A/N: AU where Edward and Alphonse were sent to a parallel universe after attempting the Human Transmutation. Namely, the Wizarding World in Harry Potter. Kevin Entwhistle POV, who was a Ravenclaw according to canon. He is completely my OC, other than his name, and now, I am giving him a personality. Originally, the idea didn't include Kevin at all, but I wanted it to be someone else's POV, who was more external from it. Not Al, since he hasn't gone to Hogwarts yet as he is a year younger than Ed, and from there, I just decided it to be Kevin. As for the original idea... that would be a spoiler.

I'm actually not sure if this is going to become an actual story or not. I already have enough other HP/FMA fanfics, so it would be kind of weird to start another one at the same time. So for now, this is just a one-shot, but feel free to pester me to attempt to make it into an actual story if you like it enough.

Terrible Irony

"Edward Elric!"

I watched with cold, analytic eyes as the one-armed boy made his way to where the Sorting Hat lay in wait. It was odd, that. A rusty old hat that could garner such respect from so many. It was either handled delicately or with nervous anticipation – after all, this hat was going to be the one to determine our life paths for the next seven years.

Yet, Edward Elric had no such qualms, no signs of nervousness or reverence for the old battered hat. It intrigued me, what sort of life that boy must have had. We were the same age, yet he seemed to have so much more to him, like he had already lived a life, yet still kept on going because he... because...

Because of what?

I frowned. I didn't know enough about him. I had only just met him on the train just five hours ago – how could I presume to know anything about him? And yet, I had felt that thick allure of mystery. I wanted to figure him out.

And so I found myself watching the Sorting eagerly, for once. Was he by the stool yet? No, there were still a few feet to go. Still a few more blessed seconds to think, to wonder at what it would be.

Would he be placed in Gryffindor? He had the rash temper for it. Ravenclaw perhaps? I knew he was smart; he could easily keep up with my banter on the train. And there were all those books he had with him – definitely an avid reader. It was likely he would end up in the so-called "House of the Wise."

Good. That was the house I was hoping I'd end up in.

And there he was now, already sitting on the stool, the hat dropping over his golden eyes. I leaned in from where I stood. Which house, which house?

... What was taking so long?

Despite myself, I felt my fascination grow further. If the Sorting Hat was taking so long, then he must –

A shout from the hat. The sound of clapping.

My mind froze.

No. No! That couldn't be right; that couldn't. He was smart; it was so obvious. Why wasn't he in Ravenclaw? Or even Gryffindor? Those, I could understand, but this...

"Kevin Entwhistle!"

I took a deep breath and formed my face into a cheery smile as I made my way to the stool. I knew what I had to do. I didn't want to, but... I just had to know. Why was he put in that House?

I barely noticed when the hat was dropped over my head. My mind was racing far too fast to be caught up in the physical world.

"Oh my." I heard the hat speak, and I knew I should've been more startled. Should've been theorizing at how it was possible. But no. I had to know.

Put me in that house, I thought fiercely. The house you put Ed in.

"Are you sure you don't want to be in Ravenclaw?" I felt my heart race. This was it. This was my choice after so long, and I was going to sabotage it.

Yes, I answered.

"Very well then. You will be in..." I knew what it would be. I already knew what demeaning horror the Hat would announce, and yet, my ears refused to hear it. Register it. So I had this one last blissful moment before the shock would set in.

There were cheers. Clapping. I could dimly register them. Yet, all I could see was a pair of unblinking golden eyes. My object of fascination that had deprived me of my chance for "Wisdom."

Why was Ed in Hufflepuff?

I had to know.