Naruto: Magik

Blanket disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the X-Men

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This is one of my older stories. It's a sex comedy that occasionally breaks the fourth wall and stars Uzumaki Naruto, Hyūga Hinata & Illyana Rasputin (Codename: Magik) of the New Mutants/X-men. She was one of the characters I liked back in the 90's when I collected comics and lost track after that (A word of warning: I really don't know modern X-Men lore). As a result it coincides with the old storyline Inferno in Marvel Comics. I'm tagging her as fourteen to fifteen years old at the time of this story which takes place towards the end of Naruto and Jiraiya's training trip, so Naruto is also close to fifteen. For the sake of references I'm using Narutopedia and the X-Men Wiki.

[ ] signifies a foreign language. In Illyana's case it would be Russian or English.

Chapter 1

The realm of Limbo

The invasion of Earth by the Demons from Limbo known as Inferno was over and the New Mutants found the shell of the armor their dear friend and comrade Illyana wore. Somehow through the strange time magics of Limbo she'd been returned to her innocent seven year old self. Gone was the demonic Darkchilde she had become…The team returned to the X-mansion both sad and happy for their friend. She was free of the taint placed upon her but at the same time she didn't remember any of them. They knew she would remember her brother Piotr Rasputin (Otherwise known as Colossus) though and took her to see him straightaway. She had a new start…or did she?

Elsewhere…

The nearly demonic Darkchilde spun wildly through the space time vortex of Limbo and finally crashed to the ground hitting it hard. Her hatred for her seven year old self had abated because of her friend's actions and she felt her sanity returning. Part of her wanted to return to the Xavier Institute to be with her friends but she felt she was now well and truly a monster. She couldn't bring herself face them. Even when her form changed back into the beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed girl everyone knew she shed tears of blood knowing they would remember the Darkchilde demon with horns, hooves and a tail she'd become. Her heart shattered, she opened a portal to nowhere to hide away and fell into a dreamless sleep…She didn't care where or when she went, Illyana Rasputin never intended to return…

…

Fire Country near the Border of River Country

Naruto Uzumaki was eager to get home. He missed Konoha and all his friends. Jiraiya dragged him out here to the Land of Rivers to investigate something to do with the Akatsuki and Naruto was sitting by himself at their camp while Jiraiya was off searching for clues.

Flashback…

"Why am I not coming with you Ero-sennin?! You told me I was plenty strong!" asked Naruto in an exasperated tone.

Jiraiya returned his apprentice's glare. "This isn't about strength Naruto; it's about subtlety which is something you just don't have! Just camp out here for a few days and wait for me to return. I trust you can stay out of trouble a few days?"

Seeing Jiraiya wasn't about to budge on this, Naruto sighed. "Alright, I'll camp out here while you go peek at bathhouses…"

Flashback End…

"Damn Ero-sennin and his perverse antics…God I'm bored!" ranted Naruto. It had been forty eight hours since Jiraiya took off and Naruto was already going stir crazy. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "I know! I'll summon Gamakichi. I've got some food to share here. Maybe he and I can do something." Doing the proper hand signs Naruto said, "Summoning jutsu!" and his orange toad friend appeared in all his 'glory'.

"Yo! Ahem! I mean, who dares summon the great Gamakichi of Mount Myōboku?" said Gamakichi who was large enough for Naruto to stand upon now.

Naruto sweat-dropped staring at his friend. "Ummm, 'Kichi, what was that all about?"

Gamakichi replied, "Hey Naruto! I'm taking a page from my old man's book. Did I strike awe and fear into you when I arrived?"

"No, I was kind of embarrassed for you 'Kichi." said Naruto as Gamakichi face-faulted.

Recovering what little pride he could salvage, Gamakichi asked, "So what's up? I don't see a fight or anything going on. Do you need me to deliver a message?"

"No, I was bored." answered Naruto flatly.

"You summoned me because you were bored…" said the toad in an equally flat tone.

