Some of my reviewers (courtesy forbids me from saying "illiterate flamers who are too stupid to understand either the genre, the summary, or the goddamn author's note") seem to be a bit unclear on the underlying concept of this fic, so I'll make a blanket statement here:

This.

Is.

A.

Parody.

Yes, folks, a parody. It is intentionally bad. It is intentionally stupid. I am making fun of all the bad romance fics out there; don't think for a minute that I take this fic seriously. That's why (surprise, surprise) I set the genre at Romance/Parody. And if you don't understand what "parody" (hint: one of its synonyms is "satire") means, I heartily suggest that you get a dictionary and look it up.

That's all.