Hi my name is Amanda. This is my first SeaQuest story. I'm however a novice in the art of fan fiction writing. I've written many NSYNC and BSB stories, as well as, wrestling and Mighty Ducks for a few years now. After reading through some great and wonderful ELF's I decided to write one of my own. Though I feel mine will pale in comparison to some that I've grown to love in the few short days I've been reading SeaQuest fiction.

So sit back, relax and enjoy the story. Oh and a word of warning my pen name ain't MaybeI'llUpdateSoon just for the fun of it. I'm just so busy with work and class that its rare that I update but I try to at least once a month or so bear with me.

I've rated this story PG-13 due to the main theme of this story which I admit has been done so many times before. However mine will be different than many others 'cause it will also have a sorta sub plot involving Commander Ford.

Note: The lyrics are from Matchbox 20's 'Bent'


The vid -phone was like countless other vid-phones that Ben had seen in his life. Small, black and unobtrusive, while at the same time not adding anything to the room. It sounded like all the others too. It was a rarity that Ben ever received a call on his vid phone, since he really didn't have any family, both parents died 5 years ago and his "luxury item" wholesaler knew only to contact him via the internex. Everyone else who needed to speak with him was on the SeaQuest so they just came to him if they needed to talk with him or contacted on his PAL.

He was tempted to shut the phone off, not really in the mood to talk to anyone, who ever it was. Last week he had a fight with Lucas after the boy refused to help him play the ultimate prank on Commander Ford. Lucas managed to call Ben "to immature for his age" to which Ben himself responded with "yeah so better than an immature child who shouldn't even be on this fucking boat" They haven't spoke since then. He had also just received a brutal tongue lashing from Captain Bridger over coning the new Ensigns into thinking they had to pay to use the Maglev. No doubt, it was because of Lucas, who was the only one who knew of his mischievous act. As a result, he was banished to scrubbing toilets for the next month. One more screw up and he would be placed on probation.

Ben sighed and walked towards the phone. Don't ask why, but something compelled Ben to answer the phone, an inner instinct perhaps. Little did he know that this conversation would be unlike any he had ever had before.

* *

"Hello?" He answered somewhat distractedly not even bothering to see who was on the screen. Ben just wanted to hurry up and get rid of who was ever on the other end so he could take a nap before his shift in 2 hours.


It was the man's first impulse to hang up just from hearing that single word. He liked to consider himself a forgiving type, but after everything, Lucas had done to him he was so sure he'd ever burn all the bridges. However, there was something in the younger man's tone that compelled Ben to stay on the line. He turned to look at the Lucas but was met with nothing but a black screen. Lucas must have covered the camera on his vid- phone.

"Yes, Lucas?" Ben singsonged sarcastically, "What can I do for you?"

"Just listen to me, Ben," Lucas began in an uncharacteristic beg. "You're the only one who has ever really listened to me before and I need to talk to someone. Please, listen to me."

"Okay," the brunette began, completely focused on that weak, pleading voice on the other end of the line, forgetting about their fight and the trouble Lucas had gotten him into "Talk to me, Buddy. What's going on?"

"Everything's going on," Lucas said, sounding completely overwhelmed. "There hasn't been a shore leave in 4 months. Like shore leave would do me any good. If I stay with my father, he fucking parades me around like a freak show. If I stay with mom, she is either drunk or doped up on Prozac so I spend the entire time feeling I have to baby-sit a grown woman. But I can't stand not being on shore leave either. Life on this damn boat is so hard, just so hard. There are people telling me I shouldn't be on this fucking boat because I'm nothing more than an immature child, despite experiencing more in my short 15 years than they will ever experience. If I'm not wanted for computer and system work, I'm wanted for science research. God, I am so confused, it all hurts inside. I'm so confused, Ben. You've just got to listen to me, please."

Ben winced as he heard Lucas bring up their fight. He didn't mean what he said, he was just angry at the time. He opened his mouth to answer, but Lucas's voice cut him off. He listened as Lucas half sang/ half sobbed softly over the line, his voice stuttering as though he couldn't quite remember the words.

