Disclaimer: I don't own Enterprise, Star Wars or anything else I've shamelessly ripped off. Thank you so much to everyone who review - hope the giggles have stopped, Drakcir - and also, to my wonderful beta, HopefulNebula who beta-ed it.

No Malcolm log this time... but for the first time ever a Hoshi log! Also a broadcast. Enjoy and please leave a review!


~Memorial Service~

Sub-Commander T'Pol's Personal log.

The entire away team - minus Lt. Reed - are currently in sickbay. I am uncertain as to what happened, but apparently, they nearly drowned. I was not aware they were near any water so I can not understand the situation.

Also the leader of the planet wishes to buy Lt. Reed for some reason. The leader said that he was a miracle water maker. How illogical. How can Lt. Reed make water? How can any human make water?

I knew the Captain would soon be leaving Sickbay and would therefor comeback onto the bridge which would mean I would be unable to work due to his... uncontrollable excitement for new planets with other life forms that want to kill us.

It is a trait I have noticed in many humans, The Commander, for instance, seems to take delight in getting to know every female he meets... rather well.

So, I took the chance and did all my scans for the next two days, including ones to try and find out what happened to the Captain's cat treats.

Why would he need cat treats? I though his animal was a dog... unless the 'cat' in cat treats means they are made from cats. I must study this further.

From detailed scans I have concluded that Captain Archer's cat treats must have burned up during entry into the planet's atmosphere.

The Captain has just contacted me. He has left sickbay and is on his way to the bridge, ranting about some kind of chest wound. After I told him about the true fate of his cat treats he was quiet for a moment. Then he told me he wishes to have a memorial service for his cat treats later today.


End Log.


Travis Mayweather's Personal Log, Supplemental.

Later Today: Wow, what an adventure! We all nearly drowned. If it hadn't been for some quick thinking by The Commander we would have been wetter than... something... wet. Yeah, wetter than something wet. Like... the ocean or as I like to call it, the big blue wet thing.

After a while in Sickbay - Dr. Phlox gave me some nice medication by the way, made the ship full of lots of new colors... Phlox keeps looking at my neck in a strange way. I wonder if he spotted something on it that needed treating?

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes. After Sickbay some stuff happened... dunno what, I wasn't there. I bet it had something to do with Hoshi, T'Pol and lots of Jelly! Hmmmm.... Jelly... then... oh, pretty lights... all swirly.

No! Must stay on subject... is it just me or am I starting to fade? Oh, no! I'm coming apart at the molecular level!

Wait... the mirror just steamed up. Oops.

End Log.


Captain Archer's Personal Log, Supplemental.

Computer, start...

How the hell did I get a chest wound???

Computer, Pause.


Commander Tucker's Broadcast to the Whole Ship.

Today is truly a sad day for us all.

It is a day that shall be mourned by every crew member on this ship. Yes, the worst has happened... It's the day we have all feared for so long...

Someone lost the coffee recipe. We are out of coffee, please DO NOT panic, as I am broadcasting this message to you, every available crewman is searching every nook and cranny of this ship, we have highly trained engineers searching the database and chef is currently trying to... wait, that's not what I'm supposed to say? What is it then?

...h. Right. The Cap'n and his stupid tre- wait, is this thing still on? Ahem -

Today is truly a sad day for us all.

It is a day that shall be mourned by every crew member on this ship. Cap'n Archer's cat treats, passed into immortality today.

Everyone must look sad. There will be a memorial service later on today at 15 hundred hours. Attendance is ordered, no excuses will be accepted.

And now, on a lighter note.

The winning lottery numbers are;

7, 12, 17, 21, 33, 48 and the bonus is... 8!

The jackpot was won by one person and the prize is... cat treats?! Okay, who has messed up my notes?

End Broadcast.


Ensign Hoshi Sato's Personal Log.

The service today was so beautiful! Everyone looked sad and wore black... except for Travis who was grinning like a maniac and wouldn't stop jumping up and down. I passed him a moment ago and he seemed to be singing a little song about coconuts. Not only that but every time he sees either T'Pol or myself he gives us a wink and mouths 'Jelly'.

What is up with that?

So there we were all sitting, looking suitably sad when the Captain entered, supported by the Commander who looked as if he was about to fall asleep. The Captain looked as if he was about to burst into tears, right there and then. But Commander Tucker whispered something into his ear and he seemed to regain some sort of power from some hidden supply. He stepped away from the Commander and stood on the podium, a blown up picture of the cat treats behind him and a small black box beside him that was supposed to have the remains of the deceased only we didn't have any bits left, so Malcolm slipped in some dust.

He's currently lurking at the back, hoping the Captain won't notice him, as he blames Malcolm for the death of his cat treats. Anyway, The Captain took a deep breath and began to talk.

"These Cat treats made this place special... they were the heart and soul of this ship. I-I can't believe that they are really gone... and you! You killed them! You murderer!" screamed the Captain before jumping off the podium and flying at Malcolm.

What followed is something I never want to have to see again.

The Captain reached Malcolm and began to attack him with his hands. Malcolm reacted purely on instinct and fought back.

He knows Kung Fu!

Malcolm totally kicked ass. Then he ran away, muttering something about seeing weird green letters. Oh! Maybe it's a new language I can learn.

The Captain broke down in tears. None of us knew what to do. I would have gone over and tried to cheer him up myself, honest, but I wearing my new top and I didn't want to stain it with Captain tears. They are a menace to get out o f fabric.

In the end, the Commander decided to try and stop him crying. Commander Tucker came up to the crying Captain and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry... your cat treats are one with the force... force of nature! Yes, nature." he said before breaking into a nervous laugh.

I wonder what he meant?

End Log.


And that's your lot for this time.

Check back soon for the next part! Please leave a review.