AN: This is the end. There is no more. Until I start writing a New Moon sequel that I already started.

Oh yeah . . . I never said anything about keeping canon pairings. Just saying, Shut your mouths now. You'll catch flies. Get reading.

Enjoy.

Chapter 23

It was blue.

"I don't like blue," I informed Alice.

"There's always pink," the ridiculous vampire suggested.

I threw the ugly dress off my bed and rested my head on my pillow. "There's always my trusty lighter and some more hairspray. A bought a case of it off of EBay."

"Sit-up! Don't mess up your hair!" That woman was a menace. My hair was jabbed with pins and my scalp hurt. Alice rushed over to the dress in a huff. "This is vintage, Bella! I'm pretty certain that it was once worn by Audrey Hepburn! Do you see the fine stitching and the way the silk caresses the skin?"

The high-strung vampire started stroking the fabric against her skin and purring. Winston, who normally just hissed the whole time Alice was around, must have found this alluring. He started humping her leg.

"Would you, Winston, and that dress like some privacy? I can skedaddle right out of here." I rolled over and regarded my cat. "Winston, you can do better."

"Get off me, cat! Bella Swan, you better put this dress on right now! I still need to get home and do my own hair and try to stop Rose from killing Emmett before he comes here to pick up Angela." She shook off my offended cat and began pacing the room.

Angela was hiding in the bathroom. Alice had poked and prodded my friend into an Angela doll. The poor girl was covered in sparkles and her boobs were pushed up to look three sizes bigger. It seems giant Emmett was a breast man. This wasn't a surprise to me at all.

It was going to take us hours to remove all the glitter from Angela before returning her home tomorrow morning. The poor girl was terrified of her parents finding out that she was going to the dance. Charlie had convinced the Webers that Angela and I were having a simple sleepover and praying about sin or something. Deceiving them is great fun. When the Webers finally discover our duplicitous nature and tell Ang and I about our futures in hell, I can just smile knowing that it's going to be a party having Angela there with me.

"Bella, I need you to be a team player and let me put this on you." She pulled me off my bed.

"That hurt, demon!" It was bad enough that I had one of those soft casts on my arm from Edward crushing it, but those vampires accidentally broke my leg while trying to get me out of the ballet studio. I think Jasper did it on purpose. He was jealous of my vampire slaying skills. Now I had a huge cast on my leg and had to limp everywhere, unless Edward was carrying me. Being that it was Edward, he was always carrying me.

"Sorry! Since you're up, let's get you naked!" Alice tried to untie my robe and I tried to remove her demonic grip from my waist.

"You're kinky, Al. Does Jasper know you play for both teams? I bet Cowboy Curls does."

Alice just this wistful look in her eyes. Of course, those two would be up to any sexual hijinks. I wonder if I could get her to spill.

"Alice—" She started rubbing my robe. It was getting a tad bit uncomfortable. "Alice, snap out of it!"

"Oh yes! Your dress!" She grinned. "Flashbacks."

"Okay. Umm . . . You need to get ready. Angela can help me get finished." I took her hand and tried to look helpful. "If Rosalie dismembers Emmett, our sweet Angela won't have a date to the dance. If she goes by herself and sees Ben, it will be devastating."

The look the vampire gave me was skeptical. "Are you really saying this to be kind to Angela?"

"Absolutely! When you come back here with Edward and Emmett, I promise to look amazing!"

It was in her best interest not to know what amazing actually meant.

Alice gave me another wary look. "If you promise—"

I pushed her toward the door. "Get pretty for me, Cinderella. Your cranky cowboy wants to take you to the ball."

"Okay." She reluctantly went out of my room.

I waited to hear her say good-bye to Charlie and the front door was shut closed behind her. I knew that Alice was going to be zipping through the trees to start her crazy primping.

"Yo Ang, the tiny dictator is out of the building!" I called.

Angela tripped out of the bathroom carrying a hairbrush. "Operation Anti-Prom starts now?"

"Unpimp me, my friend," I told her. "I look like a hooker."

XXXXXX

Charlie started cackling as soon as I started hobbling down the stairs with Angela's assistance.

