Made Me Find Myself

By Siren

Okay, this is the last songfic I'm going to write for a little while, because I have other fics to update. This songfics is different from my others. Kagome leaves Inu Yasha after she sees him kissing Kikyo. (God, I hate her so much.) Anyway, I don't own the cast of Inu Yasha, or 'You Made Me Find Myself' by Leanne Rimes. This is not like one of my usual songfics.


Bet you thought my world was over

Bet you thought I'd crash and burn

Kagome walked back to the well, resolution written on her face. She couldn't believe that she'd caught them again. After everything she and Inu Yasha had been through, she saw them together. She saw the look of shock on his face at the sight of her, and the look of contempt on Kikyo's. She admitted that she was hurt deeply, but her hurt soon turned to anger. Why did she have to put up with this?

Inu Yasha had opened his mouth to say something, but Kagome held up her hand to silence him. "Don't say anything, please." She looked at the dead miko, and she smiled softly. "I understand how you feel. And I can't compete with you, I know that. Inu Yasha may care about me, but he loves you. And I'm tired of waiting for him to choose, so I'm going to choose for him." Her gaze fell on the hanyou. "I'm tired, Inu Yasha. I don't want to be a part of this love triangle anymore. I'm going home and don't even think about following me, understand? I'm not going to wait around for you anymore."

With that, Kagome turned and walked away. Now she stood in front of the well, suddenly feeling a heavy weight lifted from her heart. She had waited so long for him; even lost herself in him. Her heart had been chained by love, and now it was free. It was finally free. A small smile graced her lips and her eyes widened. She was free to love another who would love her in return. After all this time of holding on to false hope, she was finally ready to let him go.

She leapt into the well, feeling herself pass between space and time. Despite her many trips, she never got tired of that feeling. Her skirt fluttered as she landed gracefully on the bottom and glanced up. Moonlight filtered into the room, illuminating it. Smiling, she pulled herself out of it and made her way towards her house.

You thought I'd never

Pull myself up off the floor But baby you were wrong Just like before

Kagome opened the door and stepped inside the house. "KAGOME!" her brother flew into her arms and hugged her tightly. "I missed you so much!" he cried happily. Kagome patted his hair gently. "I missed you too, Souta. But don't worry, I won't be leaving again." Her young brother looked up at her in shock. "You're not?" Kagome shook her head. "Nope." His young face fell slightly. "So, Inu Yasha won't be coming here anymore?" She shrugged. "He might."

Satisfied with her answer, he bounded into the family room to continue playing his video games. "Kagome, you're back so soon?" She met her mother's eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I don't know why I stayed so long to begin with." The older woman easily read her daughter's eyes and nodded. Her daughter had finally made up her mind about that dog boy. She knew about her daughter's love for him for a while, but he was too dense to appreciate it.

"Will you be going back?" Kagome shook her head. "No, I'm staying. I'm never going back," she said firmly. Mrs. Higurashi nodded and hugged her daughter gently. "I'm sorry that he was so dense. He didn't appreciate you enough. I know it hurts now, but it will get better," she whispered. Kagome smiled and pulled away. "But that's just it. It doesn't hurt like I thought it would. I don't know why, but for some reason..I feel free more than anything."

Mrs. Higurashi searched her eyes, only to find that it was true. She smiled. "I'm glad honey. But it's late, you should go to bed." Kagome nodded and walked to her room. She flicked on the light and looked at her surroundings. She smiled and began to undress. She took out a pair of sweats and a sleeveless shirt and put them on. Once she was done, she turned off the light and walked over to her window. The moon was full and beautiful. She remembered looking at the stars and moon with Inu Yasha, often catching him looking at her.

But those days were behind her now. He had hurt her too many times, and her heart just couldn't take it anymore. She watched as a figure in red walked out of the well house, and looked up at her. She waved at the figure, and saw it leap to her room. She smiled slightly. "Hey Inu Yasha."

I used to breathe you

I used to need you I used to hang on every word That you say It used to please you To try to make me someone else And I thank you from My heart for you help 'Cause you made me find myself

Inu Yasha pulled himself out of the well. He couldn't believe that Kagome had seen he and Kikyo together. He expected angry words for her, and even a few 'sits'. But all she did was whisper a few words and leave. He didn't smell any tears, so she hadn't cried about it. Even now there was no salt in the air. Didn't his moment with Kikyo mean anything to her?

He stepped out of the well house, and was immiedietly met by her gentle scent. He looked up at her room and saw her looking out her window. The moonlight reflected off of her face gently, and he felt his heart begin to race. She was always beautiful to him. A small smile tugged at her lips as she waved. He ran towards her room and leapt onto the roof. "Hey Inu Yasha," she greeted.

He stepped inside her room, feeling slightly nervous. Why wasn't she angry? Or was she really enraged, but didn't want him to know? "Um, Kagome, about what you saw," he started. Kagome shook her head and pressed a finger to his lips, sending a shiver down his spine. "Don't say it. I already told you that I'm tired of waiting. I'm no longer an option. And ever since I made that decision, I've felt free. Don't give me false hope because I don't want it. Someday I'll find someone to love who will love me in return. And you can't give me that. So go back to Kikyo and forget about me.

