Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Supernatural.

March 2010.

Hermione felt like she should have expected their plan not to work. Even if she did, she had to admit that she was still surprised at how spectacularly it failed.

As it turned out, Kali knew that Gabriel wasn't really Loki but, instead, an Archangel. Which was, to be honest, pretty much the worst case scenario that they now had to deal with.

Hermione, Dean and Sam were caught trying to free the hostages, and though they managed to kill Zao Shen, they couldn't avoid the rest of the Gods. Now, they were harshly dragged through the motel and back to the conference room, where they were tossed on three chairs.

Nobody had to tell them to be quiet or they'd be killed – the warning was silently obvious.

"How long have you known?" Gabriel, who was seated next to them, asked Kali.

"Long enough," Kali replied.

"How's the rescue going?" Dean snarked at Gabriel, only to be cut off by Hermione's elbow finding his ribs.

Now was not the time.

"Well, surprise, surprise," Kali said with a roll of her eyes. "The Trickster has tricked us."

"Kali, don't," Gabriel tried, only for Kali to cut him off.

"You're mine now," she said, moving forwards until she was sitting in his lap. "And you have something I want." With a long, almost sexual movement that made even Baldur uncomfortable, Kali reached inside Gabriel's jacket and pulled out his blade. "An Archangel's blade," she breathed out. "From the Archangel, Gabriel."

"Okay, okay!" Gabriel finally admitted, getting more nervous by the second. "So I got wings, like Kotex. But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer."

"He's lying," Kali said, once again rolling her eyes at him. "He's a spy."

"I'm not a spy," Gabriel replied. "I'm a runaway. I'm trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends –"

"Your story," Kali corrected. "Not ours. Westerners, I swear!" Even as she was all but shaking from fear, Hermione couldn't help but notice Kali's voice was starting to shake, too. "The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart?" By this point, tears started rising to Kali's eyes. "You're wrong. There are billions of us. And we were here first." She shook her head. "If anyone gets to end this world… it's me."

For a moment, everyone waited in anticipation at what Kali was going to do next. As she started to move the hand that held the Gabriel's Blade, Hermione realized what was going to happen.

"I'm sorry."

"No!"

Both women spoke out at the same time, but there was nothing Hermione could do. The blade was already lodged between Gabriel's ribs, and all present in the room were blinded as bright white light erupted from his mouth and eyes.

The cry of warning was still on Hermione's lips when the light died down.

"This is crazy," Mercury muttered.

"They can die," Kali said triumphantly. "We can kill Lucifer."

For a moment, everyone was silent as they took in the meaning of her words.

Much to Hermione's dismay, Dean was the one who broke the silence, standing up.

"All right you primitive screwheads, listen up," he said.

"Are you out of your mind?" Sam hissed.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hermione asked at the same time.

"I'm out of options," Dean replied to both of them, turning back to the Gods. "Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damndest to kill you. You filthy murdering chimps," he added for good measure, making Hermione's breath hitch in fear. "But, hey, desperate times. So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you," he told them. "I'm going to help you ice the Devil. And then we can all get back to ganking each other, like normal." He looked around the room, seeming to gain confidence at the fact none of them outright killed him yet. "You want Lucifer, well, dude's not in the Yellow Pages. But me and Sam, we can get him here."

"How?" Kali questioned.

"First you let those main courses go," Dean said, marking at the general direction of the hostages in the kitchen. "Then we talk. We can either take on the Devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me." He swallowed hard before adding, "Literally."

For a moment, there was silence as Dean, Sam and Hermione waited for the Gods to reply to Dean's offer. Just as it seemed like they were going to agree, Odin spoke up.

"This is ridiculous," he said, standing up. He grabbed Hermione – who was unfortunate enough to be closest to him – and held her up by the throat. "Call him, or I kill the girly."

"I don't think you will," a new voice spoke up, and Hermione's eyes found the Goddess it belonged to.

