I was going to just post the two little ficlets here, but then thought that I should explain slightly. I don't like to make people confused.

We were discussing on the Skulduggery Pleasant Forums how it would be awesome if Peter Capaldi was cast as Kenspeckle and Jenna Coleman was cast as Clarabelle. Then I wrote... this...

Thank you to Lord_Obsidious, Kribu, and FelixNoble for being great discussers! Or whatever you call people who discuss things.

If you like discussing things, too, come join us on the forum! My name there is TheBigCat, and I'm always happy to chat with people who are bored. But you may call me Kitty.


"Clara, get off me!" the Doctor screamed, fighting against his restraints. She just smiled slowly, letting black veins erupt over her face.

"You didn't think it would be that easy," she purred, tracing the scalpel down his neck. "Let's see... where should I start?"

He fixed her with an icy glare. "I know the real Clara is in there somewhere. Let her out. Now."

She seemed to be genuinely considering it for a moment, and then laughed. Not a nice laugh, like she normally had. It was pure evil. "But Doctor, dear. I am the real Clara. We're one and the same."

"No," he grunted, still struggling. "no, you aren't."

She pressed the silver blade carefully to his chest. "Pity. I rather liked you. You were an...acceptable friend."

"Is that all I am?" he hissed. "Acceptable? You know I'll regenerate, and tear the thing inside you apart."

"Have fun trying." She cut deeply, fascinated at the red droplets of blood. She knew he was trying to suppress a scream.

"Why?" he asked from between gritted teeth.

She paused at his wrists. "Because it amuses me."

She sliced, enjoying his yells of pain.


"Oh, look," said the Doctor perfectly cheerfully. "It looks like the regeneration energy burnt off the ties holding me down."

Clara hissed angrily, much like a snake, and held the blood-splattered scalpel up. "This time, I'll finish the job."

"Don't think you will, sweetie," the Doctor moved quickly, slamming her against a wall. "I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you going to get out of my friend or not?"

She smiled, accentuating the black veins running along her face. "As I said before, she and I are the same. I'm the only one who's making sense."

"Wrong answer." The Doctor pressed a well-manicured finger to Clara's forehead and concentrated hard. Clara twitched, once, twice, and began to scream.

"Steady," the Doctor murmured, holding her carefully down. "This will be fine... eventually."

Finally, Clara calmed down. A black wisp of smoke escaped from her mouth, and the black veins retreated. The Doctor pulled out the sonic screwdriver, pointing it at it. It flew into the green jewel at the end. The Doctor peered at it. "Nasty little critter, aren't you?"

"Doctor?" Clara mumbled, stirring weakly. The Doctor rushed over.

"Yes! Doctor! That's me. I regenerated, so I may look slightly different... how do I look?"

Clara blinked twice, trying to focus. "You're... a girl."

"I am?" the Doctor looked rather pleased. "That's a new experience. I shall have to get a new wardrobe."

"And," Clara's eyes widened. "You're covered in blood."

"Oh."

Clara began to panic. "What happened? What happened?"

It was not the time to tell her that she had killed the previous him. Or her, pronouns were going to be a lot more complicated from now on.

"It's going to be okay," the Doctor whispered, trying to believe it.