This is what happens when you are currently playing Pearl, Diamond, AND Platinum.
I don't own Pokemon. If I did, I would join Team Galactic.
Those two, rather meaningless words strike fear into all the hearts of the Sinnoh region. When those words were spoken, thought immediately was brought to the odd, spacesuit-wearing cult. They were everywhere, at every corner of every city. They talked nonsense; no one could comprehend their talks of a new world.
But neither could they.
The lowly grunts of the organization had no idea what this 'New World' would be like, or even how they could achieve such a thing. Their boss, a stoic man named Cyrus, rallied his underlings like a Honchkrow calling Murkrow to its service. He filled them with such hope that this "New World" would be free of strife, free of anger, and free of pain. But still, they could not comprehend such an almost impossible task.
"We must take control of the legendary Pokémon," Cyrus explained. As always, a weekly meeting was taking place in the HQ of Team Galactic. Located in Veilstone City, the rather large building was as intimidating as a Luxray. While the inside of the building was rather innocent, all that appeared to be there was a reception counter, really the building housed fancy machinery, living quarters for the many members, and secret labs that only the commanders, recruited scientists, and Cyrus himself could enter. All the rooms were connected by confusing warp panels that hardly anyone had memorized. And, of course, there was Cyrus' "show stage", as some of the grunts referred it to, where he made his elaborate speeches. Every Friday, or whenever something important had to be addressed, Cyrus would warp to his show stage and give a speech detailing the week's events or whatever the next mission would be. So far, Cyrus had not given any clear direction to what the team would be doing to create their "New World".
Cyrus had just come back from his trip to Lake Verity. "One of the Legendary Pokémon of the Lakes sleeps there," he explained in a flat, yet fluid voice. "While pursuing this creature immediately should seem imminent, acting rashly is not a good idea. We shall not test this Pokémon's power… yet. For now, collecting more energy for our inevitable plan should be our priority. And soon," Cyrus said in a louder voice. "Our New World will be complete!"
The crowd of grunts burst out in a roar louder than any Arcanine. The cheer didn't die down until Cyrus silenced them. "I have some assignments to give…"
He called two grunts forward. "Are you two familiar with Professor Rowan, by chance?"
The two grunts exchanged looks. "Uhhh, he's that one professor who studies Evolution, right?" one said.
Cyrus nodded, looking slightly distastefully at the grunts. They were grunts for a reason.
"You are correct. Similar to the research of Professor Elm, Professor Rowan studies Pokémon Evolution. Evolution is an interesting phenomenon. When a Pokémon evolves, a great amount of energy is released. If we could harness this energy, it could be a crucial component in the creation of our new world and summoning the Legendary Pokémon to help us. You two are bright. You see where I'm going with this?"
The grunts nodded. "You want us to get the professor's research!"
"Exactly!" exclaimed Cyrus. "Go to Jubilife City and ambush him! As I made my way back to Headquarters, I saw the professor and his assistant heading to Jubilife."
"Yessir!" the two grunts yelped simultaneously. The both made their way through the crowd and exited the show stage room.
Cyrus looked back at the crowd. "Now, I'd like my wonderful commanders to step forward."
At those words, the four Team Galactic commanders approached the stage.
First in the line of commanders was Charon, one of the newest members of Team Galactic. Hired as a scientist and just recently appointed as a commander, he was rather… strange, compared his comrades. He always was taking everything light-hearted, despite the organization's rather dark and questionable goals. Unlike the others, he did not battle and had no Pokémon. Sometimes, he wistfully reminisced about a Pokémon friend he had as a child, but he quickly dismissed any thoughts concerning it.
Next in line was Mars. She was young and perky, and, along with Charon, had recently become a commander. She had sneaky battle tactics, often using her powerful Purugly to finish off weak, unsuspecting trainers.
Following Mars was Jupiter. A fierce battler with a fiery personality, many of the grunts looked up to her in admiration. She could be bossy at times, but was still respected by those lower than her. Her favorite, as well as best, Pokémon was a Skuntank. It's foul odors and nasty moves were a pain on the battlefield.
Lastly came Saturn. He was one of the quieter, more reserved members of the team, and some considered him Cyrus' right-hand man. He was almost always glued to his boss' side and listened intently to his glorious plans of a new world. His Toxicroak was very powerful and never failed to mercilessly poison its opponents.
Cyrus looked proudly and the four. "Soon, we will be carrying out missions, and the four of you will be in charge. While your times haven't come as of yet, your roles in our plans will be happening in the near future."
"Yes, Boss Cyrus, sir!" the commanders said in unison.
"You may go back to your seats," Cyrus told them.
As they sat back down, Cyrus began to conclude his speech. "Once the pair I sent to Jubilife City return, I will give further instructions. Until then, let us create a New World!"
The crowd roared again.
"You are dismissed," Cyrus told them, and the members dispersed. Cyrus himself stepped on his warp panel and disappeared.
It was close to dinnertime when the meeting concluded. As the many grunts filled into the Galactic Cafeteria (Every time it was mentioned, someone giggled), Mars, Jupiter, and Charon sat at their own personal table, seceded from the rest. The cafeteria had a balcony in which the commanders sat at. They had the benefit of getting served first as well as watching the mindless grunts mill around below them.
The three commanders began to eat their Galactic food, but not before giggling about the name.
"I find it so very odd that everything inside this building has to be named 'Galactic'," Jupiter sighed. She picked at her spaghetti as if it were Saran-wrapped astronaut food.
"Well, we are Team Galactic," pointed out Charon.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Jupiter said, a little irritated. "Well, I don't think Team Rocket went around calling their stuff 'Rocket Cafeteria' and 'Rocket Spaghetti'."
