Disclaimer: The First Party (The Author) wishes the Second Party (The Reviewers) to acknowledge that the Third Party (HELLSING and all its elements) does NOT belong to the afore mentioned First Party. The First Party also wishes it to be known that would the Fourth Party (creator's of HELLSING and their lawyers) not to sue the First Party for any rights infringed. This disclaimer will remain in effect for the duration of this written fan series.
Understand? Good 'cos I didn't but let's party anyway…^-^
Dedication: To my brother Jonathan who is going through some troubled times. I thought it was an insignificant gesture, but one that he appreciated immensely. So even though he'll never read this, I hope he realizes what his true calling in life is, and to also know whatever he decides to do with it, his lil' sis is behind him all the way!!
Chapter One: 'Introductions'
In which the audience becomes acquainted with the narrator and the protagonist of the story.
Oh all right I'll tell you, if you really want to know. But after the tale, you do exactly I say, understand? Good, in exchange for the story perhaps I can get a nights respite from you.
Now the reason why I'm reluctant to tell you this story is because it's not mine. Its really best if you get the story or facts straight from the horses' mouth, you know, as in 'ask her yourselves'. I wonder, did you even ask her to tell you in the first place? Well, did you?
And why not?
Ah. Well, then that's understandable; she does seem to be unapproachable most of the time. But you shouldn't be discouraged in the first place, she is, after all, your--Oh all right, all right, I'm getting to your story! You really should've asked her first, but we'll leave it at that.
Very well then, to business. You say you're most curious to know what she was like as a child? Well tell me how you imagined her to be first before I tell you. Hmmn, yes you're correct in thinking she was never as cold and unfeeling as she is now. While she has always been a serious individual, as a child she was more quiet and shy than imposing, reserved than distant, but -Alas!- due to circumstances beyond our mortal control, coupled with her own complicated personality, the end result is the woman she is now.
Actually, it's fortunate that you came to me for information about her; I have practically known her since birth thus it does makes sense that I be the one to impart to you her childhood. Did you know that her pet name when she was a little girl was 'Tegra Tiger'? Her father gave her that pet name, and yes by all means do remind her of that nickname, it's sure to cause smile and hopefully a laugh. Though don't let anyone else know, understand? It's a secret between us that I'm sure she wouldn't mind you knowing, but there are certain, uh, characters that would be thrilled to know this tidbit.
Though mind you, if need be I can set that character straight.
Myself? What of myself? Make up your mind: do you want a story about her or me? But you already know all about me so why the devil does the narrator need to be introduced? Wh--Oh very well, if you insist to be formal about things, you already know that I was an orphan since birth; never knew my parents nor do I have any knowledge of any other kith and kin. Having been given the name 'Walter con Dolneaz' after being deemed a ward of state of England, I also don't even know my true family name. Taking that into consideration, plus given my several years of service to this family, I therefore consider her and the Hellsing family as my own.
But prior to coming to the HELLSING Institute I have spent most of my young life in several orphanages and foster homes due to my, er, problematic nature and disrespectful attitude. No, I would rather not go further into that subject, but I will impart that I was the sort of child inclined to start fights…Ultimately, at the age of 13 I was enrolled into the British Army Cadets to, ah, hopefully 'knock some discipline into me' to quote my last foster mother.
How I came to HELLSING is due to the last item, for as you well know HELLSING receives its armed personnel direct from the army. These men must be of first-rate report, of at least 10 years service in the Royal British Army, or they must be specialists in different areas of warfare and intelligence so their valuable faculty could be placed at HELLSING'S disposal. Now promise to keep a secret? Good, well on occasion HELLSING receives intelligence officers from MI5 and MI6, so 'Mum's' the word on that subject, hah hah hah. Never mind, it's just a saying that strikes me as funny.
So after a year of service in the B.A.C., where my odd talent for causing trouble and natural flair for mayhem was put to good use and where I excelled in tactics and Weapon Systems Designing (particularly gun-smithing and upgrading), my superiors thought me worthy enough to be considered an applicant for an appointment in HELLSING. A 'phenomenal prodigy in warfare' they stated in the submission papers. Yes I know I'm going red…Ahem, after a private interview with Lord Godfrey Pryor Jagendorf Hellsing, the previous head of HELLSING and her father, I was relocated to the HELLSING's private army as part of the 'Weapons Division', despite my very young age (I was 14) and the dangers that I would be exposed to.
Oh no, my weapon of choice against the Undead is not your conventional firearm that uses blessed silver or mercury bullets, though I do fashion them for the HELLSING personnel. No, what I do use is a weapon of my own ingenious crafting: garrottes!! Do bear with me as I go into this, I'm rather proud of it! I have developed amazingly thin wires made from a fusion of steel alloy core for strength and aluminium for flexibility before finally being platinum coated for durability, and am able to launch the garrottes from special gloves designed exclusively for them. The microfilaments are also inlaid with fragments of diamonds as well as being imbued with blessed silver. A final deadly touch is added to the weapon: the Archbishop of Canterbury sanctified it. Hah hah hah, Alucard once boasted that my garrottes had no effect upon him; I promptly sliced off his left pinkie. After rejoining the severed digit he commended my preference of armament.
But enough of me and back to the true story at hand, as a child she suffered from the predictable malady that affects only child's: loneliness. Now combine this ill with her sensitive nature and lack of self-confidence in herself-oh yes, she displayed that nature during her childhood!- well, you can imagine the result: a solemn and insecure child, quite the contrary of what little children, particularly girls, should be.
But she is incredibly resilient; of that there's no doubt and never you overlook that fact.
