A/N- This is just a little fluffy piece because I needed to write something light hearted after all the time writing Broken, not Shattered.
It is set in the beginning of Season 1 where Emma has just been voted the new Sheriff and Regina is still salty about it. It's like a pre-Swan Queen type of piece. Hope you enjoy!
"For the love of all that is holy Miss Swan, children can do this! How difficult can you really find it?"
Emma huffed and repositioned her arm in hopes of a better result.
"I mean literally, babies do this better than you do every day." Regina continued.
In annoyance, Emma finally snapped, "Believe it or not, Madame Mayor," the blonde drew the title out sarcastically, "but your inspirational pep talk isn't really helping."
The older woman threw her head back and laughed, "Oh really? Now what, pray tell, would help to speed this along?"
Emma resisted the impulse to respond with the first thing that came to her mind ('Maybe if you shut up') knowing that the brunette would make her pay for it later, and went for the second response she came up with, "Could you maybe turn on the faucet?"
"Excuse me, Miss Swan?" The woman replied as though Emma had suggested she hold the cup for her.
"There's no sink in here, just please?"
Regina could easily visualize the blonde pouting with her bottom lip stuck out even though a solid wooden door stood between the two of them.
"Fine." She relented, twisting the worn silver tap beside her so lukewarm water spilled into the sink she was leaning against, "Do you want me to get a cup of warm water to stick your hand in as well?" She asked, laughing at her own joke.
"Don't be ridiculous, that only works if the person is asleep." Emma scolded with a smirk.
"I can knock you out if that would make this go quicker."
The scary thing is that Emma wasn't quite sure if the offer was legitimate or just a joke. She was spared from thinking too seriously about the implication by Doctor Whale's voice floating through the crack beneath the door.
"How's our patient doing?" He asked kindly, a little concerned with the smirk Regina was sporting.
"She's impossible, honestly has anyone ever taken this long before?"
"Don't answer that!" Emma yelled indignantly, "It's not even been that long."
The mayor checked her watch, "It's been twenty minutes, and that's just the time that I've been standing out here. Goodness only knows how long you'd been wasting time before I showed up."
"Would it help if you drank something? I can get you a cup of water." The doctor offered, trying not to get involved in the feud.
Emma groaned, why couldn't everyone just leave her alone, "No thanks, Doc."
"I fail to see why this is so difficult for you." Regina continued as the doctor bowed out to continue in his business.
"That's not the only thing you fail to see." Emma mumbled quietly.
The mayor chose to ignore the jab and deliver one of her own, "I mean, given your past I would have guessed you were quite experienced with this by now."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Emma bristled. If she had been outside the door, she would have seen the proud smile on Regina's lips from finally getting a rise out of the younger woman. She truly loved pushing Emma's buttons.
"Don't get yourself too worked up, dear." Regina mocked, "You have an important task to be focusing on."
"You know what makes focusing easier?" Emma asked rhetorically.
Regina didn't hesitate in answering, "Possessing an attention span longer than that of a common fruit fly?"
"Silence." The blonde mused loudly to herself, completely ignoring the mayor's insult, "Silence really makes it easier to focus on anything."
Regina practically growled at that, but fell quiet for a moment as she leaned against the door and checked her email.
In her temporary solace, Emma tried everything she could, but still nothing. She really needed a distraction, "I still don't understand why this is necessary." She tried for the third time, hoping to weasel her way out of it.
"As I have already told you- and will continue to tell you- drug testing is a regular and mandatory part of the hiring process of Storybook. All new employees have to do it."
"Yeah, but you didn't make me when I first started, it's just now that I'm about to become Sheriff."
The brunette's laughter confirmed Emma's suspicion, "That was an unfortunate oversight which is now being corrected."
"Of course, and 'unfortunate oversight'." Emma mocked.
"If you want, we could always do this twice to make up for the lost first one?" The offer was so sincere Emma nearly blanched.
"I'll pass thanks."
There was a brief moment of silence while Regina checked her watch again, "It's been half and hour! Miss Swan, would you just pee in the damn cup or I'm coming in there!" Regina warned for the last time through the thick door of the bathroom.
"Wouldn't that be a sight..." Emma mused to herself.
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing, Madame Mayor."