Elesane was not in the mood this day. Not because the war became fierce and traveling even from city to city in the Pact was dangerous.

But for the fact, that after the time she spent digging the mud, breathing the ashes, and eating kwama eggs and finally finding the book, she can't go to Cyrodiil to find the last tomes.

''It is dangerous, indeed, but I have been in the war at Ebonheart; I came all the way here, to Mournhold, from Stonefalls; I have seen death and suffering, I have been into the pain of losing the closest, and I-"

"-And you are not going anywhere. The flames of war are burning high. Higher than ever. And a small hand of yours won't be able neither to distinguish it, nor to go through them. At least not alone."

At least not alone. These words mean that she will have to find a bodyguard. Not a companion, because most of them are too afraid to look at something besides the books in the library. A person; a complete stranger, who would only be a burden for her.

They want money; not the knowledge that I seek. After all, she was sure that a bodyguard will be a waste of money and of time. They will slow her (for sure he would want to take a rest and visit every tavern on our way), and there will be no need to help in killing creatures (he will mostly laugh that magic is for the weak; who cannot do anything at all and need a person to do the job they are supposed to do). Elesane clearly imagined that it should definitely be him; she didn't have any reason to think so, and the fact that she would prefer a man to do the job was a surprise for her.

There is no other way. They won't give me the book back until I find someone, and without the book there is no path to follow.

Feeling the unease of the morning events, she decided to go to a tavern. I need some rest. I need to stop being so stubborn and stop thinking about the idea going alone in Cyrodiil. We are at war, you know.

The Flaming Nix was full of people. They call it "war"; and you see that people mostly drink instead of actually doing something. But it seemed that its not the drinking people came here for; in the middle of the inn a nord was dancing. Already drunk, already undressed, it was a miracle he didn't fall off the table in his fearless dance. For a moment their eyes met; the nord only smiled at Elesane, but she felt blushing.

What a stupid situation. The world has gone mad. She turned away quickly and ordered a light drink to turn her brain off, but not completely.

She was so deep into her thoughts she didn't notice the nord coming towards her and ordering the drink.

"It seems you quite enjoyed the dance" he said, smiling at her.

Elesane stared at him as if not understanding who he was. Anger rose inside her; how dare he to tell such a thing.

But he didn't seem so drunk and he was dressed, almost. With every minute she kept silence he smiled wider and wider.

"No, I didn't. It was a stupid dance of a stupid peasant who can't do anything besides being a jester" her lips twisted with a grin.

"So, you think I'm a fool. Who is not manly enough to go and kill some innocent people. Who prefers being a jester over being a hero?" his voice sounded rough and angry; she really offended him.

It felt wrong. No, surely she didn't mean anything of that, but dancing naked in the middle of the day, it was wrong or even…

The nord turned away from her. "It was a mistake. A huge mistake. All that promises of helping each other, building a new world, conquering the enemy's territory - it was a mistake. We will never be able to work together. You think you are better than we are. Than argonians are. Drunken idiots and slaves, is that what you are thinking? Well, the reality is different, and you'd better deal with it."

The whole conversation was wong. She didn't mean anything; of course she heard rumors that nords enjoy drinking, but she would never blame a stranger on drinking too much. As for the slaves, she never enjoyed that. All those looks of argonians and khajiits back in Seyda Neen always drove her far away from the market. She was supposed to enjoy having a slave, but she never did.

As if to apologise, she turned to the nord.

"Say you can stay on the horse for some days and still be able to hold a sword, would you like to have a trip to Cyrodiil?"

The nord gave a suspicious look. As if she's gone mad.

"Considering the good price we can march through the Nirn"

"Then tomorrow morning, at dawn, at the Mages Guild. I hope you do have a horse"

She hurried and left the inn, feeling the need of a fresh air. The place was not as crowded as when she got in, but what she did there was overwhelming. I even don't know his name. She held her head with her hands. Maybe that's for the better. Maybe it is the way it should be.

I should tell Rick what happened she thought. Or not. He won't leave me.

But later in the evening he understood her. It was not the easiest decision, but she needed that, she really did.

Elesane couldn't sleep the night; everything rested heavily on her. The decision to hire a stranger who - can you believe that - danced nearly naked on the table in the inn, and Rick's decision to let her on the biggest trip to Cyrodiil. Of course she's been traveling for quite a time, but mostly to the closest cities. Going to Cyrodiil meant traveling through wayshrine to the middle of the continent. She felt unease; maybe they were right and she should stay at home; maybe she should lock herself in the library as everyone does.

But that's not me. I'd better die rather than stay at one place.

I need to go there. I need to go to Cyrodiil and find those books.

Even if they are nothing but dusty tomes; even if they are damaged, or burned, or do not exist.

I have to go.