"Pretty much. I've been stuck here all by myself for two days waiting for Ero-sennin to get back and I was hoping that we could figure out something to do together if you're not too busy…." Naruto said sheepishly.

The toad nodded, "Well, it has been a while since we just hung out." Suddenly the toad got a gleam in his eye. Actually, I know exactly what we should do!"

The blonde raised an eyebrow at his friend's tone. It was mischievous and conspiratorial, like a prank…Naruto nodded and said, "Go on…"

Gamakichi looked around to make sure they weren't being listened to. Then he whispered, "There's something on Mount Myōboku that I've wanted to check out since I was little but Ma and Pa told me not to. But since you are a summoner and don't know it's forbidden we could check it out even though I tried to stop you…get the picture?"

"So why is it forbidden?" asked the blonde.

Gamakichi shrugged. "Hell if I know. I get a weird vibe from this cave up there but since you are training to be a sensor maybe we could figure it out together."

"Sounds reckless and possibly dangerous 'Kichi." mused Naruto aloud.

The orange toad's eyes narrowed. "So are you in?" he asked conspiratorially. "I can reverse summon us there in a jiffy."

"Damn straight I am. All this sitting around is driving me crazy!" answered the ninja. "I'll pack my stuff and leave a concealed message for Ero-sennin."

…

Thirty minutes later at Mount Myōboku

The two intrepid adventures/bored teenagers were travelling through a thick patch of forest that Naruto hadn't seen before. Naruto was wishing he had a machete to hack his way through all the plant life. Looking ahead he saw a cave opening. "Is that where we're headed 'Kichi? I don't sense much."

"Trust me; you will feel it when we get there." assured Gamakichi.

Sure enough, as they entered the cave entrance Naruto could feel it too. He sat down in a meditative position and said, "I'm still new at this but it's deeper inside the cave. It feels like a space/time ninjutsu; like a summoning. What's weird is it's at a low level and constant like it's in the process but not quite there yet."

"What do you mean?" asked the toad.

"All I can say is it feels like someone was summoned and cracked open the door but it hasn't opened all the way." said Naruto thoughtfully.

Gamakichi frowned, "Why weren't they just sent back to their point of origin then? I've never heard of anyone ever being stuck mid-summoning."

"Beats me, Kichi." said Naruto with a shrug. "Come on, let's go look. If it looks dangerous we'll split."

So, the two brave souls/reckless idiots travelled onwards until they reached a massive underground cave full of stalactites and stalagmites. "It's a good thing there are some holes in the roof of the cave to let some light in. This place is awesome!" remarked Naruto excitedly as he admired the scenery.

"No kidding Naruto, the water in here reflects the sunlight all over so it's pretty easy to see." agreed Gamakichi.

Naruto sat down again to focus on his senses. It's straight that way Gamakichi." he said as he pointed towards a darkened area.

"It's conveniently located in the darkest corner of the cave where it's black as pitch Naruto." groaned the toad. "I can't see a goddamned thing over there."

"No worries." said the blonde. "I'll get us a light." Unsealing a lantern they went over towards the darker part of the cave. When they arrived they saw what looked like a statue embedded about four feet up in the stone cave wall. "It's a…girl?" questioned Naruto as he looked up.

"Last I checked human girls don't have horns, claws or tails Naruto." answered Gamakichi.

Naruto was more mesmerized by the incredible curves this statue had. He was amazed at how real the stone demon girl looked. Her hand was reaching out towards him. He wanted to reach out and touch her…Feeling the incredible tightness in his pants; Naruto went wide-eyed and regained control of himself. 'Good god, I'm acting like Ero-sennin! It's like she's some demon fantasy playmate in one of his damned books!' Looking down at his painfully bulging crotch, he thought, 'Down, earthly desires!'

"You okay there Naruto?" asked Gamakichi, totally oblivious to his friend's problems (he wasn't familiar with the way a mammal's wedding tackle worked after all).

