So, guys, another new story from me, though, to warn, I think this one may be my angstiest one yet. I do hope you guys stick it out with me. And as always, I do promise an HEA. I am going to try to post on this one every day, or every couple of days. As for ADSP, I will be updating that this week.

Thank you to kyla713 for looking this over. And Packy, Heather and Nikki for reading and telling me it isn't crap.



We all have our escapes when it comes to our everyday lives. Whether it be to stay sane, de-stress or satisfy your thirst for something more. For me, it was the something more. I needed to lose myself in an alternate world - some place that another person had created. All I wanted was to forget my real life for a little while.

And I always was able to lose myself in browneyedgirl, or rather, Bella's, worlds she created through her fanfictions every night when I came home. She wrote beautifully, and captured some of my favorite characters in ways I wished the author had. She had so much talent, and I swear with every update she posted, she stole a tiny piece of my soul every time.

I'd find myself re-reading her stories on the L to and from work just about every day. I simply could not get enough of her words.

They consumed me, and my every thought.

But I never thought I'd ever see the day that her words would stop. There I was, on the train into work, a thirty-six year old man on the verge of tears.

I needed her words like the air I needed to breathe.

I read her update again and again, and when I reached her author's note, my throat tightened with emotion.

To my dear kind readers, friends and lurkers:

It pains me to write this to you, especially after all my years in the fandom, but this will be my last story and update... For now. I can't say I won't be back. Never say never, right? But I don't feel good, and just don't have the energy to do this right now.

I can't thank you guys enough for reading, reviewing and talking to me. It's helped me through some bad times. But now? Now, times are darker, harder. I'll be somewhat around. You can find me on my blog, the link is in my profile. I'll try to update as often as I can. I love you guys and this fandom.



I knew deep down there was more to it, and my heart was nagging at me to find out. I had to.




My heart is saddened by this news. You know how much your stories mean to me as well as how much you mean to me. You've never kept something from me before you told the fandom. Please know that I'm here for you. Please text, email, Skype, ANYTHING.


I sent off the email with a heavy heart full of worry for my friend. It didn't matter that we lived miles away, in different states or have never met. She was still a friend, no matter what.

I came across her stories after I finished the Harry Potter series, and just wasn't ready to say goodbye to those characters yet, so I Googled and came across her fanfiction. I messaged her after every single chapter she posted, and I even joined twitter as a way to get closer to the fandom. Somewhere along the way, we slowly became friends. That was a few years ago, and I haven't regretted it since.

My fingers tapped against my mobile as I anxiously awaited her reply. I only hoped her next email to me would calm the storm in my heart.


So, thoughts so far?