So I'm back, and the half-man/half-horse cat rapist strikes again! (Originally Published at 12/3/2014; Updated as of 12/16/2014) Read the bottom for more details.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

At the academy, the crowd cleared their way for the beauties, the Great One-sans, to walk their way to school. Walking towards the school was Rias Gremory, Akeno Himejima and Koneko Toujou. They rarely came late in the morning, and if they did, it was a blessing. The girls were gossiping on wishing to be like them, while the guys were lusting over them. Motohama and Matsuda were among the crowd, enjoying the view from a nearby hill. Though they even wondered where was Issei at since he was late for this perfect chance. As for Issei, he's…

"Take that, teme!"

Everyone sprung directly where the voice came from. Coming from the entrance gate was Issei riding a bicycle as a delinquent from downtown crashed into the wall.

"Tch, baka," the teen muttered as he finally paid attention to the road. Except his eyes widen upon he realize that he's already at school. It's not everyday when you wake up late, took a shower and force to eat breakfast in while changing clothes and leaving the house in the span of five minutes. 'Well… shit!' It finally took in account for everyone that Issei was going about 20 miles per hour directly to the Great One-sans of Kuoh!

"Oh no!" The entire female population yelled in shock as they knew it would be too late to save them.

"Oh no!" The guys, as well as the two Perverted Trio members, scream in fright and anger. Oh, Issei won't live to the light of day if he hurts Rias Gremory and Akeno Himejima.

"Oh no!" Sona whispered in stun silence. She knew that her childhood friend may actually be hurt. Despite being Devils, they can't risk being caught in the open, so Kiba can't save Rias unless he wants to explain his sonic speed.

"Oh yeah!" A large, glass pitcher fill with red Kool-Aid came out of nowhere, but at the wrong place. Sitting there in shock were the Satans in a conference room with a white clothed maid next to a male redhead. "I'm at the wrong place, aren't I?" His response was the maid Devil fainting, all while muttering "Just a dream. Just a bloody dream", with a shock expression.

On the other hand, Issei knew he can pass through this without hurting the beauties and the mascot of the academy. Immediately, he pulled the brake on the bike as he used his feet covered shoes to hold the ground like an anchor. "Come on Issei, use the force!" He gritted his teeth as he continue using a lot of strength in it as the bike shake. While some of the crowed closed their eyes in fear, some look on at it with suspense as in the movies where they're in the edge of the seat in scenes where someone escapes certain danger.

Suddenly, the bike trip sideways, causing Issei to momentarily to freak out. 'Okay, now I need to improvise.' Seeing that he's about ten feet closing in, he got off his petals in the nick of time, as the left side landed, before standing on the now skidding bicycle. Stretching his arms out and locking his feet in certain position of the bike, he quickly took a deep breath before whirling to his left side

"Wārupūrusupin!" With that battle cry, Issei was twirling around like a tornado, and with enough force to go around the three girls. The audience were slack jawed, mouth gaping and jaw dropping at this turns of event. Issei Hyoudou, the Horn Dog of Kuoh, also known as the Embodiment of Lust, save not only himself but the Great One-sans from harm. It's too shocking to even believing it to be true.

Sadly, however, that was short live as he hit the water fountain that was in front of the academy. From the force of the surprisingly fast downed bike and forcefully to be stop by the concrete work of art, Issei was sent flying like a rag doll. And since he was spinning only made it worse as he flew in the air at a five degree angle with his arms wailing.

"Haaaaa Aaaaaa Aaaaaa!" Issei yelled out the famous Wilhelm Scream he soar into the skies before reaching an unfortunate window from the building. Glass shattered with many loud crashes soon heard afterwards. Everybody winced and flinched at each thud that was heard in the building on the poor boy. The one thing that he saw before blacking out was seeing a brunette female with twin pigtails, olive green eyes and pink glasses, came to check on him. As well of saying to her:

"Whoa... a tenshi..."

~Hours Later~

So things went back to normal after his date with Yumma Amano. Sort of.