"Yeah, I'm fine." answered Naruto, glad for the distraction. "I was just amazed at how realistic this statue looks. I mean, aside of the horns and all she would look like a beautiful girl. Why would anyone carve such a strange figure in the wall 'Kichi? I'm guessing it was made by a human but do humans even come up here? This is the home of the toads after all."

Gamakichi looked at the wall carving for a while. "You know, you're right. Even her strands of hair look real. Whoever carved this girl must have been an amazing artist. Is this where the energy is coming from?"

That snapped Naruto's brain back on track. "Let me check." he said as he sat down and concentrated. "It's the carving alright. It's specifically coming from the right hand that is reaching out towards us."

"Do you think it's a summoning gone bad?" asked Gamakichi in a worried tone. "I'd hate to leave some poor soul trapped in there. Of course, even if it is, I wouldn't know how to fix it."

Naruto stared at the beautiful demon girl for awhile. "We just add chakra to her outstretched hand. It should jump start the jutsu."

"What if she's some kind of monster?" said the toad in a frightened tone.

Naruto made up his mind. "Then we destroy her before she breaks loose. Stand back and get ready. I'll infuse some chakra into her hand."

Focusing, the young ninja stood on his tiptoes so he could press his palm against the outstretched hand and then pushed chakra into it. The wall carving started to glow suddenly and the surface heated up rapidly. Naruto had to let go to keep from getting his hand burned. He stared as the claws seemed to melt off of the hand revealing pale flesh below. As the features melted he saw the horns and other demonic traits melt away as well revealing a beautiful blonde girl in a strange torn up black and yellow uniform that fit her like as second skin.

Naruto quickly realized she was going to fall out of her perch in wall and rushed forward and caught her limp form before she could hit the floor. He noticed she was wet and clammy and wondered if she was even alive. Bringing her out into the light where he could actually see her he blushed as he took in her features. This girl was radiant! Naruto checked for a pulse and to see if she was breathing. When he found nothing her gently pumped her chest once to see if there was a reaction. Jiraiya taught him the basics of CPR in case he had to revive someone the nearly drowned or something.

He blushed as he placed his lips on her ice cold ones and tried to breathe air into her lungs. Naruto vaguely heard Gamakichi asking him what the hell he was doing but he tuned his friend out and repeated the process a few more times. He was about to breathe more air into her lungs when suddenly she started coughing and inhaled deeply as if she hadn't breathed in ages. Her eyes sprang open and seemed sightless. She started babbling and panicking in a language he didn't understand and finally Naruto grasped her hands in his in an attempt to comfort her….

Illyana was blind and felt cold stone beneath her. She heard muffled noises around her but couldn't make anything out. She was terror struck and tried to thrash about and scream for help but her own voice sounded weak and quiet. The girl barely had the energy to move. She felt herself freezing up in fear as she cried out and then suddenly she felt warm hands encircling her own. Someone was with her! She tried to talk to them but her own voice was muffled to her ears. Whoever was with her sounded male and was using soothing tones even though she couldn't make out a word.

Illyana tried to pull herself up and realized how incredibly weak and cold she was. She felt strong arms pull her up in an embrace and start to massage her arms to warm her up. Her panicked breathing and her racing heartbeat finally started to slow down. Whoever was helping her was still saying soothing things and she felt the warmth gradually return to her body. She thanked the person for helping her in her weak voice and felt the tingling numbness leaving her body as she was warming up. She was so incredibly tired…Illyana gradually lulled off to sleep in the person's arms….

"Naruto, what were you doing to her?" asked a certain frustrated toad.

"I'm really sorry for ignoring you 'Kichi but she wasn't breathing as if she'd drowned or something." explained Naruto. "I had to push air into her lungs by using my own air."

"Really? I thought it was some sort of mating thing from Jiraiya's descriptions." Gamakichi continued.

"I was trying to save her life; not make out with her!" said Naruto as he blushed crimson. "She's still ice cold and she fell back asleep. I need to warm her up. Should I make a fire?"

"There's nothing down here to make a fire with, bro. Let's just carry her out into the sunlight. That should warm her up fine." suggested Gamakichi.

