Summary: Spike unknowingly interferes with a warlock's spell casting, which angers the sorcerer. He places a curse on Spike which causes the vampire to lose all memory of his life after being turned. Set somewhere in mid-season 5 before Spike admits his feelings for Buffy. And we know what Buffy thinks of Spike. And, by the way, Riley doesn't exist in this universe and Joyce isn't sick. Didn't want to have to deal with all of that.
A/N: As you can tell, I received a lot of responses to write a future chapter, an epilogue if you will. And thanks for that. I hope you enjoy. Please let me know if I did well; I tried something different that I haven't done before. Wrote in a first person perspective. I think you will figure out from whose!!!
Disclaimer: Everyone should bloody well know by now that I don't own even a smidgen of the rights to these delicious characters. The creator of BTVS does which is fine and dandy.
I can tell the sun is setting. I know it is cause I feel it. It's hard to describe the feeling. It's just a part of the whole vampire package; sort of my own internal alarm clock. I'm just gonna lay here a while longer and wait. I can't help but smile because I know. I know she will be here soon, very soon. She stops by every night at the same time. Has been for over four weeks now. At first her friends thought she was just overly enthusiastic about going on patrol. But, well, in a way I guess she was.
Four weeks ago. It was four weeks from today to be precise. That's when she had said it; when she told me she was ready. First time in a long time that I was speechless. Cause you know, I do admit, I have a tendency to run a bit at the mouth. Overcompensation from my human years when I'd rather put my words down on paper. You can't be a badass though with a pen, especially when you're a Master vampire, the Big Bad.---Well, I do ramble on sometimes. I'm working on it, alright? For her mostly. She's reminded me a few times how annoying it gets, me not keeping my gob shut, especially when we are fighting the baddies together. Now, stop right there. Don't you even begin. I'm not whipped. I never have been, never--- oh, bloody hell, never mind.
Soon. I slowly sit up on my makeshift stone bed and decide I better get dressed. Uh, forgot what I was saying. I am almost 130, so sod off. Anyway, the last four weeks have been---well, bloody amazing for lack of a better word. Now, don't get me wrong. The five months before then were nice. Who would have ever thought. A vampire and a slayer becoming friends; trusting and sharing. Never thought I'd see the day. Never thought I'd be that vampire. No thought of her ever staking me. No thought of me ever biting her.
Of course word got around the demon venue, (and why would it not in a town full of demons to begin with?), that I was being controlled by the Slayer. One night, I was attacked by a gang of vheroyhl demons---ugly buggers. Seems I had pissed the lot of them off after I had surreptitiously (yeah, yeah, I did matriculate) killed one of their species when he had decided to attack a lil' girl out walking her dog. She reminded me so much of lil' bit, I just couldn't let the brute do his deed. So, I surprised him, showed up in game face. He was willing to share in the kill. I don't like to brag----well, I do,---but he never knew what hit him. I'm so good---- ooh---cringing now. I said "that" word. Oh, who am I kidding? I lived 100 years being the scourge of Europe. Thought I'd never live to say this, but I like being on the other side for once. Gives me a feeling of peace I thought I'd never be able to know again.
Grrr, I got off track again, I know. Anyway, this gang had me surrounded and they brought an audience. I had no weapons, no backup, no way out. By the time she showed up, I had offed four of the 12. I was bloodied and bruised but I never gave up. She had brought the friggin' cavalry. I knew then that she cared. We fought side by side that night, the first of many. I even saved Giles and the whelp, oh, I mean Xander, from losing their heads, literally. The audience had thinned quite considerably before we finished off the rest of the gang. Needless to say, I haven't had any other trouble since then. That night, I was accepted into the circle, with open arms, well, from most of them. A member of the slayerettes, a scooby. Me. Funny, I sorta felt all bubbly and tingly inside----oh, just shut your gob.
