Alrighty everyone so here is my new story. It's gonna be quite a bit different than my last ones. This is all human and it's tragic. Kinda throwing the first chapter up to see what you all think and see if you want me to continue or not. So read, hit me up, let me know.
I own nothing, all characters belong to Cassandra Claire, I just enjoying putting her characters in different scenarios for my own kicks.
"Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to beAnd I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neckAnd I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again"
Mumford and Sons-The Cave
Even with her eyes closed she could still see the pulsing of the lights through her lids. The music pounded loudly around her shaking her body, forcing her to move in time with the beats. This was the time she looked forward to each week, each day planned around how many days until Wednesday, because Wednesday was club day.
Clary kept her eyes closed and let her body swivel and sway with the music. This was the only time when she truly felt alive anymore, and that was why Wednesdays were so important. She felt someone come up from behind her sliding their hands around her tiny waist pulling her up against them. Clary kept her eyes closed, she wasn't alarmed. It was clearly a male up against her; she could feel the rough material of denim scratching against her ass which was barely covered by the short plaid shirt she wore. He was probably of about average height as he still towered far above her, even when she was wearing her highest of heeled boots.
Clary wiggled her ass against her partner; feeling a hard bulge at the small of her back. She smiled to herself, pleased she was affecting him. The music did not stop but she could tell by the different thud, thud, pattern that one song had shifted to another. Clary opened her eyes and the scene around her was the same as she expected, a hazy darkness broken only by the flickering of random colors. The air was thick with all the bodies slinking and swaying around the dance floor, sweating and grinding against their partners.
She looked off to the side of the dance floor where she knew her friends would be standing, watching her. They usually didn't dance often, but they were always close-by, watching her and protecting her. Clary called them her men as there was only one other female in the group. Clary had only been a real part of the group for about a month, but she had known the other female for years.
Izzy, the other female, had been friends with Clary in High School. Izzy was a few years older than Clary but was placed in the same class because she had not taken school as seriously as Clary had. Clary had always been a bit of a loaner, having only a tight group of friends and perfectly content with that, but something about Izzy seeped into Clary and they quickly became very close friends. Izzy had graduated the year that Clary had moved away and they lost contact for two years. Clary moved on with her life and Izzy had done the same. It's a strange thing about life though, it has a way of circling back and Clary had found Izzy again, just when she had needed someone.
Izzy had taken her in like nothing had ever happened, and Clary even moved in with her. Izzy introduced Clary to her group of friends; she had called them her men, so that was what Clary called them as well. Within a short period of time Clary had become the center of the group, maybe it was because she was new, or maybe it was just something about her personality, but as she looked off to the side of the club, her men were standing there watching her intently.
For the first time Clary looked back to whomever was dancing with her. He was someone that Clary had seen around the club before, but she didn't know his name. He had short dark hair and caramel colored skin. He wasn't bad looking but Clary wasn't really interested either, she had this weird sort of thing for blondes. Clary stopped dancing and so did the man who was holding her. She thanked him shyly and ducked under him arms and went quickly over to where her friends were watching with possessive eyes. She had been accused of being a cock tease a few times in the past recent months, but that really wasn't her intention. She wasn't sure what she was doing but the only thing she knew is that she couldn't be what she had been. Clary needed to find a new identity for herself and that's exactly what she had spent the past few months doing.
The music was loud in her ears which made talking nearly impossible unless you were shouting directly in someone's ear. Clary put two fingers up to her mouth, tapping her lips lightly and the men shook their heads. Clary headed for the front door of the club, knowing that her men were right behind her. She stepped out and moved to the side of the building, stopping and turning to wait for her entourage. She leaned back against the hard brick, bringing one leg up to rest against the bricks while balancing on her other heel. Her blonde friend settled in front of her, his golden eyes shining and he reached inside his leather jacket and produced a cigarette. It was just what Clary was waiting for. He brought the stick up to his lips and lit the lighter, dragging in the air expertly. Clary watched the end glow red with his inhale. Jace took the cigarette from his lips and handed it over to Clary who took an eager inhale as Jace slowly exhaled the smoke from his lungs with a smirk.
"What's with letting Mr. Suave getting all handsy with me?" Clary said with a teasing smile.
"Oh you loved every second of it; I could see your smile from the corner of the room." Jace said, taking the cigarette from between her fingers to have a puff of his own.
"Yeah but my eyes were closed. I didn't see what he looked like." Clary said watching the cigarette intently. She only shared when it came to Jace, and he didn't even smoke unless they were together. Clary suspected he just liked to put his mouth where hers had been, but he had never actually made a move toward her so she wasn't really sure.
