Hello, and welcome to: Those Times When You Just Thought 'Huh'

This is where I discuss the various and controversial plotholes that were bound to have appeared in such a complicated story such as Harry Potter, but in character format.

It's kind of like a more detailed Plothole!Harry, for those of you who have travelled from The Many Harry Potters of Little Hangleton. Hi to you guys! This probably won't be as long, and is bound to be more controversial, seeing as I'm commenting on the original series and not fanfiction clich├ęs, but it'll be in mostly the same style.

My beloved beta RUGoing2writethat shall be joining me again in my quest!

THIS IS INSPIRED BY 'Run that by me again?' by the wonderful Sarah1281. I will not copy from her works, but some of the points and arguments may be similar, as I think her work is just brilliant, and some of her chapters inspired a point I want to make.

PLEASE BE AWARE that these are my OWN opinions and thoughts. I am not trying to hate on HP, I love it! I just get my joy out of picking holes in beautiful things. ;D

IF YOU WISH TO DEBATE any of the content or points, please do so in a constructive and respectful way. I would really love to have a conversation, and maybe I can learn something! We can be friends, really.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own or have the rights to Harry Potter, and all rights go to JK. The italic sections are direct quotes from the books, and all the work of the wonderful JK.

Set: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, chapter 6 (The Journey From Platform Nine and Three-Quarters)

'Excuse me,' Harry said to the plump woman.

'Hullo, dear,' she said. 'First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too.'

She pointed at the last and youngest of her sons. He was tall, thin and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, ad a long nose.

'Yes,' said Harry. 'The thing is- the thing is, I don't know how to-'

'How to get on to the platform?' she said kindly, and Harry nodded.

'Not to worry,' she said. 'All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on now before Ron.'

Harry mentally cursed Hagrid. Surely there was some sort of guide for the other children from non-magical families? Not everyone could be suspiciously lucky enough to run into a loudly-shouting and obviously-magical family? Hagrid had remembered to give him his tickets, surely it wasn't too much of a stretch to give him directions on how to use them. 'It's all on yer ticket'- what rubbish.

Harry regarded the rather convincingly solid brick wall in front of him. "Er, wouldn't it be easier to, y'know, lean against the wall, or something? It might help to reduce the freezing fear of being squished like a bug."

"Don't be silly," the woman dismissed, smiling patronisingly, "It's much less scary to run full pelt at that very solid-looking wall!"

Harry blinked and frowned. "No, you see I'm not buying that. Not at all. Although it is a lot less silly than the idea that muggles don't notice groups of kids with huge trunks and an owl disappearing, whilst running, into a wall, in the middle of the 9th biggest train station in Great Britain. I can't believe the conductor hasn't gotten suspicious yet! I must be the 100th kid to ask him about this non-existent station!"

The woman shrugged. "But how else are muggle-borns supposed to reach it? We have to put it in some kind of easily recognisable location, for heaven's sake. It's not like we could give them the postcode or street name where there's a subtle entrance, where we could clearly organise the muggleborns and inform them of the foreign world they're entering, instead of stranding them helplessly in a crowded station. And the idea of giving them a timed portkey or something since, you know, magic? Ha! What rot! It's much better to have it in the middle of good old King's Cross."

"But that's just ridiculous! How are magical-born families supposed to reach it? Somehow I just can't imagine Draco Malfoy travelling on the Underground."

"Oh no, dear, purebloods presumably travel through fireplace to get to the train. Because you can't just have a floo straight to Hogwarts, oh no. You must get a train. A muggle train. For some reason..."

"Fireplace?" Harry raised his eyebrows doubtfully. "You're not worried about burning to death?"

"It's magical fire," she explained slowly, leaning over and staring into his face.

"How do you know this?" Harry narrowed his eyes.

"We're purebloods," she said happily, wrapping an arm around Ron (who groaned and batted his mum's arm away, grumbling "Gerroff,")

"So why are you using the muggleborn entrance?" Harry asked curiously.

She looked at him very seriously. "Depending upon fan theories; it's either Dumbledore's evil plan, or a plot device in order for you to meet Ron's family and ascertain that we are very nice people." She gestured to Ron cheerfully. "Say hello to your new best friend!"

Ron removed the finger from his nose and mumbled, "Hi."

Harry stared at the boy in disbelief. "Oh god."