Naruto face palmed at his own stupidity. "Let's get her out of here 'Kichi."

"Right." said the toad. "Do you know what she was saying? I didn't get a word of it."

"I think it was another language. We'll worry about that later." answered Naruto.

They quickly got out of the cave with Gamakichi leading the way. Then they found someone was waiting for them at the entrance…Ma and Pa.

"Gamakichi! We told you that place was forbidden! What have you done?!" asked Ma angrily.

Gamakichi shivered. "It was Naruto's idea! I tried to stop him but-"

Ma narrowed her eyes. "And just how did this Naruto know about this place to begin with? You boys are both in big trouble."

Naruto blurted out, "Ma'am, please punish us later! I have an injured girl here that's half froze to death! Please help her."

Pa looked at the girl carefully. "Lay her down gently. Ma and I will reverse summon ourselves back home with the girl. You two can walk there and report to us for your punishment then."

"Thank you both very much." said Naruto bowing gratefully. Both sages nodded and they disappeared in a puff of smoke. "I guess we'd better go there for our punishment." said Naruto as he began the trek back.

"We could always hide you know." said Gamakichi hopefully.

Naruto shook his head. "I want to be there when the girl wakes up. I need to be there to make sure she's alright."

"Okay, bro. I'm with you…" The two set off to catch up with Ma and Pa.

…

At Fukasaku and Shima's home

"So that's Jiraiya-chan's apprentice he brags about." said Shima as she gently adjusted Illyana on the bed and applied sage chakra to gently warm and heal the girl slowly so her body wouldn't go into shock. "It seems Gamakichi-chan got him into mischief."

Fukasaku nodded gently as he helped Shima with Illyana. "He's Minato-chan's tadpole; looks just like him." He let out a sigh. "Is this really the demon in the cave wall Shima? She seems like a normal human child without horns or claws or a tail. This seems very strange to me."

"It is Pa. I can sense the taint in her but that doesn't mean she's inherently evil." replied Shima. "Those containing tailed beasts are often treated as demons themselves you know. Maybe she has something sealed in her. It wouldn't be right to destroy her without knowing the truth. Her true nature will become evident soon enough."

"Her body is up to a normal temperature I see. She seems to be resting peacefully now." said Pa. "When we discovered her in the cave wall and banned the area all those centuries ago we should have foreseen some foolish young toad would go in anyway."

…

Two hours later….

Naruto and Gamakichi came up to Fukasaku and Shima's home and the young toad had informed Naruto about who Ma and Pa were and how they were great and respected sages. Naruto was less than thrilled that he may have incurred the wrath of two great sages but figured he had saved a pretty girl so it was probably worth it.

"Ma, Pa, we're here!" yelled Gamakichi.

Shima came to the door and said quietly, "Be quiet child! That girl you brought out of the cave is sleeping and we want her to rest peacefully."

"Sorry!" whispered the two boys.

"Is the girl alright?" asked Naruto.

"Considering she's been sealed up in a cave wall for centuries she seems to be doing quite well." answered Fukasaku as he entered the threshold. "I'm sure she's going to wake up hungry and thirsty. Why don't you two boys come in and tell us exactly what happened?"

…

Later…

Shima shook her head at the boys' story. "So this all started because Naruto-chan was bored and Gamakichi-chan was too curious for his own good. In the end you freed the girl from her imprisonment and saved her life because she wasn't breathing."

"Yes Ma." said both of the boys.

Ma sighed. "Gamakichi, we'll figure out your punishment later. The rules you broke were in place for a very important reason. Fortunately nothing bad has happened as yet. As for you Naruto-chan; you'll be staying here with us to help with that girl. Since we have no idea if she's ever spoken to toads before she might react negatively. Having a fellow human around will be for the best. Besides, it's obvious you are very concerned about her."

"Ero-sennin is really going to be angry I ditched him." lamented Naruto.

"Ero-sennin?" asked Pa.