His long blonde hair flowed around his face, it was always silky and smooth with the slightest waves. It was more of a golden blonde, like the sun at sunset which matched his golden eyes. He was attractive, Clary would have to be blind not to see that, but the problem was everyone else could see that too. Jace was always flirty with Clary, but she knew it made for a great friendship but who was she to compete for him when it really came down to it; she was a mess.
The only time she felt remotely ok with herself was during her weekly trips to the club. There was a reason she went on Wednesdays, it was a special day, it was goth night. Clary wasn't really gothic, or the rest of their friends, but that wasn't the point of goth night. It was a night where all the outcasts could meet without being met with judgment or ridicule. Clary used the day as her own personal Halloween, not costumes like you would think of, but she could be anyone other than herself. She knew that when she went out, her ruby red hair brushed and smoothed, dark makeup surrounding her eyes, and short revealing clothes, all eyes were on her. This was the one time she felt pretty, any other time she avoided mirrors like the plague.
Jace was with her every day, which meant even on days that she wasn't done up pretty. He knew what she really looked like; she wouldn't stand a chance against anyone else that Jace could get. She wasn't worth it, she was damaged beyond repair. She was grateful for his friendship, and she selfishly allowed herself to have that at least.
He handed the cigarette back, always adhering to the "puff, puff, pass" rule even though Clary was less considerate at times. Alec was standing behind Jace on his own section of the brick wall, he was one of the men, as well as Magnus. Alec is Jace's brother, younger than him by slightly less than a year not that you would be able to tell from looking at them. Alec was different than Jace in nearly every way, his hair was dark brown and cut short, and his eyes were a piercing blue. You wouldn't have been able to tell they were related at all unless you had seen their other brother, the youngest of the three: Max. Max was a strange mix of the two boys with darker hair but not as dark as Alec's and a golden hazel color eyes. He was 13 and the last of the siblings because their mother died during childbirth.
Alec never seemed to like Clary but he was always around with the rest of the men anyways. I guess you could say he was civil, but Clary could hang out with any of the others one-on-one at any time; except for Alec. He was talking to Magnus, it was impossible not to love Magnus. His entire attitude was different than most of the other men, he was exuberant and eccentric with an excessive love of glitter. Magnus was openly gay but never made anyone feel weird or uncomfortable.
It was still relatively early for the group, even though it was late enough for most reasonable people to already be in bed. But they were all just barely adults and for them the night was only getting started. Izzy was the only member of the group that didn't move with the group. She was the oldest, freshly 21, and she spent most of her time at the bar of the club flirting relentlessly with anyone that she deemed worthy.
Clary and Jace finished with their cigarette which meant it was time to go back inside. The music was just as loud and the beat very much the same, a hypnotic pulse that begged to be moved to. A wide grin flashed across Clary's face, this was home. Clary sauntered to the dance floor while the boys took up their positions along the side; it was like they were her own personal body guards. She moved her hips and ran her hands up and down the side of her body while she closed her eyes and let the music take her away. Clary had never used drugs before but she imagined this must be what it felt like to be high.
"CLARY!" She heard her name yelled and her eyes opened. In front of her was her friend, her roommate, her Izzy, and behind her was a relatively attractive male with his arms around her waist possesively. Izzy had been coming to this club for years before Clary was even old enough to get in. An entire section of her massive wardrobe was closed off to just goth night attire and tonight she was wearing one of her best. Her long black hair was half up and twisted around in the back giving her a halo of sharp black spikes. Her outfit was nearly identical to Clary's which was exactly the way she had planned except her skirt was black and green plaid to Clary's red. Izzy said they would both have better luck getting laid if they were matching than if not.
Clary wasn't sure why Izzy was always trying to get her laid. Clary wasn't really ready for a relationship, who was she kidding, she wasn't anywhere close to wanting to let a man back into her life. She had broken up with her fiancé only 6 months ago and she was still desperately trying to figure out who she was now that she was alone.
Clary was one of those people that had a string of bad luck that needed to be seen to be believed. In fact on more than one occasion she was accused of making things up for attention which really set her blood on fire. Why would anyone make up things so terrible? Sebastian had been one of those really terrible things that left Clary the puddle of mess she was now, not that she hadn't been a basket full of puppies on a Ferris wheel before.
"Nice choice." Clary said with a smile, she hadn't quit moving her hips with the sound of the music. Izzy was swaying and grinding her hips into her partner.
"So who are you bringing home tonight?" Izzy said with a smirk looking around to the potentials.
"Iz." Clary said with a sigh that was likely not even heard over the pounding of the music. "I told you I'm working on this thing with a guy at work." Clary yelled.
