Epilogue: NIGHT OF THE REVENGE
Nick arrived at Catherine's house with Michelle. He had never been quite so happy. His rash was all but gone, he was back in his boxers, and he had the most beautiful girl in Las Vegas on his arm.
"Let me get this straight," he heard Sara say. "Your name is Heidi, and you have on leather pants?"
"Yeah. Greg asked me to wear them for you. I didn't know he was into that kind of kink, but it sounded interesting to me."
Nick smirked. Heidi could sure tell a joke.
She was joking, right?
Sara walked away from the chip bowl, looking dumbfounded as Greg wrapped his arms around Heidi's waist.
"Sara doesn't know which way is up right now, baby."
Heidi just laughed. "Sorry about that, but the girl is hot! And it's fun to yank her chain."
Greg just shook his head. "Look, it's Nick. Do you know what Sara and Catherine did to us?"
Heidi laughed. "Yeah. Word gets around Deli Llama."
Michelle looked confused. "Word? About what? What happened, Nicky?''
Nick rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably. "Nothing worth talking about, Mich. Let's just say that tonight is payback night."
Michelle raised an eyebrow. "You're Heidi, right?"
"What's Nicky not telling me?"
"If Nick doesn't tell you, then I'd better not say. He tips well."
"Thank you, Heidi."
Michelle looked a little frustrated, but Sara, who had been listening in on the conversation from behind the wall, came out and grabbed Michelle's arm. "Let me tell you all about it."
Heidi followed the other two women into the living room. "This is going to be funny," she said.
Greg and Nick stared at each other. "What did Heidi think about it?"
"Heidi's a free-spirit."
"What will Michelle think?"
Laughter permeating from the other room let them know exactly what Michelle thought.
"No wonder he bought the—"
"What?!" six surprised voices asked as Nick and Greg joined the other couples and their dates in the other room.
Grissom regarded Nick with a raised eyebrow, then gave Greg a brief accusatory stare.
"Listen, girls. . ."
Heidi cut Nick off with a raise of her hand. "It's okay, I think that most of the people in this room have worn a thong at some point. Counting you and Greggy, over half, I think."
Catherine just laughed and shook her head. "Yeah, but you never put Gold Bond Extra Medicated powder on it."
When it was explained how that came about, Heidi resisted the urge to punch Greg hard in the arm. It's an unfeminine thing to do, and guys really hate it – as her brothers so often told her.
"You should have seen the look on his face when he had to chase after a fleeing suspect the other day. We had him in a red velvet thong – the look on his face!" Sara was howling, "You should have seen his legs when he ran – he was like this -" she bowed her legs and waddled forwards, demonstrating, "It was like watching a duck on speed!"
Nick glared at Warrick accusingly before turning the full force of his gaze on Sara, "I caught the guy!" he protested.
"Yeah – you did. And then you snapped the thong at either leg hole and pulled it out of the back of your pants." Sara grinned broadly and winked at Michelle, "You should see this boy shimmy. Cath and I should have made you wear pasties instead of the matching bra! Actually, he's almost the same shade of red right now as the thong was!"
"Yuck it up, Sidle," Nick smiled at her wickedly. "I might have worn women's underpants, but at least I don't have a crush on Grissom."
Sara turned red and stared at Grissom. "I. . ."
Grissom turned an equal hue of red. "Uh. . ."
Catherine, Heidi and Michelle all turned to look at Nick, expressions amused and regretful. Cath shook her head at him, smiling, "Nicky, Nicky, Nicky – you realize what you just did?"
Nick smirked, "Yeah. I just outed the worst kept secret in the lab. Payback's a bitch, ain't it Sidle?"
Sara was gaping at him, eyes flashing angrily, "You don't know payback, milk-boy. I was gonna take it easy on you tonight - but now? All bets are off!"
"Really. There's no way in hell you could win two bets in a row. The first time you were lucky – if Catherine hadn't been your partner it would have been you in thongs and push up bras all week. You're not a drinker, Sara."
