A few reviews!
Katie: Glad you liked all the funny one-liners! And Andy may get hooked on phonics. He does need some help! ^_^ And the bra is only encrusted on the outside. Hee… and the cliffhanger at the end is kinda a mixture of the Shinra death in FF7 (when Sephy stabs President Shinra) and the Who Shot Mr. Burns scene from the Simpsons! Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy my Trunks/Ami fic when I start writing it!
The Review Guy: Welp, I've never seen Bill and Ted. Heard it was good though. Welp, thanks for reviewing!
PsychoPapaya: They smashed to the ground because they didn't really want to admit their love for each other and all the sexual tension made them fall and go boom. And OOC means out-of-character, when a character acts sorta different in a fic then they do in the show.
NessacusGirl: You hope Andy ends up with Faye, hmmm? Welp, he might! Or Spike might. Oooh, cliffhanger! ^_^ Hope you enjoy the final chappie!
RaigekiLeviathan: The wait is over! The final chapter is heeeeeeeere!!! ^_^
Trunkz: Welp, ya kinda knew it would end after 26 chapters. Maybe you'll wanna check out my Trunks/Ami fic! It won't be nearly as funny as this, but it will be really good, I promise! Thanks for reviewing!
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or any of the characters. I also don't own Satan. Wait, the Bible is public domain. I don't have to put a disclaimer if I use him! And that means I can kill him off, too! And uh… I love you all! Especially Gabby! ^_^
Warning: For the purpose of comedy, most of the characters are OOC. Just warning you now.
Faye walked into Spike's cell and looked around.
"Spike?" Faye said softly. "Are you here?"
Faye continued to walk around until she saw who she was looking for. She gasped.
"Spike!" Faye said. Spike was sitting on his bed, his head looking down at the ground sadly. A CD player next to his bed played "Adieu" repeatedly.
I'm gone for good
You won't see me again
I'm ten million miles away
And you have to stay
So far away from me
Depressed, and sad
Faye crawled onto Spike's bed and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Spike?" Faye said. "Oh, Spike…"
Spike turned around.
"So, you finally screwed someone who had an STD," Spike said. "Sucks to be you."
Session 52: Dude, We're Going To Hell (Part 2)
Meanwhile, in Satan's office…
"Who did this?" Andy asked, removing the sword from Satan's back.
"Edward doesn't know, Andy-person!" Edward said. "You're the bounty hunter, you figure it out!"
"Well, I've narrowed it down to either God, or someone bad," Andy said. "And I'm pretty sure God would have used a bigger sword. So it's obvious that this was perpetrated by someone bad."
"Heck is full of bad people, Andy!" Edward said. "We'll have to check them all out!"
"Then check them out we will!" Andy declared. "Come, Edward! You'll be my super-cool assistant cowgirl, okay?"
"Yay, yay, yay! Edward will be the best cowgirl!" Edward said. She hugged Andy, then skipped off with him.
Back in Spike's cell…
"So you're not dead. You fell down here by accident," Spike said. "Interesting."
"Spike, don't you see?" Faye asked. "This is our second chance for love!"
"I love Julia, and I always will," Spike said. "I'm a stubborn misguided cowboy."
"But Julia's in Heaven and you're down here," Faye said. "How did you get down here, anyway?"
"I didn't say my prayers or take my vitamins, brother," Spike said. "You've gotta do one of the two."
"Oh," Faye said. "Julia said her prayers?"
"No, she took her vitamins. She was pretty into the ephedrine. That's probably how she died," Spike said. "Wait, no, I remember now. It was a botched Pedigree from Triple H IV. Duh."
"Spike, please, please, PLEASE love me!" Faye shouted.
"No," Spike said. "Now go away. I'm depressed."
"Look at you," Faye said. "You used to be badass, and now you're just sadass. You've changed, Spike."
Faye pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat down in it.
"I'm not leaving until you admit that you love me," Faye said. "So there."
"Whatever," Spike said. He turned back around and continued to wallow in his stubborn depression.
Meanwhile, in a large cathedral deep in the core of Hell…
"Hey, yo," Scott Hall IV said. "Why would there be a cathedral down here anyway? This is Hell."
"Don't question Vicious, brother!" Hulk Hogan said.
"I've been secretly building this cathedral down here, waiting for the glorious day when the NWO would take over Hell," Vicious said. "And now we have! Isn't that neat? Anyway, our first mission."