Izzy rolled her eyes. Clary cursed the fact that Izzy knew her so well. There really was a guy from work that was showing some potential, he was attractive, and nice, and seemed to worship the ground Clary walked on. He would be all too easy to get to have a relationship with her, there were just two problems. One: Clary really wasn't ready for a relationship. Two: he's a virgin, and Clary wasn't. It's not like she had slept around a bunch, she had only one notch to her belt, Sebastian. But Clary didn't think she would be able to sleep with a virgin when she wasn't even capable of loving right now. That wouldn't be fair, that's what happened to her and while her morals had slowly been leeched from her, she wouldn't be like him.
Maybe it was time for her to have some no-strings attached sex. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it. "Fuck it." Clary said to herself, she had been trying to find herself, maybe she was as depraved and moral less as everyone else.
"Just to make you happy." Clary yelled with a smile and Izzy knew the game was on.
"You know the rules." Izzy said with a sneer.
"Yeah, yeah, I get one pick and that's the one I have to get to come home with me for the night." Clary recited. Clary knew the rules very well, she had helped to make them, but she had never actually played before. Izzy very rarely lost her bet, but she also knew most of the men that frequented the bar. Clary looked around, her eyes landed first to Jace. If she was really honest with herself she knew that by far he was the hottest in the club. But he was in the not-allowed category; she wouldn't fuck up her closest friendship with a one-night stand.
Her eyes scanned the club, there really wasn't that many she would consider. Most of the good-looking ones seemed to already be attached to scantily dressed women. Clary looked back toward the entrance of the club and that was when she saw someone knew, well two someones. They were walking in together, clearly they knew each other. Both were attractive, but one caught really caught her eye. He was tall and blonde and looked to be very muscular. His hair was cut short and his shirt was stretched tightly across her chest. The other man that had walked in with was tanner in skin color with warm brown hair. Damn they were both hot, but Clary always had a soft spot for blondes but have never actually dated one before. Clary looked back to Izzy and they exchanged a smirk.
"That one." Clary said with a smile.
Clary closed her eyes and took in a deep calming breath. She had never done anything like this before, it was something she had always frowned upon. Her father had always taught her that she was a prize to be earned, not something just given away. She had spent her entire life believing that and trying to live up to his ridiculous expectations. She loved her father with all her heart, but it was his fault that she had chosen to go and live with Izzy after her and Sebastian split.
She tried to clear her mind of everything she had ever been told, everything that she had ever told herself she needed to be. She was going to put real effort into this. She was going to have her first one-night stand. Sex. Just sex. No emotions, no heart break, just fun casual sex. Clary exhaled deeply and then opened her eyes. Shit. Where did he go?
She scanned the crowed quickly. There was no way she was going to go down burning on her first time playing. Iz would never let her hear the end of it. Finally the white blonde hair served as a billboard alerting her to where Mr. Tall-Blonde-and-Built went but she was not expecting him to be where he was. He still had his friend nearby but he was also talking to a group, her group. He was talking to the men. Clary smiled like the Cheshire cat, fuck this is going to be too easy, she thought to herself.
Clary stopped dancing and sauntered over to the men. Jace was in deep conversation with Clary's target but stopped talking and smiled at Clary when he noticed her approaching.
"Who's your friends?" Clary asked while settling in beside Jace with her back against the wall. She was facing the newest members now and beamed at her great choice. He was even better looking up close than he was from a distance. He was just as good-looking as Jace, just in a completely different way.
His hair was cut short but still long enough to slide your fingers through and hold on tight. He stood taller than Jace which meant even with her heels Clary barely came up to his chin. It looked like he must either work out or he did some kind of physical labor work because his muscles were right out of an Abercrombie insert. It was hard to tell the color of his eyes due to the darkness of the club but they looked almost black. It was a striking contrast to his otherwise light features. Then Clary's eyes flitted down to his lips, and there was her prize. A single shining silver ring dead in the middle of his lip. Clary licked her lips and bit the lower one lightly.
Clary jumped back into reality as the lips parted. It took her brain a second to catch up. "Hi Clary, it's nice to meet you." The lips has said and then smiled. Even his teeth were straight and white and perfect.
"Hi." Clary said back quickly. Great she was looking like an utter moron. Not a great way to get a one night stand. Maybe she already blew it with this one. She looked over to the other guy, he was smiling and checking her out. At least she didn't lose it with him if she really needed to, she could probably land that. Shit, she didn't catch any of their names. She would look stupid trying to ask again now.
Stop it. She mentally scolded herself. You're acting like an idiot. You are better than his. Better than what he made you. You are anything you want to be. You can have anything you want to have. You picked the blonde, now get the blonde.
