"Hmm... so we've hit the two-year anniversary of living here huh Kurama?"


"Oiii, answer me already~! I know you're awake in there!"

"...Shut up."

"This is a special occasion, I figured we should talk about it."

"...We can talk... after my nap."

"Noooooo~ Don't sleep now, you'll never wake up again~!"


"Seriously! And here I thought that I can close the shop for a day and spend some quality time with you, you overgrown lazy bag of fuzz."


"... I would gladly accept that challenge, but I need to open up the shop."

"...Ungrateful bra...ZZZ."

"...Seriously? You were awake for like five minutes..."

It was a good thing that Naruto opens his ramen shop early or else he would have had to receive many questioning stares coming his way for his one man act while he sweeps his shop's front entrance. Then again, the reason he opens early is exactly because he recieves weird looks already. The lady next door is still sending him pitying glances whenever he greets her, not for his one-man act, but for other reasons.

'Damn middle-aged gossiping old hag, I know it's you who's been spreading the rumors of me escaping an insanity asylum! It's not my fault I have a telepathic connection with a disembodied demonic beast who I befriended during a war against two guys and a rabbit god... dess... Huh... maybe the old hag is on to something...'


'Stop reading my thoughts then!'

"We're connected by th...ZZZ"

"...Kurama? Buddy? You there?"

Naruto glances down to his stomach where the seal for Kurama's home resides. Hearing no answer except for a light snoring sound, the blonde teen sighs to himself and flips over the open sign before walking into his ramen shop.

'Looks like it's one of those days again.'

It has been roughly two years since Naruto awoken in the middle of the forest west of Japan's capital, Tokyo.

He had no idea how he got there or how long he's been laying there but by the time he got to his feet, the sky was pitch black. Not seeing any of the stars or even a moon to guide him, the blonde climbed a random tree and tried to recollect himself. He remembered the sealing of Kaguya Otsutsuki with the help his teammates and the beasts. He remembered Sasuke's harebrained scheme for obtaining ultimate peace. He slightly recalled the battle that took place where he gloriously, without a doubt, kicked some sense into Sasuke's ass (read as: barely remembers getting punched in the face and retaliating). But anything afterwards escaped the blonde. Try as he might, he could not seem to conjure up any memory of the events after he blacked out.

After ten minutes of him sitting cross legged with arms fold under each other and face scrunched up in concentration on a tree branch, a little light bulb appeared on top of his head and smashed itself into his skull. He was knocked out of his thinking and literally fell into his mindscape. In front of him was the gate of Kurama's prison and the same light bulb that smashed him earlier appeared again and "dinged" before disappearing. Suddenly, the idea that he should ask Kurama if he remembered anything popped into his head. Completely ignoring the metaphorical violence happening to him like a good main character that he is, Naruto walked past the gates of the prison and roamed into the cell.

"Kurama! You here?" Naruto couldn't see very far into the deep dark cavern, so he decided to call out to his partner. Not hearing any answer, he panicked a little and called upon his chakra to... do whatever it did for him to sense others. Getting a vague location of the giant chakra container relieved Naruto.

'Whew, there he is... but... why isn't he answering? Maybe something's wrong!' Renewing his sense of panic, Naruto ran towards the vague location of Kurama. Though even in complete darkness, he somehow managed to see the fox's outline as he ran towards it. The giant beast was in his usual pose, laying on his stomach with his head on top of his forepaws. Seeing the resting fox didn't calm him down at all. This was mostly due to the fact that the fox was not responding to his insistent yelling of its name (and he can be very insistent).

"Hey, Kurama, you okay?" Naruto was very worried, border lining frightened, at the stilled fox. Kurama is many things; manipulative, cynical, grudging, lonely, fiery, and plain arrogant. Calm and silent however, was not him. The blonde knew that if he annoyed the fox enough, he would definitely get a tail to the face and here he was, insistently calling the fox. Kurama would've reached his limits at around the fifth call but now Naruto passed the fiftieth mark and not even a twitch shown itself.

"...Kurama..." He whispers as he reaches out to touch the snout of his stilled friend... and got a tail slapped into his face, sending him flying a couple hundred meters before he falls to his face, ass sticking up in the air.

"...I heard you... the first time... brat." The previously stilled beast opened one of his eyes to glance at the downed blonde. It pulled its lips up into a twisted smirk and gloatingly said

"...Expect the unexpected... look underneath the underneath... right, Naruto?"

"... I will never worry about you again you fuzz bag." Not bothering to lift up his face, Naruto begins to push his body back towards the still lying fox. He didn't need to look up to know the fox is wearing that damned smirk. Though he had said he wouldn't worry, in the end he still noticed how tired Kurama sounded and deigned it important enough to ask.

"...Why d'you sound so tired anyway? I thought you were the invincible Kyuubi-sama that wouldn't tire even after terrorizing an army of kittens. "

"We're not in the Elemental Nations anymore Naruto" The fox broke in before Naruto could start another of his tirades.

"... Kaguya... managed to bite us in the ass even after kicking the bucket... An external dimensional rift was purposely left open... We fell straight into it... I have no idea where we are... Just that we're not in the Elemental Nations anymore..."

"..." Naruto was shocked. Kaguya still managed to screw him over even now? Sheez, how persistent is that woman? Well, it's not like he has to worry, he'll just wait here for Kakashi-sensei to use that space jutsu of his... which he needs the Sharingan to use... and said Sharingan... is gone... "Ding"

"You mean..."

"...No way back... sorry Naruto... I'm tire... I leave the rest to you..."

"But... that's... Why are you so tired, Kurama?" Not completely accepting his current predicament, Naruto looked for something to grasp onto and what he managed was the worry he had for his partner.

"...We are not... "residents" of this plane... It will take a while for it to accept us... Until then... it will try to... "deport" us... I will "anchor" us here... so that we won't get... "deported"... Don't do anything stupid... I won't be able to drag you out this time... Good luck, Naruto." The smirk that the fox had before turned into a compassionate smile as he closes his eyes once more and stilled, just like how Naruto had found him.

"..." Naruto stood before the resting fox, mouth agape, trying to redirect his thoughts to something. In the end, he just sat on the branch, eyes dazed while looking in the sky at nothing in particular.

Naruto chuckled at the memory of what had happened on his first night in this world. Looking back at it, he felt that he could've done better than sitting on a branch for ten hours straight before getting hungry and stumbling into civilization.