Vicious snapped his fingers, causing a huge closed-circuit TV to drop down from the ceiling. Images of Spike and Faye together in Spike's cell appeared on the screen.
"We're going to kill Spike and capture the girl," Vicious said. "Faye is so hot, and I've wanted to get with her for two months! Now is my ultimate chance. There is justice! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Vicious facefaulted. He stood up again.
"I mean, uh… when angels fall from heaven they become snow angels," Vicious said. "Let's roll."
"Did you kill Satan?" Andy yelled. The camera panned out to reveal Napoleon sitting in an interrogation chair, a white-hot light shining on his face.
"I didn't!" Napoleon yelled. "I swear!"
Edward began chewing on Napoleon's ears.
"Argh!" Napoleon screamed. "Alright! Alright!"
"You killed Satan?" Andy asked.
"No!" Napoleon yelled. "But one day, when Satan wasn't looking… I stole a mint from the candy bowl on his desk. I didn't know they were for him! I was hungry!"
"Alright, you didn't kill him," Andy said. "But would you know who did?"
"I know someone who might know," Napoleon said. "But this guy is really, really mean!"
"WHO?" Andy yelled. "TELL ME!"
"Aaaah!" Napoleon shouted. "His name… is Hunter Hearnst Helmsley IV!"
"Of course!" Andy shouted. "Triple H!"
"Yes!" Napoleon said. "Now would you call off your dog?"
Edward chomped on Napoleon's ear harder.
"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Napoleon screamed.
Meanwhile, in Spike's cell…
"I'm so depressed," Spike sighed.
"You've said that 286 times already," Faye said. "I've been keeping count."
"You know what you can do with that counter?" Spike asked.
"No, what?" Faye asked.
"You can take that counter, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it STRAIGHT UP YOUR ROODYPOO CANDY-"
At that moment, Vicious and the NWO members broke down the door. They ran into the room. Faye gasped in horror.
"Vicious!" Faye shouted. "But I thought you-"
"You thought wrong, brother!" Hulk Hogan shouted. "Vicious is back, Jack! What'cha gonna do when Vicious and the millions of Viciousmaniacs run wild on YOU?"
"I don't know," Faye said. "Scream, maybe?"
"You do that," Kevin Nash IV said. "But-"
Nash IV stepped toward Faye. Almost immediately, his right leg collapsed underneath him. He fell to the ground, clutching his quadracep in pain.
"That always happens," Scott Hall IV said.
"Enough of this," Vicious said. He took out his katana and slashed off Nash IV's head. "Anyone else want some?"
Spike walked toward Vicious and took out his gun.
"I want some!" Spike yelled. "Give me a piece!"
"Spike, you're not depressed anymore!" Faye said. "Oh, Spike!"
Hulk Hogan and Scott Hall IV got behind Spike and held him in place. Spike struggled to get away, but couldn't.
"Ha!" Vicious yelled. "All this time moping around has made you soft, Spike. But I'm as hard as a rock! I'm as hard as a diamond! I'm as hard as Hugh Hefner's pe-"
"We get it," Faye said. She took out her gun and pointed it at Vicious. "And now you're going to get it!"
Faye tried to shoot at Vicious, but Vicious kicked the gun out of her hand before she could. The gun flew across the room and skidded under the bed. Faye dashed for it, but Vicious immediately got behind her and slapped a pair of handcuffs on her wrists.
"Geez, you are frickin' fast," Faye said.
"It's a gift," Vicious said. He held Faye with one arm and pointed his sword at Spike with the other. "I should kill you now."
"I'm already dead," Spike said. "I've been dead ever since Julia left me. I'm a mopy, whiny, depressed stubborn loser."
"I know," Vicious said. "That's why I'm going to give you one chance to rescue Faye. Come to the cathedral and we'll have our climactic final battle there."
Vicious dragged Faye out of Spike's cell. Scott Hall IV immediately hit a powerbomb on Spike, knocking him out. Then, Hulk Hogan hit Spike with the Atomic Leg Drop. Vicious turned to his two NWO members and gestured for them to go.
"We've beat him up enough," Vicious said. "Leave some for me."
Scott Hall IV held up a can of spray paint.
"Hey yo! Can I spraypaint NWO on his yoohoo?" Hall IV asked. "It's sorta my thing."
Vicious pushed Faye over to Hogan and walked up to Scott Hall IV. He unsheathed his katana.
"How about... NO!" Vicious yelled. He sliced off Scott Hall IV's head. "Sick freak. Let's go!"
