Author's Note:

Well folks, here's the story you Archie fans have been waiting for, Archie finally learns his lesson, but he does it the HARD way! The really hard way!

Archie Learns His Lesson

It was a typical day in Riverdale, home of the famous, Archie Andrews, the town Casanova. But, he had a problem, he had a dating problem. Over the years, Archie would one day date Betty Cooper and another, he would date Veronica Lodge. Yup, this caused some intense rivalry between the two girlfriends. And it wasn't just Betty and Veronica, there were more women, Valerie and Cheryl. Whenever the girls were together, they'd fight over him and he'd let it. However, this was one day that would change his life.

School had just ended, and Archie had been making his way to his locker. There, he saw a sticky note, it was from Jughead:

"Archie, meet me at my house after school. It's important- Jughead"

Archie had arrived at Jughead's house, luckily, Jughead's parents were out, so they were alone.

"Jughead." Archie said to his friend "You called me here?"

"Yes Archie." Jughead nodded his head "Now sit down."

Archie sat down. "Why did you call me here anyways?"

"We called you here to have a little talk, man to man." Jughead said.

"We?" Archie asked.

Reggie came up and sat down on the couch next to Jughead.

"Yes Archie." Jughead said "For many years, you've been very fickle with women. You date both Betty and Veronica and now, you've been going out with Valerie and Cheryl and look, they've been fighting over you and Betty and Veronica are hardly friends anymore."

"So?" Archie asked not caring.

"So?!" Reggie responded "Archie we love you like a brother. And personally, I don't like seeing you do this to the girls. You're hurting a lot of people and you're destroying yourself. Especially Betty and Veronica. You're playing with their hearts and I won't stand for it! Even I think that's sick and wrong."

"Reggie's right Archie." Jughead said "You can't do this anymore. You can't take advantage of them and you have to choose the one you truly love."

"And it can't be Veronica!" Reggie said "She's mine!"

"Reggie!" Jughead smacked Reggie's forehead "So what's it gonna be Archie?"

"Don't count on it." Archie proceeded to leave "I don't care about the girls. I just care about getting them all for myself and making them fight over me. The fact that those bubble headed bimbos are easily manipulated by my good looks and corny love songs is no skin off my nose."

Archie arrived at the front yard and turned to continue his statement to Reggie and Jughead "Survival of the fittest Reggie. Survival of the fittest."

"Ahem!" Someone said from behind. It was Betty, Veronica, Cheryl, and Valerie.

"Uhhh hello ladies." Archie nervously chuckled.

"GET HIM!" Betty shouted and the girls all ran after Archie. They couldn't believe what they heard. To think they trusted him all those years.

Archie found a bike nearby and hopped onto it "You'll never catch me!" He said and started peddling very fast, at least until he saw it was an exercise machine "Blasted exercise craze."

"GET HIM!" Betty yelled and she and the girls jumped onto him and started beating him senseless.


Archie had ended up in the Riverdale Hospital. He was in several bandages and casts from the beating he got. His parents, Jughead, and Reggie were there for support.

"He's a little worn out from that beating the girls gave him, but he'll pull through." The doctor said. "Just some third degree burns and some mental trauma."

"So are we going to court?" Archie asked weakily.

"Well, considering the fact there are no witnesses, no evidence, and that you brought this on yourself, I'm afraid a lawsuit is out of the question." Said the doctor "Plus the fact that you were dead for eight minutes then revived by modern surgery, just goes to show you shouldn't play with a woman's heart."

"At least I'll be okay." Archie weakily smiled.

"There's still the matter of the bill." The doctor handed Archie's father a bill.

"OH MY GOD!" Mr. Andrews screamed "We can't afford this!"

"Actually, you can." Reggie said "Oh ladies..."

Betty and Veronica arrived in the hospital room where Archie was.

"Good news Archiekins..." Veronica said "Me, Betty, Cheryl, and Valerie sold all the gifts you bought us over the years and used it to pay the bill."

"Not to mention, Ronnie and I have made up once and for all." Betty put her hand on Veronica's shoulder "And we've decided to give up on men and realized our feelings for each other."

"So many years of allowance and extra chores...gone." Archie stammered "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'm with you Arch." Reggie said "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Author's Note:

Well, that was it. Archie learned his lesson, the hard way might I add. Thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun making this one. Stay tuned for more stories of Mr. Peabody, Scooby-Doo, and so much more. See you in the other categories!