Summary: Stolen. Locked up. Strange visitors. Suffocating and spiralling, drowning in her own pain and fear—that was all she had known for the past ten years. So long she had been here, so long since she had hope. She was gone, too far beneath the waves that consumed her that she would be impossible to save now. So how could one man hope to change everything? ... And why?


What is this story about? Well the summary is above but I guess you have to read it to know. I can't promise you it will be good (I'm hoping it will be), but it certainly won't be a story for everyone. If you're into a more romance/drama story with the occasional twist and little bit of violence, then check out my other story 'Here to Stay'.

What should I expect going into this story? It is AU, so no factions, with lots of dark themes and as such, you should read with caution. I have tried to keep all characters slightly similar to the books and hopefully they haven't differed too much. However, as this drags on, that might change.

Why is this rated M? It involves a lot of dark and mature themes, with the occasional swearing and violence (not too much as I am picky about it). Themes include suicidal thoughts, depression, cutting, rape, and more. So, if you are easily triggered, or find these topics a little too heavy, then don't proceed any further.

How long will this be? I aim to end it around 25 chapters, and with an estimate of 70k words but the number may be more or less depending on how many words I will need to end the story.

Which ideas are my own? The plot and all original characters (you may or may not meet later in the story) are mine. Any other original characters belong to Veronica Roth.

Why should I read this? I hope that you will, though I can't make you, I can assure you that I've put a lot of effort and time into writing this, to make it as enjoyable as writing it is for me, to read for you. So, I hope you do take the chance to read on.


Blue eyes.

That was all she saw as water filled her lungs and she fought desperately hard to scream. Her legs felt weak, her body flailed as she sank deeper into the murky water. It was then that she realised, this was how it was going to end for her—it wouldn't be by a peaceful death when she was eighty years old with family by her side. No, she was going to die, going to drown, all because she was stupid—foolish.

Her eyes began to close as she felt the air begin to leave her body. She couldn't feel any part of her body anymore—the lack of oxygen made her head spin—and it was then that she prayed for a merciful death. That in her last breath she would die without any pain. She had to deal with so much loss and grief in her life already, it was only fair that her last moment be easy—quick and painless.

But as she floated in the sea, deep beneath the waves, she doubted her end would be that gentle. She was too far in the dark that she couldn't feel hands wrapping themselves around her waist and pulling her up. Time escaped her mind and her last thought turned towards her brother, and her family.

I love you Caleb. And I will see you all very soon.

Her eyes closed and she welcomed the darkness—it was calm. It was peaceful for a change.






When she woke, she only saw blinding light. For a moment, she thought she had gone to heaven. Then she realised, with the life she had led, there was no way she would end up up there. Up there were for the peaceful, pure, and innocent souls. Down there were for the sinners, the liars, the corrupted—and down there was where she belonged.

She blinked once, her eyes taking a long time to adjust to the harsh light. She tried moving her fingers, her toes, but she felt numb all over. Her throat burned and she tried to scream but nothing came out. Time slowed as she tilted her head to look around her.

She soon came to the realisation that she was in a hospital room... But how? Why? Who would—

Her thoughts were interrupted when her eyes settled upon a breathing figure hunched over the armchair in the corner. She didn't recognise his face, but she was sure he was the one who had brought her here. Her eyes scanned over his body, eyes stopping momentarily to notice how serene his face looked. With the added light shining above his head, he looked like an angel.

A small smile played on her lips, before her thoughts turned bitter once again. Her body twitched uneasily as she thought of the repercussions—no, she couldn't have survived... No, she wouldn't go back to that—she wouldn't go back to him.

Her hands fisted in the clean, white sheets and her heart beat rose quickly. Her eyes flickered across the room hastily, her breath breaking every second inhale. Her stomach felt queasy and she felt like she was going to throw up—she wasn't meant to live... She had supposed to die—she hadn't purposely jumped into that river, but she had comes to term with dying... She was finally at peace.

Her eyes darted around the room nervously, as she tried to think of the quickest escape—if she stayed here, he would find her, and she would never be able to escape again.

Slowly, she lifted the bed sheets off the bottom half of her body and swung her legs over the edge. She closed her eyes as she felt the blood rush to her head, making her feel suddenly dizzy. It took her a few moments before she regained control of her body but once she was not feeling weak to the bones, she pushed herself onto her feet. Though they didn't collapse, they shook beneath her weight. She steadied herself on the railing on the bed before taking a couple of steps. The tiles were cool under her feet, but she was numb to that too—she barely felt anything, save for the burning thought at the back of her mind that screamed at her—she needed to get out, and she needed to go now.

She cast a last glance over her shoulder at the man who was currently asleep on the chair opposite to where she now stood. She was grateful; he had saved her life, but a life that wasn't worth the effort? Her life was meaningless, it was troubled, and if she was being completely truthful, the world would be better without a soul as twisted as hers.