Meanwhile, Andy and Edward had just entered Triple H IV's cell.
"What do you want?" Triple H IV asked.
"I'll be asking the questions," Andy said. "First of all, what is your name?"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!" Andy shouted.
"Good one, Andy-person!" Edward giggled.
"Second question. Who killed Satan?" Andy asked.
"I did!" Triple H IV said. "Because I am The Game! And I am that... damn... good!"
"You really killed Satan?" Andy asked.
"No," Triple H IV said. "Vicious did it."
"Vicious?" Edward gasped. "Not Vicious! Wait, who's Vicious?"
"He's the guy that killed Spike," Andy said. "Faye told me. Of course, Faye is a horrible liar, so... well, if Vicious is tough enough to kill Spike, then he's tough enough to kill Satan."
Andy paced around the room.
"Question number three," Andy said. "Where is Vicious?"
"I don't know," Triple H IV said. "He never told me. But there is one person who does know."
"And who would that be?" Andy asked.
"A guy by the name of Leroy Brown," Triple H IV said. "Vicious tried to get him to join the NWO, but Leroy wanted Vicious to be his lackey. They had a fight, and Vicious won. They fought in whatever place Vicious chose as his secret headquarters. If anyone knows where Vicious is, it's Leroy."
"Great," Andy said. "I have to get information out of my arch rival. Hip hip hooray."
"Andy-person, you can't ask the bad man for help!" Edward said. "He could hurt you!"
"Edward, I have to go," Andy said. "I have this weird feeling boiling up inside me that someone I care about could be in bad danger if I don't find out where Vicious is."
"You mean Faye-Faye?" Edward asked.
"Bingo," Andy said. "Let's go!"
Meanwhile, in Vicious' cathedral...
"Spike should have been here by now," Vicious said.
"I bet he's a coward, brother!" Hulk Hogan IV said. "He doesn't take his vitamins and he doesn't say his prayers!"
Hanging from the ceiling was a very, very angry looking Faye. Her wrists and ankles were chained, and an NWO sticker placed over her mouth muffled her cries. She had been annoying Vicious with muffled curses for the past twenty minutes.
"She's annoying," Vicious said. "Hulk, I want you to drown her out with a long and boring promo."
"You've got it, brother!" Hogan yelled. He began Hulking up. "Spike Spiegel, brother, what'cha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you? Brother, you'd better be taking your vitamins and saying your prayers, because I just signed a brand new contract! So, brother, Hulk Hogan is back, Jack! And the first person I want to beat the living hell out of is you, Spike! Brother, what'cha gonna do? I said what'cha gonna do when Hulkamania... I SAID WHAT'CHA GONNA DO, BROTHER, WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?"
Hogan began parading around the cathedral, cupping his hand over his ear over and over in the familiar Hulk Hogan "I can't hear you" motion.
"Brother, it's gonna be Hulk Hogan and his Hulkamaniacs versus the Spikajabroni, brother! You got that right! So what'cha gonna... what'cha gonna... WHAT'CHA GONNA DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BROTHER, WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON-"
"IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! IF YA SMELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELLOOKATTHETONGUELOOK ATTHETONGUELOOKATTHETONGUE... IF YA SMELELELELELELELELELELELELELELEL.... WHAT SPIKE... IS COOKIN'!"
Faye's eyes lit up.
"Oh, Spike! My hero! You've come!"Faye thought. Spike ran down the aisle of the cathedral and faced Hulk Hogan.
"Finally!" Spike shouted. "Finally! FINALLY! FINALLY, SPIKE SPIEGEL HAS COME BACK TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.... aw, who gives a crap!"
"Brother, what'cha gonna do-" was all Hulk Hogan could say before Spike took out his gun and shot Hogan in the head, killing him. Again.
"Wow, Spike," Vicious said. "Not bad. But you've got to better than that to save Faye."
"I didn't come to save Faye," Spike said. "I came to show you something."
Spike powered up to SSJ.
"This is a Super Saiyan," Spike said. "Isn't it cool?"
"I guess," Vicious said. "What's your point?"
"This-" Spike said, powering up again and making his golden hair even bigger, "is an Ascended Super Saiyan. You might just call it Super Saiyan 2."
"So?" Vicious said. "I went Super Saiyan on your mom last night. Heh heh."
"No you didn't," Spike said. "And this...."
Spike began groaning and moaning as if he was constipated.
"Crap, I haven't used the bathroom today," Spike said. "Hold on."