'Wow I was so lost back then.' Stopping a robber to ask him for some help, having the cops catch up to said robber, fighting off said cops to help said robber, getting arrested by said cops for helping said robber and finally having to wake Kurama up to help bail him out of said arrest by said cops for helping said robber was the first line of events that happened an hour within him fumbling his way into town. On the plus side, he found out that, apparently, Kurama knows how to use Genjutsu. Coming from the giant fox who thinks a Bijudama is the answer to everything, that was honestly unexpected.

'I could've handled it better...' Naruto suddenly remembers a scene of him punching a cop in the face for holding down the robber.

'...Could've totally done way better.' Another scene of Naruto being tackled down by a group of policemen flashes in his mind.

'...' A scene of Naruto being led to a police car in handcuffs with a jacket covering his head slowly plays out from the depths of his memories. He clearly remembers a pair of mother and child who stood in the backgrounds, the mother was covering the child's eyes as he pointed towards the arrested Naruto.

"Alright already! I get it! I'm helpless without you, you bag of fuzz!" The blonde screams aloud while tilting his body backwards. He grasps at his head and pulls on a huge chunk of his hair, as another memory slowly plays out.


"Honestly... are you sleeping or not, you fuzz bag." Naruto grumbles to himself as he pulls out a cloth to wipe the tables of his small shop. His ears twitched when the door bells jingles, indicating that a customer is coming in. Since the shop only experiences an influx of a handful of regular customers, Naruto could pretty much guess who it was without even using his [Chakra Sensing Thingy Power] ™, but he still used it to double check anyways.

"A little bit early to be coming here, isn't it, Issei?"

"That's because there was something I wanted to get at the convenience store early today." A brown-haired teen in a school uniform walks up to the blonde ramen shop owner and puts on a perverse grin.

"...Oh?" Naruto, on seeing the grin, feels like he already knows the answer.

"Yes, you see, I timed it perfectly and have been planning this for almost three weeks now. I aimed the target at the nearby 24/7 convenient store down the street. I tracked down every one of the employees and made notes of their personality, work shift and behavioral patterns. Today was the specific day that Majiwari-san had a ten-hour night shift. Since he has shown lethargic behaviors during his morning shifts I picked him in particular to be my cashier so that I could buy-" The unexpectedly shrewd boy reaches into his uniform jacket and pulls out "-This!" a magazine with a picture of a young woman winking to her readers while barely covering her sizable assets with her hands, in other words, a porno magazine.

'Yup, called it'

"Oppai Oppai Heaven Deluxe Edition! I've been gunning this down ever since it first appeared in that convenient store! After so long... I finally get to hold it and call it mine." The teen begins cradling the magazine like it was his own child while shedding tears of joy... heh, if only that old hag next door could see this.

"...So you spent three weeks getting this?"

The teen in uniform nods.

"Couldn't you have just asked me to buy it for you?"

"But then it wouldn't be considered my child anymore."

"...What about that magazine I bought for you last week?"

"... So anyways, part of the plan involved buying the porn in a stack of other objects to pull off attention to the porn itself. Here I bought this one for you." The uniformed teen, seeing that he was on a losing battle, straightens his back and puts the magazine away only to pull out a game package that he hands to Naruto.

"..." The blonde wordlessly takes the game package and looks down at the cover. It shows a picture of a girl, surrounded by five boys, with flowers in the background. Its title reads "Otome Game: School Love-fest! Capture All The Boys~!" Naruto proceeds to look back up at Issei with a stoic expression as if to silently say "The hell man?"

"Yes! That's exactly the look the cashier gave me! He completely ignored everything else I bought afterwards. I said I was buying it for a friend and well... here you go!" Issei grins and gives Naruto the good guy pose, completed with a thumbs up and shining teeth.

A cartoonish red vein pops out of Naruto's forehead as he throws the game back towards the teen.

The first time Naruto met Hyoudou Issei was when the boy walked into his shop a week after its opening with a rubber ducky comically riding on the glowing red bump in his hair. The teen proceeded to drag himself towards one of the empty tables (nearly the whole shop was empty with one or two stragglers hanging out in the shop, watching the television and passing time with a cup of coffee). Ordering a medium pork ramen, the brunette proceeded to slouch on the table, face meeting wood.

The brunette stayed like that for another two or three hours, only getting up to eat the ramen that Naruto brought, with Naruto sitting at the same table changing the channels on his television to find something fun to watch. Stopping the switch at a comedy channel, the blonde slouched into his chair as well and accompanied the brunette in silence. After a while, the boy turned his head towards the ramen chef and asked with a sullen face

"...Hey, if a man were to see a hole in a bath house wall that leads towards the women's side, it would be his duty to peep at it right?"

"Eccentric people is what makes the world go around." Let it be known that Uzumaki Naruto, under most non-life-threatening circumstances, is a lousy source of knowledge to take advice from. Changing the views of a tyrannical god-complexed warlord? Why not. Changing the judgement of a man who has lost all hopes for humanity and thinks that everything will be better if he illusioned the crap out of the world? Sure. Knocking some sense into his best friend who lost his marbles somewhere between back then and then? Every other week. Cheering up a hormonal teenager who currently looks like his whole viewpoint on the world is on the line? Kurama-sama, a little help?

Thankfully, the brunette managed to draw up a conclusion to his problem. He paid Naruto for the meal and left with a wistful smile.

The second time Naruto met Hyoudou Issei was when the boy dragged himself into the shop two days after the first time. He still had a comical red bump in his head as well. Ordering up a medium pork ramen again, the boy slouched at the table he sat in the last time. This time though, the brunette opened right up when Naruto accompanied him at the table. Apparently, the red bump was from a fail attempt to "slip" at a maid cafe and sneak a peek under one of the maid's miniskirt. Issei laughed at his failure and proceeded to pull out a notebook and show Naruto some perverse plans he has in store for future uses. Naruto chuckled at the teen's antics and Kurama, who was conveniently awake at the time, whispered

"Oh gods, it's like that toad man all over again..."

The third time Naruto met Hyoudou Issei was two days after the second meeting. Issei walked into the shop without any injuries and asked Naruto if he had a Pfp game system. Naruto asked why and Issei said

"So that I can play it here, playing it at home is very nerve-wracking because mom could walk in at any time."

By this point, Naruto knew why it was nerve-wracking if he wants to play his "game" at home but he pointed out that he only had one television to hook the game system up to and it was the one in the shop. Issei, in all his gloriously stupid innocence, walked up to the straggler that seems to like to hang out in the ramen shop drinking coffee and asked if he minded if Issei played his game here.

