A/N: Most of my writing tends to be for the Psych fandom, but since Psych has been over for a while now... Well, I thought it might be time for me to test the waters in another fandom. Especially since I've been dying to do some fictional writing (essays just aren't the same). And I also thought the Grimm archive could use more stories :)
This is my first foray into the Grimm universe. Right now, I'm really just testing the waters. I wanted to do it before the season premiere, but I just didn't have the time. Anyway, this fic is just a little one-shot about what Nick was thinking pretty much right between the Season 3 finale and the Season 4 premiere. It's not completely accurate to the show now (duh) but it's just something I had on my mind that I wanted to share.
For a moment, just after everyone got in the car, Nick Burkhardt couldn't breathe. Time had slowed until it eventually came to a complete halt. He didn't hear what the others were saying, the beat of his own pulse in his ears was too loud. Even if he wanted to listen to their futile condolences and reassurances he couldn't even begin to comprehend the words. So he made noncommittal noises at the appropriate intervals instead.
What was happening to him, to his life? First his aunt dies and he is suddenly overcome by strange visions of even stranger creatures, now, just after getting used to seeing Wesen, his extra sight is stripped from him? Strange as it may be, Nick had come to value his newfound power. He might even go so far as to say he loved the oftentimes strange and unofficial job that came with that power almost as much as his real career. There was just something so right about it. It was in his blood, he was meant to find, track, and take down Wesen. Of course, not like his ancestors did. No, he tried to avoid beheading Wesen when he could, preferring to just arrest them if he could. He couldn't fully explain how he felt about his Grimm abilities, there was still so much he didn't know about them, about being a Grimm. What he did know was that the whole Grimm thing, being able to see Wesen and developing heightened senses, felt like a piece of a puzzle that he hadn't known was missing until it was gone. He had slowly come to realize that his Grimm heritage was an integral part of who he was.
And now it was gone.
He couldn't believe he hand't felt it when it happened; because now, knowing that the thing that made him a Grimm was gone, he felt it like a deep, throbbing ache in his chest that just wouldn't go away. It was a constant reminder of the absence of a crucial sense, his sixth sense so to speak.
He could feel Trubel's eyes on him. She was watching him, studying him. He suddenly felt naked under the scrutiny of her concerned gaze. He decided to ignore her staring as well as the uncomfortable feeling it evoked in him as best he could, knowing that if he looked at her right then that he wouldn't be able to control the feelings of envy he was experiencing toward her. He knew the feelings were irrational, and he was more than a little ashamed of the intensity of his jealousy. After all, her life had only just come together after a lifetime of thinking she was crazy. He was supposed to be able to teach her about the Wesen world and what she was truly capable of. And now his life was falling apart; she could see everything that he couldn't. How was any of that situation fair to either of them?
If it wasn't bad enough that he was effectively crippled when it came to dealing with the Wesen world and guiding Trubel in her role as a Grimm, he had also cheated on the love of his life. To top it all off, he hadn't even been aware that he was having an affair! And with Adalind Schade of all people! From the way Juliette had acted toward him earlier in the day, he wouldn't be surprised to find that she hated him. He had betrayed her, albeit unknowingly. He couldn't help but think that not only had he lost whatever it was that made him a Grimm, but he had lost Juliette in the process. Two losses in one fell swoop. It was enough to make him feel as though his whole life was tearing apart at the seams.
Nick closed his eyes and sucked in a quick breath; he didn't want to think about that too much. He couldn't think about it too much. Even in the brief moments that the thoughts crossed his mind, he had felt unimaginably heart-wrenching pain. It was still too fresh, and far too much, for him to deal with at the moment.
Still, he couldn't keep from wondering… Who was he now? He wasn't a Grimm anymore, that much was clear. He was still a cop, although considering his recent past it would appear that he was edging into vigilante territory. Now he didn't even have a reason for doing some of the shadier things he'd done.
And what would he do if he faced another Wesen in his newly vulnerable condition? He would be at an obvious disadvantage right from the start, even with his police training. He'd be especially weak without his heightened hearing and unnaturally quick reflexes, which he had spent a lot of time trying to perfect.
More importantly, where did he stand with Rosalee and Monroe now that he was no longer privy to their secret world? What about his tenuous relationship with Captain Renard, assuming he pulled through? And the Eisbiber lodge? The Royals? There were just so many unanswered questions. Questions with answers that he had no idea how to obtain.
Nick Burkhardt's life had suddenly and unexpectedly become much more tumultuous and dramatic than it had ever been before. It had also become exponentially more dangerous. The rational thing for him to do at this point, probably the only thing for him to do, would be to try to be patient and let it play out for a while.
But, then again, Nick had never really been the passive type.
Please let me know what you thought! I might decide to write more Grimm fics in the future. Here's a warning though: If I do decide to write more for Grimm, they will most definitely be Nick!Whump stories. Yep, I'm one of those people that just can't resist my favorite character's suffering :)
Quick note: I'm sorry for any and all typos and errors. I am especially sorry if you think that I misrepresented Nick or any of the other characters. I'm still trying to get a feel for them, which is partly why I decided to write this piece.