AN: I new one. A longer note at the bottom. Characters belong to SM.
I had a love-hate relationship with Valentine's Day. Bearing witness to couples in love didn't send me into a sour, man-hating rant. I fully supported love. I mean, I was head over heels in love myself. Except…he didn't know I existed as anything beyond his brother's best friend. That is why this holiday could go scratch.
Emmett, on the other hand, was not a fan of "Stupid Cupid" day. So much so that he threw an anti-Valentine's party, each one more ridiculous than the last. He was my best friend – one of the best people I knew - in this shitty world, which is why I willingly helped organize the party every year for the past five years. This year was no different.
Since the tender age of seven, when I first moved here to live with my dad, Emmett and I were thick as thieves. He didn't push me into the mud, pull my lopsided pigtails, or wipe his boogers on me. On occasion, secretly of course, he indulged me by being the Ken to my Barbie. We don't speak of those times anymore. He was always boisterous and full of life. I was immediately endeared to him because of his cute curls and a set of dimples that no one could resist. Even my simple seven year old self.
At the age of twelve, he was my first kiss. It wasn't exactly the most romantic, but as romantic as anything could be at twelve. Really, it should have never happened at all, but we were little shits that could never mind our own business and his older brother's room was the coolest place in the world. We each had vastly different reasons.
One day while Edward was out doing whatever nineteen year olds do, we snuck into his room. I was scaling the walls in excitement just to be breathing the same air as the best looking guy in the world. Emmett, being the nosy little brother, stumbled upon Edward's porn collection. He grabbed the movie he deemed the most interesting and we made a mad dash back to his room. Popping it in and making sure it was on mute, we watched as a big-boobed, red head lay on the kitchen counter with her legs spread open in the air.
For the whole ten minutes we watched that movie so many emotions crossed my mind. Firstly, I was in awe of this woman and how she was able to get her knee to touch her forehead while flat on her back. However, that wonderment turned into a slew of insecurities and what-ifs. Was that what Edward liked? Did he like girls with red hair and breasts that looked like small basketballs? Would he be interested in me if I learned to kiss like the lady - and I used the term loosely - in the movie? Though, in my opinion, it was really sloppy with way too much spit. When I realized the hairy guy was going to drive his car into her back garage I turned the TV off.
All afternoon I couldn't get that video out of my head. Well, not the actual video, but what it told me about Edward and what I needed to do to get him to like me. Even Emmett called me out on my behavior.
"Be my first kiss," I begged Emmett. Who better to practice kissing with? We didn't like each other like that, and maybe he and his brother liked the same thing and I could get some insight.
Emmett looked at me like I had grown a second head, but because he was a boy emerging on puberty it didn't take much to convince him. However, I did have to agree to let him squeeze my boob. I didn't have much there anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. It was okay as far as first kisses go. It started as just our lips attached, but that wasn't what the people in the video were doing. Feeling brave I stuck my tongue out. Emmett froze for a second, but finally my followed suit. Neither of us knew what the hell we were doing, but it was a good starting point. It was something else we never spoke of.
Needless to say, Edward wasn't putty in my hands after that first kiss with Emmett.
It wasn't until I was seventeen did I finally let Emmett in on my secret that I was crushing on Edward. Hard. For the past ten years. He teased me relentlessly, asking what I could see in his dorky, nerdy brother. I rolled my eyes and punched him as hard as I could.
I guess by high school standards, he was pretty nerdy. For the first few years I knew him, he wore braces that eventually gave him a brilliant smile, but I was probably biased. His early puberty years weren't kind to him, either. For months, his voice was squeaky and he hadn't mastered volume control. It was as if his skin went from pimply to dry to oily until around nineteen or twenty when it finally evened out.
His hair was in a league of its own. It was wild, but stylish at the same time – when his cowlick wasn't so prominent. However, if you asked Edward, he'd describe it as unmanageable. He had reddish hair that often garnered him the nickname 'Ginger' which he hated. It wasn't a fiery red that I attributed to that nickname. The only way I could describe it was, maybe, a muted bronze. In the sunny summer months, I could even see dull blond streaks throughout some strands.
He had worn glasses since I'd met him, but no one made black plastic specs look so good. I frowned the few times during his college years that he tried using contacts. They weren't him and he didn't need to impress anyone.
His head was always in a book, but what's so bad about that? He didn't date much in high school, as far as I noticed – and I noticed everything about him – but in no way did that bother me.
He was a Star Wars obsessed, WoW playing, encyclopedia quoting, Dungeons and Dragons loving, homework-is-my-favorite-pastime geek and I loved him.
Now, at twenty-two, I was still trying to get Edward to notice me. It was even harder now that he was a doctor and I was a cashier at the super market.
"Bella," Emmett shouted even though I was barely ten feet away from him. "Where are the black balloons and paper daggers?"
