Redemption of A Lost Soul
Disclaimer: Twilight Saga? Yeah, it's not mine. However, this fic is all mine. :D
A/N: To my new readers, welcome, and to my regular readers, welcome back to this exciting new journey we're about to embark upon. :)
Before we start though, I'd like to clarify something. The vampires in this fic are very non-canon from the original books. It will be very AU from the start. So, approach with caution. You've been warned. ;)
Happy reading. :D
Prologue: Freedom Is Hard To Come By
20 June, 1919
Standing by the window, I stared out into the dark night.
To a creature of the night like me, the darkness didn't mean much—except maybe fewer day-walkers around.
To a vampire, the darkness seemed like the perfect camouflage for hunting its most vulnerable prey—humans.
But to me, the darkness meant nothing. It simply signified the fact that I could tick off one more day from my miserable existence until the end of forever.
Perfect, I thought sarcastically.
The shuffling of feet behind me alerted me to the presence of another creature nearby, and I felt my back stiffen.
"Edward, son," my creator, Carlisle, called to me from the door to my bedroom.
"What?" I spat at him, feeling all the resentment from before rushing back to me.
"Did you really mean what you told me a few hours ago?"
His voice sounded small and kind of pitiful. The questions running through his mind sounded even more so. Do you really feel like I'm acting more like your creator than your father? Do you truly resent me that much?
I snorted. "How can I not resent you, Carlisle?" I asked him dryly. "You turned me into this damned creature just because you felt lonely and wanted a pet. And then you forced me to hunt animals instead of what we're meant to hunt—humans."
"No, Edward …" he held a hand up as if asking me to stop talking. "Your mother did ask me to save you with her dying breath. Believe me."
"I'm sure she thought I would be alive still in her delirious state, but you should have known better than to condemn me to the same fate as yours."
"Your soul isn't condemned yet, son," he started, but stopped as I glared at him.
"Right. It isn't condemned yet … and do you know why that is? That's because I don't have a soul to be condemned," I told him bitterly. "I lost my soul when you turned me into your pet monster."
He looked troubled as he sighed. "You are not a monster, Edward, and you're not a pet to me. You're like my son."
"So you say."
My petulant remark made him let out a frustrated groan. "What can I do to prove that I don't feel like I own you? What will it take for you to believe that all I'm trying to do is guide you?"
"Freedom." The words came out of my mouth even before he could finish his question.
"Freedom?" he sounded very confused by my demand.
Straightening myself to my full height, I faced the man who had turned me into a soulless monster … who had turned me into a vampire.
"Yes, freedom," I repeated slowly, almost cautiously. "You say that you don't own me? Then prove it. Let me be on my own for some time."
He looked horrified at the thought. "Edward, are you out of your mind? You're still almost a newborn. What if you go and lose your self-control?"
"That's the thing, Carlisle. I don't think I have enough grasp on the control yet."
"Then why …?" He paused halfway through asking the question, and it seemed to finally have dawned on his mind. He means to go and hunt humans!
"That will be murder!"
"Probably," I replied with a shrug. "Since I don't have a soul anymore, why shouldn't I at least have some fun? Besides, I turned 18 today. I'm an adult. You can't force me to follow you anymore."
He stood there motionless, clearly trying to figure out ways to stop me.
"Look, Carlisle, I'm not saying I'm leaving forever. I just … I just want to see how it feels to drink human blood." When he still kept quiet, I added, "I might come back if you figure out an alternative to animal blood."
He thought for several long moments. When I was beginning to wonder whether he had turned into stone in shock or not, he nodded.
My shock must have been plainly apparent on my face because he spoke in a quiet but determined voice. "You can go and explore your abilities for a little while. But promise me to exercise discretion at the very least."
"I will. Goodbye, Carlisle," I said to him before turning back to face the huge window.
I had already jumped out of the window and moving through the front lawn of the house Carlisle occupied as a physician in the local hospital when the whispered thoughts reached me. May God protect your soul.
"You're thinking about it again, aren't you?" Jasper's voice pulled me out of my reverie, and I turned away from the window.
"I'm not thinking about anything," I said mildly.
My adoptive brother looked at me with concern, most probably trying to read my emotions. "Edward …"
"I'm okay, Jazz, honestly," I told him. "I was just thinking about the sky … it changes with every moment that passes, and yet, it looks exactly the same as it did almost a century ago."
He walked up to me and gave me a tentative smile. "You still feel guilty, don't you, brother? For leaving Carlisle?"
I didn't respond to his assumption, and after a moment, he seemed to gather my silence as a symbol of acquiescence. "Edward, it was a long time ago, and I can tell you that Carlisle feels no resentment toward you anymore. He has truly forgiven you. Let it go."
As if to prove his point, he dropped the thing he was holding precariously on my hand with a thwap. Without even looking down, I knew it was a blood bag.
When about a decade after my desertion, Carlisle tracked me down, he presented me with an alternative to killing humans—blood bags.
He struck a deal with me that he would get me blood bags from the hospital he worked in and in return, I would have to go back home with him.
As much as I resented the promise of cold refrigerated blood, it was still better than animal blood and the promise of not living like a nomad anymore sounded quite enticing as well. So, I had agreed to come back, albeit a little reluctantly.
I gripped the cold squishy bag in my hand and raised an eyebrow at my brother in question. "Want a pint?"
He shook his head at me, giving me a side smile. "No, not this week. I had a blood bag last week, remember? I have to dilute it with animal blood this week."
"You put too much effort on that control, brother. Try living a little once in a while."
As if on cue, the sounds of fast approaching footsteps came down the hall.
"There you are," Alice, my favorite sister, said as she wrapped an arm around her husband.
Jasper took her hand and kissed it before looking at me. "I am living, brother. And I hope you get to live one day as well."
Silently, he added, "don't feel guilty for leaving, Edward. You're back and that's all Carlisle wanted."
Alice gave me a smile as she led her husband out of my room, finally granting me some time to reflect on my thoughts.
I turned back to look out of the window.
The night sky was dotted with so many stars. They were like my family members. Each different than the others, but all very much alike as well.
I looked down at the blood bag still in my hand and grinned before leaping out of the window and walking into the forest that lined the house.
I waited there to check whether I was being followed or not and then, turned toward the Canadian border. If I wanted to remain undetected, I needed to hunt far away from home.
Wiping my mouth with the scrap of fabric I had torn off from my prey's shirt, I started walking back toward the house filled with vampires … my family.
As I looked about myself, judging to see if I looked like I just drained every last drop of blood from an unsuspecting human instead of my weekly blood bag.
Satisfied, I made my way back to the house.
Looked like Jasper was right … somewhat. I did feel guilty—not for leaving Carlisle to explore my abilities as a vampire though, no, I felt guilty for having to hide my excursions from my family.
But I am living my life as a vampire and I'll be damned if I feel sorry for that.
A/N: How's that for a vampward?
Leave me your thoughts and review.
Song rec for this chapter: Born Like This by Three Days Grace.
I'd like to thank whoever nominated The Perfect Light for the Top Ten Completed Fics of December, 2014. Your love for my crazy stuff astounds me. Thank you so much. :*
So, if ScienceWard made you smile with his cuteness, or Bella made you grin with her snarkiness, or JERKob made you want to kick the shit out of him, or Carlisle made you laugh out loud with his antics, go and vote for TPL. You can vote once every 24 hours until January 31st. Here's the link for voting:
twifanfictionrecs 2015 / 01 / 01 / vote-for-your-top-ten-completed-fics-december-2014 / (Remove the spaces before you hit go!)
Thanks for reading.
The next chapter will be up on next Friday.