It was a bit disconcerting at first, you know, everyone being so nice to me. Sorta gave me the wiggins. Yeah, now you know I've been around Buffy too much. The two lovebirds were like two mother hens constantly asking me how I was and doing things for me. I've never had anyone do things for me. To open my crypt door and find little surprises on my doorstep. Homemade cookies, books, journals, a beautiful fountain pen. Even one time I found a cooler with fresh blood in it. I never felt so warm in all my life or unlife. Joyce is the same way, and I have to admit I'm getting used to it. I think Joyce is a mother to all of us really, not just Buffy and the bit. I miss my mum; that's what's so perfect, Joyce fills that void now.
Giles began asking for my opinions, especially regarding certain demons and their habits. Most of the time, I could give him answers or tell him where to find the answers. In that case, I offered to help with research. I think that stunned him. He's a great mate to talk to about being a vampire, answers certain questions I may have whenever the need arises.
Harris, well, let's just say he and I are complete opposites. It took a while for the two of us to even be able to stay in the same room together long enough without a verbal match developing. One night a few months ago I ran into him at the Bronze, by himself, which was off kilter anyway. He's the type of person who always has someone with him but that night he was alone. Seems him and his demon bird had a spat. He wanted to know if I felt like shooting some pool together. (That was another one of those speechless times.) Then the wanker went off and asked me for advice. Me!
We ended up talking, and I mean real actual talking. Found out he had lost his best mate right after meeting the Slayer. He had been turned and Xander was forced to stake him or else die at the hands of his vamped friend. Hard choice to make, I'm sure. Now I know why he hates vampires, any vampire, to this day.
I told him I was sorry. Yes, I was sincere. That was all it took. We've been mates, drinking buddies, pool pals, ever since. In fact, and I don't tell just anyone about this, he saved my life one night. Of course, I don't think he knew he was doing it at the time. We were both three sheets to the wind. I won't go into details but he moved me out of the way just in the nick of time. Or else I'd be sitting here today in an ashtray. Go figure, the one person who I truly despise ends up being a mate. Don't go off and flapping your trap about this to everyone now.
Xander's girl, Anya. We get along, sometimes. We can both relate to the other because I bear a demon and she used to be one. We're the oldest of the bunch. The stories she can tell, fascinating. There are times, though, I just want to haul off and slap her silly. And most of that time is when she opens her hole; she has a way with words I'm guessing. Maybe that will change in time. Maybe.
My nibblet, Dawn. We've grown close. Now don't get your knickers in a bunch. Close in a non-perverted kind of way. I take her out on ice cream runs, rent movies together and play her silly games. She comes to me when she is having problems with big sis. I'm sort of a referee between them and it works out. I guess I'm like an older brother. A much, much older brother. Okay so I'm soft on the girl. I like having a sister again. Moving on.
Buffy. Well, what can I say about Buffy? She's---Buffy. After the little incident with the memory loss and with my whole plan backfiring, she showed up here, at my crypt, to apologize. Apologize to me about not giving me a chance to explain. Never in my right mind would I have thought that she would ever give me any kind of chance what-so-ever.
She had found my poetry, well, and William's too, and had read it. I was so furious when I found out. I almost vamped out but instead took my frustrations out on an unsuspecting piece of furniture. It helped, alright? Anyway come to find out she liked it, she truly liked it. Said it was beautiful and wanted me to read the one I wrote.
That was the same day she told me to never say never. She was giving me a crumb when she asked me to give her time. And that time in between has been---nice. We became friends, real, true, honest friends. We've both lived longer than what was expected, we've both seen things that no one can even comprehend, and we both have fought our inner demons to become better. But none of this compares to the night that she said those words. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It wasn't those words but it was a start.
We had just finished with a sweep of the last cemetery. Not much happened that night, a few vamps dusted and that was it. But on our way out we were confronted by a horde of them. The first few were easy pickings. The last were a bit tougher. I kept an eye out on the slayer and that got me into a world of trouble. I was attacked by four of them coming from all directions. I dusted two, wearing myself out before the last two took me down. Bloody wankers knocked me out. Apparently, they met their ends with a pointy stick. When I opened my eyes, an angel appeared.