In the end, Issei, Naruto and the straggler named Dertaerg or something (Issei and Naruto decided to call him Dert) played the dating simulation together. They managed to somehow unlocked and completed one of the secret routes that were surprisingly tear-jerking and emotional. Dert left the ramen shop in tears, saying that he's off to go buy the game for himself. Issei left afterward but not before getting a promise out of Naruto that he won't play the game while Issei isn't around. Naruto closed down the shop and started playing it anyways. Kurama helped out a bit and somehow discovered the super-secret hidden Easter egg for unlocking the Kitsune route. They pulled an all-nighter finishing that route, it was very touching. Kurama, the previous embodiment of fear and evil, teared up a little.

Issei ended up being a regular to Naruto's ramen shack after coming at an average of three or four times a week. He always orders a medium pork ramen and asks a random goofy request. Naruto, for reasons he doesn't really understand, complied with most of those requests. Whether it was giving advice on perverse plans to buying a... specific game or magazine, Naruto never could've said no to his perverted friend.


"So what game is it this time?" A patron walks into the empty ramen shops with a cup of coffee in hand. He sees the owner setting up a gaming console in the middle of the shop and asks this while he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Hey, Dert! We're planning on playing an otome game that I brought for Naruto." Poking his head out from behind the kitchen's door, Issei greets the man.

"Oi Issei! Don't just make your own ramen like that, it's my shop! Not a snack bar! And you, Dert! Order some ramen or something, stop drinking coffee dammit!"

"Ohhhh, so Naruto-san's into guys, huh? That explains why there are no girls in this little group."

"Yeah, I figured that too. That's why I bought him this game."

"OI!" Naruto takes the game disc out of the box cover and tosses the cover at Issei.

"Oh, Naruto's done setting up. Let's play!" Issei ducks under the thrown item and starts eating the bowl of ramen in his hand as he walks out the kitchen.

"We're playing as a female lead, right? What do we name her?"

"..." To answer Dert's question, Naruto picks up the controller and types in a name with it.

"Seriously?" Issei cringes at the name typed.

"I wish you luck with finding a boyfriend, Uzumaki Naruko-san." Dert gives a two-finger salute to the newly christened game character.

"It's asking us difficulty we should pick." Naruto moves the game along and goes to the next screen.

"Try the super hard mode, I wanna see what'll happen."

"Kay." Agreeing with Issei, Naruto clicks the super hard difficulty option and skims over the introduction, something about a high school girl making friends and finding love. He sped through most of it. As they get to the first encounter, Naruto slows down so that they can read the dialogue.

{Kagemura: "Who are you and what are you doing on this campus." [Answer him truthfully] [Hit Him] [Defend] [Magic] [Run Away]}

"Hng! What kinda dating sim is this!? It turned into a turn base RPG!" Issei chocks down a mouthful of ramen when he sees the choices available.

"This Kagemura person is obviously the offending party, talking to a young woman without even introducing himself. You can fight back and shift the blame onto him. Try using magic." Dert, meanwhile, takes the analytical approach to problem-solving.

"Kay." Naruto clicks the magic option and a list shows up.

{[Strengthen] [Magic up] [Defense up] [Meteor] [Holy Nova] [Armageddon: Age of Absolute Disparity]}

"Hm, a versatile move set. Issei-kun what do you think we should pick." Dert nods in understanding and asks Issei for an opinion.

"None of the above! We're trying to get a boyfriend, not a corpse!"

"This Kagemura person might like strong girls. If he survives, we might unexpectedly get some benefits."

"Might survive isn't good either!"

"Psst, Naruto, there's a few pixels off on the bottom right. It might be a secret option. Pick that." While Dert and Issei, Naruto hears Kurama whisper this to him.

"..." Naruto squints his eyes to see the pixels that Kurama was talking about and after spotting them, moves his curser to navigate towards the secret option and click up.

"Oh, as expected of a ramen chef to have eyes for details, you've found a secret option without even trying." The screen flashes red and when the scene is shown again, Kagemura is on the floor with a sword stabbed in his stomach.

{Kagemura: "KUH! So you have bested me. Well, it's not like I was that important anyways. I've already accomplished my job. Now, The Queen knows you're here. She has conquered the hearts of all the boys in this school already. You won't be able to beat her..."}

{Mission Update: Defeat The Queen and take her harem of boys as yours.}

"...Is this what's romance for girls are like? Man, I'm glad I was borne as a guy." Issei makes a complicated face as the game goes on.

"We're finally at the final boss..." After a few hours of gaming, Naruto mutters this in exasperation.

"How the hell did we manage to save the earth twice already and still not have reached the final boss beforehand?" Issei reads the text scrolling along and mutters as well.

"You know what? Why's the main character fighting the enemies anyways?" Dert, in between coffee sips, points out one of the game's various plotholes.

{The Queen: "Welcome Hero, to my castle!"}

"Wow, they completely forgot about the romance altogether, didn't they? Pretty sure that's a line straight from DragonGuest."

Naruto rolls his eyes at Issei's comment and was about to click the continue button when Kurama cuts in.

"Naruto! My gamer senses are tingling! There is a secret route incoming!"

{The Queen: "But before we fight... what flavor of ice cream do you like?"}

A long list of options pops up on the screen.


"I'm getting a feeling that the main character is into coffee flavor ice cream." Dert inputs his opinion as he takes a sip the coffee cup which dubiously sounds like it's still full.

"You're in a ramen shop, obviously it's ramen-flavored ice cream." Naruto rebukes Dert's comment and makes his own choice. He continues to scroll through the options to find his choice.

"Do they even make that?" Issei asks this with a bit of confusion.

"It's something I've been working on." Naruto pauses in his quest to find the option of ramen ice cream to say this. He points at a tub of orange ice cream in Dert's hand. "It's that one."

"Though not as flavorful as coffee ice cream... this is still surprisingly good..." The middle-aged man takes bite out of the blank ice cream box.

"Wait a minute, when'd you get that?" Issei looks down from the box of ice cream up to Dert. "You didn't go into the kitchen, right?"

"It was on the table the whole time. Didn't you get it when you made your ramen?" Dert blinks and looks owlishly back at Issei.

"No, I didn't even know that was a thing. Naruto?" Issei turns his gaze to Naruto.

"I've been playing the whole time..." Naruto waves the controller in his hand as he returns looks back at Dert and Issei.

{The Queen: "Oh, that was me. I got hungry while waiting for the Hero to arrive, so I sneaked a bite. I apologize for not saying so beforehand but I felt like that would've broken your emersion. It was quite flavorful, chef-san. I have added it as a flavor in the options down at the bottom of the list."}

Naruto, Issei, and Dert stare at the television.