She wore all white, and stood in a regal way that contradicted the brutality seeping off those around her. From the corner of her eye, Hermione could see that even Kali backed away as the woman stood up. From where she stood, Hermione could just about read what was written on her name tag, and her eyes widened.

"She is protected," Magik said, a swift movement of her wrist pushing Odin away from Hermione and crashing into the wall. "Or did my last reminder after the playground incident wasn't enough?"

Odin didn't reply as he stood up, wiping the dust from his suit and unsuccessfully trying to regain his dignity. Magik turned to look at Hermione, who immediately fell to her knees, bowing her head.

"Um… Mya?" Sam asked, but Hermione didn't reply.

Magik smiled. "Rise, child. You will not be harmed here. Now," she added, turning back to the Gods. "You will release your dinner. If all goes well, we won't even be here long enough for you to eat it."

"Easy to say when it's not your dinner," Ganesh replied only for him, too, to fall silent as Magik turned her gaze to him.

"It will be even easier if I eat your energy," she told him, her voice barely more than a whisper. "It will also stop your insufferable muttering." Ganesh bowed his hand, and she smiled again. "Since you so kindly volunteered, you can help the older Mr. Winchester release the other humans. Meanwhile," she said, turning to Sam, who seemed shocked, "I trust you can explain your plan to summon Lucifer here?"

Sam nodded, glancing between Dean, who was just as shocked, and Hermione, who was still kneeling.

"Good," Magik smiled, a smile that just a bit too bright and didn't quite reach her eyes. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

A few minutes later, after Sam and Hermione finished explaining their – truly insane – plan, Kali still looked at them with undisguised disbelief.

"So you're going to summon Lucifer," she said, looking Sam up and down as though she doubted his ability to accomplish such a feat – which was probably true.

"Sort of," Sam replied. "I just need you to squeegee some stuff from my ribs and he'll come running."

"Breaking them would be easier," Kali replied.

"As is breaking your hands," Magik replied. "But you don't see me going around, doing it, do you?"

"You know," Baldur started, "I'm getting really sick of your attitude."

"You were the one who called us here," Magik replied. "Or did you forget? Out of the two of us, so far, it was your pride that seemed to rule here tonight. Not mine."

Baldur opened his mouth to retort only to be cut off as Dean burst into the room.

"Show's over," he said. "Sword's a fake, and Gabriel… he's still kicking. I hate to break it to you, sister," he told Kali, "but you've been tricked."

"Tricked by the Trickster," Magik mused. "Who'd have thought?"

Once again, Baldur's reply was cut off, only this time it wasn't by any of the humans, but rather by the flickering of lights that made all of them look up in fear.

"What's happening?" he asked instead.

"It's him," Sam replied, his own voice shaking.

"How?" Kali asked.

"Does it matter?" Dean asked. "Shazzam us out of here, would you?"

"We can't," Baldur said.

"Of course you can't," Lucifer replied, walking through the doors Dean burst through just a minute before. "You didn't say 'Mother, may I?' Sam, Dean," he added, looking at the two brothers, "good to see you again. And you must be Hermione…" The way his eyes scanned her up and down gave her a chill, even as Magik placed herself between the Devil and the witch. "I heard so much about you."

Luckily – if Hermione could even call anything luck, when the Devil was in the same room with her – Baldur moved forward, taking Lucifer's attention off Hermione and on to him.

"Baldur, don't," Kali said, but her warning was left unattended by the other God.

"You think you own the planet?" he asked, starting to charge at Lucifer. "What gives you the right?"

Hermione had to hold back a scream as Lucifer stopped Baldur's assault – not with his powers, but by sending his hand through Baldur's chest, killing him.

"No one gives us the right," he whispered at the dying God on his arm, "we take it."

At this point, several things happened at once.

Lucifer tossed Baldur's body aside, walking over it as though it was nothing more than discarded waste – which, to him, it probably was. Kali called out in rage, her arms becoming engulfed with fire which she didn't hesitate to aim at Lucifer. Sam and Dean jumped away, finding cover behind a turned-over table, just as Magik pulled a shocked Hermione behind a sofa, using her own magic to shelter both of them from Kali's fire.

