he knew was that he was still alive, in a way, and that everything was back to normal in the Shadow Realm. His said goodbye to his monsters and (jokingly) assured them that he wouldn't be back for a while.

"Yami." He heard Yugi's voice. "Back so soon?"

Yami sighed and sat up. "Yeah, but you have no idea what happened to me."

Yugi shrugged, "But I'm guessing you'll tell me anyways, right?" Yami nodded. "Well, before that, I wanna show you my new card!"

He looked at his light curiously. "You mean...?"

"Uh huh!" Yugi said, happily presenting the spell card to him. "I traded Pet Walker for this card! Grandpa says that he doesn't mind because it was my card anyways."

Yami's eye twitched when he saw the card. 'Toon Day Care—Equip this card to any monster in the picture, and increase its attack points by 1000 for three turns.' The illustration showed a Dark Magician with a cheesy grin on his face. Surrounding him were several comical Toon monsters.

"Yugi," he said, slowly. "Give that card to me."

"No!" said Yugi firmly.

"Give it!" Yami sprang from the bed to tackle him to the ground.

Yugi stepped aside and watched his other self crash into the floor. With a smile similar to the Dark Magician's in the card, he ran out of the room. Yami chased after him, screaming, "Don't put it in your deck!!"

END

And now, a word from the Shadow Realm...

Mystic smiles sweetly at you as she says, "We are here to say..."

DMG appears and grins. "That no monster was hurt in the making of this fic!"

Dark and Chaos materializes. Dark nods and then adds on, "Until now!" With that, he gives Chaos a hard whack with his staff.

"Ow! What was that for?!"Chaos whines, rubbing his arm where the staff had made contact.

"At least a yard away," Dark reminds him, motioning for him to back away.

The actual END

(laughs) Yup, that's it, everyone! I'd like to add a special thanks to all of you reviewers who have inspired me to keep on writing! This is the longest and last chapter in the fic, and I hope you enjoyed it! If this get a lot of nice reviews, I might consider writing the sequel, 'Dark's Day Care Center'.