*****I started out clean but I'm jaded Just falling Just breaking the skin Start bending me It's never enough 'Til I feel all your pieces Start bending me Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in*****

It took Ben a moment to think of where he heard that song before, it sounded so familiar. Realization hit and he remembered that it was from the classic rock band Matchbox 20, a band his father listened to when Ben was a young child. He chuckled to himself as he remembered the first time he introduced Lucas to the primitive form of music called a compact disc. Lucas was baffled that anyone could listen to something so big and that only held at the most 90 minutes of music, unlike the music chips of today which are the size of a quarter and can hold up to 10 hours of music. However, Lucas did take a liking to most of the bands in Ben's CD collection, one of them been Matchbox 20. Actually, the first time Ben heard Lucas listening to that song, he'd thought how fitting the words were to Lucas' life. Though he did not dare not speak as Lucas began to talk again, his words tumbling over each other, as though he didn't have enough time to get them out.

"God, Ben, I can't do this any more. You don't know what it's like. They're all pulling me in different ways. I can't stand it. If I try to do something that just me, just Lucas, they find some way to take me away from it or I get in trouble because of it. They always need me do something. An idea, fixing a computer glitch, conducting experiments, hold their hair as they puke, smile and be the prodigal son. It's so tiring. Just all so tiring, it hurts so bad. I don't want to do this--"

"I never had a childhood," Lucas began abruptly. "I never knew what it felt like to be a kid. I never had a tree fort. I didn't watch cartoons. Comic books? Action figures? No, I had my math and physics books and my computer. I never had any real friends, till I met you. We are best friends, Ben ... right? Best friends?"

"Best friends," Ben confirmed, his voice choking a little. Why was Lucas bringing all of this up? He sounded so strange.

"You have always been my friend," Lucas told him with utter certainty. "We are best friends and you are my only true friend. You want to be around me for me, even if I'm 10 years younger than you are; but you wanted Lucas Wolenchez, a guy who you saw as a normal human who you could get into mischief with. You did not want me because of my high intellect or because of my great science research, or someone who could be paraded as a super genius. That's all I'm good for now. People just bend me, break me however they need to and I'm going along with it because I've never known how to act otherwise. You taught me that there was more to life than computers, and science. You taught me that life can be fun as well as challenging. Maybe you could teach me again, but it's too late."

"What do you mean 'it's too late?" Ben demanded, worry churning in his gut.

"I'm just so tired, Ben" Lucas whispered. "Tired of being what everyone needs me to be. Nobody truly cares for me. My mom doesn't know what love is. If I weren't smart, my dad wouldn't give me the time of day. The Captain hates me. He yelled at me for not getting the system upgrades done on time, but I was busy with projects for Dr. Westphalen at the same time. You hate me. There was a pause.

"Who am I, Ben?"

* *

"You're my friend, Lucas. You've always been my friend and I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't hate you, Lucas. Why don't you get away from all this for a while..."

"There's no getting away," Lucas gasped. "Everywhere, it's everything and choking me."

"Get away from this," Ben repeated desperately. "Take a leave of absence. Go on vacation see something new. Forget about everything for a little while. Take some time to go find yourself again. And y-you know what? I'll be waiting for you when you get back. Hell kid, I'll go with you. We'll take a road trip just you and I. It doesn't matter to me who you are or what you do. You've always been my friend since the first time I've met you and you always will be."

"Always--" Lucas echoed, sounding delirious and somewhat incoherent. "Forever. Ben forever sounds so nice."

Ben managed to fight back tears, afraid of what Lucas was going to say next. However, he was compelled to stay on the line. Hopefully, he could talk his friend out of this deep depression. There was silence on the other end of the line for a long, long time.

* *

"I took some pills, Ben."

"Oh, Lucas! No, come on--"

"I d-did. A whole handful. Right now, I'm lying here, on the floor, looking at your face. You look so healthy buddy. You must be doin' real well, huh? I wish I were doing that nice. Just so tired of it all these days."

"Lucas, let me get you some help, please. Don't end it like this!" Ben was screaming at the blank vid screen, feeling utterly helpless. Lucas was too smart and too strong a person. He would not let this happen. He could not let this happen!

"So tired of being twisted around like this, Ben." Lucas murmured sleepily. "Doing what everyone wants me to do. Being who everyone needs me to be."

"Lucas, don't do this, please," Ben pleaded. "If we were ever friends... call some help okay, you've got to! Let me help you."

"I just wanna talk to you for a little while, longer." Lucas said, not hearing his friend's words. "It's so nice to hear your voice again. Everything's so light now, Ben. I can feel myself floating..."


Then the song resumed. Only this time it was much more disjointed and barely understandable.

*****Can you help me I'm bent I'm so scared that I'll never Get put back together Yeah, you're breaking me in And this is how we will live With you and me bent...****

"Lucas, Lucas ... please, man. C'mon, answer me!"

But there was only silence.