"Laaaaaaadies and Gentlemen! Boy and girls! Children of all ages! Welcome to the final round of the inaugural match of RWBY and JNPR's Cards Against Remnant! It's been an exciting night. We've seen laughter, tears and indescribable rage! We've even had tons of fan service! And it all comes down to this. This round is the one that will decided which of the horrible people we've gathered here is the most offensive, the most mentally disturbed, and most importantly, the funniest! Now are you ready to rumble?"
"Alright then! Let's get this party started!" Ruby hoped down from where she had been standing on the table. "Yang, you done reshuffling the cards?" The group had decided to reshuffle the previously used cards back into the deck since they were running out. Yang nodded and set the refilled deck down so people could refill their hands. "Okay then, start us off." Ruby said, before sitting down.
Yang flipped over the first black card of the round with suitable flourish. "All right guys, what's that sound? Oh, and don't hand over your cards. You'll be making the sound effects yourselves." The others all groaned at that and began searching for a card while trying to figure out how much they were willing to embarrass themselves in order to win. When everyone had a card in front of them Yang pointed at Weiss. "You're up first Princess."
Weiss rolled her eyes but did as she was told, flipping over her card to show that it said "Free ice cream, yo." Weiss then began singing the ice cream truck song. "Doo da doo doo doo la doo da doo loo doo loo loo."
"Now I want ice cream…" Ruby pouted.
"That's a great idea actually!" Yang said excitedly. "Winner of the game gets all the ice cream they can eat next time we head into Vale and everyone else has to pay for it."
"No." Weiss said instantly.
"YES!" Everybody else cheered.
"Fine." Weiss relented.
"Sweet." Yang nodded at her little sister. "Your turn Rubes."
Ruby showed everyone her card to everyone, which said "Demonic Possession." Then she coughed, clearing her throat before unleashing an utterly inhuman roar. "▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!"
Everyone else flinched back, stunned. When she recovered, Yang spoke up. "Um, Ruby?"
"Please never do that again."
"All right then." Yang said as everyone else sighed in relief. "Ren? You're up."
Ren flipped his card over and then simply knocked on the table as slowly and ominously as possible. His card read "Child Protective Services."
Yang giggled and pointed at Pyrrha. "You're turn, Cereal Box."
Pyrrha revealed her card, which said "Flying Robots that Kill People", and cleared her throat. When she spoke she managed to do a decent robotic voice. "EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!"
As the others laughed, Yang nodded. "Yep, that sounds about right. Nora? What do you have?"
"What do I have?" Nora asked excitedly. "I'm glad you asked my friend! I have 'Pretending to be Happy' as my card! Doesn't that sound swell! I think it sounds absolutely wonderful! This is my demonstration of what it sounds like, by the way!" She sounded the same as normal. The others weren't sure what to make of that.
Well, except Ren. "Did you really just say swell?" Nora just stuck her tongue out at him.
Deciding to figure out exactly how real Nora's bubbly personality actually was later, Yang nodded at Jaune. "You're up Vomit Boy."
Jaune's card read "Lisa Lavender's Vagina" and he demonstrated the absolutely lewdest, loudest and longest series of slurping and sucking noises any other teenagers had ever heard. That sat enraptured, listening awestruck as Jaune made poetry out of mere wet noises. He went at it for minutes and when he finally finished he capped it all off by sticking his tongue out and making a little "pbth" sound. The others lost it, falling over themselves with laughter.
"Okay," Yang said when she finally caught her breath, "it's going to be hard to top that but go ahead and give it a try Blake."
Blake nodded and flipped her card over. It read "The Euphoric Rush of Strangling a Drifter." Blake coughed politely and then began to moan sexually. "Ah, Ah, Ahhh! Yes! Yes, just like that! Oh! Oh, yes! Yeesssssssssssssssssss-"
"BLAKE WHAT THE FUCK!" Weiss screamed.
"That is not the sounds you make when you strangle a drifter!"
"It said "The Euphoric Rush!" I was sounding euphoric." Blake said defensively.
Weiss groaned and faceplamed. "Euphoric doesn't necessarily mean sexual."
"It doesn't?" Blake, Yang and oddly enough Pyrrha all asked in surprise. Weiss groaned again and the others laughed at her pain.
"All right," Yang said, getting everyone's attention, "I think we can safely say that Jaune won that one. Here ya go!" Yang tossed the black card to Jaune who caught it and added it to his pile.
