Tsunade squinted at the blurry, microscopic text in her book. It wasn't usually this fuzzy, but the alcohol had begun to mess with her mind and what was supposed to have initially been a few minutes of studying up on charka cuffs had stretched into a forty minute drinking session with occasional glancing at the book. Even though the sake worked in making the time fly, she hadn't gained much insight into the ways to break permanent charka bonds. It was definitely a handy little trick to know, but it was amazing how difficult it had been to find at first. Damn Ibiki for bothering her with such a trivial thing.
She wrinkled her nose and tipped the rim of the sake cup to her lips, believing in her drunken state of mind that having another drink would somehow spite him. Yes…she could almost picture him there. Tearing up. Begging her to stop drinking. 'Please Tsunade! You won't find happiness at the bottom of a sake glass!' HA! Another sip. Of course the real Ibiki probably wouldn't have given a damn what she did, but she didn't have to know that.
Tsunade's gaze fell back on the text and she sighed. She skimmed the pages through half lidded eyes, not recognizing any of the words except a few red and bolded, 'BEWARE's and some 'WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO…'
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" The Hokage muttered under her breath, flipping over to the next page where almost the entire bottom half was covered in more bold red, warnings. Tired, bored, and much to confident in her own ability, she violently shoved the book away from her and scowled. "I don't need to read this damn book." She had the basic idea of what to do anyway. All she needed was someone to test it out on. Tsunade laced her fingers beneath her chin and stared hard at the double doors that faced her desk.
'If you glare hard enough', the sake in her brain whispered, 'they will come…'
There was a soft knock at the door.
Tsunade's head perked expectantly, "Come in!" She grinned like a wild cat as she waited for her guinea pig to make their entrance. The door quietly parted enough to let a familiar, tanned chuunin awkwardly slip into the room. 'Awkwardly' because he was desperately trying not to drop the heavy stack of papers loaded in his arms. She couldn't see his face at first but soon recognized him by the spiky, brown ponytail he wore when he turned around to close the door. It took a couple seconds of juggling around the precarious stacked papers before he could finally free his hand just enough to shut the door properly. Once he did he turned around and straightened up.
Now Tsunade could finally see the pair of warm, chestnut-colored eyes that met hers just above the mountain of paperwork.
"Um, Excuse me Hokage-sama, but these are-"
"Iruka-sensei!" the Hokage said in a tone much too sweet to pass for believable to anyone that had ever known the woman. "Just the chuunin I wanted to see!"
Iruka sensed something bad was about to happen. He didn't have too much time to give it further thought, though, because soon the dangerously high stack of papers began to sway to the right. He hurriedly shifted the brunt of the weight to the left to try and balance them back out again, unwilling to let the fruit of ten hours worth of labor go down so easily. Once he got the papers to tilt more to the left, they began to tilt more to the left. And more. Annnnd more.
"Nonononono!" The chuunin quickly propped his left arm a little higher and danced around in order to get the stack of papers back to their original position. Tsunade watched blankly until he was finally standing still again. When that moment came, he breathed out a sigh of relief and let a satisfied smile wash over his mouth.
The door behind him suddenly swung open and slammed into the chuunin's back hard enough to send him stumbling. Iruka gasped loudly as the papers flew out of his hands and began to rain over the office. Most of the papers had not yet even settled on the ground before Kakashi casually strolled in without missing a beat and paused before the Hokage's desk.
"Tsunade, I think the vending machine is broken," the silver haired jounin stated with grave seriousness. He pointed a thumb over his shoulder. Beyond the now open double doors a few uniformed ninja huddled around the candy vending machine, quietly discussing this problem while thoughtfully rubbing their chins as if thoroughly vexed. Guy was the only one who stood out in his green spandex and looking near hysterical.
"CANDY IS THE FOOD OF YOUTH!"
He grabbed a passing chuunin and violently shook him by the shoulders, tears streaming.
"THE FOOD OF YOUTHHH!"
"I'm sorry, man! Let me go!"
