SAUL DEWITT

"Zero!" I call as I enter the base. "You finished putting that packet together yet?"

A head of messy blonde hair pops out of her door, her slightly glowing blue eyes flat. "I finished it an hour ago," she replies dryly. "Jade's taking a look at it now, and she has your first target."

"Good," I nod, dropping my weapons off at the workbench. "Kenn, is he done?"

The quarian looks up from his work on skeletal mech, setting his soldering iron aside. "The actuators is the legs needed a some adjusting, but he's ready," he says, unable to hide a nervous tremble in his voice. "Are you sure you want to activate him?"

"Yup," I say, opening my omni-tool and bringing up the activation program. "Until we can find a suitable body for Jade, I need someone to watch my back. And seeing how neither you or Zero are fighters, building my own is better. If it's any consolation, he's not a true AI, he's a learning VI."

"But that's what-"

"Boop!" I hit the button, the battery humming to life as the optics flicker on. The mech blinks, looking around at the warehouse. "Are you operational?"

"Affirmation: Unit, Designation HK-07 is ready to serve, Master."

WILL RETURN

"Motherfucking Bugs!" I shout as another laser beam burns across my chest, popping my shields. Diving into cover, I pop out and fire a trio of shots from Invictus, ripping through the barrier of the Collector with the laser and splattering its head across the wall behind it. "God I hate you!"

The metallic-tinged groans and the shambling of feet alert me to the husks' presence and I look over my cover to see four of the bastards charging towards me. I resist the urge to spray them with fire and grab the first as it lunges towards me, charging it with arc energy and hurling it into the others, where it explodes like a grenade.

Moving through the colony, I stop to grab the frozen people and shove them into empty buildings, making sure to shut the door and lock it. It's all I can do for now, especially since I can hear the buzzing of wings, which means more of the bastards are coming!

This time, I don't bother to resist the urge and throw both my arms up, liberally spraying flames into the air. Three of the fuckers fly through my cloud o'fire and fall to the ground, their wings crackling as they burn. The fourth banks just in time to avoid it and posts up on top of a building. I don't have time to waste until the undamaged one tries to pick me off, so I ignite my lightsaber and lunge forward, decapitating one immediately, ducking under a wild butt-stroke from another and spinning to take its legs off with a rising slash to divest it of its gun (and arms).

I grab the organic-looking weapon out of the air and turn it on the last grounded Collector, firing a beam into its chest that rips through and scores the wall behind it.

The one on the roof stumbles, light shining through its body as power it can't contain rushes through it. "I AM ASSUMING-" My lightsaber blurs through the air, impaling the glowy bitch through the head.

"Shut up!"

IN

"Ladies, gentlemen, asari and everything else, welcome to the Final Round of RUMBLESPHERE SIX!" Moxy announces to a screaming crowd, crying their joy, bloodlust and regular lust for her at the top of their lungs. "The Challenger has torn through every other combatant with style, grace, and a metric ton of pure distilled Badass! The Defiler of Asari, the Chaotic Biotic, Master of the Lightsaber and Big Ass Gun…ONSLAUGHT!"

I raise my arms above my head, clenching my fists and pumping them as the crowd cheers and jeers in equal measure. When I stepped into the Rumblesphere to acquire the Hard-light tech, I never imagined I'd have to fight in this crazy-ass tournament. I will say, though, that it's been fun as all hell.

"But now he faces the final challenge! Two-time Champion! Krogan Battlemaster! Son of Zorbal the Unmatched!" Moxy cried, waving a hand to the door at the far side of the arena. It opened slowly, emitting gouts of steam and sparks, fireworks erupting out of the ground. "Zergal the Indomitable!"

The krogan that steps out is undoubtedly intimidating, all scarred and leering, drinking in the adulation of the crowd like a fine wine.

Meanwhile, I can't contain my laughter. Seriously?! They think he's the son of Big Z?! Ha! He's what, eight foot three? He can't be more than six hundred years old! There's no way in hell Big Z would have a kid that young; and if he did, he would've told me.