Weiss was next in line to be Card Czar so she picked up a black card and read it out to the others. "Every step towards blank gets me a little bit closer to blank." Multiple groans could be heard around the table as several of the teens realized that their cards simply weren't a good fit. Still, they tried their best and soon each of them had a set of two cards in front of them.
"Yang, start us off, won't you?" Weiss asked politely.
"Alllllllrighty!" Yang showed the others her cards. "Every step towards Mom's new boyfriend gets me a little bit closer to butt stuff."
Blake raised and eyebrow. "So wait, you're planning on seducing Raven's new significant other if she has one when you catch up with her? That's… certainly one of the more interesting revenge plans I've ever heard."
Ren snorted. "It sounds like something out of a Mistralian porn comic."
"Well, I think it sounds like fun." Ruby said. She looked up at her sister with puppy eyes and an innocent smile. "Can I help?" Yang immediately choked and started coughing for a minute straight, causing Ruby to fist pump in victory.
Weiss rolled her eyes. "If you're done traumatizing your sister, do you think you could read your cards Ruby?"
"Aw, do I have to?" Ruby pouted. "Mine suck. Whatever. Every step towards these low, low prices gets me a little bit closer to a Hungry-Hunter dinner for one."
Looking a little green at the gills, Weiss shook her head. "You don't want to get closer to one of those. Quite the opposite. Anyway, Ren?"
Ren flipped his cards. "Ever step towards my sex dungeon is one step closer to the warm, demanding chasm of her mouth."
Leaning over, Nora pointed out something on Ren's cards. "Uh, Ren? This says his mouth, not her mouth."
Ren facepalmed. "I know what it says Nora."
Smiling at Nora's antics, Weiss then nodded at Pyrrha. "Your turn."
"Every step towards a lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint gets you a little closer to ebola." Pyrrha read out, face red.
Weiss made a face. "And that's disgusting. Nora? Is yours any better?"
"You betcha!" Nora flipped her cards with a grin. "Every step towards buying the right pants to be cool gets me a little bit closer to a crazy little thing called love!"
"I'm not sure that's actually how it works Nora." Jaune said.
"Well maybe, but it'll certainly help." Yang countered.
"But I don't wear pants…" Ruby muttered to herself.
"Moving on." Weiss interrupted them before they could get too far along the derail. "Jaune, it's your turn."
Jaune flipped his cards with embarrassment. "Every step closer to unquestioning obedience gets me a little bit closer to two hundred years of slavery."
"Oh ho, getting ambitious there, Jauney-boy?" Yang chuckled at him. "You want some nice slave girls in skimpy outfits obeying your every command."
"Bwah… Uh, that is, I, um-" Jaune began to stutter.
"Wait, I thought he was the one being enslaved." Blake said.
"Well, Jaune, which one is it?" Weiss demanded.
"Look, I don't know!" Jaune shouted in protest. "It's whatever you want. They were the only two cards in my hand that went together."
Weiss smirked. "Whatever I want huh? We'll see about that. Anyway, it's Blake's turn."
Blake flipped her cards over and sighed. She read them out with resignation. "Every step towards seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes gets me a little bit closer to my hot cousin."
The others just stared at her. Finally Ruby spoke up. "…What?"
"Hey, don't look at me like that!" Blake shouted. "Nothing in my hand went together!"
"Actually, that does make a certain amount of very twisted sense." Ren pointed out.
"I don't want to know what sort of messed up frame of mind you have to be in for that to make sense." Weiss said, shivering a little at the thought of it. "Yang wins."
"Wooo!" Yang cheered and snatched up the black card from the table.
Since it was Ruby's turn to be Card Czar next, she picked up a black card and read it out while the others refilled their hands. "Okay guys: A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without blank. Let's go!" A pile of thin plastic quickly appeared before Ruby. "Alright! A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without the violation of our most basic human rights."
"I hear that's a popular menu item in Atlas." Blake snarked.
Pyrrha raised an eyebrow and turned to Weiss. "Are you just going to let that slide?"
Weiss just shrugged. "I don't know about romantic dinners but I'm fairly certain that family dinners in my house qualify as cruel and unusual punishment." Ruby immediately rushed to Weiss' side and gave her a hug, causing Weiss to roll her eyes. "It was a joke you dolt." She chastised fondly.
"Oh… I'll just, um, I'll just get back to…" Ruby mumbled as she let go of Weiss.
"Did I tell you to stop?" Weiss asked, shocking Ruby. Surprising Ruby even further, Weiss grabbed her and sat her down in her lap. "Just for that, you're going to read the rest of the cards right here."