"That is fucking great! Excuse my French, kids. That's my girl!" Charlie was laughing so hard, his face turned a bright red. "My prom was, Under the Stars but I guess now its cooler to be goth. Is it a scary movie theme? Terror Under the Moon?"

My father started laughing more at his own jokes.

Alice was not laughing. "What did you do?"

She was livid.

That made Jasper start laughing too. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm impressed. I wish you would let me dress like that."

"Shut up, Jasper!" She hit him hard on the shoulder. The couple looked like they should be going to a speakeasy in the 1920's. Completely outdated, but I couldn't really mock them. They did look great. "At least Angela looks beautiful."

She really did. Alice made her into the belle of the ball. Unfortunately, without her glasses, Angela was blind as a bat. She tripped on a stair and fell right into the arms of a giant wearing a sky blue tuxedo complete with the ruffly shirt underneath.

"You are one smoking hot piece of ass, Weber," Emmett crooned. I think that was a compliment bordering on sexual harassment. "I'm so fucking glad I'm going out with you tonight. You are one gorgeous lady."

Angela blushed and Emmett looked smitten. We were going to have one huge problem with Rosalie.

"Treat that little girl with respect, moron." Charlie slapped the back of Emmett's head. He cringed and rubbed his hand. "Damn boy, you're hard headed."

I looked over at Edward to see his reaction to Emmett's new appreciation of Angela, but he was too busy staring at me.

"Hey," I addressed him.

He continued to stare.

Alice pointed at my tee-shirt that read, Prom Queen Massacre. "I did not approve of that outfit, Edward."

"I wore the push-up bra you got me, Alice. Stop whining." I looked at Edward. "I just couldn't wear that horrific—"

"I didn't think you were going to," he admitted to me. Then there was a little smile. "I might be imaging the bra."

Charlie grabbed an old camera from a nearby table. "Stop imagining my kid's breasts, boy. You all get over by the fireplace. Renee wants me to mail her some pictures."

Emmett snorted. "Chief is talking about Bella's boobies."

"I will arrest all of you Cullens," my father snarled. "A bunch of damn delinquents."

If only poor Charlie only knew the whole truth about all the laws the Cullens broke, he would be in arresting heaven.

Edward whispered in my ear as we stood close for pictures, "I was actually surprised you wore a skirt. I expected dirty jeans."

"Someone broke my leg. Jeans weren't happening."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

I kissed his cheek. "I know. I have forgiven you somewhat. That's why I wore a leather skirt. I know you enjoy the smell of animal hide. I bet its like some weird aphrodisiac to you."

"Seeing you in a skirt is the aphrodisiac." He tucked a finger in the waistband of my skirt. "We're still not making love tonight."

"You damn tease," I hissed and gave him a scowl.

He grinned back at me. "Smile at the camera, love."

Smile? He was cute when he was being ridiculous.

XXXXXX

Prom was held at the clubhouse of Fork's golf course. Due to the unfortunate rainy weather pattern of the town, golf was not a popular sport. The bar, however, was always hopping. Even now, the stools were filled with the owners of the town's businesses and the Mayor. They were all sloppy drunk off of cheap beer.

"Jessie, honey, come see Daddy. Let's get a picture together," Mr. Stanley called out to his daughter. He was so drunk that he could barely stay upright on his stool.

Poor Jessica looked mortified. "Dad, cut it out! Come on, Mike."

She pulled Mike into the main banquet room. I had to do double take when seeing him. His face was covered with make-up to cover up his pimples. It was so thick that it looked like he was wearing a rubbery mask. It reminded me of one of those seventies horror movies that took place at the prom. We already had vampires so a crazed make-up wearing psychopath would fit right in. Tonight might actually be fun.

"Your daughter has developed quite the pair of breasts," the mayor wheezed from his stool next to Mr. Stanley. The mayor was the type of creepy blowhard who thought his combover meant he wasn't going bald and that his plaid golf pants were stylish. It wasn't surprising in the least that he was being completely inappropriate about a teenager.

