1Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver

Enter the Block puzzles ver. 2.0, Director's cut, special hyper edition, Z

(You all already know what the Fing warning is.)

Hello, my dear fans, sorry I've been gone lately, my computer died about a week before September, and now I have finally got it back. I've decided to go back and rework my first parody, now with extra footage!

Example: Raziel is seen fighting Darth Maul with the Soul Reaver.

New angles!

Ex: The camera shows Raziel falling into abyss in the same old position, the camera tilts to the right about an inch.

More characters!

Ex: Link from Zelda can be seen holding a flame-thrower and burning Dr Weird's (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) lab.

New costumes!

Ex: Raziel is wearing a black cowl and has those non-existent boots that show up in some photos of him.

Ex2: Kain wearing nothing but a Speedo, men can be heard retching, fangirls swarm and engulf him.

Ex3: Moebius dressed similar, laser pointers to his head and rest of body, camera pans off and we hear gunshots and explosions.

And all the weapons are replaced with walkie-talkies!

Ex: Raziel pulls five walkie-talkies out of Dumah.

Ex2: Kain is seen busting a huge walkie-talkie over Raziel's head

Well maybe not, that thing in E.T was so lame, anyway, enjoy the new version of my classic vision now in, 3-D!


(We see the opening of the game as always and Raziel narrates).

Raziel V. O: Kain is a jackass, the clans mock him behind his back, but only few have managed to keep their mouth's shut. Anyway he was mortal once, blah de blah as were we all were, de blah. I am Raziel, firstborn of Kain's homies and lieutenants. I stood with Kain and my brethren at the dawn of the empire then took a nap and came back. We became less human and more, divine, Kain would enter the state of change and emerge with new threads, while we get stuck with hand-me-downs, until I had the honor of surpassing that jerk. For my 'transgression' I earned a new kind of reward…. agony (Kain rips off Raziel's wings). Agghhh it hurts, mommy! Ouchies!

(We now see everybody at the abyss)

There was only one possible outcome. My eternal damnation, I Raziel was to suffer a painful and horrible fate for traitors and weaklings and burn forever in the bowels of the lake of the dead.

(Kain is trying not laugh as he has just played a joke on Raziel, he composes himself and says his line.)

Kain: Cast his stupid ass in.

(Dumah and Turel toss Raziel in).

Raziel: Awwwww Crap……..

(Raziel screams as he is tossed, we see Kain's joke is that he placed a 'kick me' sign on Raz's back.)

Raziel V. O: Tumbling, burning with white-hot as sht fire, I plunged into the depths of the abyss, unspeakable pain, well not exactly I'm explaining it right now, anyway, relentless agony, time ceased to exist as my sports-watch crapped out on me. Only this torture and a deepening hatred of the Hypocrisy that

Damned me to this hell and the jerks that sold me this piece of junk.

An eternity or at least that what I think it was passed, and my freaking torment receded, bringing me back from the precipice of madness, gasps and naked chilliness. The decent had really screwed me up… and yet, I lived.

(Suddenly the Elder God makes his first speech, nearly scaring the crap out of Raziel.)

Elder God: Raziel, you are worthy.

Raziel: EIEEEEEEEEEE! Jumps so high he hits that soul thingie


Well I hoped you liked it, please review and I will allow you to make a cameo in this. I like to give credit to LegendaryFrog (a flash movie maker) for inspiring the idea of the new extras.

I'm glad to be back from my absence, and I hope that all of you, my fellow fan fic writers will be there to enjoy my stories once more. Aside from this little update, I also have concluded my Soul Reaver 2 parody, there's a new chapter in Blue Vampire Café, one in the Blood Omen 2 parody, a new chapter in my Silent Hill 2 parody and I even did a fic in the Code Lyoko. I hope you have time to see what I've done and I can't wait to catch up on all of your wonderful stories too.

See ya! Please Review and I'll let you all have a chance to beat up Moebius, FYI: He's the reason why there's no word yet on the next Legacy of Kain game.

Moebius: That's a lie!