Now unlike those cliches where Raynare, incognito, kills Issei after the date, whether it was perfect or not, didn't happen here. Instead, he piss her off so badly that she left him. That's right, she left Issei hanging, got her group, and left this town completely. All because Issei ate a very stuff hot dog that she dare him to eat and threw up on her before she can use her equivalent to "Would you kindly..." from a certain FPS. Raynare, before leaving, quickly had removed all form of her existence as Yumma. It wouldn't be bad if the Devils and our brunette can remember it. Though the Devils were completely unaware that the Fallen had evacuated the area already till last Wednesday.

Since then, Issei began to change back on what he was before being a pervert, and that was being a gamer. It had been almost nine year ago that his mom bought him gaming system to keep his mind off from Irina. That system happen to be the Nintendo Famicom with some games as a gift for his seventh birthday. The Gameboys were never his, they actually belong to his blond friend who took them as remembrance. The brunette enjoyed his system a lot with great memories, especially with two games that he enjoyed very much. Those being Contra and the original Castlevania, both from Konami. He loved it so much that his one of his cousin's neighbor's friend gave him a Sega Megadrive for his ninth birthday. Same thing happen from an aunt of his tenth who gave him a Super Famicom. It wasn't until he found them in attic last Tuesday.

Though for some reason the teen wonder how he completely forgot about them in middle school. Oh well, better late than never, right?

Slowly waking up, he found himself in the nurse office. He saw his school bag in the corner while he was laying on the one of the beds. Turning around, the former pervert saw the nurse coming in. She wore a dark gray color of the uniform, with the skirt going to her ankles, with black curly hair to her back. Issei remembered her as Rin Kazama. She stopped healing the Perverted Trio after hearing that they were, and you guess it, perverts. However, she was one of few people to notice major changes from the brunette, and she was happy with it. The others being the teachers, the Devils and his parents.

"You gotten nasty wounds from that landing, Hyoudou-san," she half joked, half stated.

"Don't remind me, ouch," Issei said before grunting in pain from all the numbness. Rin quickly came to his side to tell him by staying in bed "Just how long have I been out?"

The nurse thought of the time Issei lost when he was out cold. "Well, if you count about zero period despite not having it, I would say about almost the whole academy day." The student looked at her with wide eyes and jaw drop.

"Say what now!?" He yelled in shock. "I miss the almost a whole day of school! Great, how I am going to explain this to my ryōshin of this?"

"They were, of course, immediately notified of this after your rough landing. You should be lucky that Aika Kiryuu-san was nearby who helped you get here," she explained. "Though they surprisingly took this very well, despite what happen. Care to explain me about this?"

Issei was scratching his head in embarrassment as he suddenly recalled painful flashbacks. "Just check my elementary years' records. You'll be amaze of the crazy things I done as a kid," the teen replied before he blushed about something. "Wait, who is this Aika girl you spoke of? Was she the last person I saw before passing out?"

The nurse saw something in this and decided to get in return. "How about a deal, Hyoudou-san: You tell me of this sudden change of personality, and I'll tell you who's Kiryuu-san. Deal?" Rin proposed with narrowed eyes. The former pervert thought this very closely. If he confessed, he gets something interesting in return.

"Alright, I'll talk, but as long you give your end of the deal too," he said as Rin nodded her head. Sighing he closed his eyes as he began. "It all started last week, after I had my supposed date with a girl named Yumma Amano." He stopped to open his eyes and to see her have an expression before continuing. "She was some random girl who just suddenly came by to me and ask to go out with her. I, being a pervert at the time, took this golden opportunity, even introduced her to Motohama and Matsuda to prove it. Then we went on our date, everything went fine, despite the awkward start, and did lots of fun things together. Then it eight at night, our final moment together before school. She was going to ask me something before I." This time Issei gulped, causing the nurse to look at him with eyebrows raise.

"Before you what, Hyoudou-san?"

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I," Rin was giggling at this while he stuttered. "I kind of... Threw up on her..." The nurse then look at Issei with a blank expression.