"No more Hard-Light mooks!" Madame Moxy shouts, standing tall on platform floating above our heads. "No more traps! No surrender! Real Badasses, spilling Real Blood!"

The crowd begins to chant, half my name and half Zergal. My heart begins to pound with anticipation, my knuckles white around my lightsaber.

"Champion, are you ready?!"

"I WILL CRUSH ALL CHALLENGERS!" He roars, pounding his chest as his biotic aura flares around him.

"Challenger, are you ready?!"

My blade bursts into life as I flourish it, holding in a reverse-grip as I give the universal sign of challenge. "Bring it, Bitch!"

"Gentlemen, at the count of three!" Moxy raises her hand, three fingers held up. "ONE!" The crowd chants with her. "TWO!" Zergal hunches over, his aura flickering as he prepares to Charge. "THREE!"

NOT A HERO

"You!" My target cries in fear, flinching behind the sheet of six-inch thick ballistic glass, covered with an energy shield. "How?! How did you kill all of them?! Why won't you die?! What did I ever do to you?!"

I shrug. "Nothing to me, personally. But you've killed a lot of people, torn a lot of families apart. You seemed so sure of your invincibility just an hour ago, where'd all that go?" I chuckle quietly. "Now you know how they felt, don't you? It's not fun, is it?"

"I have the money! I have the Power!" He shrieks, jowls flapping, eyes darting everywhere. "Who cares if a few slaves suffer?! They don't matter to anyone!"

The hologram fades to reveal HK in my place as he draws a red lightsaber, his voice filled with murderous glee. "Rebuke: That's where you're wrong, meatbag."

His eyes land on the glass as I drop the active camouflage, the bright blue of my helmet's eyes reflecting off the surface. He spins around with a squeal that's cut off as my sword pierces his chest. "They matter to someone. And that someone is far more important than you." I bring my blade up, cutting his head in half as the mercenaries scream, HK's mechanical cackling joining with them to create a strange, bloodstained symphony.

NOT FOR HIRE

"The Bounty Hunters Guild stands ready to accept you into our ranks," the Turian gives me what might be construed as a benevolent smile, though I can see the condescension barely-hidden underneath. "Of course, there's the-"

"No."

He blinks. "What?" He glares at me. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

He probably thinks he sounds dangerous. He has nothing on Sovereign or even Saren. "No I won't be joining your little mercenary company," I reply blandly. "'Bounty Hunters Guild' my ass. I studied you, you know. You're the reason no trusts people like me, people who want to catch criminals for money. You don't help anyone. You blackmail everyone into compliance, and you kill those you can't. How many good people have died because of you, because they trusted you?"

"Hmph," he grunts dispassionately. "The preaching of a naive fool, spare me. I care not for your reasons, they matter little, but all who call themselves 'Bounty Hunters' answer to me, or they find a new career. You can't refuse this offer, or you'll be hunted across the Galaxy."

"Try me, bitch." I hang up.

COMING SOON…

"Do you understand your mission, Revenant?" The Asian man finished with a scowl.

"Yes," he muttered, his electronically deepened voice rumbling. "Infiltrate the cell. Dispose of all specimens. Eliminate all personnel."

"Cheer up," Kai Leng muttered, adjusting the visor on his eyes. "You get to dispose of traitors to the cause. I can't think of anything more fun, except slaughtering animals."

"I'll 'cheer up'" Revenant sneered, fingering a tomahawk meaningfully, "When your master stops ordering me to kill weaklings, when I can finally get my revenge. This isn't fun. This is a chore."

"What revenge?" The assassin asked cautiously. Not because he was scared, because he didn't want to be bored.

"Someone stole everything from me." The other assassin growled, his single red optic glaring menacingly. "I will find them. And I will make them pay. Anyone who gets in my way…will burn, just like I did."

(...ish)

"Woohoo!" I cheer, the wind grasping at me, trying to pull me off my vehicle as I speed across the empty desert. The engine roars as I gun it, blue light trailing behind the exhaust, a cloud of dust kicking up as the hovering bike speeds over it. "Oh my god, this is SO FUN!"

(Sorry)

Enjoy the blue balls.