{The Queen: "Oh, shoot! Did I break the immersion? Sorry, let me get back to the story. Ahem... So, Hero, answer the question or die. What will it be?"}

"... I heard that too much gaming is bad for your head. Let's go for a walk instead."

"...I agree. I also need to get a fresh pot of coffee."

"There's a new cafe down the street. I heard they had a really good parfait special and red bean soup. I also need to scope out their lunch competition."

"Oh, you mean the one with the cute waiters? Let's go!"

"Guess I'll tag along. I wonder what their coffee is like."

Pan! Naruto, Dert, and Issei leave to go to the cafe that Naruto brought up.

{The Queen: "Hello? Are you still there? Hellooooooo~. Please don't leave like that. At least save and turn me off. Hellooooooo~... Muuuuu."}

The Queen, seeing that they left for real, calls out to them in the off chance that they might turn around. After seeing that they aren't, she starts pouting before she grabs the game's cursor to use it and hit the save button on the screen. A moment later, a figure climbs out of the game system and turns off the television.

Naruto came home to interesting news after parting with Dert and Issei.

"So you're saying that you're a youkai?" He asks a one-foot tall silver-haired girl with metallic wings and a halo that's more like a game disc.

"Yes, I am a tsukumogami of the game "School Love-Fest!" that you were playing earlier." The one foot tall... fairy? monster? youkai? said with pride as she sat on her knees.

"...Didn't the legend say that you're supposed to be a hundred-year-old?" He asks as he points at the Wikipedia page, he pulled up on his phone screen.

"Ah... yes, that is a long story. Usually, that is the case but my circumstances are...special." She pauses and looks at Naruto to silently ask if he wants to hear it. Seeing as he had nothing better to do, Naruto sat on one of the shop's chair and gestured the girl to continue.

"Please make yourself comfortable before I begin my story." She pauses again when Naruto slouched into his chair and pull out a box of ramen ice cream.

"You see, the game "School Love-Fest!" is a spin-off series to the original game "Love School-Fest", a popular dating simulation series. Originally, the manufacturer wanted to aim for the female side of gaming populace while still keeping some of the manliness for the main character. Due to the head programmer's addiction to the F*nal Fantasy series, he based the spin-off series off of that. For some reason, the manufacturers accepted the idea and began producing the first hundred copies." The youkai-game paused in order to prepare herself for the tragedy she'll have to relive.

"They finished the production of the first hundred batches of "School Love-Fest!" before they got the results from their free trials. The results were... less than favorable. Most reviewers left after the first ten minutes. If the game had gone out then the reviews, based off the trial run, would've ruined the company's reputation. The project was scrapped. The one hundred copies were to be scrapped and all data of the project were to be wiped. I... was lucky to have been misplaced. Though not so lucky as to have been far away when my... siblings, were scrapped. One by one. They were thrown into the chute... Torn to pieces... Destroyed beyond all comprehension. From number one to number ninety-nine... they were scrapped."

She stopped herself to take a calming breath. Naruto sat there with a straightened back; the box of ramen ice cream put away in order to show respect for the seriousness. Honestly, this was not what he was expecting.

"...Being the last member of my siblings, I decided to fulfill the task that I was made for, in order to honor my sibling's memories. After such a long year, a boy finally bought me. I was finally used... and you looked past the flaw of my programming. The three of you continued to play with me even when the others left after ten minutes. You allowed me to fulfill my purpose. I was happy...no... I was beyond happy. I fulfilled the wish to my siblings. At that moment, I and the ninety-nine souls felt contentment and me, the tsukumogami of the game "School Love-Fest!", was borne. For giving me my dearest wish, I thank you... master." The little fairy kowtowed to the blonde. She held that position for several seconds before sitting back up again. She continued to sit there with a stoic face and stared at Naruto. It took him a couple of minutes to figure out that she was waiting for his judgment.

"...Uzumaki Naruto, ramen chef extraordinaire, the proud owner of Uzumaki Ramen. Stay as long as you'd like." Though it seemed redundant, he stood up an offered a hand for the small fairy to shake.

"Matsuri, tsukumogami of the game "School Love-Fest!", proud youkai of Uzumaki Naruto. Please take care of me." She gave another low bow before taking his ring finger and middle finger into her hands and shook it.

"Matsuri, can you carry this to table seven?" Naruto puts a large bowl of ramen onto the counter that separates the kitchen the dining hall.

"Of course, Naruto-sama." Matsuri walks by and takes the bowl while leaving another two script of food orders before she quickly paces towards the indicated table for the bowl.

"Can I get a refill on the pork ramen over here!"

"Of course, sir." As she is walking by, another customer calls out to her, causing her to pause and jot down the order to pass to Naruto. "Naruto-sama, another large pork ramen for table five."

"Yeah, got it!" Naruto yells out as he makes another bowl. Upon ladling the broth, he notices something very wrong.

"Why's everyone eating so much! If this keeps up, there won't be enough for me anymore!" As he goes to pass off the bowl of refill to Matsuri, he whispers urgently to her. "Matsuri, close down the shop now. It's the only way to safeguard whatever ramen we have left."

"It's only lunch hour Naruto-sama, the crowd will calm down soon enough. If you want, I could make some more for you after work." Matsuri, taking the blonde's order in stride, smiles at Naruto, gives a calm reply and then leaves to refill some drinks and clear up the vacated tables for the next group of customers.

"...Damn ungrateful customers... When I was the chef and waiter, nobody came but when Matsuri took over, everybody comes... damn source of income... stealing all my food..." Naruto wistfully stares the large pots of ramen broth that only has roughly a quarter left for each flavor. His heart aches at how empty it is.

"Naruto-sama, one large beef ramen with an extra hardboiled egg slice." As he does so, Matsuri passes by with another stack of orders in hand. Seeing it brought tears to Naruto's eyes.


-Later That Day-

"Yo Naruto, can you get me a pork ramen?" Issei opens the front entrance to the ramen shop and walks in. Immediately, he jumps to the side, narrowly missing a flying cleaver as it embeds itself into the wall that he had stood in front of a scant moment ago.

"We're close, you parricidal source of incomes! Get out! Leave my ramen alone!" Naruto struggles vainly against Matsuri's armbar hold as he tries to throw another knife in his hand.

"Calm down, Naruto-sama! The customers are gone now! It's just Issei-san. I'll make you a new batch of ramen, okay? Please calm down~!" While she holds back the rampaging blonde, Matsuri whispers calming words to Naruto.