Ruby blushed and squirmed and tried to get free but Weiss' cool arms held fast. After some superficial struggles, Ruby decided that sitting in Weiss' lap wasn't so bad. Reaching for the cards she hadn't read yet, she found Yang passing them to her with a knowing smirk on her face. Ruby promptly ignored her sister and flipped over the next card. "Next! A romantic dinner wouldn't be complete without a salty surprise."
"The secret ingredient is semen!" Nora yelled out.
"I have not and never will bake my semen into my pancakes." Ren immediately said, before anyone could even look at him weird. Then, just as everyone was moving on he spoke up again. "Unless someone asks me too."
Ruby decided that the reason Nora was licking her lips had nothing to do with the current conversation and she was just thinking about apples. Nice, clean, safe for work apples. Yeah. "Next! A romantic dinner would be incomplete without-"
"I'll note that Ren didn't say anything about those energy smoothies he keeps trying to get people to drink." Blake interrupted Ruby with a smirk.
Ren opened his mouth to respond but Ruby was faster. "Oi! Card Czar talking here! Don't interrupt!"
Blake's ears flattened against her head. "Sorry."
"Better." Ruby said with a nod before continuing to read the card in her hand. "A romantic dinner would be incomplete without Blood Farts."
"Does Vacuan take out really count as romantic?" Jaune asked.
"Nope! Next!" Ruby turned the next card over. "A romantic dinner would be incomplete without eating an entire snowman."
"I don't think you can fit an entire snowman inside two people." Pyrrha looked doubtful. Then she raised a finger. "That doesn't mean you get to try Nora." Nora's look of excitement disappeared as she deflated into her seat.
"So the solution is either get a smaller snowman or bring more people." Yang pointed out.
"You'd bring an entre crowd of people to a romantic dinner?" Weiss asked, eyebrow raised.
Yang shrugged. "Polyamory is a thing."
"Oh. Right." Weiss put on a curious expression. "I've always wondered how that was supposed to work."
Nora gasped in shock. "Wait! You mean the four of you aren't in a four-way relationship?"
"What was that?"
"I said no."
Ren rolled his eyes. "And the betting pool goes on."
"Next!" Ruby cheered as she turned over the next card. " No romantic dinner would be complete without stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun."
"Not sure how romantic that one is." Nora looked thoughtful." Well, I suppose you could have one person hold the kid down while the other does the stuffing but then you have a young boy or girl stuck between two adults struggling and screaming as one of the adults stuffs his mouth with sticky wet stuff."
"Yeaaaaaaaaah, I'm gonna say no to that one." Ruby shuddered a bit in revulsion. "Next! A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without an unstoppable wave of fire ants."
Pyrrha make a face of distaste. "Regular ants ruin picnics. I don't see how fire ants would aid romantic dinners."
"Oh! What if the ants are the dinner?" Nora asked.
"Next!" Ruby flipped the last card over. "No romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without vegetarian options. I think we have our winner."
Ren raised his hand. "That was mine. Are you sure you want to go for it though? It's sort of boring."
"Yeah but did you hear the other options?" Ruby shivered a little at the thought of them. "Besides, vegetarian options might not seems special but it's important damn it."
Now that the round was over, Weiss let Ruby get off of her lab and go back to her seat. Everyone refilled their hands and Ren read out the next black card. "Sonnofabitch. Alright… How did I lose my virginity?" The others burst into laughter and started picking out their cards.
Soon enough Ren was slumped in his seat, staring at the pile of cards in front of him. "I suppose it's to late for me to say that you'll read your own cards?"
"Yep." Jaune answered, patting Ren comfortingly on the back while grinning like a shark.
Ren sighed and picked up the first card. "Fine. According to this I lost my virginity at an unforgettable quinceanera."
"See, that wasn't that bad right?" Nora said.
"It's going to get worse. It always gets worse." Ren predicted as he flipped over the next card with a groan. "I lost my virginity while tap dancing like there's no tomorrow."
"What, "while"?" Weiss said in surprise. "That's quite the feat."
Another card, another groan from Ren. "How'd I lose my virginity? A toxic family environment."
"Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! What?" Ruby demanded.
"Weren't you the one making a joke about having a threesome with your your half-sister a little bit ago?" Blake asked.
"Yeah but that's different. I actually love Yang so it's fine." There was a quiet and confused "Wait, what?" from Yang. "That" Ruby pointed at the card. "screams of child abuse and is just plain awful."
