This is the prequel to All They Wanted to Say. It helps explain kind of what happened with them to end up where they were.

Disclaimer: All right go to Cassandra Clare. Oh, and the poem, I found on Instagram. It was written by someone with the initials R.C. And I felt it fit the story, so...yeah.


She asks you to fix her broken body, as if you are her saviour, instead of goodnight kisses, she asks you to stay, to never leave, she tells you she loves, but it feels like she resents you. Why else would you feel like pieces of you are chipping away?


He is painful, he is anesthesia, you think he is the beginning of you, the end of you, the limbo between love and hate, the gray between black and white. He is everything, and you want him to be nothing.


Her breathe spills onto you like a tidal wave, it tastes like lovers forgotten, it tastes like tendencies to kiss and fade away, it tastes like questions with no answers.

~three types of lovers~


She knows one day he'll leave her, she just didn't expect it to be today.

He never expects to have to leave her, and he never did. Have to, that is.

She thought it wouldn't end like this.

He thought it would never end.

She imagined them yelling at each other, and him leaving in a quiet fury.

He imagined if it ever did end, it'd just be that. It'd just be over.

Or maybe, possibly, she would be the one to leave, not him. She would not leave quietly.

Or maybe, possibly, they'd fight. But it wasn't likely.

According to her, he was out too much, and how was that her fault?

According to him, she was never home when he was, and how was that his fault?

There was yelling, in the end.

But in the beginning, it was all quiet, angry whispers, and harsh glances.

And after all of that, their last kiss.

And he tasted of cigarettes, and other girls, and he tasted of him forgetting her.

And she knew that he'd been calling them beautiful with the same smile he once used on her.

And she remembers when she was once broken, and he was her saviour.

And when he was everything to her, way back when.

But before the kiss, they yelled, and they screamed, and they woke up the neighbours downstairs.

He called her a bitch, and she called him an asshat.

He laughed at that, and it was almost like when they first met.

She smiles, just for one moment, until she remembers where they are.

And then her smile fades, and she pushes him, hard.

He falls back against the wall with a thud. He wasn't expecting it.

If he had been, what with her being so little, nothing would've happened.

For a second there, she was smiling, and he was laughing, and he had hoped that maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay.

For a second there, he was laughing, and she was smiling, but she knew it would never be the same. Even if it could be fixed.

In the end, he was the one to leave, and she the one to stay.

Neither of them went to the others to collect their things.

Out of nostalgia, they kept the others belongings.

She even slept in his shirts sometimes.

But it really was the end this time.

It wasn't just some stupid fight where someone would storm out, and then eventually come back, and they'd forget it ever happened.

No, this was the real deal.

They were over.


Hehe. I hope so.

Again this was unbetaed, so I hope it's correct in things.

Also, I just watched If I Stay for the second time, and I also just finished reading it. So now I have the soundtrack on repeat on YouTube. It's perfect. and favourite, please! Let me know if you want more of this story, or if you have ideas for another story, or whatever.

Love you,