Naruto explained, "That's what I call Jiraiya-sensei since he's a total pervert." Fukasaku promptly exploded into laughter…

Illyana awoke hearing Pa's hysterical laughter. She opened her eyes and found her vision was returning but right now everything was a total blur. She really wasn't sure what had happened. She noticed she was in a warm, comfortable bed and that she had her uniform removed and some kind of robe around her. Hearing the laughter dying down she called out. ["Is anyone there?"] in English. She then repeated the same thing in Russian.

Naruto and the others heard her and Ma said, "Here Naruto-chan. Take her some water and try to talk to her. I have a feeling she doesn't know our language at all."

The young ninja nodded and entered the room with the blond girl in it. "Hello. Can you understand me?"

Illyana turned her head to face the doorway. She saw the blurry outline of a man. ["Hello? Do you speak English or Russian?"] she said in a raspy voice. 'God my throat is dry.'

The man came over and said something to her she didn't understand. What she did understand was when he put a glass in her hand. She tasted it and found it was water. Illyana greedily drank it down. Three cups later her throat felt much better. She smiled weakly at the man and said ["Thank you."]

Naruto saw her smile at him and blushed slightly. He patted her hand in a reassuring way. He wasn't sure what to do since they couldn't understand a word of each other's languages. It was also clear to him she couldn't see well because her eyes were dilated and didn't seem to focus on him exactly. Finally, he gently put her hand on him and said "Naruto." then he moved her hand back to herself.

Illyana felt like she was in a movie. He just told her his name was Naruto. She giggled a bit and pointed to herself "Illyana." Then she pointed back to him. "Naruto."

He then rolled her name off his tongue. "Illyana." They both chuckled a little bit and suddenly her stomach growled. She blushed a bit. He patted her hand telling her he'd get her some food. Going into the front room again, he saw Pa sitting with some tea. "Her name is Illyana and she doesn't speak our language at all. She seems really hungry. Is there something to eat I can give her?"

Pa nodded. "Well, Ma is whipping up a feast for us but we've got apples and crickets to snack on. I have a preference for those big, juicy crickets but for some odd reason Jiraiya-chan always preferred the apples.

Naruto grimaced at the idea of eating crickets. "I'll get her an apple or two. Thanks Pa." Returning to Illyana's bedside he helped her sit up in her sleeping yukata and handed her an apple to eat. From the sounds of what she was saying in her own language the apples must have been really good. He refilled her glass with water to wash it down. "I really wish we could understand each other, Illyana. I'd like to get to know you."

Illyana got a thoughtful look on her face. ["Once I get my strength back, maybe I can cast a spell so we can talk properly. Right now I'm still too weak. Thank you for taking care of me Naruto."] She yawned. ["I'm still exhausted, I'm going to get some more sleep."] She snuggled down into bed and closed her eyes. Illyana smiled as he adjusted the covers for her. She hoped her vision would get back to normal soon. Illyana knew Naruto had blondish hair but that was all she could really see and that was a blur. 'I hope he's handsome.' she thought with a smile before she dozed off.

With Illyana taken care of for the night, Naruto went out to have dinner with Ma and Pa. Naruto managed to choke down Ma's cooking. He did his absolute best to eat everything that Ma fixed for him so nicely. He was also thinking about anything to block out the fact that Ma's fine cuisine was called 'Cockroach Surprise.'

Two weeks later….

It had been a real shock to Illyana to find out she was in a land full of talking toads. She had her full mobility back and her eyesight had fully recovered. Ma was very friendly and was working on teaching Japanese to her. She knew basic things like hello and goodbye but it was going too slow as far as Illyana was concerned. She devised a white magic spell that would transfer information between her and Naruto (she had no idea if it would work with toads so she didn't want to risk it).

Illyana also found herself very attracted to Naruto. Sometimes her Darkchilde persona in the back of her mind whispered that he had a demonic side too and would accept her. The idea thrilled her but without them being able to communicate properly it would be hard to explain. She found a secluded clearing in the forest and set up a magic circle to perform the ritual that would allow her and Naruto to communicate and decided to take him there the next day.