She has weathered so much in her early years: as I mentioned there was the issue of loneliness and lack of poise, but apart from that there is the matter that she never got to know her mother, who died a few months after she was born. I also believe that Integra's personality was moulded into what it is now because she went without the loving guidance and confidence boosting that only mother's can provide their children.
Then there's the concern of the Hellsing family's legacy of fighting the Undead. Her father, Lord Godfrey was an extremely busy man loaded with the responsibilities of keeping England and the world secure from vampyres, therefore was not always around for his only child, though he did try his best. Despite that, she was still very close to him, and devastated when his Lordship died when she was thirteen.
Despite being recently orphaned, her trials didn't end there and she still persevered, becoming HELLSING's fourth leader at the same age. The day she became the youngest inheritor to HELLSING and its responsibilities was the turning point of her personality from tentative young girl to the 'Woman of Steel', as Alucard and the rest of the personnel, even the Royal Protestant Knights, call her.
But more on that later and on to her childhood…
'A Typical Night In Hellsing Manor…'
Earlier on a typical night in Hellsing Manor, Walter found the last remaining Hellsing dragging her laundry, insisting that she do it when he began to take it from her. When he demanded to know why she's doing his work, Integra blushed and didn't respond. As she walked away Walter distinctly heard her muttering, "I'll catch that thief!!"
Walter shook his head at the incident, as he was walking to the Laundry Room to see reason with his mistress. As he turned left into the corridor that leads to the Laundry Room, an ear-piercing shriek was heard followed by colourful curse words. After sprinting the rest of the way there Walter found an ecstatic vampyre walking quickly away from Laundry door. Alucard had locked his screaming and cussing Master inside. Walter stared at him, stunned. HELLSING's resident headache (and now kleptomaniac) had an armful of his Master's panties.
"Good eve Walter!! Don't you just LOVE 'laundry day'? Here: catch!"
And so saying he tosses one to Walter.
Alucard moved away happily, almost skipping, singing the chorus of Eminem's "Without Me" (Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me, 'cos we need a little controversy, 'cos it feels so empty without me heh heh heh WHOOO!!) while pitching the panties haphazardly all over the corridor. Walter had caught the garment on reflex but didn't stir to stop the 'Hell Personified' creature (he was still in shock at seeing so many intimate articles; in all his years of being Integra's private servant he never knew she had THOSE). Meanwhile a series of *thumps* from inside the Laundry Room is heard and the door disintegrates as Integra breaks it down with her shoulder (she's THAT mad), her usual cool demeanour forgotten in a rush of blind rage; terrible fury was on her face while she brandished her gun menacingly.
"YOU Fcensored MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A Fcensored PARASITE!! I AM GOING TO--WALTER?! QUICKLY, GIVE ME ALL THE WEAPONS ON YOUR PERSON!!! SECONDLY WHICH WAY DID THAT UNGODLY SON OF A female dog GO?!!!"
Faithful Walter hastily and rather distractedly gave her his three guns, bowie knife, garrotte and special gloves. Though he's still in a blank shock, Hellsing's most loyal retainer begins to blush a lovely shade of lobster red when he realizes that he's been caught holding his mistress' intimate apparel ("Wow, lace?"). But Integra doesn't notice what's in his hands and rushes off in the direction Walter was absentmindedly pointed to. Suddenly remembering something he calls her back.
"Ah, Miss Hel…erm Integra? D'you wish to leave, er…this in my safekeeping?"
Integra goes red as her steward, howls in anger then snatches the offending garment before giving a 'Hellsing War-Cry' ("AAAAAAALUUUUUCAAAARRRD!!!"). She stormed off to do battle, following the 'panty trail' of a son-to-be dead Undead.
"What an angry Integra." Walter vaguely murmurs and promptly walks in the opposite direction to her (unconsciously wiping the hand that was holding the lacey garment on his trousers), away from the gunshots, screams of outrage from a VERY peeved Hellsing and the insane yet extremely pleased laughter of a mad, mad vampyre.
Oh yes just another typical night in Hellsing Manor…
Well, decided on a dramatic Hellsing story with chapters, so thank you for abiding with an inexperienced writer (short stories are more my forté). Decided on a first person narrative purely on a whim, but I've chosen Walter because I have just drawn a picture of him as a young man (can anyone say 'BISHI-LICIOUS'?!! Mmmn…*salivates*) Ahem. Plus he is a perfect candidate to convey kid Integra's story. The purpose of this written fan series is solely to explain subject matter in HELLSING untouched by the anime or manga (like Walter's past) so excuse any excessive artistic indulgences. Thank you!!
As for a beta-reader, still don't have one so I was forced to resort to desperate measures: my mother. *sobs* I've sunk low, so can anyone please help me pleeeeease…
The OMAKEs are purely done in good fun and are strictly meant for entertainment (yours and mine)! Also they provide an outlet for the author's immaturity and odd humour while she completes her first serious chapter 'fic. Enjoy! Heh heh heh, forget the title of HELLSING Elite Trash Disposer; Alucard is HELLSING's 'Lingerie Marauder'!! *shudders with delight*
This series is (as always) also dedicated to you 'creatures of the night' that read FF.net fics.
Also devoted to all my (LOVELY!) reviewers (Damned Caeli, Teleute, Crescent, Beckster, Croaky, all of you! You know who you are!!) and also Angel Hungerford: thank you guys soooo much for you support, fair criticisms and kind words! YOU GUYS ROCK!! ^-^
So I'll see youse in the next chapter? *grins like an idiot* Peace and happy writing/reading! Oh and a Merry Christmas to you all!!