A/N: Another of the gigantic amount of fics I'm writing; my first MWPP and Lily story ever. I've been planning this for a while and it finally came out after reading far too many Penelope-Z fics, and the Draco/Pansy fic "I will never forget you" by slush puppy. *Sniffs* I got all sober and started to write, and this popped out. Enjoy some Remus sort-of-angst. Woohoo..

If only..

It's the kind of silence that's too loud to hear.

You know? When you're in an empty house and every sound is like a twig snapping in a dark forest, that's how it is.

That's how it is right now, in the forest.

I've made sure that none of them are following me to the Whomping Willow, heading towards my prison for the next four days. I glance up at the full moon and sigh. If only.

James and Sirius, Peter and Lily; I'd tell them, but I can't. I can't risk seeing disgust on their faces, losing my only friends because of what I am. They wouldn't trust me if I told them. And I don't think I could live without Sirius's laugh, James's stupid plans, Peter's self-depreciating humor and Lily's smile. I don't think I'd have the resolve to turn into a beast every month if I didn't have them.

My friends. My friends. The friends of a werewolf.

The friends of a werewolf who, of course, was not only guilty of being turned into a werewolf as a boy, but was also guilty of lying at least once a month.

I look towards the imposing figure of the violent tree. I pick up a rock and with aim honed for the past, say, two years I lob it at the knot in the tree. It freezes and I head towards the tree.

If it weren't for the moonlight, the darkness would close in just like the silence and I would be deaf and blind. If it weren't for the moonlight, I wouldn't be outside at midnight into a tree that's actually a secret passage.

If it weren't for the moonlight...

And as I touch my hand to pull the knot, to enter my prison, a hand touches my shoulder.