Naruto in the meantime had accepted Fukasaku's invitation to learn senjutsu. He was having a difficult time with it but Pa praised him for advancing so quickly (when he wasn't beating Naruto with his staff to keep him from turning into a toad statue).

The next morning after breakfast (Somehow Illyana and Naruto kept wolfing down Ma's cooking despite the ingredients) Illyana took Naruto by the hand and led him to the magic circle in the forest. She figured the easiest way was to activate the circle and exchange a small portion of blood to use as a medium for the language transfer. Naruto had a skeptical look when she activated the pentagonal circle of silver flame. She held her hand in the flames and showed that the silver flames would not hurt them. Illyana motioned Naruto to do the same and he smiled now assured that it was safe.

Taking Naruto by his hands she led him into the center of the circle and sat down across from him in the lotus position. He joined her and watched as she nicked her finger drawing a little blood. Naruto was puzzled and wondered just what the hell she was doing when she handed him the small knife she used to do the same. He wasn't going to do it but finally caved in at the pleading look she had on her face. He nicked his finger as she had and a drop of blood dripped down into the circle.

Suddenly the Nine-tails chakra interacted with the circle and Illyana lost control of the spell. The circle oozed with red chakra and she felt her own powers skyrocket. She watched as Naruto's eyes changed from their normal azure and turned red and slitted. At first she was terrified as her own eyes bled yellow. She felt her Darkchilde urges overwhelm her and heard the voice say 'He is the same as us. He is the one. Take him now!'

Naruto saw her eyes turn yellow and suddenly his mind turned to thoughts of lust for divine creature in front of him. He grasped her and pulled her into a soul searing kiss which she eagerly returned. The hunger he felt was so bad it was burning him. He felt her hands running through his spiky hair as he pulled her completely into his lap and started exploring every inch of her body. She moaned his name as he kissed her neck in the heat. ["Naruto, I want you!"]

Illyana never felt so much desire in her life and quickly unzipped his jacket showing the form fitting mesh armor beneath. As she ran her hands all over his mesh covered torso she grew frustrated and growled that she couldn't get to his skin. ["Take off your shirt Naruto!"] He didn't have a clue what she was saying so she pulled her yellow and black shirt off as an example. He lustfully started suckling on her left breast through the fabric of her black sports bra. She pushed him back and started roughly pulling at the base of his shirt feeling desperate now.

"Let me do it Illyana-chan." hissed Naruto as he shrugged of his jacket and shirt. He saw her eyes widen before she smiled ferally and started placing love bites on his neck and chest. He fumbled with the clip on her bra before she undid it herself and freed her breasts from their restraints. She saw the look of excitement and lust in Naruto's slit eyes as he stared at her breasts. It gave her feeling of power knowing he wanted her that much but that feeling was soon quashed by overwhelming desire as he kneaded her left breast with his hand while assaulting her right with his mouth.

Naruto pinned Illyana to the ground in one swift move as he started grinding his crotch relentlessly against hers. They were both too far gone to stop now as they started tearing roughly at each other's pants. He pulled her pants and panties off and buried his face in her womanhood. Within minutes she screamed wide eyed as she felt her first climax and roughly pulled his hair. The magic circle they were in was pulsing with power as she panted like an animal in heat. She violently rolled over on top of him and helped him remove his boxers to admire her prize. Smiling hungrily she gripped his manhood and stroked him making his erection even harder.

"God I need you Illyana!" howled Naruto in lust and gripped her hips roughly with his hands. .

Illyana hissed in pain and pleasure. ["I want you inside me now!"] she said and positioned herself over him. She screamed as she slammed her body down and lost her hymen in one swift stroke. The two teens were in a total frenzy. As she rode him she cried out, ["Harder Naruto!"].