My Slayer, golden locks hanging down around her face looking over me with tears in her eyes. She helped me to my feet then threw herself at me. I thought I was going to be in a world of hurt, but instead she hugged me fiercely. A bit painful, yes, but oh, what a rush. To have her in my arms, to smell her sweet slayer musk. She was still crying and I tried soothing her the best I could. I pulled back and asked her what was wrong.
She said, "I thought I lost you. I saw you fighting those vamps but when I looked again, there were only the two of them and no you. They were laughing and I was sure they dusted you. I was so upset I didn't even notice you were here until after I staked the bastards."
I told her she would have a harder time than that to get rid of me. I'm not easy to get rid of. I wiped the tears away from her face and she stared at me. My stomach starting going wonky on me, flipping and flopping around. She smiled so sweetly at me, placed a hand on each side of my face and pulled me to her. I wrapped my hands around her wrists, not wanting to lose her touch. I swear my heart started beating right then and there. She whispered, actually catching me off guard.
"I want---I want an us. I'm ready for an us."
My breath, or rather my words since I don't breathe, caught in my throat and I almost choked. I know the look on my face must have seemed strange to her, that with the combination of the speechlessness. I was just in utter shock, wasn't prepared for what she had said. Inside I was dancing with joy, but nothing on the outside wanted to work.
"Spike? Did you hear what I said?"
I at least blinked, showing my comprehension. Still couldn't talk---bloody wanker. So I swept her up into my arms and started turning her around in circles. I was pretty happy I guess you could say. We both were laughing by the time I stopped and put her back on solid ground not wanting to let go.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Isn't she cute? Heh, I can't believe I just said that. One would never have thought that a slayer could ever be called cute. My Buffy is, when she wants to be. She's also deadly, vicious, gentle, loving, and beautiful to boot. Alright, so I'm biased.
As I was saying, and this is the good part, I finally was able to utter something audible. I said yeah. One of the biggest moments of my whole existence and all I can mutter is a yeah? The best part though is when she reached up and kissed me. I realize we've kissed before, but this in short was our first real kiss. How poignant that we were standing in the middle of a cemetery surrounded by dusty remnants from our previous battle. I put everything that I had within me and poured it into that kiss. I felt it in return. We both knew it wasn't going to be all sunshine and daisies on the road to happily ever afters. It was an uphill race that would have to be taken slowly and cautiously. And you know me; I never give up once I start something.
Well, the sweet kiss ended and we stood there for a bit. She trying her best to catch her breath, me, I'm sure, smiling like a complete dolt. She wanted me to go with her to the Bronze, meet up with the gang. She also asked if we could not tell anyone yet about us. She wanted her time with me without the meddling interruptions from the peanut gallery for a while. She promised then that when we were ready, we would make an announcement to her friends. She said we. Ok, so yeah, I like it when I'm included. Haven't had much of that in, oh, say over the last decade or so. Not complaining now.
So there you have it. I'm not saying it's been an easy ride, but it's been interesting, exciting. We've had our ups and downs but what couple hasn't? I mean look at me and Dru. Right, maybe not a good comparison. I'm telling you though, me and Buffy? I wouldn't change a thing.
Hmm, she's late tonight. Wonder what's keeping her? I've been sitting her in front of a blank telly waiting for over 15 minutes now. I know when she is close by, I can sense her. That's another thing I couldn't explain to you if I tried. It's stronger when you're connected to that person, or demon, whatever the case may be.
Ah, almost forgot. I bought something for her. Just a little something that reminded me a little of her, of us. Sort of an anniversary gift I guess you can say. I mean, we have made it through one whole month which in this day and age is saying a lot. The velvet box is in my duster pocket. Let me show you before she comes whirling in.
It's a silver cross. I know, I know, like she doesn't have enough of those already. This one is different, I promise. In the center of it are two entwined gold hearts draped over the arms of the cross. I wanted her to know that she holds mine for all of eternity. Sappy, right? Oh well, if that's what I've become, so be it. I'm still bad---to a lesser degree. And now playing on the other side.
