From the 'author' who brought you...
A PINCH OF SUGAR
A PINCH OF SPICE
THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE
"A Bunch Of Billdip Drabbles".
The whole Pines family had planned a Christmas reunion- It was a late night, and Mabel was getting their cousins riled up for the next day. The family had gathered around the fire, hot cocoa in hand and laughs being had.
Calm, quiet... Perfect.
But he couldn't ruin Pine Tree's little celebration of useless paper-clad boxes, oh no.
There were puns to be made! And most importantly, he'd get to spend a little time with the whole family.
Dipper, unlike his sister, was bored out of his mind. The adult's banter was centred completely around sports, work and books Mabel had to steal in order to read. The summer they'd spent in Gravity Falls so many years ago had left unanswered questions tumbling around in his head. Often he could barely think of anything else, and his grades didn't seem to hide it.
He was awoken from his daydreaming when his father called his name. "Hey, Dipper! Listen to your mother!" Dipper looked to her in confusion.
"Oh, sorry Dip! I was just wondering..." She pulled at her collar nervously. "Well, I was just telling Stan about your, ah..." Stan, who had been sitting quietly on the sofa, burst into laughter.
"She was telling me about that diary of yours! Let me tell you, kid- You are a RIOT!" Dipper's face went pale as snow, and he made a promise to himself he'd never leave it at home again.
"MOM! YOU DID NOT." He was panicking, his sweat soaking through his clothes at an abnormal speed. "I can't believe this. This can NOT be happening..."
He may or may not have become obsessed with a certain demon.
That obsession started out as just wanting to figure out his plans...
And ended up writing about him, drawing him, thinking about him nonstop...
Not to mention his hormones.
Plus his still lingering sadness from Wendy rejecting his feelings so long ago...
Obsessions and hormones plus the aching heart of a rejected romance... You can imagine the kind of things he'd wrote in his diary.
A sharp knock at the door was all he needed to flee the room. A chocked cry caught in his throat and tears threatened to spill. Weakly shuffling to the door, he prayed his eyes were well hidden.
When he swung open the door, it took every last muscle in his body to not run away screaming.
"Fuck my life."
"That's what I'm here for, kiddo!~"
Bill was hovering there in mid-air, but his usual triangular form was now replaced by that of a grown man. His blonde hair was neatly brushed, a top hat balanced carefully on top. He looked to be about twenty years old, judging by his height and wrinkle-free tanned skin. His one visible eye was stormy grey, the other hidden behind a midnight black eye patch.
"So, this is Christmas? Huh, I expected a lot more creepy old men." He grinned widely, letting himself in and closing the door behind him. "Actually, Stan is here, isn't he? Well, for once I guess I didn't look hard enough!" An amused laugh echoed off the walls, and Dipper prayed nobody had heard him yet.
"Oh my god Bill what the hell are you doing here get out now please oh god why-" He was interrupted by a cane (Bill hadn't had it before, had he?) slamming down on his toe.
Dipper's mother was standing in the doorway that separated the front room from the lounge. "Dipper, you didn't tell me your boyfriend was coming over! Come in, come in!"
Dipper looked up at the demon, but all he did was smile wider and follow her inside. "Keep quiet, play along, and don't you dare say a word about who I really am. Kapish?" Before he could object, the cane was back at his foot. "Do I really need to explain what will happen if you don't?" The cane was now pointed at his mother, and the boy shook his head in fear. "Good Pine Tree." The cane was lowered.
The boy's face flushed with embarrassment and anger, but the redness only darkened when he felt gloved fingers slip through his own. He squeezed it nervously, and the two awkwardly sat down on the sofa.
"So, Dipper." His father started, his voice a low grumble. "This is that guy you wrote about?" He shot a glare at the demon. "Because if half of the things you wrote were true..."
Dipper squeaked, mortified. "N-No! Dad, shut u-"
"Oh, do tell!" Bill cut him off, eager to humiliate him further. Or perhaps he wanted to know what he'd written- Dipper had used a spell from journal three to keep the diary pages away from Bill's prying eye. The enchantments he'd put of the diary were enough to keep DEMONS out, but apparently not parents.
He honestly didn't know which was worse.
"Well... I'd rather not say in front of..." The displeased parent jerked his head towards the little kids running around with Mabel. "You know."
Bill gave Dipper a look that screamed blackmail, and the teen hid his face in his hands. "Dad, why... What the actual fuck..."
His mom was just as bad. "Oh, you look just like his drawing of you, too!" She gushed, and produced a small piece of paper from her pocket. She tossed it to Bill who gracefully caught it in his free hand.
"Bi- I mean-" Dipper shot a sideways glance at the demon, not sure what to call him. "Please, you don't- That's-"
There was no laughter, no poke in the side, no teasing and no chaos. "Wow. Yeah, I, uh..." The man cleared his throat, and Dipper silently hoped it was just his unfamiliarity with human bodies. If Bill was actually speechless, pigs would be flying in no time. (not that Mabel would mind that!) "That does look quite a bit like me, I must say." He handed the doodle wordlessly to the shaking teen, who instantly crumpled it up.
"NO NOO NOOO NOOOO NOOOOO." He chanted, but stopped abruptly when Bill squeezed his hand. "I-I mean-"
"You're a lovely artist, Pine- Er... Dipper." His praise was awkward and cringe-worthy, but it made the gesture even more affectionate. Empty compliments were far easier to tell than true ones.
Dipper's voice was cracked and broken. "Thanks." He replied quickly.
Dipper's parents just stared blankly. Stan was the first to break the silence.
"So, how long have... you guys been happening?" He asked stiffly, hands playing with the now empty mug in his hands.
Dipper waited for Bill to reply, but the demon just looked at him expectantly. "Oh! Ah, hah, um..." He had no idea what to say. How would he even address Bill?