"Well, it does add a little bit of humor into our boring lives!" Mars explained. She had been chowing down on the spaghetti and only paused for a moment to make her point.
"What humor does it bring?" Jupiter snapped. She was the only member, besides Cyrus (who no one joked around anyway), who had not found humor in adding the prefix 'Galactic' to everything.
Mars and Charon exchanged glances. Charon pointed at their table. "Galactic Table," he tried to say in a flat voice.
Jupiter didn't look amused.
Mars held her spork. "Galactic Spork!"
Jupiter glared at both of them.
Charon tried to keep a straight face, holding up his drink. "Galactic Dr. Pepper!"
Mars pointed at the ceiling. "Galactic fluorescent lights!"
The two kept naming random items around the cafeteria. Jupiter was silent until Charon said 'Galactic Ceiling Panels'.
"Okay, now you guys are getting dispirit." Jupiter sighed.
"Galactic Toilet?" Mars asked innocently.
Out of nowhere, Jupiter was dying of laughter. Through gasps of air, she tried to say "I surrender, you guys win!" Mars and Charon gave each other a high-five.
"I assume you know why it's funny?" Charon asked.
"You assume correct," Jupiter laughed, tears streaming down her face like a Bonsly.
"Don't take that as 'Use poop jokes around Jupiter to make her laugh'!" a voice sighed behind them.
Everyone turned around.
"Oh, hey Io!" Mars giggled.
Io walked out onto the balcony. She was a grunt, but she was a privileged grunt. Known by all of Team Galactic's members as the most powerful grunt, she was not one to back down from a fight. Her trusty partners were an Alakazam and a Dustox. "Smart people use offense and defense to their advantage" was her quote. While originally a nameless grunt, she was nicknamed Io because her best friend and her training partner was Jupiter. Many a time the position of Commander was offered to her, but she denied any offers to ensure none of her grunt friends would feel inferior to her. Still, everyone, including the commanders, respected her and looked up to her. The only member of Team Galactic who disliked Io was Cyrus himself, for unknown reasons.
"Is this seat taken?" Io asked, pointing a gloved hand at the empty chair.
"Nah, that's just our missing planet's seat," Jupiter laughed. She still hadn't got over the Galactic Toilet.
"Did he drift out of orbit?" Io asked looking at the others to ensure they understood her "clever" joke.
"I wouldn't say that," Charon began. "But I do say that he is being pulled by another's gravity!"
Io and Jupiter began to laugh insanely at Charon's joke. Even Charon himself began to lose it. The three were well aware of Saturn's relations with their boss. They were both envious and angry about his position, thinking he was uppity and trying to be a teacher's pet. Saturn was only around them when he need be, other than that he was by himself or with Cyrus. In order to relive stress and jealousy concerning Saturn, the other commanders frequently made jokes about him, similar to the ones they were making now.
The only one who wasn't joining in their giggle fest was Mars.
While Mars would admit she was jealous of Saturn, she couldn't bring herself to make fun of him in such ways. She had always had a small crush on him, as he was handsome and a powerful trainer. Every time meetings were held and the commanders were forced to sit together, she caught herself looking at him. And every time she did, Saturn smiled at her. Mars couldn't believe someone like him was a 'cold, outer planet' as Io put it. Anytime her fellow comrades made jokes about him, she couldn't help but refuse to join in. This would always follow with another horrible planet joke…
Jupiter was the first to take notice of Mars' reluctance. "Mars, is your atmosphere too thin? We're making hilarious planet jokes here!"
"She doesn't look too happy," Charon warned. "She does have the largest volcano in the Solar System! I think it's about to blow!"
Io began giggling again. "Stay in the Oort Cloud, Mars! We don't want to lose you!"
"Like you guys lost Saturn?" Mars asked.
Charon, Jupiter, and Io immediately stopped laughing. "What do you mean?" asked Jupiter slyly.
Mars looked at them with a hint of anger. "I think the reason why Saturn is always alone is because you guys never talk to him!"
The three exchanged cautious looks.
Mars didn't want to fake tears, but she did for some reason. What was she, a Mawile? "You all assume Saturn is a stuck up Trainer's Poochyena. Because of that he separated himself from us, thinking we wouldn't accept him as a friend. If only you guys would give him a chance…"
Io looked at Jupiter and Charon, who were dead silent.
"I'm going to go talk to Saturn tonight, and, tomorrow morning, we're going to eat Galactic Pancakes with him!" and with that, she stormed off the balcony.
It was silent for a few moments.
Even on the ground floor, the grunts had heard Mars' tantrum and were quiet. Not even a Clefable would have been able to hear anything.
Finally, Charon spoke up.
"I think Mars is going to have to go through the Asteroid Belt first."
I hope you all enjoyed! Here's a few notes to clear things up.
This story will be focusing on the many exploits of Team Galactic throughout the games. I'm mostly going off of Platinum (red flag being Charon), but there will be some inspiration from the anime, manga, and Diamond/Pearl. Some of the chapters will be filler in between their missions, but, I reassure you, it will be funny filler!
Yes, I am a ConjunctionShipper. Yes, it is one of my Pokemon OTPs. And I'm proud.
This was fun to write! Never in my life have I ever written down my witty planet jokes before!
My OC, Io, was fun to create as well! Her name comes from one of Jupiter's moons. Referred to as one of the four Galilean Moons, it is the closest satellite to Jupiter, hence Io being Jupiter's closest friend. Me so clever.
Next chapter: Galactic Pancakes! Need there be more said? Well, hopefully those grunts from Jubilife did something...
Question time: Whose your favorite Team Galactic member? Saturn's mine, but I do love Sird from Pokemon Adventures.