"Thank you." It was genuine; and looking at him, made her heart flutter and a smile turn up on her lips. He was a stranger, who risked his life for hers—he was one of the pure ones... One life that the world should treasure. As for her... Well, Tris was sure the world wouldn't miss hers. "Thank you for giving me a second chance... But it was pointless. My life, it—I wasn't worth saving." The last of her whisper was caught in the wind, and she hastily slipped into the hallway, disappearing into the dark night.

Her feet hit the floor in uneven steps as she trampled on broken twigs. The concrete was firm beneath her bare feet, and the occasional rock scrapped it raw, but she persisted.


That was what she willed herself to do. She ran as fast and as far as her legs would carry her. She had to keep going—just keep pushing herself further. The running was all too familiar; the sounds of wet mud squishing beneath her feet made her stomach tremble. All that she remembered from that night was running... And darkness.

The darkness was terrifying. It was following her—chasing her. As if it was beckoning her to come back, to give in, but Tris couldn't let herself. She wouldn't fall back into oblivion anymore...

Her mind pounded with a thousand thoughts, but there was one thing she clung onto—one person she held tight through that whole ordeal. Caleb, her brother. He was the only reason she clung onto her humanity, even despite all that torture, humiliation and pain. He was the only thing that kept her going—that made her keep living... The thought that maybe one day she would be reunited with him at last.

She began to slow, the ache in her calves now burning throughout her whole body. She puffed out a chilled breath into the cold winters night, and watched as the warm mist dissolved into the wind. Her hair stuck to her skin and sweat dotted her forehead. She swiped her forearm at the beads of perspiration that had begun to form. Dressed only in scrubs and a coat she had stole on her way out, her fingers and toes were freezing and the rest of her body were no better, even despite the short burst of exercise. She wrapped her arms around herself, dragging the fabric tighter around her frail body. She shivered at every sudden gust of wind; goosebumps rose on her skin and her lips turned blue.

She tried to run faster, but her feet couldn't support her anymore. They buckled under her weight and she fell onto the floor in a messy heap. Her body slumped on the floor ungracefully, her head slamming down on the concrete road.

Everything went dizzy; she couldn't see, she couldn't process a thing. Every single fibre and muscle in her body was going hay-wire and she was left in a half-giggling-half-hysterical state.

Her sobs came out in chokes as hiccups filled her lungs. "No." Her voice shook nervously, "I'm not going back." She shook her head desperately, reminding herself. "I can't go back."

She absolutely refused to go back to that—she didn't want to feel helpless anymore. She wanted to be strong, to be brave, to be pure—but she was neither of those.

And as she remembered the memories of the past night, she finally admitted to herself that she was weak. They had taken everything from her—her family, her purity, her sacred place—and they left her as an empty shell of a broken girl. The image of her innocence was shattered, they had made damn sure of that when they took the very last thing she had been so unwilling to give up. She had fought till her last breath, but they took it anyway.

"I told you you'd like it." He hissed in her ear. "You wanted it... You asked for it." His grip tightened on her neck, causing her to whimper at the pain. "You begged for it." His eyes bore into hers and she fought to look away, but as his hands clasped tighter on her neck, she gave the answer he wanted to hear.

"Yes... I wanted it." She admitted at last and a cruel smile crossed his lips.

"That's a good girl."

She hated what they did to her—she loathed them with every fibre of her being. Yet when they had made her say it, it was her own words she heard—not theirs. Her stomach churned and she fought the urge to throw up. She swallowed the memory and forced back the tears that wanted to fall.

His moans filled up the dirtied room, and when he was done, he discarded her away. The ratty mattress had been her only comfort and even then, that was barely a luxury.

She washed herself using the cloth and bucket in the corner. The water was stale and had a foul odour, and the cloth was rough, scrapping at her skin. She scrubbed herself down, wanting to rid herself of him—but the stench of him still surrounded her. She rubbed her skin raw but the scent and taint was still there—he was still there. A reminder of what he had done.

She could smell him, feel him even now. He had taken her, and she barely put up a fight. She cried now, wishing that she wasn't so weak. But she was, she had let him do that to her. She was dirty now, impure, and no one would want her now.

"Hey." The voice that interrupted her was soft, but she flinched at the sudden intrusion. She tried to back up, but found herself too weak to even crawl away.

"Please leave me alone." She begged.

"I'm not going to hurt you—" The voice spoke calmly. But Tris only shook her head, rejecting his hand.

"Please just leave." She whimpered. She closed her eyes, hoping that she'd be lucky enough to freeze to death. The last ever words that night were most heart wrenching yet the most truthful words she had ever spoken: "Just leave me here to die. I don't want to feel like this—I'm so tired of feeling like I'm broken." Her eyes met his, and electricity buzzed around them. She recognised his face and she flinched at how she had left him in the hospital. Guilt flashed across her face, but she desperately shook it off—she didn't need anymore regret, anymore pain. She had had enough for a lifetime.

"I want to help... Please—please just let me help you." His voice was soon shaking too.

She simply shook her head again and spoke coldly this time. "I'm too far gone. No one can help me now."