There was silence in the room, with the brunette being the only person aside from her in the room. "Haha haha," Rin muffled her laughter before it was too much for her. "Haha haha! Haha haha! Haha haha!" Issei just sat there in embarrassment from her reaction.

"I-Its not funny!"

"I-I'm sorry! Pfft! Haha haha! " she continue for a few seconds before finally stopping. "Oh lord, that's a classic. So you puke on this girl because..."

"It was an accident! Though she's at fault, too. I mean, who in their right mind would dare their boyfriend to eat an extra toppings chili cheese dog?"

"Really now? You threw up on her because of a dare? Well I don't blame ya since my boyfriend will do anything to defend his honor as a man." Issei muttered beneath his breath. "So what happen afterwards?"

"She flew away."

"... What?"

"Said the same thing, too, sister. She grew a pair of crow's wings and left me hanging."

There was again silence in the room before the clock on her desk showed the time. Fifth period is almost over. Though Rin was surprise from this suppose story that Issei told her. If what he said is true, then how come everyone never notice this? Oh well, its better to figure it out later.

"Is that all?" She asked.

"No, as another reason was because of having nostalgia." Seeing her confuse face, Issei explain again. "You see, when I was young, I had a friend name Irina Shido. We both knew each other when we were young, but he had to move to England. My kaa-chan didn't want me to stay depress, so she bought me a gaming system with a few games for it. That happen to be a Nintendo Famicom. Mario and Zelda were good, but the ones that caught my eyes were Contra and Castlevania. I mean, why save the princess when you can shoot and slash your way to save the world from aliens and monsters?

"Then my cousin's, Kenji, neighbor's friend, Makoto, gave me his Sega Mega Drive for my ninth birthday. While he got a four terabyte hard drive for his computer from my cousin as Kenji dated his imōto. I believe its a win-win situation for all three of us. Last I heard, they got married and I have either a mei or oi." He smiled at the memory while Rin was looking amused. "Then my oba gave me her Super Famicom for my fourth grade's graduation. My ryōshin then got me my new favorite games of all time: Contra: Hard Spirits, Contra: The Hard Corps, along with Akumajō Dorakyura 4 and Vampire Killer. Then I found them again last Tuesday in the attic. All that after Yumma left me hanging. Pretty cool, right?" Truly Rin was amaze on the tale. No wonder Issei isn't a pervert anymore, since he had and now got something better to do than peeping at girls. Going to her desk, she went to retrieve something.

"Hey," the brunette whined. "I thought we had a deal."

"We did," she replied as she came back with a folder. "I just need to get a picture for you to know and a pass to go back to class." The nurse then came and laid it on the chair she sat on while she wrote a pass for him. "That's Aika Kiryuu: Sophomore, class representative of Class 2-A, smart, average body of a female, and, surprisingly enough, a pervert. One specific thing about her is that she can, like Motohama, measured a human body. The opposite of your friend, she can tell the sizes males' manhoods, if you know what I mean, despite them wearing anything at all."

Issei had wide eyes as he saw her picture and heard on what the nurse said. She was a female teen around his age, had long brown hair in twin pigtails, one on each side. Olive green, seductive eyes behind round glasses with pink rims on the edges. Despite wearing the academy's girl uniform, it hugged her figure very well. And the fact that she's pervert only makes it better for him.

Screw the Great One-sans when you can get the girl with glasses!

"Here ya go, Issei: a pass telling you're okay to go to class now," Rin said as she gave him a piece of paper. "Also, I need that folder back, please." Issei smiled as he gave back the portfolio back as he got the paper. He left the nurse office with his bag slump over his shoulders. As he left towards his class, Issei stumble onto the sight of the school president of Kuoh Academy, Souna Shitori.

"Hey there, kaicho," Issei greeted nervously as she gave him a cold stare. Who wouldn't be if it wasn't for the fact that he crashed through a window and probably broke a few things when he unintentionally took flight.

"Issei Hyoudou, may I speak with you in the student council room, immediately?" She asked strictly. The brunette sighed as he followed behind her. The passing students look at them as the duo went to the student council's room. Once entering, he saw the other members, including student vice-president Tsubaki Shinra and the only male in the council, Genshirou Saji. After sitting with all the council members in the room, Souna readjusted her glasses. "Alright let's begin on what on Earth were you thinking?" Issei stayed quiet as she continue with her ramble. He knew better than trying to defend himself in front of her, until it reached to one certain part that made him snapped.

"It's bad enough I have to deal with your peeping to the girls, now causing property damaged? I should have you expelled for this!" Sona ranted angrily before being interrupted.

"Then why not do it!" Issei said. This caused everyone to look at him in shock. "Why not make everybody bloody happy by expelling my ass out here! Is it really that hard to expelled me? Oh wait, yes it is. Kuoh Academy never had someone drop out and have a perfect reputation to take someone from zero to hero." Issei then lean forward on the table he was sitting. "So tell me, Sona-kaicho: Are you willingly to expelled me to taint the reputation that Kuoh Academy? All because of me?" Nobody dare to say anything after what he said. It's true on of the reputation that Kuoh Academy has. Expelling Issei will bring dishonor to them despite bringing relief for the females. Even Saji, who would help Souna no matter what, didn't say anything.

"Please excuse of my ramble, Hyoudou-san," Shitori apologized. "I've never tolerated anything this intense before. Usually you only get in trouble by peeping at any girls club, especially the Kendo Club. I hope you don't do that or doing anymore damages towards private property again. Understood?"

"I understand, kaicho," Issei replied. "I just talked to Nurse Rin after I woke up. As we speak right now, she going over my medicals records from my time in elementary. You all should see it sometime, it's... intriguing. Also, who's going to pay for the damages?"

This time it was Tsubaki who raised her hand. "Don't worry about that, Hyoudou-san. Knowing it was an accident altogether, we'll cover for the damages. Just don't do it again," she said.

"Yes, ma'am," Issei bowed before leaving to class. From there, everything went back to normal. Sure there were questions like "how you were feeling", "are you alright?" or "did you get any scars from that landing?" from the students. After the bell rang, everyone left as Issei and his friends were making their way home. Though the male brunette made a quick trip to get all of his assignments and homework from his missed classes.

"Issei, I'm still amaze you manage to hurt the Great One-sans from the stunt you pulled!" Motohama exclaimed. No matter what, the boys were happy and jealous of Issei, who did something that even left the sport's team male members to be jaw dropped.

"I know that, guys. No need to remind me," the brunette said as something crossed his mind since sixth period. "Hey, Matsuda, Motohama." Both male teens stop to turn on what he was going to say. "Do you two happen to know of a girl named Aika Kiryuu?"

Change of plans, this will be a short story of IsseiXAika. I prefer crack and rare pairing since they make the story more interesting. The main pairings are usually overdone and cliche in some way or form. Also I got some feed back on the translation. I got that covered now, with their meaning underneath here.

Nee-chan/one-san= big sister, imoto=little sister, yujin=friend, kaa-chan=mom, rinjin=neighbor, itoko=cousin, tenshi=angel, ryoshin=parents, mei=niece, oi=nephew, oba=aunt, warupurusupin=whirlpool spin, teme=bastard, baka=idiot, kaicho=student president.

Also, the Japanese games are equivalent to their American counterparts: Contra 3 The Alien War=Contra Hard Spirits, Contra Hard Corps=Contra The Hard Corps, Super Castlevania 4=Akumajō Dorakyura 4, and Castlevania Bloodlines=Vampire Killer. Here's the console, which everyone should know by heart. Famicom=NES, Super Famicom=SNES, Megadrive=Genesis.

Also, the next chapter will probably be long. I'm squezzing three arcs into one. Raynare's Arc DOESN'T happen! Remember she left after Issei threw up on her. Riser's will be easy with 5 words: Video game's hardest levels ever. Kokabial won't have Raynare since she's still piss and the peace treaty will end differently. All while Issei is gaining the affection of Aika.

Leave a video game you want Riser to suffer. They need to be either NES, SNES or Genesis games. Drop your choices in the review. It's mandatory, please!

Other than that, review, follow and/or favorite.