"Agreed." Ren nodded and picked the next card. "This one's better. I lost my virginity thanks to them dem titties."
"Yours or hers?" Blake snarked.
"Funny." Ren deadpanned right back, rolling his eyes. Then he picked up the next card and his eyes widened slightly. "I lost my virginity to the tiny, calloused hands of the faunus children that made this card."
Silence reigned over the room. The teens all looked at each other, waiting for the first person to laugh. Nobody did.
"Alright then, moving on." Ren read the next card and pinched the bridge of his nose. "First I'm gay. Then I'm a pedophile. Now I'm a gay pedophile. God damn it." Taking a deep breath to calm down, Ren showed the others the card. "I lost my virginity to the Boy Scouts of Atlas." Putting the card down, he suffered in silence as he waited for the laughter of his friends to die down.
When it did he flipped the last card over and actually smirked at it. "And finally, I lost my virginity to my machete."
"That sounds incredibly, awfully, insanely painful." Pyrrha noted and the others agreed.
"Yes, I'd much prefer something soft and bouncy. Who had dem titties?" Ren declared and Pyrrha blushed, indicating that the card was hers. Ren flipped the card to her while the others laughed at her embarrassment.
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up." Pyrrha grumble as she picked up the next black card. "Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: blank."
Practically veterans of the game at this point, everyone quickly picked their cards for Pyrrha, who started reading them as soon as she got everybody's. "Okay then. Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in on thing: sports." There was a beat and then Pyrrha broke into this sort of snort-giggling. The others looked on in bemusement.
Eventually Pyrrha got herself under control and flipped over the next card. "I'm Sorry about that. Anyway, the other's only interested in khakis." Pyrrha ended up being the only one laughing at that random answer as well.
"Glad someone finds it funny at least." Blake said with a smirk.
After Pyrrha finished laughing and wiped the tears from her eyes she read out the next card. "The other's only interested in a magical tablet containing a world of unlimited pornography."
"Completely understandable." Jaune said with perfect seriousness.
"The other's only interested in what remains of my penis." Pyrrha looked at the card in her hand that made it clear she found it dubious. "Weird."
Ruby raised a finger. "Yeah, but imaging it being said in trailer-announcer-guy's voice."
That got a snort of laughter out of Yang. "Okay, yeah. Now it's funny."
"Hmh." Pyrrha sort of half-nodded and picked up the next card. "The other's only interested in the diminishing purity of the human kingdoms."
"So the question is whether the movie about the other cop learning to accept faunus people or whether it's a propaganda piece." Blake said and everyone nodded.
Pyrrha moved on to the next card. "The other's only interested in reading the entire End-User License Agreement."
"So By-The-Book and Even-More-By-The-Book. God that sounds like a boring film." Yang stuck her tongue out.
"And finally," Pyrrha said as she picked up the final card of her round, "The other's only interested in one thing: Lady Yaya."
"Again, completely understandable." Jaune said.
Pyrrha looked over her collected cards. "Hmm, it's between khakis and sports. I think I'll go with khakis."
"That would be me." Blake said, taking the black card from Pyrrha.
Nora, eager as always, was reading out the black card before Blake had finished talking. "What ended my last relationship? Awww, that's sad." She began to pout while the others played their cards. It took a while, Jaune struggled with his, but eventually Nora was reading out cards. "What ended my last relationship? Ominous background music."
"Dun, dun dun!" Ruby sang.
Jaune began to speak. "Yeah man, I don't know. She was really nice and she had a great rack but, ya know, something about her just seemed off. I think it was how every time we kissed, I heard a church organ making a minor cord in the background."
Most of the table laughed but Nora grinned like a cat with a canary and leaned in close to Jaune. "You really think I've got a great rack Jauney?" Jaune turned red and began stuttering so Nora leaned back and howled with laughter.
"Next card Nora." Ren reminded the ginger girl.
"Alright, alright." Nora waved Ren off and read the next card. "What ruined my last relationship? Trying to feel something, anything. Who do I look like, Ren?"
"Hey!" Ren raised his voice indignantly while the others laughed.
Nora patted his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Relax. I'm joking. You know I lo… Anyway, next card." Nora flipped the next card over as fast a possible, hoping the others hadn't noticed her slip up. They had. "What ruined my last relationship? Having been dead for a while."
"You hear that Ruby? Nora's dead and single." Weiss said with a smirk.
Ruby dropped her head onto the table with a bang. "That necrophilia thing is going to haunt me for the rest of my life, isn't it."
