HERE YA'LL GO. THE ENDING TO MAYBE I AM SICK! OVER 2 YEARS…I'M DONE…for now hehe. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE. KISSES FOR THOSE WHO STUCK BY ME SINCE DAY ONE!
It's weird. This story, and everyone with it, has been with me through some of the hardest times in my life. My own battle with cutting, the death of my father and so much more. Thanks to everyone.
I love you all. But now, time for the ending of Maybe I am Sick….!
Everyday is a struggle. But, everyday is better then the last, everyday is better then it was just 3 weeks ago.
Pony, he's quiet, but he's better. He's not constantly in his own world, every now and then he goes into a daze but if we say something or touch him he comes out of it. He's not totally the old Pony we knew, but he's getting there. He's quiet now, sometimes he gets talkative…wait he is like old Pony.
I shrug to myself and smile.
I watch Pony carefully as he picks up the knife and cuts into the cake, I sigh with relief as he puts the knife back on the table and picks up the cake. He just walks past me to go into the living room. This time I don't have to wrestle the knife away from him.
"Soda?" I turn towards my little brother. I try not to laugh, chocolate is all over his mouth and some on his nose.
"What time is my appointment with Dawn?"
Pony had started seeing her again. After we got him to come out of his world and come back to us, we got him to start seeing her. Not that he liked it much, he didn't fight us about it.
"Like always, one o'clock." And I waited for it…his question.
"Do I have to go?"
I chuckle, "Yes, you do." I turn back into the kitchen and pick up the chocolate crumb and icing covered knife to wash it.
"Soda?" The small voice of my brother once again comes from the living room.
"Yes?" I call back.
There was silence for a bit. But, I waited.
Finally, "Can you bring me some milk?"
I shook my head and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. "Yep. Be there in a sec." I smiled to myself; I missed his voice. I missed having my little brother want me to help him.
I had gotten home just in time to rush Pony to his appointment. When I pulled up to the house Soda and Pony were outside waiting for me.
"Sorry." I said when they got into the truck.
"No problem," Pony said, "you could've took your time you know." Pony gave me a small smile and I laughed in return.
"You would've loved that, wouldn't you have little buddy?" I reached over and rubbed my brothers hair.
"Well, I wouldn't have been mad at ya." Then he opened his book he had in his hands and the rest of the ride to the doctors was silent. But it wasn't weird, it was just…quiet. I looked over the top of Pony's head to look at Soda who smiled.
I remember how Soda was just 3 weeks ago, he was ready to break down and just give up. He had given up. I know sometimes he gets upset about that, I remember one day I caught him crying in the bathroom while Pony was watching TV:
"I gave UP on him, Darry. I was ready to convince you to put him in a Mental Asylum. I was tired, I gave up on our little brother…I gave up on him when he needed me."
All I could do then was hold him. I felt the same way…I had started to give up too.
But now things are better. Not normal, but better. I quickly looked at Pony before looking back at the road. His nose was buried in the book, like old times.
He was better.
I couldn't be happier.
"There are a lot of things that happen in the day I don't remember. Its just black empty blotches, but at the same time I'm aware. I don't know…." I'm sitting in Dr. Dawns office, fiddling with a piece of string on my shirt. I don't know why I'm nervous I see this woman 3 times a week.
"Do you brothers tell you what happens during the times you don't remember? She asks as she places her brown and gold pen behind her ear.
"Yea," I lean forward to pick up her wooden name plate. "They say I'm kinda child-ish or I'm out-of-it. In my own world... Do you think that could be a sign of like…multiple personalities or something?" I looked up at Dawn, I've been curious about that…having other people in my head.
She brought her hand to her mouth to cover a laugh. "Oh, Ponyboy. I love the questions you come up with. To be honest I have no clue. But, you say you're aware and you still answer by your name?" I nod and she continues " I'm not sure, Pony." She smirks "Something you'll have to ask Dr. Griffin."
I shutter, and put down her name. "Ick, I have to see him next week don't I?" I slump in the chair. I did NOT like that man.
Dawn laughs for a moment or so but then clears her throat. "Pony, how about cutting? Have you hurt yourself anytime?"
I shake my head and look down at my hand; "I haven't hurt myself since last week." I remembered last week, I was getting some pie, we didn't have any cake…and I just lifted my shirt and started cutting my stomach. Soda was walking by the kitchen and saw me and had the wrestle the knife from me… "But I haven't this week. I've had my urges, I've been wanting to…but I haven't."
"I'm proud of you Pony."
I smile at that. "Thanks Dawn, you know what?" I sit up in my chair.
"What?" She leaned forward, a small smile on his lips.
"I'm proud of myself too."
I really was, but as those words left my lips my stomach churned and I had no idea why. But I placed it in the back of my mind. I wanted everyone to be happy, and I would do anything to do that. Even if I made myself even more miserable then I was.
Smile. Laugh. Speak. Place on my mask, and continue my day, and torture myself in my head.
'Smile, Ponyboy. Smile' The deep voice in my mind laughed. 'Just smile.'
I listen. I smile. I guess something's never change.
END! For now.
Well, that's it guys! I'm making an alternate ending. Or I'm thinking about making a Sequel to the whole thing. You'll just have to wait and see. Sorry about the ending. It's kinda…yeah. You can cut it off at the last place Pony speaks if you want everything to stay happy.
:walks away laughing thinking about other ways she can torture little Pony:
:stops and turns to face everyone:
Thank you so much everyone! Finally after, how long::counts: OVER TWO YEARS…I'm done! Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Even the ones who continue to read but don't review, thank you! Almost 300 reviews. 100 for each year almost:: jumps up and down: