3 - Aloof
She was determined to remain aloof, distant, stoic, if he should approach her. But he didn't seem to feel the need to do so. He had shown up here, caused an embarrassing scene, and yet he didn't even have the decency to offer her his condolence on her grandmother's passing. The funeral had been over for nearly twenty minutes and they were all assembled in the graveyard where Father Josephs would say his spiel. Ashes to ashes and all that. Sarah spotted Him a good fifty feet away, reclining against a headstone and watching the proceedings. Not once though did she feel his gaze settle on her. She wondered if he remembered her at all – the woman he had cavorted with a mere two years before. But she reasoned that he was a cad and a gigolo. He had no doubt had more than his fair share of lovers over the years so of course their names and faces had to blend together after a while.
She turned back to watch Katharine's casket lowered into the ground and heard her sister sobbing loudly. Yet no tears burned her own eyes. She felt ashamed of it somehow. She had loved her grandmother more than life itself. She should be more affected by all of this somehow. Perhaps though it hadn't all fully sunken in yet. She knew if and when it did, that it wouldn't be pretty.
She tossed a bouquet of white lilies onto the casket and buried her face in Jeff's coat for a long moment. He rubbed her back in slow, careful circles but she felt unmoved. She looked up to see a bevy of mourners coming towards her to offer their condolences. Something of course He couldn't be bothered to do. Suddenly though, she didn't have the energy to deal with everything, with everyone. She was too overwhelmed. She wanted to run away. After all that's what she did best.
She whispered in Jeff's ear. "I'll meet you in the car." Then she took off running as she always did. She was halfway to the car when the heavens opened and began showering down a torrent of rain. She figured she looked insane as she navigated the headstones, running as fast as she could. Her heels slowed her down so she kicked them off and kept running.
She reached the car, muddy and out of breath, and yanked her keys from her pocket. She pressed the alarm button and it beeped. She practically ripped the door of its hinges to get inside. She curled up on the passenger seat then, drawing her thin body up into herself. She shivered almost violently for a long moment before the driver's side door opened. She didn't have the energy to look at Jeff. At least she had assumed it was her husband until she felt the familiar heat of another's touch.
She jumped so fast she smacked her head against the roof of the Town car. She rubbed it as she whirled to look at him.
"Beau!" she gasped out. "What the – what the fuck are you doing here?"
So much for distant. So much for aloof…