"Uh." I looked around the disheveled living room of the Cullen household. Their house was massive, which made an awesome space for hosting parties. Valentine's Day wasn't until tomorrow, but since Emmett had class and I had work we had to decorate a day in advance. "They might be in the kitchen. Lemme go see."
I stopped in my tracks when I saw Edward's ass stick out from the fridge as he searched the inside.
Be cool. Be cool.
"Hey, Edward," I greeted him as casually as I could. Inside, my heart was frantic and butterflies were break dancing in my gut.
He looked up, holding a block of cheese in his hand. "Hey, Bella. What's going on?" I watched with an unwarranted, intensified interest as he grabbed a cutting board and knife. I watched as he easily sliced through the multi-colored Colby cheese, only to look up when his hand suddenly stopped. I looked up to find him staring at me expectantly.
"Oh, um, I'm good. Helping Emmett decorate for tomorrow. The party. That I'm helping him with. That's tomorrow." I cursed at myself for my pathetic ramblings. I had a decent vocabulary but was reduced to an incompetent nothing in this man's presence.
He looked at me oddly, pushed his glasses up his nose, and continued cubing the cheese.
God, I'm a spaz.
"You going?" I asked, trying desperately to save face.
"I'll probably stop by for a minute. I'm on call tomorrow night so we'll see."
"Cool. I'll be there…or here since this is where the party is." Fuck, I'm an idiot. "Well, I gotta go finish helping Emmett. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." I waved awkwardly, at the same time taking backwards steps.
I heard him chuckle as I hightailed it out of the kitchen.
"Were the balloons there?" Emmett asked.
He gave me a knowing look. "Was Edward in the kitchen?" He stared at me while trying his hardest not to laugh. I narrowed my eyes at him, daring to make fun of me.
"Get your own damn balloons, asshole," I shouted when he burst out laughing.
The party was in full swing with people enjoying themselves at every corner by the time I arrived. The music was loud and the conversations were louder. The liquor was flowing and singles, as well as couples, were having a good time mutilating the various cupids hung throughout.
I spotted Emmett sitting on the couch next to his sister Alice. I hadn't expected her to be here tonight. I rolled my eyes, but made my way over to them anyway. I didn't know what her problem with me was, but there was definitely an issue. It hadn't always been hostile. She was two years older than Emmett and me so there really weren't many opportunities to hang out and get to know each other much. We ran in different circles. I would say hi and we could make small talk, but when I reached my sophomore year that all changed. What I did to piss her off, I had no idea.
"Hey, guys." I plopped down on Emmett's lap and grabbed the beer out of his hand, downing the rest. I heard a disgusted grunt to the side of me before Alice stalked off. I watched her, highly amused.
"What's her problem with me again?"
"Hell if I know." He shrugged. "The turnout was great, huh?"
"Yeah. Do you even know all these people?" He probably did. Emmett had managed to make a lot of friends in the small trade school he attended. I, on the other hand, only knew about ten people here. I hadn't made much of myself after high school.
"Most of them, yeah. A lot of them came because of word of mouth. It's all good. I'm gonna go try to find the future ex-Mrs. Cullen. You gonna hang out?"
"For a little bit; I have a double tomorrow." I shot my hand out to stop Emmett before he got too far. "Is Edward here?"
He rolled his eyes, but smiled playfully. "Last time I saw him he was in kitchen getting a drink."
The kitchen was empty save for two people who I didn't recognize. I searched, not too subtly, for Edward. He was nowhere to be found. I began to surmise that he had been called to the hospital.
I tried enjoying the party, but it held no interest to me if he wasn't around. I spotted Em talking to a few guys.
"I'm crashing in your room," I told him forlornly. Love or no love, I didn't want to be around happy people.
He held up his fingers to the guys and walked me to the bottom of the stairs. "He's not here?" I shook my head sadly. "You could make life so much easier on yourself if you just told him how you felt."
I shrugged. "Maybe, but we're worlds apart. I'll see you later." I kissed his forehead and walked up the stairs. I texted my dad, Charlie, letting him know where I'd be, and shed my work shirt as soon as I walked into Emmett's room. There was a pair of sweats and tee that hadn't fit him since fifteen that he kept just for me when I slept over.
Naked, I stepped into the connecting bathroom that he shared with Edward. I wrapped a towel around my body and turned the shower on. Waiting for the hot water, I brushed my teeth and let my hair down, scratching at my scalp. My hair was wild, but damn if it didn't look good.
"Em, can I…" Edward walked through the adjoining door, freezing when he saw it was me. I took quick inventory of my husband-that-didn't-know-he-was-my-husband. He was clad in my favorite outfit for him – boxer briefs. His hair was messier than usual, his eyes were glossy, and his breath wafted with the smell of undistinguishable alcohol. He was drunk, or very tipsy.
"Sorry, I thought you were Emmett."
"No." I shook my head, stopping to lick my lips when his hand lazily roamed over his smooth chest.
Holy hell, he man-scaped! That was new.
