"Hello everyone. I'm back again. I suspect I might get rather bored of this game after a while, it's not very interesting, is it? Just a lot of flying on brooms. Oh, quite a lot of people just gasped. Did Harry Potter do something? No, he's gasping too. What happened?
"…Apparently Quidditch is a religion. I'm sorry, I didn't know. I do try not to insult people's beliefs. It's very rude, though people tend to insult mine. Like that boy in the green robes, yelling and gesturing rather obscenely. Sorry! I didn't know! Oh dear, I hope he's not too angry. Oh look, he's stopped. And now he's cheering. What a remarkable mood swing. Maybe he's a case of the Noobles, they cause fascinating mood swings. Oh no, I've been told by Professor McGonagall that it was a point scored. She appears rather disappointed.
"And the numbers on the board have gone up! I was wondering what those were for- I thought maybe it was counting the number of sneezes or something. I did wonder if Slytherin had a cold.
"I've had a cold recently. It's funny: you don't miss breathing through your nose until you can't. I've always taken it for granted, and now I feel rather silly for it. Poor fish, they don't have noses. They're always breathing in water, aren't they? I tried that once, when I fell in the swamp, and it burned an awful lot. Daddy saved me though. I love my daddy. He's always saving me. I fell off the roof once, trying to catch nargles, and I bounced! It was very exciting, but I don't think I'll be doing it again.
"Oh look- I think that girl just bounced off the ground, too! Look! She's falling off the broom and- oh. No, that's not bouncing at all. Is someone going to take her to the Hospital? Good. Be careful of her arm, I don't think it's bending the right way. Not the right way at all. Maybe the nargles distracted her. They distract me sometimes, when I'm at the dinner table.
"A new person's come on the field now, to replace the falling one with the funny arm. I do hope they're better at flying. And they are! Look, they've found the funny gold thing that everyone seems to want. What luck."