Clary took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She didn't think she was attractive but she knew guys thought she was hot. She didn't need to know his name to make him come drooling after her. She didn't need to be a stupid bimbo, she would make him crawl to her on his hands and knees. She'd make him want her with ever fiber of his being and she would take from him what she needed and then move on. That was the only way she would get her "power" back, the one that was taken from her. The only way to get power is by taking it, it wasn't earned or given, it was taken, and she needed some back.
Clary smiled and looked both boys up and down, she made sure they watched her doing it. She couldn't be her anymore, she was weak and she refused to be weak anymore. She would just have to pretend, pretend until it was real. She smiled again while making eye contact with the blonde. She allowed just a moment where their eyes locked in a stare, she was daring him.
Her eyes flicked away quickly, not out of shame or surrender. She had challenged him with a look, and she hoped he got it. She turned to Jace and put her hand flat on his chest. Even with her heels on she needed to stretch on the tips of her toes to reach his ear.
"Wanna make sure I don't get groped again?" She asked in her sweetest voice. She pulled back lightly to look in his eyes. They had become rather good at talking through looks and his eyes had darkened, almost predatory. Good, she needed him in a protective mood.
Clary nodded slightly then rocked back onto her heels and turned back into the crowd and made her way further into the center of the dance floor. Normally she stayed near the back, back where she could be watched by her men while they stayed against the wall. Where she was standing now she couldn't even see the wall through the mass of bodies which meant Jace would have to follow her onto the floor if he wanted to keep her safe.
Clary should have been scared being all alone without her guard looking on. She should have gone back to safety. But so much had already been taken from her. She had suffered and lost so much. She found she wasn't afraid. She wasn't nervous or happy or anything else. She had been like this for months. She didn't feel anything anymore; there wasn't anything left to be taken.
Clary closed her eyes and let the pounding of the music fill her head and guide her body. When she had first started to come to the club it was little more than just noise, but now she was beginning to learn the songs and know exactly when to sway or when to drop her ass to the floor. Before this she had never really danced and didn't know if she even could. Clary was no longer afraid of looking dumb, afraid of all the bad that could happen. Clary just wanted to feel something other than the complete emptiness that filled her when she tried to feel; so instead she just felt the pounding of the bass.
It wasn't long until a set of arms wrapped around her tightly, a body pressed against hers. There was comfort in drawing warmth from another, feeling wanted when you no longer wanted yourself. She felt a tickle against her neck and the brush of breath against her ear.
"You could have waited for me." Jace said, grabbing her hips and pulling her against him.
Clary sighed in relief, she hadn't been frightened but Jace was home and there was always something so satisfying about being home. They didn't say any more, they just moved together in time with the music. He really was an excellent dancer and Clary didn't understand why he never wanted to get on the floor. There were always plenty of other girls trying to get his attention but he never seemed interested. Maybe he wasn't into the whole "goth" thing and came just to keep Clary and Izzy safe. He had never even gone out to the club with Izzy before Clary had come along.
Clary opened her eyes and danced in a circle, turning so she was facing Jace. His long shaggy hair was plastered to his forehead as the heat from all the bodies pressed so closely together amped up his body temperature making him sweat. Clary wrapped her arms around his neck and his went around her waist pulling her closely to him, lined up hip to hip. Clary put her chin on his shoulder and inhaled deeply, Jace's touch was home but so was his smell. It was a manly scent that smelled like copper and sawdust. It was earthy and rich and spoke of protection and safety.
Clary peeked beyond Jace's shoulder and saw the blonde guy standing and talking with his tan friend. They looked incredibly out of place; standing in the middle of the dance floor but unmoving to the sounds of the music. Clary locked gaze with the blonde one again and he looked away quickly as if he hadn't been watching her the entire time. Like shooting fish in a barrel, Clary thought.
The song morphed and Clary pulled back from Jace and pressed her two fingers to her lips. Jace released his grip and allowed Clary to lead the way back out of the club. She knew her men would follow as she walked past their perched spot. She knew the two new members would follow her too.
Clary inhaled deeply as the chilled outside air hit her face. It had been too hot inside, but there was something comforting about the heat. Like a child wrapping itself in a blanket when they are scared. Sometimes being smothered was better than the cold emptiness of being alone and afraid. But the air outside was refreshing and much quieter than inside. If she wanted to make progress with the blonde it would need to be somewhere that she could hear him.
Clary set up on the wall and before she needed to ask a lit cigarette was placed in her fingers. She looked around while taking her first hit, her men had followed as she had known but so had the newcomers. They were already following in toe like puppies. The tan one began to talk to Jace; Jordan was his name Clary soon found out. The blonde one was quieter, but was a part of the conversation slightly.