"...Dert, explanations?" Issei crawls over to the table he usually sits at and looks at Dert, who's sipping on his coffee and ignoring the drama unfolding in favor of the comedy channel on the television.

"Hm? Oh Issei-kun, you've missed the best part. You should have seen it happened when Naruto-san chased off a pair of customers with a ladle. Matsuri-san intervened at the nick of time." Dert looks down to see the brunette and chuckles. He points at a ladle embed to the wall of the shop and then at Naruto, who's in a fetal position now, chanting for ramen, and Matsuri, who's trying to get Naruto to stand up.

"Okay…? I'm going to need some more details than that, old man." Seeing Naruto away from any sharp objects and projectiles, Issei decides that it's safe to sit down at the usual table now.

"Well, that little silver-haired lady over there-" Dert points at the Naruto and Matsuri pair "-is named Matsuri. From what I've seen from earlier at lunch, she's a new employee. Apparently, she's also the new cook too."

"From what you've seen? You don't know then? How'd you figure that out?"

"The food isn't subpar anymore. I personally ate two bowls myself."

"Whoa, I've gotta try that. I can't believe you actually ate anything from here." Issei stares wide eyed in disbelief at Dert and his constant coffee cup. He turns back towards the drama pair and asks, "So what happened to Naruto?"

"Withdrawal symptoms."

"Withdrawal symptoms?"

"Yes. You know how his usual business goes?"

"Three or four customers a day, including us." Issei considers the question a second before saying this with a bit of certainty.

"Matsuri-san over there decupled that in an hour at lunch rush."

"Ten times?!" Issei's eyes widens again as he takes a new look at the girl who's talking to the downed Naruto.

"Yes, so you'd figure that the ramen stock would be next to nonexistent right now."

"But what does that have to do with Naruto? Shouldn't he be glad that he got more customers?" Issei focuses on the shivering blonde huddling in the corner of the room. He's stopped muttering to himself and is now shaking like a leaf. Matsuri puts a blanket over him and rushes to do something in the kitchen. "What's Naruto having withdrawals from?"

"...Issei-kun, do you know what Naruto-san normally does with his leftover stocks?"

"No?" Issei looks at Dert questionably. "Well, whenever I come by, he usually has quite a bit of stock left so doesn't he throw it out at the end of the day?"

"...No, he usually eats it all. I'd know, I was invited to dinner once."

"Eh?! But... that's like... six pot full of ramen broth." Issei did some quick calculations in his head and got a shocking answer. "...He eats sixty large bowls of ramen a day!?"

"You can see why he's suffering from the withdrawal symptoms now." Dert stands up and walks towards the kitchen. "Come on, we should help Matsuri-san cook Naruto-san some ramen."

"..." Silently follows the middle-aged man to the kitchen where he catches glimpses of Matsuri busying herself making a bowl of ramen to ebb Naruto over. He takes one last glance in the blonde's direction and sees him taking solace in a corner of the room. Naruto's chanting for ramen again, which was good…? Worryingly, that was all that Issei could hear for the next hour that it took to cook the noodle broth to edibleness.

"Narutoooooo~. I'm boredddddd~." Issei bemoans himself as he lazily slouches onto the table.

Matsuri passes by and gives him a cup of tea. He nodded his thanks before looking back at Naruto. During the past weeks, he and Dert got to know the waitress/chef/Naruto's caretaker better. The girl seems to live with Naruto in the second story of the ramen shop and for whatever reason, seems to positively worship the blonde in all his uselessness. Normally he would be extremely jealous to see a cute girl dedicate herself to a guy like this but for some reason, he's not. Matsuri is just so much like... a bro that he can't seem to squeeze out even an ounce of jealousy against Naruto.

It's not that she's masculine or anything, in fact, he would say that she has a terrific body and dresses very cutely to fit in with her figure. A woolen sweater over a white t-shirt that emphasizes her upper body with black yoga pants hugging her legs that are cut off by a pair of knee-high boots. It's just... he can't seem to find any interest. It's just like looking at Naruto or Dert, nothing. It wasn't just him, even Matsuda and Motohama couldn't find anything with the perfect hot female type that is Matsuri. Therefore, in all his brilliance, Issei came up with only one possible answer. Matsuri is just a bro. That is the only possible explanation. Whether this implies that Matsuri is secretly a dude or that she's just really cool with guys is up for debate. Issei is not complaining about not knowing, so is Dert. Anyways, back to the current problem.

"...Issei, I never really bothered to ask but, don't you have homework or something? You come here practically every day and yet I never see you doing any schoolwork." Naruto paused his dating sim to approach Issei about his studies.

"Now that Naruto-san mentions it... Issei-kun, how is your schoolwork." Erg! Dert seems to also be taking an interest since Naruto stopped playing his game.

"...Uh...I...do so and so...I guess..." Suddenly, Issei kind of wishes that Naruto would get back to his gaming... shouldn't he be working right now?

"So and so huh? Matsuri!" Naruto squints his eyes in suspicion and snaps his fingers. Matsuri immediately pulls out a piece of paper from the inside sleeve of her sweater, when did she even get that?

"Yes, Naruto-sama. Hyoudou Issei/Sex Male/ Age 16/ Height 5'6/ Weight 61 kilogram/ Grades: Japanese (54); English (46); Social Studies (51); Mathematics (60); Science (58)/ Special Notes: Has been sent to detention on more than one occasion for being caught peeping during and before lunch break in the female dressing rooms./ Dreams and aspirations: 'I want to become a harem king!'" Matsuri dutifully reads the sheet in her hand and even went as far as to accentuate the exclamation mark at the end of 'king!'.

Issei pales the minute she got to grade and by the time she finished, he was giving her the "The hell man?" look that Naruto usually gives him. She sees the look and answered back with her "Anything for Naruto-sama." smile. Where'd she even gets that kind of information? Has Naruto been stalking him the whole time? And even if he had, how'd he figures to keep that piece on him (through Matsuri) today? Has he been compromised?! Was Naruto's ramen spiked the whole time to brainwash him?!

"I (read as Matsuri) went and asked your teacher yesterday when I got curious." Naruto cuts off Issei's train of thought before he could continue. "Dert has brought it to my attention that I've been a bad influence by letting you stay here to goof off every day." Issei's glare at Matsuri did a 180 and turned onto Dert. The middle-aged man suddenly picked up an interest in Naruto's dating sim and started playing it himself while Naruto gives Issei a reproaching look.