"So – what? You're implying I'm a lush?" Catherine interrupted. Standing immediately behind her, Warrick caught Grissom's eyes and grinned. *Trust Nick to get them going.*
Grissom was too busy staring at Sara to pay much attention to Warrick. *Sara? Had a crush on him?*
"I didn't say that, Cath," Nick protested, suddenly nervous. Michelle grinned when she realized his accent got stronger when he was flustered, "But you gotta admit, you are more experienced -"
"Nick!" Greg hissed, "Ix-nay on the alking-tay!"
Heidi grinned, "Smart man. You always talk before you think, Texas?"
Sara muttered, "Don't flatter him. He doesn't think."
The blush that had receded from Nick's face was back with a vengeance, "You know that giant wedgie I warned you about earlier, Sidle – imagine it tripled."
"I'm scared, Nicky," Sara snorted.
"You should be," Nick muttered back.
"Put your money where your mouth is. I don't think you and Greg have been humiliated enough – you obviously didn't learn anything!"
"Fine. Since the underwear thing's been done – losers have to wear an outfit of the winner's choice at work two days in a row for the entire shift. I bet you couldn't even walk in stiletto heels, Sara."
"I could walk in them better than you, Nick," Sara retorted. "I can see you in a day-glo mesh t-shirt now!"
Beside Nick, Michelle grinned, "If you're going to make him wear mesh, put him in leather shorts as well. Then make him come visit me at work."
Heidi started laughing, "And Greg. Greg has to be in mesh too! A mesh muscle shirt. I have a pair of black leather lederhosen that would probably fit him and -" She stopped talking and looked at Michelle in confusion when everyone else in the room began to laugh.
Greg looked like he was going to choke, he was shaking so hard. "Lederhosen…" he finally managed to gasp out at her confused look, "…you're really perfect, you know that Heidi?"
* * * * *
"Monopoly?" Sara griped, "How low have we sunk?"
"It's a fair game. A little more chance involved – besides which, this way we get to play teams," Grissom murmured consolingly, as he set up the board and started doling out the money.
"That may or may not be a good thing," Michelle inserted, winking saucily at Nick as she stole a sip of beer out of the can at his side, "I'm thinking Nick in leather shorts may just be worth throwing the game for."
Nick grinned back at her, "Maybe for you, that can be arranged without letting Sara win."
"Quit yer flirting, Nick, and put on your game face!" Greg demanded. "You know you don't own leather shorts."
"Yeah," Sara inserted, "You should ask him to model the hot pink garter for you instead, Mich."
"So – just to establish – it's Nick/Michelle and Greg/Heidi are playing against Sara/Grissom and Cath and I, right? And the team with the highest combined cash and property values when the game is over wins?"
"That's right, Warr," Catherine smiled. "But I still don't think it's fair that if we lose only Sara and I have to dress up."
"Of course it's fair!" Grissom responded, "Heidi has to wear her waitress uniform and Michelle works at a grocery store – they won't be dressing up if Nick and Greg lose."
Catherine sighed, "Fine. Just – something feels fishy about this whole thing. I'm not sure it's such a good idea."
"Chicken, Cath?" Greg chortled, "Afraid of us?"
Sara looked at Catherine and grinned reassuringly, "I'm an excellent Monopoly player, Cath. There's no way we can loose this. I mean, look who were up against! No offence, Heidi and Michelle."
Heidi smiled back, "None taken." *You're so going down!*
"I want us to be the car," Greg whispered as Grissom set up the board on the floor and counted out the money.
"No, you want to be in the backseat of the car."
Grissom cleared his throat. "Kids? Roll the dice to see who goes first."
Heidi blushed a little and rolled a die. It landed on six. She smiled and grabbed the car. Nick frowned.
"I wanted the car."
Michelle picked up the bucking bronco. "This is a little more your speed, cowboy."
Nick gulped at the hand on his thigh.
"Sara and I are going to be the shoe."
"I want the dog," Sara told him.
"Well, I want the shoe."
Sara fixed him with a gaze.
Grissom sighed laboriously. "Fine. Dog. Whatever."
"She's got you whipped already, man," Warrick laughed. "She's gonna have you under her cute little thumb!"
