"I really thought we'd make it" Oliver said, looking at Felicity. His eyes locked with hers, both mirroring the same expression. Felicity was on the brink of tears, swallowing hard, wishing she would hold it together.
When they decided to try and start a relationship about three months ago they both knew that it wasn't going to be an easy picnic. Oliver was a person with great responsibilities as the arrow, and with those great responsibilities came even greater risks.
By entering in a relationship with Oliver, Felicity knew that she'd be spending most of her nights worrying about him, hoping he'd be safe, that he'd come back to her. She didn't realize that in the back of his mind Oliver would be worrying about her just as much.
After endless long talks and heated discussions it was Oliver who said that it would be pointless not to act upon their feelings and that he was willing to take the risk. Oliver, usually being the one to list of all the reasons why they shouldn't, actually telling her he was willing to try,made Felicity's heart flutter, and eventually agree.
If only they both would have realized the big target that would be painted on Felicity's back the moment she became Oliver Queen's girlfriend. It could have spared both of them a world of pain.
"I still have faith we can" it was a statement, mend to persuade him to not give up on them. But since she was looking anywhere but at Oliver she was pretty sure the statement didn't sound as convincing as she would've liked.
Oliver swallowed "You know why we can't" he wished now more than ever that they'd could just go back to being the arrow and the IT-girl, separately. He needed them not to be them "You remember that speech I gave you, about not being able to be with someone I really cared about because of the life that I lead?"
"It feels like a lifetime ago since you said that" she whispered, casting her eyes towards him subtly. She regretted it the minute she saw the pain and agony in his eyes. Realizing she wasn't the only one hurting she took his hand and squeezed it.
Oliver looked at this beautiful somewhat broken girl in front of him. He feels the pain resonating from her and he can practically see the tears threatening to spill. Looking away for a moment, then turning his attention back on her, he says "Turns out, it's still true"
She knows he's right, she knows that what he's doing is called damage control, and it would be best if they'd both just quit while they're ahead and not get into any more emotional pain than they're obviously both are already in "It doesn't have to be"
"Felicity, I – "
He's trying to keep it together, for both of them, she can tell. She's going to have to come to terms with this, her mind knows, yet the words coming out of her mouth tell a different story "We can make this work, I promise I'll be more careful next time"
"There isn't going to be a next time, Felicity. It turns out you can't be Oliver Queen's girlfriend and be safe" he's trying so hard to get through to her. He needs her to understand that it's not a choice for him anymore. He has made up his mind. He needs his Felicity to be safe. And maybe he has no right calling her that but it's how he feels, it's how he'll always feel, together or not.
"Then I don't want to be safe" Felicity looks at him with so much determination that it takes everything in him to see this through. He knows she can be a little hot headed and stubborn at times, but this isn't one of the times he can let her win. If she wins, they both lose in the end.
"I need you to be safe, Felicity" determination laces his voice. He sees the exact moment she's accepting defeat etched on her face.
"No" Felicity pushes out, one last time. She knows it lacks conviction, but she had to try, one final plea.
"Felicity please. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But I can't. I can't loose you" The moment those words leave his mouth, her damn breaks. She shakes and sniffles, realization setting in that she's lost him before she actually truly had him "Funny how that works" she manages to crack out "You're losing me by not wanting to loose me"
"Fe – " He tries, but she cuts him off, saying "Not going to deny it hurts Oliver, It hurts like hell. But as much as I don't want too, I do understand" her watery smile shines through her tears "I take comfort in knowing you really care about me and that's why you're doing this"
His hands find hers, giving them a comforting squeeze. Taking one last final deep breath, she looks up, raises her hands up to his face locking their lips together for one final kiss. Then she turns around, walking away, not looking back once.
The moment he hears the closing of the door, his own resolve fades, feeling the tears stream down his face, he whispers into the empty room "I don't care about you Felicity, I love you"