There was no way he'd call him anything more loving than that.
"William, what would you say?" He asked quickly, earning a shocked look from the man beside him.
"Me? Ah, yes, there is only one William here after all, right? Heh... Well, a few years?" He chocked on his own words. "Maybe?" Dipper cringed. Well, at least he was being just as awkward as himself.
"You mean you didn't even mark down your anniversary? Boo." Mabel was now in the lounge, five younger cousins crowded around her. "So, Dip, dating behind my back? Y'know, I could've given you a LOT of advice!" She looked just as hurt as she was excited, a mix of emotions only Mabel herself could express effectively.
"Meh. Who needs anniversaries? Why pick one day to spend with your special someone when you can spend all of them together?" Mabel looked like she'd get a nosebleed right then and there.
"Oh. my. GOD. You guys are so cute! Hey Dip, maybe you didn't need my help after all, eh?" One of the kids pulled on her sweater, pleading with her to go play some more. "Oop, gotta run. Literally. I'M IT, YA LITTLE GREMLINS!" The kids ran out of the room screaming with laughter, Mabel right behind them. Stan smiled silently at the old nickname.
"Well, William, how'd you meet our little Dipping Sauce? Maybe we can try and figure out your anniversary if you can recall the day?" The twins' aunt piped up, taking a long sip from her hot chocolate.
Dipper was starting to get into it. "Oh, I remember it clear as day- We were in Gravity Falls, in fact, which is why I've been drawing and writing about him so much. We don't write often, and he has no internet deep in the forest, so I miss him quite a bit."
Bill smiled approvingly, elaborating. "Yes, we both happened to be in the woods at the time- Lil' Dippy here had his nose buried in some book, as was I. If we hadn't crashed into each other, we'd have hit a tree!"
"Not that I hadn't, technically speaking." The demon shot Dipper a look, earning an amused snort. "Anyway, after we hit each other we talked for a bit. You might even say..." Another glance at Dipper. "We hit on each other."
His lame wordplay earned another giggle from the teen, along with a handful of groans from the rest of the family. "Ouch, tough crowd. Where was I? Ah, yes. So we talked for a bit, and arranged another get together for the next day. From then on, we started meeting in the same spot, almost daily." He nudged Dipper's foot with his own, signalling his turn.
he didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, I guess that's the gist of it. Slowly, I found myself falling for him- But considering my crush on Wendy, it was a bit of a..."
His smile widened, and he shot a sly glance at Bill.
"Love triangle." He laughed at his family's confusion, and Bill tried to hold back a chuckle.
Recovering from his own sad pun, he continued. "But after Wendy told me off, there wasn't much competition. After that, it was a blur-"
"-And I saw how much he liked me. So I started to feel the same." Bill shot him a you-aren't-making-me-the-desperate-one look, and it made him wonder if it was even possible to fit so much information into one simple glare. (with one eye, no less!)
Stan nodded. "So, you liked Wendy, and now you're with this guy? Since when were you bi?" Dipper wanted to say 'since never', but he couldn't.
He tried to tell himself it was because of Bill's threat, but deep inside... Was it true?
Quiet returned to the room and the demon elbowed him. "Since I met Bill, I guess." He sputtered, hating the silence.
The senior seemed to be too tired to give any reaction. "Well, I'm off to bed. 'Night, kids. 'Night, Dip." He trudged upstairs, and a door slammed.
"Well." Bill spat, pretending to be offended. "He forgot me."
Before they knew it, the rest of the family had gone to bed. Mabel was the last to say good night, leaving them alone in the lounge.
"So, kid. Was that really so hard?" Bill started, finally releasing the teen's sweaty hand. Their faces were equal shades of red, making the whole situation a tad easier for Dipper.
"Yeah. Pretty frustrating to pretend to be a demon's boyfriend, and, even worse, lie in front of my whole family."Dipper sighed, just relieved it was over. "Why did you even want to do that? Considering you threatened to hurt my fucking family, you better have good reason!"
Bill tilted his head in thought. "I guess I should look like you're about to explode." The man drawled, and the teen nodded excitedly. "Eager, I see. Well, let's get some eggnog and we'll talk. It's been a long while since I used this old body, and it needs to be hydrated."
Dipper winced at the reminder that Bill was really just a floating Dorito. "Is this one yours, or are you possessing someone?" The demon rolled his eyes, waltzing over to the kitchen.
"Mine, in case the floating earlier didn't entail. It took a while to make it, but hey- I'm a miracle worker, and Christmas is all about that!" He sang, opening the fridge. He reached his arm inside and pulled out a jug filled to the brim with eggnog."Speaking of Christmas, I'm staying here a bit. I want to see Pine Tree decorate a pine tree!" The teen rolled his eyes.
"Got the cups!" Dipper grinned as Bill poured them each a glass. They sat at the counter, clinking their glasses together before they downed the drinks.
The demon leaned closer to the boy and licked his lips. Dipper tried to ignore him, but it was proving to be an impossible feat. "Bill, stop looking at me like that. Also, have you even heard of personal space?" He tried shuffling his chair away, but it only ended in Bill following him.
The man laughed knowingly. "Look up."
And he did.
Above them were two leaves of mistletoe hanging from a single silver thread.
The teen's chin was tipped back downwards, his whole head forced forward as the man pulled him into a kiss. Bill smirked into his partner's lips as Dipper hungrily kissed him back. After, he'd say he was just respecting the rules of Christmas, but Bill, knowing everything, would never believe him.
He almost whined when the demon pulled back, the taste of eggnog mixing with that of Bill's lips.
"So, Pine Tree." Bill started, the teasing grin returning to his face. "What did you write about me?"
Then please let me know!
Then please let me know!
Have an idea/request!
Then please let me know!