Inu Yasha gaped at her. She was fine with this? She gave up on him? He opened his mouth but no words escaped it. "But." Kagome smiled and rolled her eyes. "Listen, I'm sorry if you expected me to throw a tantrum over this. But I'm not going to. I loved you, and a part of you knew that. But you took my love for granted and you've waited too long. I'm not going back to your time. I'm staying here with Hojo and my friends. Please understand."

His eyes narrowed and he growled. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he pulled her to him. "Don't give up on me, Kagome. Please don't give up on me," he pleaded. Hurt flashed in Kagome's eyes as she pushed him away. "Don't. Don't do this. You love Kikyo. You always have. You can't have us both, and I don't want to come between you two. And you can't string me along anymore, because I've cut myself loose. Now go."

He cringed and let her go. She was right. He knew she loved him, and a part of him always used her as a back up when Kikyo rejected him. He had grown to care about her for her of course, but caring wasn't enough. "I'm sorry," he muttered. Kagome nodded. "So am I. You should get going though. You don't want Kikyo to worry." Inu Yasha nodded and walked towards the window. "What should I tell the others?" Kagome thought for a moment and smiled. "Give them my love."

He paused before leaving, taking in her face. She was beautiful. Utterly beautiful. "I'll see you later Kagome." She smiled sadly as he left. "No, you won't." Taking a bow from her quiver, she walked to the well house.

I used to think if I surrendered

I'd be the perfect one for you But I swear I can't remember A single day of happiness with you

She walked up to the old well. The well that had allowed her to travel through time, and had given her the gift of meeting so many wonderful people. Kneeling in front of it, she smiled. "I don't know if you guys can hear me, but I have to tell you something. I'm sealing the well and I won't be able to come back. I love you all, and I wish things could be different. But they can't, and never will be. I hope that you all lead happy lives, and you'll always be in my prayers."

Feeling tears well in her eyes, she raised the arrow and it glowed a soft white color. She brought it down and it pierced the old well. A bright light shone, and she shut her eyes tightly. After a few moments the light dimmed, and she knew it was over. It was all over. She touched the wood gently, and smiled through her tears. Standing up, she turned and walked away.

She walked back to her room and sat on her bed. She opened her drawer and removed a picture. It was of her and the gang, a smile on everyone's faces. She smiled softly through her tears and put the photo away. That chapter of her life was over, and now it was time to move on. She would always worry for Inu Yasha's safety, and would always miss him and the others. But it was time for her to move on with her life. Besides, she had a feeling they would meet again.

I used to breathe you

I used to need you I used to hang on every word That you say It used to please you To try to make me someone else And I thank you from My heart for you help 'Cause you made me find myself

Pulling the covers back, she slipped under them and closed her eyes. Part of her would always love the hanyou and would pine for him. But she had to be strong. She had fight that part of her, for her own sake. If she ever returned or removed the seal, she might never come back home. The thought of watching Inu Yasha and Kikyo together tore her up inside, and she quickly pushed the images away.

Inu Yasha's pained expression entered her mind, and she shut her eyes tightly. She wished he wouldn't look at her like that. Wait a second, she still had the jewel. Feeling the soft glass orb on her chest, grasped it tightly. At least Naraku would never have all the jewel shards. But worry now filled her heart. Should she return to his time? No, she had to be strong. Inu Yasha would be fine, she knew that.

No I'm not going back in time

And there's a price for being strong But I can live with being strong

Reaching for her address book, Kagome searched for a number. She smiled when she found it and reached for her phone. She punched in the numbers, and smiled when the person picked up. "Hello?" She smiled brightly. "Hojo? It's Kagome." She could imagine the young boy perking up at her voice. "Higurashi, I'm so glad to hear from you! How are you?"

She smiled and lied back on her bed. "I'm fine. Listen, I was wondering if you would like to see a movie on Saturday." "I'd love to, Higurashi!" he answered happily. Kagome propped herself up on one elbow. "Hojo? It's just Kagome, okay? No need for formalities." She smiled as she talked with him about school and friends. Yes, she was going to move on.

You made me find my dreams

You made me find my love You made me find myself Thank you thank you

Inu Yasha sat under his favorite tree, holding Kikyo gently in his arms. He would miss Kagome dearly, but she was right. And no matter how hard he tried; his heart would not give up on Kikyo. He nuzzled her hair gently, and found a trace of her old scent. He saw her smile gently in her sleep, and pulled her closer. The others had been upset but understanding. Even Shippo, which surprised him a great deal. "I love you," Kikyo whispered. Inu Yasha smiled gently and replied in kind.

I used to breathe you I used to need you I used to hang on every word That you say It used to please you To try to make me someone else And I thank you from My heart for your help 'Cause you made me find myself