"Hmmm, good point." Jaune said, looking serious for a moment. "Okay people, nothing that happens here leaves this room. None of us need the wrong person overhearing an incest or necrophilia joke." The others all agreed quickly and the game continued.
"What ruined my last relationship?" Nora asked rhetorically. "Licking things to claim them as your own."
"Nora! Not in public!" Pyrrha shouted, getting a laugh out of the group.
"So I get to lick you later when we're alone?" Nora asked, causing Pyrrha's face to match her hair. Laughing at her own joke, Nora flipped over another card. "What ended my last relationship? Still being a virgin."
"That's depressing. Being dumped because you won't put out." Yang said with a frown.
"Yeah, that's kinda a dick move." Nora agreed. "And this one is basically the same thing," She said, holding up the second last card for the other's to see. "What ended my last relationship? Waiting 'till marriage."
"Again, dick move." Yang said, arms crossed.
While the others were nodding in agreement, Nora picked up the last card. "What ended my last relationship? Explosions. Well Good! If someone can handle a few little explosions, I don't want to be in a relationship with them anyway!"
"So who won, Nora?" Ruby asked.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Ominous background music I think." Nora decided and Pyrrha politely took the black card from her. "Your turn now Jauney!"
Jaune picked up the black card, cleared his throat and began speaking in a bad Vacuan accent. "But before I kill you, James Pond, I must show you blank."
"I love those films." Blake said with a dreamy sigh.
"Oh! Someone's got a celebrity crush." Yang said with a grin.
"I do not!" Blake denied heatedly. "I just find the spy stuff fascinating, that's all."
"Girls. Can we get on with the game please?" Jaune asked. Blake huffed and slid a card to him while Yang just smirked.
"Alright, is there anyone that still needs to give me their cards?" Jaune's question was met with a chorus or no's. "Alright then. Before I kill you, Mr. Pond, I must show you and endless stream of diarrhea."
"Worst. Death trap. Ever." Ruby said, looking faintly disgusted.
"Of all time." Added Weiss.
Jaune flipped another card over. "But first I must show you all the poop inside of my body."
"And it seems we have a theme for this question." Ren pointed out.
"But first I must show you peeing a little bit."
"We seriously can't have all played toilet humor, right?" Weiss asked, sounding desperate.
"But first I must show you socks."
"Oh thank god." Weiss said explosively. Meanwhile, Pyrrha laughed in the background.
"But first I must show you hope."
"Just so I can snatch it away from you. Muhahaha?" That was Nora.
"But first I must show you the unbelievable world of mushrooms."
Ruby clutched at her heart, acting afraid. "Please, not that! Anything but that! It's so boring!"
"And last but not least," Jaune turned over the last card he had. "I must show you a visually arresting turtleneck. And the winner is the unbelievable world of mushrooms. That sounds like the worst of the bunch."
"Wooo! I'm a winner!" Nora cheered and Jaune handed her the awesome point.
Ruby rapped on the table to get everybody's attention. "Okay, so this is the last opportunity to get a point. At this point, Pyrrha's in the lead and only Jaune and Yang have the opportunity to tie with her. But! That doesn't mean that you can just give up! Do you best and be as funny as you can, got it? Good! Blake, take it!"
Blake nodded at her leader and flipped over the last black card of the game. "In a world ravaged by blank, our only solace is blank."
"Oh great. Last turn and we can all tell who played what." Weiss complained. "Blake, you have to promise that you'll judge them on the content of the cards and not who played them, got it?"
Blake nodded. "Of course. After all, it's not like I can win now. Might as well give the title of "Most Horrible Person" to those that that deserve it, right?" Blake said with a smirk. Then she watched the others until they all had picked out two cards. Then she indicated that Yang should start them off.
Yang flipped her cards over with pride. "In a world ravaged by flesh-eating bacteria, out only solace is a time-travel paradox."
Blake hummed, impressed. "Nicely done Yang. That sounds like a pretty awesome summer blockbuster. Weiss?"
Weiss smirked confidently as she revealed her cards. "In a world ravaged by world peace, out only solace is Nicolas Rage."
Blake nodded. "Ok, that'd be a good action-comedy. Ruby? What do you have?"
Ruby winced a little. "Sorry, nothing I had really went together. Anyway, in a world ravaged by the transience of all things, our only solace is bitches."
Weiss adopted a thoughtful face. "Well, it sort of makes sense. It's basically saying "Nothing matters, so we might as well go find some slu- I mean, some loose women and have sex with them."
