Online Lover

Online Lover- Ch. 1

It has been a couple of years since I've spoken to Amy. After what happened last year we both agree maybe it is time for a break. I honestly didn't want to take a break but I wanted to make Amy happy. Her happiness means everything to me. So I sucked it up. It was difficult though. She became closer to Shane and Lauren. I would see how she acted when I wasn't around her. It was almost like she could finally breathe and have fun. I hate that I caused her a lot of pain. I never meant too. If I could take back everything I would in a heartbeat. But as Amy moved on I realized I needed to.

I decided to start working at a local music store in downtown Austin. I always loved music and I thought if I were to get a job might as well be a something I loved. You might be wondering why I need a job. Well my parents own a food truck, well technically a smoothie truck that sells illegal drugs on the side. But anyways my parents had to get a "regular paying job" after they were busted with selling illegal drugs and getting slammed in jail. It was really weird at first. Seeing my dad in a suite and tie. Freaky! But he got a job easily. He actually has a degree. He went to University of Texas and earned a bachelor in Accounting. I have no idea why he earned a degree if he didn't use it. But anyways, he is now a Tax Accountant at an Accounting firm. He works long and hard hours so I don't get to see him as much. But every Sunday we will go to our favorite pizza parlor and spend some quality time together. As for my mom, well she didn't get a job that easily. It took months of applying and interviewing for jobs but she finally got one. She is a school nurse at the elementary school I went to. No she doesn't have any nursing qualifications but the principal thought that her kinds words and gentle touch could be great for the students. I am proud of both my parents. I know it is a life change experience in what they previously did but I wanted to help them out so that is why I decided to get a job also.

About a month after Amy and I decided to take a break I met a girl named Michelle. She is actually really cool and we became pretty close. Not as close as Amy and I were but we might get there someday. Well anyways Michelle and I can talk about a lot of things, things I thought I would never be comfortable talking about with someone other than Amy. But yes, we talk about school, our parents, work, boys, girls and sex. We have had some intense conversations about sex.

But yes you heard that right. We talk about boys and girls. I guess you could say I came out as bi about six months ago. After Amy started dating Reagan I started to realize my feelings for her. I have never told her how I felt though. I don't know how she would take it. I mean she gave me her heart but I stomped on it. I know it wouldn't be right if I were to confess my feelings to her for several reasons. One: well she told me she loved me and I denied her. How would it be if I suddenly told her I loved her. It would be painful. And I promised myself I would not cause her anymore pain for the rest of my life. I mean it is not as hard because we are not near each other but still. And two: she is dating Reagan. And I saw how happy they were and I promised myself also that I would not ruin that relationship. I mean Reagan already hated me. I didn't need Amy to hate me. But she probably does.

So After I realized my feelings for Amy I decided that I needed to move on. I dated some guys for a couple of weeks but none were promising. Then I met a girl named Melanie. Boy she took my breath away. She was tall, short light brown hair, brown eyes and the sexiest voice I've ever heard. She had the voice of Alex Vause.

So we dated for about seven months. The longest relationship I have ever been in. We enjoyed each other's company. She would make me laugh. No matter what mood I was previously in. She would take me to silent movies which I thought would be awful but it turned out they were amazing! She was a photographer so she would take beautiful pictures of the sunsets. One time we went to the coast and she took this beautiful picture of the sunrise. The way the sun's color reflected in the ocean was breathtaking. The problem was when we first kissed I didn't feel the spark I felt with Amy. I did feel a spark but it wasn't as intense as it was with Amy. I knew that Mel would never compare to Amy but I went for the relationship anyways. Mel was someone I cared about and I could see myself falling for her. I just hoped over time that would actually happen. And it did.

Unfortunately the feeling wasn't mutual. By the sixth month Mel started to get tired of me. I would confront her and she would deny it but I could see it in her eyes. She didn't feel that emotion towards me anymore. On my end, I fell hard for her. I would get excited when she would text me good night or morning. I would get this feeling in my stomach when she would kiss me. I would do anything for her. I guess you can say I was whipped.

But one night I went over to her house. She told me her parents weren't going to be home that weekend so we could spend some quality time together. I knew what that meant and I became very excited. I even bought new lingerie just for her. She told me to come over around six but I was too excited. I decided to surprise her and bring her favorite food; Chinese take out. But I was the one surprised.

As I walked into her room (her parent's left a spare key underneath the door mat) I was met with a naked guy on top of Mel and Mel moaning keep going. After Mel saw me things turned worst. She told me to my face that she wasn't in love with me anymore and that she would find someone else. That's all she said. She never said she was sorry or made up an excuse. She knew what she was doing and it was all planed. I was so pissed that I dumped the Chinese food take out on top of that guy's head and flicked Mel off.

So that is why I am here. Three months later I am still single going on my daily routines of school, work, home, school, work home. I haven't really seen Michelle lately because I have been making myself be busy. Every time I take a breather I can feel myself breaking down.

So tonight I'm meeting Michelle at a local coffee spot. I haven't seen her in a while and she is complaining that I don't have time for her. I roll my eyes at her words.

"Michelle, I don't want to meet any potential lover." I say linking my right arm with hers walking in sync through the door to the coffee store.

"Come on Karm. You need to get out there! It has been three months" She replied.

"I'm not ready. I mean I don't need to be in a relationship to define me."

"Oh, I like your confidence and your correct, you don't. But it would make you feel so much better. It would be fun! You are ready. I know you don't see it but a lot of guys and girls stare at you. You are totally marketable. You are gorgeous!" I try not to blush. I hate when people tell me I am gorgeous. I am flattered but never know how to respond. So I kindly smile.

We take our orders. I order a caramel macchiato and Michelle orders a Chai Tea Latte. We find the nearest table and head that direction.

"Give me your phone." I give Michelle my phone and let her do who knows what to it.

She hands me back a couple of minutes later. On my screen I see a dating app open called 'I Heart You". That is the worst name ever! I continue to look and see my username is Eye Candy. I look up from my phone and see Michelle smirking at me.

"Why does my phone have 'I Heart You" and a username Eye Candy on my screen?"

"Because I signed you up." She said still smirking.

I give her a death stare.

"Come on Karma. You need to get out there. You have to kiss many frogs to get your prince or princess. Just try this for me. I want you to be happy!"

My death stare dies down. I know she is trying to help. I appreciate it.

"Michelle I would never go on a dating website. I can find someone on my own. Thanks though." I say trying to let her down easy.

"Nope!" Michelle says popping the 'p' in nope.

I look at her. "What do you mean?"

"I put a lock on the app so you wont be able to delete it. Only I know the password and I am not giving it to you!" She says smiling, clearly very happy with herself.

I give a huff and scroll through my screen. Apparently she had thought about this for a while as my profile is already set up.

I look up from my phone and see Michelle mouth 'I Love You".

After Michelle and I finished our coffee and caught up to date with each other's life I headed home. It was around nine and I was getting ready for bed. I had work at eight in the morning. As I was turning off my lamp beside my bed I heard a sound coming from my phone.

When I checked my phone I saw 'One New Message" on my screen I unlocked my phone and saw it was from 'I Heart You'. My heart skipped a beat. That was really fast I thought. As I opened the message I saw it was from someone name "Donut Lover". I decided to read the message.

Hey Eye Candy, I read your profile and wanted to get to know you. Message me if you want ;).

Donut Lover

I turned my phone off and put it on my nightstand. That night I barely got any sleep. My mind was filled with who was this 'Donut Lover' and how would I respond.