She's nearby now. Should I act like I don't know she's close or stand at the ready? Oh, why am I asking you? She already knows I anticipate this time everyday. I stand up just as the door flies open. Wouldn't be Buffy if the door didn't fly open. One of these days, methinks it might fall off its creaky, rusted hinges. Both of us smile but she's not walking towards me with outstretched arms as usual. I know my look changes, puzzlement, bewilderment, nervous fear.
"Aren't you going to say 'hello, luv'?" Well, uh, she sounds a bit sultry. Is she flirting with me? She keeps lowering her gaze and what is up with her hands behind her back? Now I know better than to act nervous around her.
"Hello, luv." Did I sound nervous? Now she's playing with my emotions. She tsked me. Must have sounded nervous. Damn. What's this? She's looking at me lustfully, calling me over with her pouty lips and motioning me towards her with the bending of her finger, beckoning me to walk over to her. The one hand is still behind her. I swallow the niggling feeling down, sure that she heard me gulp and slowly, stealthily I slide over.
"What took you so long tonight, pet?" I ask, trying desperately not to peer over her shoulder as she yet again puts the other hand behind her.
"I had to stop along the way and pick---this." One hand has snuck out and she is holding a blood red rose in it. She drags the flower down my cheek, the velvety petals are soft but still tickle. I'm super-sensitive. She holds it out to me to take.
I tell her thanks and do the same thing to her except I run it from the bridge of her nose to her chin. I get a smile. And a kiss---but she cuts it off too quickly.
"I have something for you." Her other hand whips around and I notice it is wrapped around a stake. I jump back, surprised momentarily. She notices. Bugger.
"It's for you, you nitwit. I had it made especially for you. It even has your name engraved in it and it's mahogany. You said you liked mahogany if it wasn't sticking out of your chest."
Okay so I admit, the trust issue still needs to be worked on. It's harder than what it looks like to be dating a slayer, especially if you're a vampire. And the stake, it is beautiful, covered in intricate designs and hey, she wasn't lying. It does have my name on it. Neat.
"Thanks, pet. I love it." This time the kiss lasts a bit longer.
"Patrol, shall we?"
"We shall." As she turns, I remember the necklace. I said I'm gaining on 130, folks. The memory doesn't work as well as it used to. Now it's my turn to make her nervous.
"Stop! Don't turn around." I walk up to her swiftly, pull the necklace out discreetly making sure I don't touch the cross of course, lean over and whisper into her ear.
"Shut your eyes, luv, please."
She obeys for once. That's my girl. Her trust issues surmount my own I guess. I will work on that, promise. I place the necklace around her neck and clasp it, looking at the pendant now resting in the hollow of her neck. Beautiful. She reaches up and touches it, opens her eyes, then looks down at it. I hear a gasp. Next thing I know she is wrapping arms around my neck and planting kisses all over my face. Patrolling can wait a bit longer. I think you can see yourself out. I'm sure you will get to read other stories about our crazy adventures in the near future. So----bugger off.
Thankyous to Tara, Tiger, Spuffygirl, Skyz, hannah, K-LA, Spikeslittledevil, Erina, Undefined, Teri, Scruffy66, Emma, Sall, Spikesevilsoul666, Michelle, penny, Jane Davitt, Vision, Lutheyl, SinisterChic Heather Martin, Jackie, Maegen, Rachel, Keya, Isis, Amy, Blue Star Galaxy, Athenblade, Vette, Falcon-Rider, magg, aliasfan 007, skye, mel, Angela M, carosu, MrsPitt, Green, julz, marys-a-thinker, ello, blondel, Lux, Empress, Jo, Natalie Elizabeth, irish-dancer, Kori Dale, Rebecca, VampiresKiss, BabEe TiG3r, wolf116, kitti and both anonymi 8 D(cause you didn't sign your name and I don't know who you are!). You're all fantabolous.