"Well...what... about you! You're so lazy I bet you didn't do any work when you were in school either!" Trying to shift the topic, Issei moved onto Naruto's educational life. The blonde has stated outright that he's only two years older than Issei yet he's opened up the ramen shop last year. Chronologically speaking, that would suggest that Naruto dropped out of high school in order to work.

"Yes, I never did like school. That's why I worked hard to graduate at twelve." Naruto coolly replies with a completely straight face. It doesn't seem like he's lying either. Seriously?! Graduated at twelve? Wouldn't that make him some sort of super genius? Why is he working at a ramen shop then!

"Geh...Um... What about Dert over there! He never seems to be doing anything except for hanging around h-" Issei was cut off mid-tirade when Dert readily pulls out a small book from his well-worn suit and opened it up to a specific page for Naruto, Matsuri, and Issei to read. There were some numbers and words that Issei couldn't make sense of, but Naruto seemed to understand as he looks at Dert in disbelieve.

"You make a hundred million yen a month?! Buy some ramen with some of that money then you cheepo!" What?! Dert makes what?! Seriously? Is this some joke?

"Yes, this is definitely an authentic balance book from the Saaitama Resona Bank that seems to be well used. Naruto-sama uses the same bank, so I would know its legitimacy. This does indeed prove that Dert-san makes quite a sum." Matsuri confirms Naruto's outburst after leaning forward and analyzing the book. Damn Dert and his cocky smile, how Issei wishes he could wipe it off.

"Well then, there you go Issei-kun. Good luck with your education~!" Seriously Dert, damn you.

"If you need any help, ask Matsuri. I expect you to finish all your schoolwork today or you're not going home." Damn lazy genius blonde ex-ramen chef get back to your porn game.

"Try your best, Issei-kun." Whoa~ Matsuri~ she's such a bro~ Why can't he feel anything for her dammit!

Issei ended up having a sleepover a Naruto's house due to the fact that he was very behind on his schoolwork. Who knew the lazy blonde was so strict, geez?

*Ding Dong* *Knock Knock Knock* *Patapatapatapata*

"What the hell was that?!" Naruto jolts awake at the sound of his doorbell ringing. "We don't even have a doorbell!"

"A mailman perhaps?" Matsrui, in her one-foot-tall youkai form, flies off the pillow next to Naruto's futon and lands on Naruto's shoulder.

"At three in the morning? Who'd be awake at this kind of time?!"

"…I am. You're too loud, brat."

"Naruto-sama, who was that? I just heard a voice!" Matsuri jolts up as well on Naruto's shoulders and looks around for the source of the deep and irritated sounding voice.

"Oh, that's the disembodied lazy, giant, invisible nine tailed fox that freeloads here. Don't worry about him, he's awake like 1% of the day."

"...I am not lazy, brat... It is just that our energy expenditure... exceeds my own natural production capabilities... so I have a enter a meditative hibernation in order... to mass produce as well as to conserve more energy... understood?"


"Ah, sorry mister disembodied, giant, invisible nine tailed fox. Naruto-sama fell asleep after you said expenditure."

"...Keh! Forget the ungrateful brat... I'm going back to sleep... And just call me Kurama, tinier brat."

"Yes, mister Kurama. Have a good rest."




"...WAKE UP ALREADY!" Kurama, getting irritated from Naruto's snoring, sends a jolt of chakra through Naruto's nervous system, making the blond feel an instantaneous but unbearable jerk of pain.

"OUCH!" Naruto jumps awake at the pain and falls on his ass. He looks around confusedly while trying to get his bearings. "...Huh...Where am I? What am I doing? Where's the bed?"

"You're in your room, you were answering the door and the bed is over there, Naruto-sama." Matsuri dutifully answers Naruto's questions while balancing herself on top of Naruto's shoulder as he wobbles around to get up.

"Oh, right. I was answering the door. That's what I was doing." Naruto unsteadily walks towards the door and opens it. Seeing as there was no one there, he made the actions to close it before Matsuri interrupts him.

"Naruto-sama, they seemed to have left a package for us."

"...Huh? Ah, nice catch." Naruto looks down at Matsuri's prompt and sees an envelope taped package. He picks it up and closes the door. Walking over to the center of the room, he puts the package back down near his futon. "...Hmmm, there's no billing address or return address and it doesn't have a sender name either. What do you think Matsuri?"

"I'm not sure Naruto-sama but why don't we have a look at the letter first? Perhaps that will give us more insight on the matter."

"Right. Here goes nothing." Naruto picks up the envelope and opens it. Inside was a three-page letter that was stapled together. The first page's top right corner had the words "For the eyes of Uzumaki Naruto only" and some kind of scrawl in the footer. "Well, I guess this is for us then."

Dear Naruto Uzumaki-sama

'Congratulations on obtaining a youkai family member! Our organization was very happy to discover that the newest youkai member to be born to our race has already found herself a loving family. It was a very big surprise to find out that the newest member is a tsukumogami no less. You are a very fortunate man, Uzumaki-sama, as the tsukumogami types are a rather useful race in normal urban life. Not only do they have a natural infinity for illusion magic, but they are also known for being extremely loyal and are semi-divine bringers of good fortunes.

There are three things we must warn you about having a youkai family member though. The first of the warnings is that you must not, under any circumstances, divulge the fact that your newest family member is a youkai to any party who is not affiliated with the supernatural side of this world. There is an obvious reason for this but in case you need an example, the Salem witch trials in the Americas, the Loudun Demonic Possessions in France and the events recorded in Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. In all of these cases, the normal world is introduced to the supernatural and the outcome was less than savory.

The second warning is that we ask you to not abuse your tsukumogami's gifts to your own cause. There have been many times since this organization's founding where we've had to personally involve ourselves into the lives of other youkai owning families. None of those cases ended prettily. Please do not make use of your tsukumogami's loyalty to do something she would regret.

The third warning is that there are lurkers out there who will want to separate you from your family member. Though this is an uncommon occurrence, our organization would still like to take precautions. Inside the box that is to come with this letter is a stack of high class Kekkai seals made by the greatest seal masters in our organization. Please follow our instructions in the next page in order to set the protection and evil warding seals.

Again, congratulations on your new youkai family member! Please live a long and happy life.

Sincerely, Co-leader of the Japanese Youkai Force, Kyuubi no Yasaka.'

"...You know, I should be very surprise right now but I'm not feeling it. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. I'll worry bout this tomorrow." Naruto looks through the other two pages to see that it was instructions on how to set up the barrier seals the letter talked about. He gives it a half-hearted read and tosses the letter onto the box. Afterwards, he crawls back into his futon and falls back to sleep while mumbling a short good night to Matsuri.