Mr. Stanley was oblivious to the mayor's leering at his daughter. "My girl takes after her mother. They are both having back problems. I hear there's a good chiropractor in—"

The mayor turned his stool away from Mr. Stanley and instead addressed the head of the local bank. "The way these girls dress at these things makes me want—"

Edward's face turned vicious. His fists were tight. "The horrible things that man is thinking is atrocious."

"You want to rip out his throat, don't you?" I whispered in his ear. Edward's response was a curt nod. "Even though I would love the action, there can't be any bloodshed at the prom. I'll take care of this."

I hobbled quickly as possible to the bar before Edward could stop me and addressed the man. "Excuse me, but do you need me to call my father? He's off-duty tonight but he or one of his deputies would be happy to escort you home."

The mayor looked at me in confusion. "You Chief Swan's girl? Is this a costume party? I like your little skirt."

"Yes, indeed. We're all dressed in costumes tonight." I narrowed my eyes. He was so gross. "I do suggest that you get out of here before there's any trouble. There's an election soon."

I cracked my knuckles and nodded at the exit. Losing an election would be the least of his problems. Edward was ready to decapitate him for having nasty fantasies about my skirt. I didn't need to be able to read thoughts to know that for certain.

The older man blinked rapidly several times and stumbled off his seat. His keys were shaking in his hands. "I guess I should get home to Marge."

"My dad can—

"I'm completely sober, young lady," he slurred.

As he stumbled outside, Alice came over with a grin. "A deputy is outside for the mayor. I gave him a heads up that he's been acting very hostile. They'll later discover he's been stealing money from the town. Prison is not going to be pleasant for him."

"I'll never doubt your hocus pocus anymore, Al," I admitted. "Even though it's a little spotty."

Alice grabbed me and kissed me on my head. "Payback is going to be a bitch when I decided to get back at you for that outfit. I hope you like white lace at your wedding."

"You're evil."

"Vampire, remember? I love being bad sometimes." That was when Alice squeezed my butt. "Have fun, Bella."

"You are amazing, Isabella. I must admit that I'm disappointed that you ruined my fun," Edward stated as we followed Alice and Jasper into the room. There were balloons everywhere under twinkling Christmas lights. I wanted to pop them. "The idea of some carnage is intriguing."

"That's so sexy, Cullen," I said. He kissed my palm.

"Teasing aside, it's also extremely dangerous." He tried to spin me around seductively, but my cast made it a hard move. "When I am in a certain frame of mind, I will—"

"Ravage me in a sexual way?"

He shook his head with a sad smile. "Drain you of all your blood."

"You already did that. Then you wasted all my good stuff by spitting it all over my shirt. You have more control than you think. The fact that you love me makes you stronger." My words made him look at me in wonder.

"And you could possibly—"

"I love you too. I find your faults hilarious and you can be adorable when you want to be." I kissed him. "You need me, Cullen. I'm the only woman in this world who can stand up to you."

"You mean tell me what to do." He hugged me closer. "You're a bossy, little thing."

Tapping his nose, I said, "I learned it from watching you, bossy guy."

"Why don't we go outside for some alone time," he suggested. "There's a gazebo where we can dance."

"Make-out?"

"Yes. I was just trying to be smooth, Bella." Edward sighed. "Can't you just let me try to act like you're my princess?"

"I would prefer to be your saucy harlot, Cullen." I noticed he tried to look annoyed by my words, but a smile was fighting to come out. I was about to pull him out to the gazebo for a heavy kissing session, when I noticed that were being beaten to it by another couple on the dance floor. "Oh shit!"

Edward looked at where I was gawking. "I agree with the oh shit."

It was serious when Edward Cullen let out a curse word. In the middle of the dance floor, Emmett was sucking Angela's face. Both of his giant hands were gripping her ass, but that wasn't the most surprising part. Angela was squeezing his ass too.

"Oh my God! Emmett broke up with Rosalie Hale!" Lauren gasped.

Ben Cheney just stared in shock. I bet he was regretting breaking Angela's heart.

"Rosalie is going to kill them," Edward whispered. "I can hear her thoughts. She's here."