Jace and Jordan apparently knew each other for years. They had gone to school together and now they did not see each other often. They lived in opposite sides of the city and Jordan apparently didn't get out too much, he had a baby at home. Well it seemed like him and the mother weren't together but he wanted to be a part of his son's life. The club happened to be relatively close to where Jordan was living so he was all too happy to get out of the house and get to see some of his old friends again.
Clary saw an opportunity, Jace and Jordan were busy catching up and while the blonde one was standing as part of the small circle but wasn't actively talking either. Clary passed the cigarette to Jace and took her foot off the wall. She moved forward a step and sized the blonde man up. It was better lit outside under the street lights and there was no mistaking it, this guy was the epitome of attractive.
"So you're a friend of Jordan, or you just like hanging out with random people?" Clary asked with an edge to her voice. If she wasn't going to be herself, she might as well be a bitch.
The blonde smirked down to her and visibly checked her out. Clary was happy that her shirt was low cut and being short gave tall guys a distinct vantage point that couldn't hurt her chances. Her boobs weren't exactly large, not like Izzy's, but they were a handful and perky and she used them as she could.
"I guess meeting new people isn't too bad when they look like you." He said with an air of challenge.
It had been a long time since Clary had flirted, and she had never really needed to before she became….this. She resorted back to bitch mode, it was the easiest; she had seen girls do it a thousand times over. "Oh so you are one of those creepy guys. Anyone ever tell you that creep isn't attractive, it's fucking annoying."
He looked a little taken aback, but only for a second, a second was all it took for him to regain his composure. Clary had seen that look before, it was a predatory look. She had just given him a challenge, and men like that want most what they can't have. She should have been afraid; she knew what guys like that were capable of. But Clary wasn't afraid; if she wanted it too maybe it wouldn't crush her this time.
Clary gave him a smirk, just a small little one. Then turned back to Jace and took the last of the cigarette and inhaled deeply filling her tiny little lungs completely. Jace was looking to her expectantly. Clary tossed the butt to the ground and Jace stepped on it for her. He knew it was harder for her to do in her heels. Without another word she turned and walked back into the club.
She didn't even pause but went straight for her normal spot. Her spot where the men could watch from the walls, a spot where Jace didn't need to dance with her. Clary through everything into her next dance, every seductive and sexy move that she could think of. No one ever came and joined her but she had a line of admirers and she could tell by their uncomfortable adjustment's their pants were becoming snug. Clary spent the rest of the night on the dance floor, toying and teasing, making sure they all were so ready to go no one would object to her next suggestion.
Izzy found her way back to Clary as the last song of the night began to play. The lights had come back on and the club was beginning to clear out. Izzy had the same man that had danced with her earlier in tow, Izzy had gotten hers and she looked to Clary with a cocked eyebrow wondering why she was dancing alone. Clary gave her a knowing smile, a smile that told her friend not to worry.
Clary went over to the wall. Jace had gotten her coat and put it on her with care; he had her car keys in his pocket since Clary didn't really have pockets in her outfit. The normal plan was everyone went back to Clary and Izzy's house, they would smash on Taco Bell and then Magnus and Alec would walk back to their own houses on the same street. Jace always stayed with Clary on Wednesday's and always in her bed. He didn't know that tonight would be different, Clary hoped he would understand.
"So everyone back to the house tonight?" Clary asked looking to Jordan and the blonde in particular.
"I don't know." Jordan said looking away from Clary. "I'm supposed to pick up my son tomorrow…" He trailed off.
Clary looked to the blonde, "What about you? Want to come back to my house tonight?"
The blonde gave a smile, "Sounds like fun." He said and produced his own set of keys. "I'll follow you."
Clary beamed and headed for the door. Clary was always the driver, and everyone barely fit in her tiny Dodge Neon, but there was just enough room when Izzy sat in back on the lap of her new friend. Clary just hoped he could find his own ride home tomorrow; she didn't want to play chauffeur on her one real day off.
"So what's with inviting Jonathan over?" Jace said as she pulled onto the highway.
Jonathan? That must be his name. Clary thought. She would have to try to remember that, or not. "I don't know, I thought he was your friend." Clary said as if it was obvious.
"We went to high school together. He's alright. We didn't always get along. He was always so much closer with Jordan than with me." Jace said, it sounded like there was a lot more that Jace wasn't saying.
Clary just shrugged her shoulders and went back to focusing on driving. So what if this guy had a past or if he wasn't that decent. It really wouldn't surprise Clary, but it didn't really matter anyways. Not for what she wanted to use him for.