Spike ran off to the bathroom.
"We've looked all over and we haven't found Leroy," Andy said. "I'm a cowboy failure! They oughta rename this show Cowboy Failure, because that's what I am!"
"Never give up!" Edward shouted. "Faye-Faye needs you!"
"You're right," Andy said. "Faye-Faye does need me! LEROY, GET YOUR FAT BUTT OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"
Leroy Brown ran up to Andy.
"Wow, that actually worked," Andy said. "Awesome."
"Finally, I've caught you in my trap!" Leroy shouted. "Mwahahaha!"
"Leroy, do you know where Vicious is?" Andy asked.
"Sure!" Leroy said. "He's in a large cathedral in the middle of Hell. You can't miss it!"
"Great!" Andy said. "ONYX, GET YOUR FAT BUTT OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"
Onyx galloped up to Andy. Andy and Edward hopped on Onyx as it galloped away.
"Wait a second, I really messed up," Leroy said. He took out his gun. "Come back, Andy! Come back!"
Leroy fired five shots into the air, then collapsed to the ground, sobbing.
"Okay, I'm back," Spike said, walking into the cathedral. "Now, where were we?"
"You were showing me an Ascended Super Saiyan," Vicious said.
"Oh yeah!" Spike replied. "Anyway, this.... is to go... even further beyond! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...."
A huge aura of golden ki began to surround Spike. He continued screaming. His muscles began to bulk up. The cathedral began to shake, causing the chain Faye was hanging from to swing back and forth. Vicious began cowering in fear.
"He's becoming so ugly!" Vicious shouted. "His eyebrows are disappearing!"
"Goin' to save Faye-Faye," Andy sang. "Doot de doo..."
Suddenly, Onyx neighed and reared back. Andy and Edward nearly fell off of the horse.
"Yikes, Andy-person!" Edward shouted. "What's going on?"
"Trouble," Andy said. "Faye, HERE I COME!"
Onyx galloped toward the center of Hell at lightning-quick speed! What a fast horse! Go, Onyx, go!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- done," Spike said. He had powered up to SSJ3. His hair was now extremely long and had taken on a golden glow. Vicious screamed in terror.
"My God, Spike, your hair is really freaking ugly!" Vicious yelled. "And you have no eyebrows. That is just sick, man!"
Vicious unsheathed his katana.
"Spike, prepare to die!" Vicious shouted. He ran at Spike. Spike took out his gun and began firing on Vicious. One of the bullets grazed Vicious' shoulder. Vicious ran at Spike and slashed at him. Spike used his gun to block the slash.
"Just like last time," Spike said. "We're both going to die, again."
"That is our fate," Vicious said. "To keep fighting and to keep dying. It is the eternal dance of death that we do."
"And it shall continue, forever and ever," Spike said. He leapt back and tried to shoot at Vicious, but Vicious continued to hold back Spike's gun with his katana.
"We'll both die," Vicious said. "And that'll be just fine."
"I agree," Spike replied.
Vicious leapt back.
"Spike, look over there!" Vicious yelled, pointing behind Spike.
"Okay," Spike said. He turned around to look. In that split second, Vicious stabbed him in the back with his katana. Spike gasped, powered down, and fell to the ground.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!" Faye screamed.
"Yeah, that's what I would say too if I just lost my lover," Vicious said. "Spike, any last words?"
"Bang," Spike said. He fell unconscious.
"Game, set, match," Vicious said.
Just outside the cathedral...
"Edward, I want you to stay here," Andy said. Edward hopped off of Onyx.
"Andy-person, are you going to die?" Edward asked.
"I'm not going in there to die," Andy said. "I'm going in there to save Faye Valentine, the woman I love!"
"Yay!" Edward cheered. "Go, Andy-person!"
Onyx galloped into the cathedral.
"I won," Vicious said. "Now to claim my prize."
Vicious pressed a button on the wall. The chain that Faye was hanging from lowered to the floor so that Vicious and Faye were on the same level. Vicious laughed maliciously.
"Guess what I get to do?" Vicious asked.
"Oh, I can only imagine..."Faye thought. "He's gonna make me play Superman 64! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
"I'm going to make you play Superman 64," Vicious said. "Bwahaha!"
"Wow, I was only joking... I thought he was going to do something perverted,"Faye thought. "Wait a second. HE'S GOING TO MAKE ME PLAY SUPERMAN 64! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
The closed-circuit TV lowered from the ceiling. Vicious placed a Nintendo 64 controller in Faye's chained hands.