Grissom could think of many worse places to be than under Sara's 'cute little thumb', but he decided to keep that thought to himself and handed Sara the dog. "Roll the dice, Sara."
Sara rolled a three. Greg let out a small laugh. Sara glared at him.
"So, Heidi and Greg go first, then Catherine and Warrick, then Michelle and Nick, then Sara and me." Grissom looked at Sara and blushed slightly. 'Sara and me' suddenly took on a whole new meaning.
Heidi rolled a five and moved to the Reading Railroad. "Should we buy it?" she whispered to Greg.
"No," he whispered back so no one could hear him. "You can't build on it, and you'll never get all four. Just sit tight."
Heidi had a feeling that she'd be sitting all night and into the next day. Monopoly was the longest board game ever invented, and she wondered if she'd endure.
Of course, Greg's chest was warm against her back, and his arms were crossed around her, his legs flanking her hips. She smiled and leaned against him, confident that he could support her weight.
As they kissed lightly, Grissom watched them in wonder and slight jealousy.
How could he have talked Greg into something like this when he was afraid to enter into it himself? He looked over at Sara, who was watching Nick roll, and touched her back lightly, allowing his fingers to graze her backbone. She looked at him with large searching brown eyes, and he smiled.
Sara nodded and rolled the dice, fully aware that Grissom's hand was still on her back.
* * * * *
"Free parking!" Nick crowed – "First time it's been hit all night! Show me the money baby!"
Beside him, Michelle laughed and loudly started counting – "Why – Sara – isn't this the fine you had to pay? And Catherine – this must be one of the many fines you had to pay. You know what – there's over $2500 here!"
Sara scowled, "Yeah. Yeah. Just give me the dice already!" Grabbing them, she shook her wrist violently before dropping them in the box. "Six." Scanning the board, she groaned, "Shit. Go to jail…go directly to jail…"
Heidi clucked her tongue, "That's what – three times now you'll have to play the back half of the board without passing go and collecting your $200. What a shame." Greg ran his hands over her back and they chortled together.
Grissom half-smiled when Sara snorted inelegantly and moved their game piece into jail, "If the LVPD could see us now," he teased.
"I don't think it's funny," Sara muttered. "We're never gonna make it to go, and I'm getting sick of paying rent."
Greg grinned, "It's just gonna get worse, Sara. Nick – Michelle – I'll give you Illinois and Connecticut for Park Place. Heidi and I want to build some homes."
Nick grinned and tossed Park Place to Heidi. "Good deal. Especially when Catherine and Warrick are gonna hit that corner soon. You have enough money to pay if you land on Boardwalk, Cath?"
"Shut up, Nicky!" Catherine retorted, before sighing and turning to Warrick. "We have to get past that corner without landing on any properties, or else we're toast. We've only got $20 left – and no more properties except Baltic to mortgage."
Warrick sighed, "Proper fiscal planning is a necessity in a game like Monopoly, Cath. Seriously."
Catherine shrugged, "So I'll know for next time. You could have reigned me in you know."
Greg tossed the dice as Heidi carefully placed several houses on their properties. "Card me!" he demanded, moving the car to Community Chest. Heidi grinned, and grabbed a green card. "You have just won $10 in a beauty contest."
Greg grinned and pretended to fluff his hair, "Throw it in the kitty, baby. You realize, Cath – if you roll a 6 or an 8, your bankrupt."
Catherine rolled her eyes and palmed the dice. Turning to Warrick, she admonished, "Blow on them for luck."
Warrick grinned, "Superstitious much?"
"I'll try anything once," Catherine responded, flirtatiously. Shaking her wrists, she hollered, "No Whammies! No Whammies! Shit. Eight. We're out." Tossing her $20 at a chortling Greg, she rose to her feet and wiped her hands across her butt. "C'mon Warrick – make me a martini."
"That's it?' Sara griped. "That's all you have to say? 'Make me a martini?' No, 'Gee, Sara – sorry we're bankrupt? Sorry we're gonna lose the bet to Frick and Frack here? Sorry you're going to be humiliated?'"