"Here? She would never come here without a date." I wouldn't believe it until I saw it.

"She definitely has one," he told me. I imagined her dragging in Carlisle. Prom with her fake daddy. Edward gently pushed me toward Emmett. "You dance with him and I'll dance with Angela before there's a prom double murder."

We went to the kissing couple and Edward pried them apart. "Rose is here! May I have the pleasure of this dance, Angela?"

Edward bowed to her. Always the gentleman, even with the impending doom of Rosalie's wrath.

I pulled Emmett into my arms and he teased, "You leading, Tinker Bella?"

"Fuck you, jackass. Why are kissing my best friend? You're going to break her!"

"I will not break her! I think I'm in love."

I hit his shoulder. "You just love that Angela is actually nice to you. Aren't you mated to Rosalie?"

His face was scrunched up in thought. "I think that I was thrust into this vampire thing and she told me I was so I believed it. Actually, I think I was just always horny. I don't like Rosalie unless she's vertical and even then she's always yelling at me."

"Listen . . . Would you turn Ang into a vampire?" I was going to turn this conversation to my advantage.

"Hell yeah."

I gave him a big smile. "If you turn her, you turn me."

"Edward—"

"Will be just fine once it's done, Jolly Giant." I glanced at Rosalie who was pulling Eric Yorkie into the room. "Promise me."

"If I don't, I'll make Carl do it. We'll pinkie promise it." He looked over at Rosalie and a nervous looking Eric. "That is so fucking awesome."

Rosalie was an Amazon compared to skinny Eric. She wore a sparkling red dress while his suit was two sizes too big. The striped bowtie he wore was definitely his grandfather's. I couldn't help wondering if Edward had some of those lying around. There could be some very odd yet interesting role-playing possibilities with those bowties.

Emmett let me go and smiled. "I need to man up."

"Let the force be with you, young Jedi."

"You are one cool chick, Swan." Emmett took Angela out of Edward's arms. "I got this, Bro."

"Emmett?" Angela looked surprised.

"I hereby announce that Angela Weber is my girl now. Sorry, Rose." He kissed Angela passionately.

"Shit," Edward cursed again.

"Potty mouth." I wrapped my arms around his waist.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed. "Fine, Emmett."

The demon Barbie grabbed Eric and planted a kiss on him. She pulled away slowly and looked at the dazed boy in surprise. Rosalie whispered, "Wow."

She rammed her cold tongue down his throat and placed both of Eric's hands on her breasts.

"This is fantastic!" I exclaimed. Alice was hopping up and down. Jasper just looked bored as usual.

Edward took my hand. "It appears a divorce is in order. Carlisle will be most displeased."

"Dr. DILF can suck it. They're happy. It's about time." I led him outside. "I'm feeling amorous now."

He pulled me into an embrace and started swaying. "You are quite the cupid aren't you, love?"

"Why don't we change that to lover and you can take me under that bush over there? I'm not a picky girl and I can do naughty stuff anywhere." He just laughed at me and turned me around in a circle. "Why are we dancing to this sappy song?"

The singer was droning on about some abstract concepts in love that must have been a song picked out by some artsy kid from the drama club. I was expecting more songs by boy bands who loved hair gel and tight tee-shirts at this event.

"Its prom and people dance at prom." He twirled me again. "This is heaven."

I gently stroked the front of Edward's pants. "They also have sex for the first time."

"Bella, you're like a broken record. It's either make love or turn you into a monster," He ran a finger down my neck. "If you could choose one—"

"I would choose both because that would certainly make it a night to remember." I stroked his cheek. "You'll be happy."

"I know I would," he said quietly, then he dipped me low. His mouth hovered over my neck. "What if I do right now?"

My heart was beating so fast. I wanted this, but I wanted to eat some more cheeseburgers and fries first. I was still a teenager after all.

"Someday," I told him.

"Perhaps." Edward placed a sweet kiss on my neck.

Someday was the only answer I would except. Edward Cullen was my ticket to forever and if he was going to be wandering around in a hundred years then so would I. He should know by now that I always get my way.

The End