"The controls are so bad on this game, it wouldn't matter if you were tied up or not," Vicious said. "And the gameplay really sucks! Mwahahaha!"
Vicious walked toward the Power button. Faye closed her eyes.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no..."Faye thought.
"It's Superman 64 time!" Vicious shouted. "Bwahahaha!"
The faint clicking of hooves could be heard in the background. It grew louder and louder. Vicious turned around.
"What the heck?" Vicious said. "What's going on?"
"Go Go Cactus Man" began to play in the background. It started as a whistling, but as the song slowly progressed, more and more instruments were added to the song. Faye turned her head toward the cathedral entrance.
"No way,"Faye thought. "No freaking way...."
Suddenly, the song launched into a full orchestral symphony. Onyx crashed through the stained-glass windows at the top of the cathedral. Andy leaped off of Onyx and landed on the ground, 10 feet away from Vicious and Faye.
"Who are you?" Vicious asked.
"I'll be asking the questions around here," Andy said. "And my question... who are you? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU??? YEE-HAW!"
Andy took out two guns and began shooting them into the air like a crazy cowboy. Faye growled angrily.
"Idiot,"Faye thought. Andy stopped shooting his guns and pointed them at Vicious.
"Time to die!" Andy shouted. He began shooting at Vicious with the guns, which clicked as Andy pulled the trigger. "Oh fudgicling schlock. Click is a bad noise, right?"
"Yeah," Vicious said. "That's the good thing about swords. They never click!"
Vicious slashed at Andy with his sword. However, it turned out that Vicious was wrong. As Vicious tried to swing, he heard a clicking noise.
"Ha!" Andy said. "Well, what do you know?"
"That's crazy," Vicious said. "Oh crap! I forgot to have my sword re.... re... whatever you do to it. Grrr..."
Vicious tossed his sword to the ground. Andy did the same with his guns.
"Time for good old fists!" Andy shouted. He ran at Vicious and punched him hard in the face. Vicious staggered back. Andy lunged forward and punched Vicious in the face again, knocking him to the ground.
"Wait!" Vicious yelled. "Don't hit me anymore. I've been using my sword so long that I forgot how to fight with my fists!"
"Really?" Andy asked. "Well..."
"Psyche!" Vicious yelled. He jumped up and kicked Andy in the groin. Andy squealed in pain and doubled over.
"Argh!" Andy yelled. "That was a cheap shot!"
"I'm a bad guy," Vicious said. "I'm the master of cheap shots!"
Vicious walked over to Faye and took the gun out of her holster. Faye glared at him angrily.
"Oh, stop that," Vicious said. "It's not like you need it."
Vicious pointed the gun at Andy's head.
"Via... condios," Vicious said. He clicked the gun.
"Wait!" Faye shouted. Vicious turned around.
"How can you talk? I put that sticker on your mouth!" Vicious yelled.
"Those things are crap," Faye said. "A few beads of sweat will pop those right off."
"Faye..." Andy groaned. "I'm sorry..."
"Vicious, you can't kill Andy!" Faye yelled. "Because... because I love him!"
"You didn't facefault this time?" Andy asked. "You really... do love me?"
"Yes, Andy," Faye said. "After all these weeks, I've finally realized that Spike is a big fat failure. He completely failed to save me!"
"But so did I," Andy said. "I freaking failed!"
"Yeah, but you're cute," Faye said. "And you're funny! I remember this one time-"
"Enough of this crap," Vicious said. "I've got a murder to commit!"
Vicious lowered the gun at Andy again.
"Die! For the last time!" Vicious shouted.
"VICIOUS, STOP NOW!" yelled a booming voice from the heavens. Vicious looked up to see a giant finger pointing at him. Andy and Faye gasped.
"It's... the big cheese," Faye said.
"The guy upstairs," Andy said.
"The grand poobah," Faye said.
"The president of the United States of Heaven," Andy said.
"The king of the universe," Faye said.
"The Heaven Wrestling Entertainment Undisputed Champion," Andy said.
"What do you want?" Vicious asked.
"YOU KILLED SATAN. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TRAINING HE HAD AS A MASTER OF EVIL?" the voice boomed. "A LOT. YOU DON'T FIND GUYS LIKE THAT WITH THAT MUCH TRAINING!"
"And?" Vicious asked. "What's your point?"
"IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE NEW SATAN, YOU HAVE TO BE TRAINED!" the voice boomed. "IT'S A ONE HUNDRED YEAR COURSE, AND THERE'S LOTS OF HOMEWORK."
