Nov 2002

Disclaimer: It all belongs to George (Lucas, not my Leprechaun) & I just write for fun. The song belongs to a group called "Blackhawk" and I'm just borrowing the lyrics.

Author's Note: Oh god, someone stop me, I'm writing a Kyp/Jaina/Jag fic! AH! The focus is mainly on Kyp though. This is going to start J/J and end K/J, but it's going to be a multi-part fic with several parts in individual posts. The song lyrics will be in *'s at the top of each post. There will be roughly 17 parts (and that's cutting out one repetition of the chorus!).

Notes 2: This is AU (obviously) since it'll be K/J eventually... however, I'm taking some liberties and placing this about a year after Destiny's Way.

Note 3: A huge, huge thanks To DantanaSkywalker for helping me with Kyp's Characterization. I had no clue, but her pointers have helped me out alot! They've been invaluable.

Not Strong Enough To Say No

Part 1

*The sign says "Do Not touch" - you're out of bounds You're forbidden fruit, don't come around*

His slightly silvering black hair curled around his temples, sweat running down his face as he counted the last two of another twenty-set. His green eyes flashed with annoyance as he rolled onto his back and pushed his hair out of his eyes. His stomach muscles burned and his arms felt like they were about to fall off, but he didn't stop. He couldn't. Stretching out on his back he began another set of twenty sit-ups. Her image plagued him. Her brown hair plastered to her head as she crawled out from under her X- Wing. Her arms wrapped around a man, another man; not him. He gritted his teeth, turning over without a pause and forcing himself into another repetition of push-ups.

She'd been plain with him; she didn't want his company. Now that she was a Jedi Knight, had been for more than a year, she didn't need him anymore. Yet he couldn't bring himself to leave her. He couldn't bring himself to let her go. Not yet, maybe not ever. He swore softly, running an irritated hand through his hair before rolling onto his back again for another round of sit-ups. He'd lost count, over the last three hours, of how many sets he'd done. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered except sorting through the tangled web he'd managed to weave.

Why couldn't he leave? She'd made her choice clear. The fact that she didn't hide it from him, in fact seemed to enjoy telling him details, made it all the more obvious. She'd wanted him to know, wanted him to understand where he stood with her. Did she respect him at all? Beyond being a Jedi Master? It sure didn't seem like it. Since Jag had returned to her life, it was almost as if any progress he'd made with her hadn't happened. That stung, more than he liked to admit. She had finally started to see him as something other than an uncle, seen him as a man, the way he'd wanted her to see him.

His head fell back against the floor and he closed his eyes, his breathing unsteady. Was this his punishment then? To remain in the shadows of her life, never knowing what it was to hold her or speak to her without animosity? To never again see her smile at him, simply at another? He banged his head against the floor plating. Idiot! he told himself silently. He hadn't seen her for days and he was avoiding her, something very uncharacteristic for him.

Yet, he didn't need to see her to know she didn't want him around, he could feel it. She'd been his apprentice. His, Jedi Master Kyp Durron's, and she wanted nothing to do with him. And it was his own fault.