Inevitable

It was nights like these that he needed. Needed someone to talk to, needed someone to listen. Needed more than he could ever ask for.

Makoto sat up in his bed in his Tokyo apartment, crying, pretending he wasn't crying, which was hard because when Makoto Tachibana cried it was loud.

Nose running and everything.

He had called home to check up on things. How the twins were doing, how his parents were doing, how the little white cat was doing.

"About the cat, dear, it got run over by one of the neighbors. The twins and your dad buried it next to the goldfish."

Makoto, recalling his mother's words, bursts into fresh tears anew. The death of the animal had been unexpected, which was the worst part. No the worst part was the death of something so innocent and gentle.

Everything died. Perhaps that was why he was so torn up, not just by the death of the small animal, but what it represented. Life doesn't last forever, and just like the old fisherman, Haru's grandmother, Rin's dad, the cat, none of his friends and family would live forever.

He was silly to fixate on the unchangeable but it was true. He hated thinking of outliving his parents, having the twins mourn him after he himself was gone, seeing his friends go…

There's a knock on his door. This late at night, he doesn't really know what to expect. He scrubs away his tears and slinks tiredly to look through the peephole. When he sees who it is, he doesn't really believe it, and he wrenches the door open.

"Haru?"

"Your mom texted me. Told me. She figured you'd be sad."

"So…. You came over?" They didn't live that far apart, it was easy enough to take the subway to each other's houses, but doing this because he had lost a cat that wasn't even technically his….

"Come in, you uh must be cold." Makoto, both unbelievably touched, and very embarrassed watches as his friend calmly enters his apartment.

"Makoto."

"Ermm, yes, Haru? Are you hungry, or something, I can get you…"

"You're sad. Because you remembered the fisherman."

"What? Sorry Haru I don't know what you're…"

"I know because when I heard about the cat, I remembered too. And grandma. Death makes us think of what we've lost."

Damn him, being so perceptive.

"I… I guess you're right."

"You were good to the goldfish. And to the old man. And the cat. You are good to everyone who is in your life." Haru finishes this statement with a nod, as if he is approving of what he is saying, and Makoto feels a fresh tear leak out, and then another.

"I…. I keep thinking how I'll outlive my parents, and how Rei almost drowned." The way his voice quivers in pathetic, and he hates himself for a minute but then Haru is hugging him, which he rarely does to anyone, and he's warm and although it's awkward because he's a head shorter it's perfectly lovely. Makoto sort of rests his head on his shoulder, in the crook of his neck, and when his nose touches the skin, he feels goosebumps rise on Haru's neck, can smell chlorine and shampoo, and the moment is so… intimate for a moment, that if Haru wasn't holding on so tight he would have pulled away.

Haru pats his shoulder and pulls away, an uncharacteristic flush on his cheeks and he clears his throat.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Makoto says after a pause.

"Yeah. Movie."

Makoto twines their fingers together without thinking and they don't come apart until the film is over.

Death may be inevitable, but then again so was love.