Tsunade was too inebriated to care. Then again, even sober, she probably wouldn't have cared.
"There's nothing I can do about it right now, Hatake." Tsunade answered, wearily rubbing her temple as she watched the vending machine issue collect more worried gatherers in the background.
Iruka had been standing in the same position he had been for the past thirty seconds: jaw slack, hands shaking, wide eyes staring at the carpet of papers in horror. He would have probably remained like that for a few more minutes, but just the sound of Kakashi's voice had him bristling with barely restrained anger. He clenched his teeth hard enough to make his dentist sob and tightened his hands into fists on either side of him. The same pair of brown eyes that seemed to perpetually exert warmth and patience darkened with rage. When the chuunin finally looked up he looked completely possessed, the heat of his fiery glare could have burned the hairs on the back of Kakashi's neck.
Kakashi winced and touched the back of his neck. "Ow! What was that?!"
"Kakashi!" Iruka angrily shouted.
Kakashi glanced over to the chuunin standing near the door in a manner that suggested he had just noticed the other man.
"Iruka-sensei…" Kakashi greeted in murmur.
Tsunade sighed and rolled her eyes. Keeping these two in the room was like mixing nitrogen and…uh. Something…flammable…or something. Before she could dismiss Kakashi, Iruka had stomped in front of the man assumed the dreaded school teacher stance.
Kakashi's eye twitched as he realized what was coming at him. Damnit, this man loved to lecture. He hadn't said three words to the chuunin and already he was getting a lesson on civility, proper manners, and not barging in people's offices unannounced. He reflexively tuned out the younger man as he fished out his icha-icha paradise book from his pocket, parting weathered book to the last page he left off on.
"-And just what are you doing now!? I am talking to you Kakashi-sensei! How can you possibly have the audacity to read that smut not only in front of me, but in the eyes of our hokago?! Have you no shame?!"
Iruka pointed and accusing finger at the orange book, absorbed in his scorn while Kakashi simply stood with his hand propping his beloved book up, enraptured by the sex scene between the main character and the Swedish maid/secret agent.
Neither man heard the Hokage mutter something about 'being tired of this bullshit' or saw her walk around the desk and take position before them.
They even ignored her as her hands began to move in a few unfamiliar hand seals right before she grabbed them both their raised wrists.
Finally, the attention of both men was on her. Chakra quickly sprung up from her hands and encircled each wrist until it completed a band around each one. This chakra was strange, though. Its color was a dark, moody purple and it remained there even after Tsunade released them both.
Both men stared at their wrists for a few confused seconds as the Hokage slowly retreated to her desk. Kakashi blinked then sharply yanked his hand away from chuunin's. To Iruka's surprise, he followed by the arm, his nose suddenly buried into the jounin's uniform vest. Iruka reddened immediately, growled and put his hands between them to give Kakashi a hard shove away from him. It caused the jounin to stumble back until the back of his legs bumped into a chair, grabbing it just in time before he could fall. A thin, purple chakra line was stretched out taut between them. They glared at each other, then at the line.
"…Chakra cuffs?" Kakashi's brow arched.
Iruka joined Kakashi in staring at the nodding Hokage.
"Nothing gets by you, huh Hatake?" Tsunade smirked down at the book she was flipping through. Iruka opened his mouth to speak but the woman silenced him by raising her palm up.
"Don't get your panties in a twist, girls. I just need someone to test this thing on," she said, leaving her desk to approach them once more. "What I just did was create a permanent chakra cuff. It's an old jutsu that was buried in the past until very recently. A few rogue ninjas showed that they got ahold of it and used against our shinobi. Our ninjas had no idea how to release the jutsu and ended up in…some…awkward positions." Iruka wasn't sure if that was a embarrassed blush that crept over Tsunade's cheeks because she quickly look away and continued on. "Anyway, it doesn't sound like much, right? It's actually more annoying then dangerous. Either way, I already figured out the cure already, so relax and try not to move."