"Yes, good night Naruto-sama." Matsuri flies off the pillow to organize the paper Naruto haphazardly threw. After she is done, she flies over to the door to relock it, the light switch to turn it off and Naruto's heater to turn on the heat to compensate for the temperature drop caused by the night air's chill. Once she was sure that everything was done, she flies back to the pillow that was settled besides Naruto's futon and drifts off to sleep as well.

"Naruto-sama, wake up. It's time to open the shop, Naruto-sama." The next morning, Matsuri, in her fully humanized form, tries to wake Naruto up after she finished the shop's setup downstairs.

"...Urg, I don't wanna work t'day. Let's just close the shop. We needa set up those barrier seals, anyways right?" Naruto pulls up his blanket to cover his head and huddles up into his pillow.

"Very well Naruto-sama." Hearing his order, Matsuri goes downstairs to turn the "OPEN" sign in the front entrance back to the "CLOSE" one. She then goes over to the kitchen to clean up the day's business preparations and store them away. After everything is done, she walks back upstairs and kneels before the sleeping Naruto.


"..." Stares


"..." Stareeeeees


"..." Stareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

"Alright! I'm awake already! Stop staring!" Within a minute, Naruto throws off the blanket and jumps up to his feet. He hurries to the bathroom to get away from Matsuri's stare.

"...Good morning Naruto-sama." Matsuri smiles faintly before she goes downstairs to, again, bring out the preparations for the day.

"So what was I going to do again?"

"You had plans on layering the house with the protective barrier seals Naruto-sama."

"Right, that." Naruto opens the box and pulls out a package of flour. "...What is this for then?"

"Salt, beef, pork, flour, eggs, and other ingredients... I think this is the necessities to making ramen from scratch." Matsuri crouches down to the box and unpacks the ingredients. At the end of it all, she pulls out another letter. "There's another letter addressed to you, Naruto-sama."

"...Let's read it then." Naruto takes the letter and rips the envelope open. Inside is another letter with the same scrawl in the footer.

P.S. My scouts, whom I have sent to check up on you and your new family member, have also reported to me some grievous news. Since tsukumogami-san appearance, it seems that your shop has experienced an influx of customers due to tsukumogami-san's takeover as the chef. The scouts also held a random survey with the customers of the shop. It seems that the "new chef" is more preferred to than the old one. As a fellow cook and the head of my own family, I know how dishonorable it feels to be shown up by a new upstart but not being able to do anything about it. Therefore, I have devised a plan to help you improve. Within this letter is the super-secret Kyuubi ramen recipe that has been in my family for countless generations. I trust that you will use it well.

Good luck, Uzumaki Naruto.

Sincerely, Co-leader of the Japanese Youkai Force, Kyuubi no Yasaka.

P.P.S. I don't think you "sucked ass" as my scouts have reported from their surveys. I will give them a scolding for having such a bias against your honorable personage. Please keep on preserving!'

"... Matsuri, open the kitchen."

"Didn't you want to close the shop today, Naruto-sama?"

"No, I have to show up those ungrateful bastards I call customers." Naruto's eyes ignite with a fiery passion.

Ding Dong Ding Dong

"Matsuda! Motohama! Don't leave me!" Issei screams and reaches out to grabs his two friends by their ankles before they could get too far away. Matsuda and Motohama, not expecting Issei's rise to drag them to hell as well, tripped when Issei managed to hold them back.

"Issei you bastard! Let go and take one for the team!" Matsuda in all his bald glory attempts to kick away Issei's hand even as he falls. It didn't accomplish much besides making Issei hold onto their ankle even tighter.

"Issei! Hurry and let go! They'll be here any moment!" Motohama struggles against Issei's clutch as the boy slowly pulls him and Matsuda back to where they tripped him.

"Kukukuku, consider this karma my friends! If I go down, we all go down!" Issei laughs maniacally as he holds tightly onto the ankles of his two perverted bastard friends.

"There they are! Get them, girls!" A group of angry girls rounded the corner to see the three perverts that they caught peeping on them. Justifiably angered, they chased down the perverts for being perverts and proceeded to stomp the ever-loving lights out of the miscreants.

"NOOO! NOT THE FACE! NOOO! OUCH! UGH! OUCH! NOOO! NOT DOWN THERE! AHHHH!" Matsuda and Motohama scream out loud while Issei takes on his punishment laughing like a maniac.


-Issei's class-


"Safe!" Issei jumps through the door of his classroom and rushes towards his seat. He unceremoniously tosses the two beaten corpses on his shoulder into the general direction of their seat. Now they can't say that he didn't care. After all, it was thanks to their sacrifice in easing the mob girls' anger that Issei himself escaped relatively unharmed. It might've also had something to do with the fact that he was laughing like a crazy hyena while the girls were stomping them, whichever worked. Sliding straight into his chair, he managed to pull off the same sitting positions as the rest of his classmates (sans Matsuda and Motohama who are laying sprawl out on their desks, Matsuda in particular has his face on his chair and his ass sticking straight up) just as the teacher walks in.

It is currently the period after lunch so Issei had expected the strict yet friendly Toshio-sensei to come and teach math. However, instead of the usual balding fifty-year-old man coming in with his little packets of worksheet, a beautiful blonde woman came walking in instead. She had on a tight-fitting suit on with an equally tight fitting skirt covering dark brown stockings. Her golden blonde hair was put into a bun and she exuded a very mature aura. Normally, Matsuda, Motohama, and Issei would definitely jump up and shouted out "SEXY TEACHER!" while the class would either look at them in disgust or outright ignore them.

This did not happen however as both Matsuda and Motohama are both out of action while Issei realized a very, very scary thing when the "sexy teacher" walked in and flashed him an almost unnoticeable glance and a knowing smirk. That "sexy teacher" is his friend. That "sexy teacher" is his friend whom he meets almost every day for the past year. That "sexy teacher" is his extremely lazy and ramen addicted friend whom he knows does not have any cross-dressing hobbies. That "sexy teacher" was Naruto.

So there Issei sits, elbows propped on the table with his face leaning forward while being held back by his clasped hands. He twists his face with absolute concentration as he tries to make sense of the situation. Why is Uzumaki Naruto (a guy) dressed as a (hot) teacher and in his class? Where is Toshio-sensei? Worse off, why the hell is he feeling a thing for Naruto?!

Naruto walks up to the teacher's desk and puts a stack of papers on it before picking up a piece of chalk. He(?) starts writing on the blackboard.