"Hmm, not bad in that case, though personally I'd rather have an emotional attachment then… Anyway, Ren, it's your turn."
"In a world ravaged by crippling debt, our only solace is wet dreams." Ren intoned.
Blake blinked twice before she began giggling. "Okay, I can see that. Pyrrha? You're next."
"Alright." Pyrrha agreed and flipped her cards over. "In a world ravaged by a cloud of ash that darkness Remnant for a thousand years, our only solace is your weird brother."
"Again, that sounds like a decent summer blockbuster." Blake said.
"Or a bad porno." Yang said with a smirk.
Blake put a finger on her lip and next she spoke, her voice was low and seductive. "Oh no. It's so dark outside; we're just going to have to stay here. Just. The. Two of us. Whatever shall we do, Brother dear." Blake returned to normal with a laugh, unaware of how the others where stunned and blushing from her performance. "Okay, just to left. You're up Nora."
"Uhhhh, right!" Nora shouted, snapping to attention. "In a world ravaged by ennui, our only solace is my humps."
Jaune raised his hand. "Um, what does ennui mean?"
"It's another word for tedium. Basically, if your bored, Nora's ass will save you." Blake explained, to Nora's embarrassment. The hammer-wielder muttered something about how Blake was supposed to be the one reading it, making Blake smirk.
"Oh, got it!" Jaune nodded in agreement. "Anyway, in world ravaged by full frontal nudity, our only hope is whatever you wish, Mother." As soon as he finished talked, Jaune cried out in pain as a card hit him in the forehead. "What was that for?" He yelled at Weiss, who had flicked the card at him.
"I told you to stop talking about your family life!" Weiss shouted back.
Blake laughed at her friends' antics before calming down and deciding on her winner. "Those were all pretty good but I think the winner is definitively Nora and her boredom battling ass."
"Yay!" Nora replied.
"Annnnnnd we're done!" Ruby exclaimed, inciting cheers from the others. "Pyrrha, looks like you win! Congratulations, you're today's most awful person! You'll get your ice cream prize tomorrow."
"Yay?" Pyrrha said with confusion. Most awful person wasn't exactly a title to take pride in but it was all in good fun. Besides, she was getting ice cream so Pyrrha tallied that in the win column.
"So what now?" Jaune asked the all important question.
"Well," Ruby began but was cut off with a long yawn, causing the others to squee a little at her cuteness. "I was going to say we pack this up and head back to our rooms but I'm exhausted. Anybody else want to just sleep here?"
The others all agreed to the suggestion and they managed one last flurry of activity before their exhaustion caught up to them and forced them to sleep. Once they were finished, a giant nest of sheets, cushions and pillows took up the majority of the floor, and laying atop it the two teams slept together, a tangle of bodies and limbs.
In another part of the academy, an old man looked at the image the two teams on his glowing screen and smiled. Ozpin may have made many mistakes over his life but this certainly wasn't one of them.
Hey guys, what's up? I know it's been a very, very long time since the last update and for that I'm sorry. I won't go into details but there were actual problems I needed to deal with, the delay wasn't just caused by procrastination. Procrastination was an issue as well, but it wasn't the only one.
I don't know about you, but I'm so happy to finally get this done. Not that I haven't enjoyed writing it but I'm glad that it's over and I finally feel like I can move on to other projects. I know from all the lovely reviews you've left me that people really seem to have enjoyed this fic and I hope that the long delay hasn't killed any enjoyment for you.
While I might start another "Cards against" fic sometime in the future, I think I'll take a break from the concept for a while. However, if you want more, I'll be posting Learning To Sing on this site pretty soon. It's based on Worm, so if there are any fans of that here, I'm sure you'll enjoy it. If you're not a fan of Worm, try it out anyway. You might like it.
Also, if you can also head over to SufficientVelocity dot com if you want more of me. I run some quests (a form of roleplaying game) and I have a thread where I post 500 to 1000 word snippets five days a weak on that site. I can almost guarantee that you'll find at least something to enjoy.
Finally, and I'm a little hesitant about doing this after keeping you guys waiting so long, if you want to support my work and help me write full time I have a account that you can find at pat reon RexHeller (Just delete the spaces. For some reason Fanfiction . net has started to delete the name of a certain digital tip jar.) Even a donation of one dollar helps immensely.
And that's it from me. Thank you for reading this silly little mess. And if you're curious, here are the finally scores for all the players.