He rolled back on top as he thrust into relentlessly. "You're so hot and tight Illyana-!" He felt her clamp down on him as she let out a groan of ecstasy with her second orgasm. Naruto was painfully hard and released inside of her howling. The sound they made together echoed throughout the clearing. It was a music only they could understand…It continued forever….

Hours later Illyana woke up. She was lying in the clearing on her right side. Right behind her was Naruto spooning her body with his own. The magic circle was burnt out. She had a peaceful smile on her face as she felt his arms holding her close. She grabbed his hand and brought it to her mouth before placing kisses on the back of it. They had rutted like a pair of wild animals for hours. She felt him stir and turned to face him. They shared a long, sweet kiss of contentment. "You are so amazing Illyana-chan." said Naruto happily as he kissed her forehead and smiled.

She smiled back at him. Somehow she looked incredibly sexy to him lying there with her long, straight blonde hair completely disheveled. "You are amazing too Naruto. I've never felt anything so good in my life."

Naruto's eyebrows shot up. "I can understand you Illyana! You're speaking my language. How?!"

Illyana looked a little shock herself. "The spell…it still worked?"

"What spell Illyana?" asked Naruto.

She sat up giving him a wonderful view of her body as she thought aloud. "Well, we were supposed to nick our fingers and touch hands so the blood would be a medium to transfer the knowledge of each other's languages."

"I think our bleeding fingertips were the only part that wasn't touching." said Naruto as he also sat up.

She suddenly blushed. "I suppose that any…bodily fluids exchanged would work now that I think about it…"

Naruto blushed as well. "You mean to say we learned each other's languages by making love to each other?"

She nodded in embarrassment. "I guess that sums it up…" They both suddenly heard girlish giggling and Naruto's eyes got big as saucers.

Naruto yelled, "Ero-sennin! If you were watching us I'll-"

Jiraiya's voice echoed out of the bushes near the clearing as he stood up. "Oh, believe me gaki; I was taking notes at that masterful display the whole time for my next book! Bwahahaha! –At first I was really pissed that you ran off here to Mount Myōboku without my permission but I can see you had this lovely maiden to please so all is forgiven." The pervert wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm so proud of you my boy. To have scored with such a hottie at such a young age. My next book, Icha Icha: The Soldier and the Sorceress is going to be absolute gold! Teaching languages through magical sexual intercourse; it's brilliant!" He ran away laughing hysterically at the two shocked teens.

"Is he a…friend of yours Naruto?" Illyana said with cold flames burning in her eyes.

Naruto replied. "No. No, he is a walking corpse. I'm going to kill him slowly and painfully…"

Illyana smiled evilly. "Then we are in complete agreement. Let's get cleaned up and get dressed. Then we'll go hunt him to the ends of the earth if need be."

…

Fukasaku and Shima's home

"Jiraiya-chan said you should stay here and complete your sage training." said Pa. "He told me to tell you how proud he is and how much you inspired him with your achievements you've made since coming here."

Naruto cringed at the innuendo. Illyana asked "And where might he be now?"

Ma poked her head out of the kitchen. "He said he had to go see his publisher in Fire Country. No doubt he's writing another one of his naughty books." she said as she shook her head ruefully. "It's so nice that we can speak to each other now Illyana-chan. I had no idea you could actually learn a language through magic." Ma smiled as she noticed to two teens had their hands intertwined. "You two seem to have grown closer too. It must have been a bonding experience."

Both of them blushed slightly but kept holding hands. They were both glad that Ma and Pa didn't know the explicit details of their bonding experience. "I guess we'll have to train hard so we can impress Ero-sennin when we finally catch up to him.' said Naruto darkly.

"That's the spirit!" said Pa. "We'll get you both stronger in no time. Illyana-chan, I'm sure we toads can help you in your physical and mental disciplines even though we don't use magic like you do."

"I'm a teleporter as well as a sorceress. I'd be very thankful if you would help me get stronger." answered Illyana.

The two teenagers were going to train until the two of them together could take on the world; but actually they were just planning to kill one dirty old man…

…

POSTSCRIPT:

See you next time. Blue out. 9/3/22