Catherine tossed her head and grinned at Sara, "They could never make me wear anything worse than some of the outfits I had to squeeze into in the past. Besides, Grissom said no more underwear, so you know we'll be reasonably covered up. Don't be a sore loser, Sara."
Sara snorted and turned to glare at Nick, "Are you going to take your turn, or are you just going to sit there and gloat all night?"
"I sorta like the gloating," Nick retorted. "Listen, Sara. You can't win. Just concede."
Sara shot him an incredulous look, before turning to Grissom. "He thinks we should quit! Can you believe it?"
Grissom shrugged, "We've got $105 dollars left, we're in jail, and we have a myriad of properties to get through just to hit go. I don't think it's such a bad idea. It's getting late anyway."
Sara couldn't believe what she was hearing. Grissom? Give up? Without at least a bit of a fight? Not even the tiniest glimmer that he'd try and keep her from wearing skimpy outfits that *Greg* would be choosing for her? And the instigators of all this - Nick and Greg - were now cozying up with two girls who looked as though they enjoyed wearing thongs, so, in the end, they wouldn't have learned anything at all!
What was all of this for, anyway? What was she trying to do? In attempting to bring the boys some enlightenment on how to not make women sex objects, she herself would become that sex object by conceding.
And here was Grissom, the man she had to admit she had a crush on, looking sanguine about the entire thing. It was almost like he wanted her to lose. . .
"Fine. We concede." Sara didn't sound too happy about it. "But I swear to God, Nicky – you better think long and hard about what you're going to make me wear. I can do a lot of damage with a thin little stiletto."
Nick grinned back, "Not if you're wearing a micro-mini – you'll be too scared to try to kick me."
"Wanna bet?" Sara retorted. Nick shot an amused glance at her and Grissom and noticed the older man contemplating her legs. *Probably anticipating the micro-mini* he thought.
Throwing an arm around Michelle's shoulders, he chortled happily, "Life is good. No more women's underwear, a night off, and two days of Sara-humiliation to anticipate and plan. I think you're my lucky charm, Mich."
Michelle just shook her head, "Not so lucky for me, though. I really was looking forward to seeing you in leather. I don't suppose you have a pair of chaps back at your place?"
Nick just smiled.
* * * * *
Sara walked out of Catherine's house in a slight huff, though still baffled as to how she could have lost a game of Monopoly when she was playing with Grissom.
"Sara?" he said. "I'll drive you home."
Sara nodded and got into his Tahoe.
"If you want, I'll stop by my place and get 'Applied Psychodynamics in Forensic Science' for you."
Sara nodded. "Sure. Sounds good."
Nick walked Michelle to his car and waved at Greg and Heidi as they climbed into Greg's Jeep.
"Did you have a fun evening?" Nick asked sweetly as he got into the drivers' side.
Michelle smiled back at him. "Evening isn't over with yet, cowboy."
Nick drew in a deep breath. "Yippy-yi-yo-ki-yay!"
At a stop light, Greg looked over at Heidi. "Do you really have lederhosen that will fit me?"
"We'll have to go to my place and find out."
Warrick emptied the last few drops of a spent bottle of wine into his glass and threw the empty bottle away.
Catherine slinked over to his side and rested her head against his shoulder.
"If you wanted to see me in skimpy clothes, you could have just told me," she whispered.
Warrick put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
"I don't know what you're talking about, hun."
"I'm talking about the fact that you didn't have to go to this elaborate ruse of throwing a Monopoly game just to get me into a G-String."
He rested his chin on her head, thankful that their bodies fit together so well. "What about in order to get Grissom and Sara together? Is it worth that?"
The End…or is it…..
****evil laughter, as Mich and Heidi plan the sequel****
Author's Note: We both just wanted to say this has been a blast to write! We have formed our own little mutual admiration society –Heidi's the overlord, and I'm her wacky court Jester with a ukulele and a funny hat with bells on it.
So the story was silly. So it's unlikely ever to happen in real life or on TV (you know what we mean) – but the thought of Nick and Greg in ladies underwear really made us laugh. Look for the sequel early in the New Year – and stay tuned….