No, that's probably not Naruto. She looks a lot like Naruto but that's it. Naruto doesn't exude that kind of mature and teacher-like aura. He exudes lethargy. That teacher person is probably a substitute for Toshio-sensei. Toshio-sensei did say his wife is pregnant, he's probably off because of that. Yeah, this teacher is probably the substitute for Toshio-sensei. Wasn't there a legend that says everyone got someone else who look like them in this world? What was that called? A duble ganger? Double gang? No wait... it was doppelganger. Yeah. That lady is probably Naruto's doppelganger. Lucky, bastard. To have such a hot doppelganger. Oh? She's saying something, better start listening.

"Hello, class! Your teacher, Toshio-sensei, received an urgent call this afternoon informing him that his wife is in the emergency maternity ward. He rushed off after informing the principle but since there were no readily available substitutes, I who happened to have passed by was asked to fill in. You may call me Naruko-sensei, treat me well for today, no?" The blonde gave a cutesy smile, tilting her head and sparkles.

Issei's head slammed into his table. It started raining outside as "Naruko-sensei" began the lessons that Toshio-sensei prepared before he left. Issei spent the class period staring out at the raining sky, devolving his minds of his surrounding and the strange situation. Matsuda and Motohama didn't wake up until class ended. Closely missing "Naruko-sensei's" leave.

It was pouring loudly outside. By the time school had ended, the weather took a turn for the worse and poured everything it had onto the ground. From what Issei can see, it was flooding a little too. The students with umbrellas banded together and ran towards their house as quickly as they could before it could flood more. Matsuda and Motohama disappeared after class ended and Issei discovered that his umbrella was mysteriously missing. He takes one more look at the weather and sighs to himself.

"...Some friends those bastards are."

"No kidding, I saw them running out of school using your umbrella."

Issei didn't need to turn around to know who was walking up on him. After all the owner of that same tone was the topic of his thoughts for most of today's school period. It also helps that there were students loudly waving their goodbyes to the (fake) teacher and yelling "her" name.

"...Don't you have a ramen shop to run?" Issei squats down and takes a sit on the stair's step after figuring he might as well wait out the rain rather than getting wet.

"Matsuri can take care of herself." Naruto takes a seat next to Issei.

"...What are you even doing here, in that?" Issei gives Naruto a sidelong glance to see that the blonde was even faking the way he sits so that he gives off a "feminine" vibe.

"I came to give the school report that Matsuri borrowed earlier back. I thought you might've like it if I was a hot chick." Naruto smirks at Issei as he catches the brunette's sidelong glance.

Now that Issei looks up close, he has to admit that Naruto is doing an amazing job of crossdressing. Honestly, Naruto's body actually looks natural in what he's wearing. Normal crossdressers go for the conservative but overall cutely dressed style, kinda like Matsuri, but Naruto jumped right past that. From just what Issei could see and analyze of Naruto's body, he'd say that Naruto really was a chick. But he knew better.

"You look good, how'd you manage it?"

"Aww, I didn't know you were such a charmer. Of course, I'd look good. I've been practicing this technique since I was twelve after all."

"Since the time you finished school? What'd you want to be?"

"...A ninja."

"You have a strange preconception of ninjas if cross-dressing is part of your job description."

"Mmmhmm, maybe it's the world that has the strange preconception of what ninjas are."

Issei decides that he wasn't feeling like emerging himself in Naruto's strangeness, so he lets the conversation hang off. They both stare at the rain in silence for a minute. Naruto begins turning his head to look around. It's not like there's anything to see, just lockers and stragglers who didn't bring their umbrellas.

"...So you wanna show this beautiful teacher around?"

"...If you'd look to your back, you'd see our school's proud shoe locker area. It is separated by names and years. 1st year is towards the right and 3rd year is towards the left. Since it's raining, we'll end our tour here, thank you and please come again."

"What a wonderful culture this school has."

Issei ignores Naruto's deadpan and kept looking at the rain. Usually, at this time, they'd both be at the ramen shop with Dert and Matsuri. Naruto would be playing some old dating sim that Issei brought a few weeks ago and Dert would be sitting right next to him, giving bad advice and sipping coffee. Issei would probably be chowing down on a bowl of ramen while looking at his homework. Matsuri would be sweeping the shop, wiping the tables, or helping Issei, maybe occasionally bringing Naruto a cup of tea. That kind of lazy atmosphere is now so embedded into Issei that he honestly couldn't bring any energy towards the strangely dress Naruto at this time frame. Naruto's probably feeling the same as they sat in silence.

"So how'd it feel being back in school again?" Issei talks aloud this time to bring up a mundane conversation.

"As boring as it was the first time around. It's different from the place I went to but the atmosphere's around the same."

"School doesn't change?" Issei perks his head up.

"It doesn't." Naruto nods his head down.

"...I see."


The rain continued to pour. Some time passed before either of the two moves again. Naruto stands up and pats the dust off of his skirt before turning towards Issei and saying.

"Well this has been fun and all, but we should head to the shop."


Naruto proceeds to pull out the folded umbrella from his skirt pocket and click it open. As strange as it is that the thing somehow came from a form-fitting pencil skirt, he found it even stranger that the umbrella is big enough to fit two people. The blonde walks down the steps and stops just before entering the rain. He once more turns around to look up at Issei and asks

"You are coming?"

Issei didn't say anything as he walks under the umbrella Naruto held. Honestly, he's got nothing to respond to the blonde's strangeness. All he could say was that it was Naruto being Naruto. there was really no point in Issei trying to figure out his friend's strange train of thought.

As they pass the school gates, Issei sees Matsuda and Motohama returning with their own umbrella while Motohama holds Issei's stolen umbrella in his other hand. If he had to venture guessing, he'd probably bet that the two felt bad for ditching Issei and returned to help him out. The two seemed to notice Issei as well... under the umbrella of Naruto... who's smiling extra cutely while making small talk with Issei. They pass each other without acknowledging the other's existence. Issei because he doesn't actually have a response and Matsuda and Motohama because they're too shock that Issei's sharing an umbrella with the rumored "sexy teacher".

Once they were far enough, Naruto returns to being the lazy man that he is and Issei catches on.

"...That was a horrible prank."

"Your friends were lousier than I anticipated. They took way longer than I thought to return."

"...You owe me a free medium pork ramen."

"Take that up with Matsuri. Now hurry up. I want to finish that other route I started on yesterday."

The two quickly walk to the ramen shop in silence, with the rain accompanying them.