The blonde haired woman was in the process of rolling up her sleeves and getting ready to begin when Iruka's voice interrupted with a question.
"Wait," he held up a hand and furrowed his brow in confusion. "Why didn't you just test the technique on those ninjas instead? Why'd you try to rope someone else into this?"
"Because those people are already too embarrassed to leave their homes and I don't make house calls." She frowned, lips pursing at the thought of those poor, awkwardly contorted shinobi.
Iruka still looked unsure, but slowly nodded in understanding. He turned his head away and held out his wrist. Kakashi sighed and did the same.
Once she had both chakra cuffs in view she began to perform the proper hand seals just the way she'd memorized it from the book. At last, she confidently reached over to touch the dark bands. Her blue chakra quickly eneveloped the dark one, pulsing powerfully, but after two or three minutes, it seemed like that was all it was going to do. The dark chakra cuffs remained unresponsive to Tsunade's treatment.
"Something wrong?" Iruka asked with nervous eyes after what seemed like an eternity. His answer came when Tsunade dropped her hands away and let her chakra fade.
Tsunade crossed her arms over her large chest and stared quizzically at the dark chakra that surrounded each of their wrists. She pursed her lips. "It's not working…"
"What are you saying, Tsunade…?" Kakashi asked very slowly.
"I'm saying…" The Hokage answered, looking a bit nervous and smiling apologetically. "That…I always thought you two should spend some more time together...?"
Iruka felt his stomach clench with dread.
Spending time with Kakashi? The infamous perverted jounin?! The most infuriating person in Konoha?! The only man who turned in important mission reports scribbled in crayons, covered in food stains and lewd scribbles, and crumpled like he'd been practicing his half court shots with a wastebasket. Each report wet and dripping, reeking of some artificial fruity scent like he'd tried to fix it by spraying it with Febreze?! The guy who not only made a habit of pissing off people, but a mission of it? Being next to that guy for any longer than an hour always sent his blood pressure sky rocketing.
Iruka clutched his stomach weakly, feeling sick just by thinking of the headache of being next to Kakashi for more then five minutes was. He groaned and let his head droop forward, body trembling. Kakashi was still silent, but even he couldn't hide the disdain he felt from reflecting in his only visible eye. Before another word was uttered, Iruka went limp and dropped to the ground. Kakashi was already smirking behind his mask when he suddenly realized they were still attached and was forcibly dragged to the ground by the chuunin's weight.
Kakashi found Iruka to be a pleasant cushion when he was unconscious, but when those eyelids suddenly fluttered open, he knew all hell was about to break loose. Iruka blinked and stared at the man on top of him. Kakashi had seconds to live and spent them staring back at chuunin like a deer caught in headlights. He'd lifted himself up just slightly, arms acting as two pillars on either side of a flushed Iruka, his knees on the floor with the rest of the man in between them. Iruka narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to shout when Kotetsu wandered into the room through the open door followed by a gleeful-looking Izumo, both men still laughing over some joke they'd shared.
"Hey Tsunade, check out this sweet new camera I just got from-"
Both chuunin froze in their tracks and stared at the tangled lovers on the Hokage's floor.
Iruka and Kakashi stared back, too stunned to even move.
Somehow Kakashi found his voice first and reached out to them to stop.
"Wait a minute you guys, it's not what it-!"
"Kodak moment!" The chuunin squealed in unison, twin grins glowering across their faces as the camera came up and blinded the men on the floor with a white flash.
This was the first fanfic I ever wrote back in '10 or '09 and it was intended to be a very silly comedy/romance between Kakashi and Iruka with some delicious yaoi thrown in. I'm putting it back up on fanfic and trying whatever grammar mistakes I can. I'll fix as I post, so maybe we get through the whole first 7 chapters within 1 week or 2? I'll be working on finishing this story as well since the original didn't have an ending. This fic was ended to have 10-15 chapters and was on the lengthier side of my fanfics because I just had sooo much fun with it and was easier to write than The Interview or Fire Escape.
Anyway, enjoy the silliness ! =) -Trend