As the fire died down, Magik turned back to Hermione.

"Get away as soon as you can," she whispered. "I gave you some defenses, but nothing close to what you need to survive him."

Hermione opened her mouth, about to blurt out a series of questions, only for them to die on her lips as Magik faded away. Still shaken, she dared to look out just in time to see Lucifer punch Kali, throwing her across the room.

Much to Hermione's horror, his attention now fixated on her.

"You know," he said, "when I heard that you were in a relationship with the Trickster God, I was curious." Before Hermione could try to get away, he grabbed her by the throat and lifted her in the air. "When I found out that Dean Winchester was also under your charm, I was intrigued. But after I found out that the Trickster was actually my own brother," he spat the word as though it brought nothing but shame, throwing Hermione on the ground next to Kali as he did, "I just had to know… what's your secret?"

Hermione started crawling back, not taking her eyes off Lucifer for a moment, only for her back to meet a wall.

"Not gonna answer?" he asked, seeming almost disappointed. "Never mind, we'll have plenty of time to talk later. I've been told you're familiar with the place I'm about to send you to."

Lucifer's hand pulled back, and Hermione didn't even dare to close her eyes. She waited, not even knowing what she was waiting for, only that it probably involved her death.

Imagine her surprise when Lucifer was thrown away from her and back at the door he entered through, and when Gabriel had taken his place, forming a defensive stance over Kali and Hermione.

"Lucy," he said with a tight smile, "I'm home. Not this time," he added, turning to Kali and Hermione and helping them up. "Guys! Get them out of here."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Dean said, rushing to Hermione as Sam pulled the Goddess up.

Neither of them spared a look at the two Archangels as they ran out of the room.

It wasn't until they reached the Impala when the two women found it in them to speak again. However, as Kali seemed to focus entirely on the car, Hermione's attention was rather at the building they just ran out of.

"I have to get back in there!" she called out.

"Are you crazy?" Dean asked. "Lucifer literally just tried to kill you. What on Earth makes you think it's a good idea to go back in?"

"I owe him too much," Hermione said, tears starting to form in her eyes. "I owe him everything, Dean. Without him I would have still been in Hell – and if not, then I would have died too many times to count since."

"Then pay homage to his actions by staying out of there," Dean replied. "Getting back there and dying isn't going to help anyone, Mya!"

"I'm sorry," Hermione breathed out, "but I have to try. Go!" she all but ordered, turning on her heel and running back into the motel.

As she passed in the hallway that was still littered with the bodies of the Gods who attended the meeting that night, Hermione could already start hearing Lucifer and Gabriel's conversation.

"…so you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches," Lucifer was saying. "Why?"

"Because Dad was right," Gabriel replied. "They are better than us."

"They are broken," Lucifer replied. "Flawed! Abortions."

Hermione dared to peek through the door, only slightly relieved to see it was Gabriel who was facing her direction. Still, she moved out of sight, breathing heavily and taking every word in.

"Damn right they're flawed," Gabriel replied. "But a lot of them try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino! I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs."

"Brother," Lucifer said, and if Hermione didn't know better she would say he almost sounded sorry. "Don't make me do this."

"No one makes us do anything," Gabriel replied.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel," Lucifer went on. "But I know where your heart truly lies."

There was a moment of silence and then the sound of a struggle, before Hermione heard Gabriel's yelp of pain. It didn't take a lot to imagine what had just happened, and even though she was vaguely aware Lucifer kept talking, she could no longer comprehend his words.

She felt as though she was going to fall down, only for a strong arm to catch her, and another to cover her mouth to stop her yelp of surprise.

"Shut up," a stern voice ordered as bright light came out of the room Lucifer and Gabriel was in, "or we're both dead."

Hermione's silent tears were the only response she gave.