The hand grabbed Vicious.
"Nooooo!" Vicious yelled. The hand of God pulled Vicious up through the roof and out of the cathedral.
"That was cool," Faye said.
"Yeah," Andy said. "It seems sorta like the author wrote himself into a corner and had God bail him out. I mean-"
The large finger pointed at Andy again and began to charge up an energy ball.
"I take it back," Andy said. The hand of God disappeared. "Whew..."
Andy picked up Faye's gun and shot three times. The chains around Faye snapped, dropping her into Andy's arms.
"Such a manly cowboy," Faye said.
"But I didn't save you," Andy said. "God did."
"But if you hadn't come and stalled Vicious, I would have had to play Superman 64," Faye said. "You saved my life, Andy! I love you!"
"Yay!" Andy shouted. He moved his face close to Faye's. Then, they kissed.
*2 hours later...*
Andy and Faye were still kissing.
*6 hours later...*
Andy and Faye were still kissing.
*10 hours after that...*
Guess what? It's Andy and Faye! And they were still kissing! Edward walked in.
"Edward got worried when Andy-person didn't come out," Edward said. "Is everything alright in-"
"They're trying to eat each other's faces!" Edward shouted. "Oh wait, they're kissing! Awww... Andy and Faye-Faye, sitting in a tree!"
Meanwhile, in a fiery classroom deep in the depths of Hell...
"VICIOUS, ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR TRAINING TO BEGIN?" a loud voice boomed.
"No," Vicious said, sitting in the only desk in the room. "I want to go home!"
Suddenly, a huge hand walked into the room. It wasn't attached to a body.
"Eh?" Vicious asked. "But I thought you were the hand of-"
A large door on the top of the hand slid open. A 15-year-old boy holding a huge sword jumped out of the hand and landed in front of Vicious.
"Like my robot?" the boy asked. "Heh heh!"
"It was a robot?" Vicious asked.
"Yeah," the boy said. "I'm the author. My name's Ry Senkari! Hee hee, you thought I was God."
"You're impersonating God! You're going to Hell!" Vicious shouted.
"Eh, I checked it out with the big man before I tricked you," I said. "There's nothing against it in the Bible... at least I don't think. Hey, I saved Faye! I rock! And for you..."
A large TV appeared in front of Vicious. A Nintendo 64 controller appeared in Vicious' hand.
"You have to play Superman 64 for all eternity!" I shouted. "Enjoy!"
I teleported out of the room, leaving Vicious to play Superman 64. I am SO awesome.
Back aboard the Bebop...
"Faye," Andy said, kneeling before Faye and holding a beautiful diamond ring in his hand. "Will you marry me?"
"Of course I will!" Faye said. She slid the ring onto her finger and gave Andy a big kiss.
"They're so sweet!" Edward said. "Go Andy-person and Faye-Faye!"
Meanwhile, Spike Spiegel limped through Purgatory, searching for Julia.
"I'll find you if it takes me a thousand years!" Spike shouted. "This sucks. Now my character's ending is the ambiguous one. Will I find Julia? Will I not find Julia? You'll never know!"
They will now! Here is the Epilogue!
Two weeks later, Andy and Faye were married in a huge ceremony. They had seven wonderful children who went on many wonderful adventures!
Edward became the most successful cowgirl/bounty hunter/supermodel of all time! Isn't that nice?
Applederry failed to win his 25th Kickboxing Championship. His wife beat him in the semifinals. In the finals, she lost when Chris Jericho IV hit her with a folding chair. Jericho then went on to win for the next 25 years.
Jet and Gabby lived a long and prosperous life as well! They also had a bunch of kids. Macintyre and Stephi had no kids, but won one of Jet and Gabby's kids in a poker game. Gabby would later win him back.
Hell was bought by the former executives of Enron, and it became Enron Hell. The workforce was made up of everyone who had been condemned there. Not surprisingly, conditions in Enron Hell were much worse than conditions in the real Hell.
I would go on to write a wonderful Trunks/Ami romance fanfic called "Love In A Ruined World". Everyone read it, loved it, and enjoyed it.
Andy: No they didn't.
Faye: Talk about us some more!
Ry: Uh... I love everyone who read! Bye! *runs off*
Faye: This ending sucks.
Andy: Don't worry, our children will beat a better ending out of Ry.
Faye: You lost our children to Gabby in a poker game, remember?