He stepped closer, bringing his hand to brush through my hair. "I like your hair like this."
"You're drunk," I whispered, though I wasn't protesting the contact.
"Perhaps." He leaned in closer. "Does that bother you?" he breathed in my ear.
Did it? It probably should. I should be offended that the only reason he was coming on to me like this was because he wasn't in his right mind. I had to look at it from another angle, though. He would never come on to me, ever, if he was sober. I was out of his league and didn't have a shot with him. This could be my only chance. So while I should have been smarter about the situation, thought more highly of myself, I just couldn't let this opportunity go. It wasn't a pity party for one I was throwing myself. I knew Edward. As creepy as it was, I watched Edward and paid attention. I absorbed everything we spoke about when we had a few decent conversations. I wasn't his type. Edward was heavy into women with smarts – more so than anything else. That definitely wasn't me.
I was more than aware that there was a very good chance he wouldn't remember this in the morning.
"No." I stopped him from pulling his hand away."I like the way that feels."
He stepped impossibly closer, guiding his hand to my naked thigh. "I like the way you feel."
This Edward was completely foreign to me. He was confident and bold. Sure of his touch as he used a lone finger to trace from my thigh to knee and back up again.
"Can I kiss you?" I murmured, drunk in my own right from his caresses. It also helped that he wouldn't remember this in the hours to come.
Instead of responding, he molded his lips to mine, eliciting embarrassing porn like moans from somewhere deep inside. In my defense, I had waited fifteen years for this moment.
"I want to touch you," I told him while I lowered his underwear. I had to act fast. Sobriety had a nasty habit of crashing down at the most inopportune times. Before he probably realized what I had just said, I had my hand wrapped around his cock, savoring the smooth skin. I looked down as I began stroking the most prized possession that didn't belong to me. Nothing in the world could be described as perfect…expect for this. It was a flawless beige color with a pinkish cut tip. Just the slightest hint of blue vein could be seen running along the length.
"Bella," he panted against my neck. "Faster," he demanded harshly.
I pumped faster, gripped tighter. I felt his cock jump and took it as a sign that he was almost there.
"I want to feel you inside me, Edward." I unwrapped the towel, exposing myself to him. I spread my legs wider hoping to entice him.
"It's glistening," he rasped. Two fingers ran across my soaked entrance. I bucked my hips as the same two fingers entered me and pumped agonizingly slow.
"Edward, please," I begged when it seemed like he would do nothing else with anything but his fingers.
He smirked quickly before dipping his head and licking my nipple. He bit lightly, making me shudder in absolute bliss.
He pulled back but continued to tease my nipples. I watched as he removed his hand from between my legs and used the moisture to rub himself. I watched in rapt attention as he moved to finally enter me, but there was also a moment of hesitation. In a panic, I grabbed him and guided him inside before he could back out.
The feeling of him inside me was nothing I could ever describe. It was perfect without him even having to move.
"Bella," he moaned when he was completely sheathed. He was still, but his breathing was erratic. We both needed a moment just to feel. It was overwhelming for the both of us. I wanted this man, loved him, and being with him like this was something I was sure would only happen in my dreams.
"Move, Edward," I instructed him softly when my need for friction become priority over anything else.
He started slowly. Holding on to my hips, he pulled out and pushed back in before he was completely out. While it felt amazing, I needed more, but didn't want to seem too demanding as a lover. Leaning back a little more, I used one hand to grope my breast and the other to rub my clit. This spurred him on to move faster.
"Oh God, Edward! Just like that."
He pumped faster, pumped harder.
"I'm sorry, baby, I'm not going to last longer." In my emotional, aroused state, the term of endearment had tears burning my eyes in an effort to keep from falling. This moment, no matter how short and hurried, would be what I held on to. To be called 'baby' by the man I could never obtain would be the moment I would look back and smile at.
Embarrassed by my crying, I lifted myself up, wrapping my body around Edward. With ease, he held on to ass, taking me against the door. He pumped furiously while I sucked and licked, switching between his earlobe and neck.
Edward stilled underneath me while his grip only tightened. I hadn't gotten off, but I had gained so much more. I was pretty sure that his drunkenness and more emotional instability had played a part in my lack of orgasm.
I slide down the door slowly. He held my hand while I steadied myself on wobbly legs. I smiled gratefully when I felt a bit sturdier and lowered to clean myself up. I couldn't find it in me to do anything but watch when he began moving around the small bathroom.
"Do you want to lay down with me in the room?" he asked, his words still slurred.
"Yeah," I answered shyly. I had basically seduced this man and now I couldn't look him in the eyes. "I just need to take a shower first. I'm kinda gross from work." Among other things.
"I'll be in my room when you're ready then."
I watched his naked ass walk back into his room, closing the door behind him. Almost too giddy too function, I took a shower and processed what just happened.
I just had sex with Edward Cullen!
I should feel bad, and on some deep rooted level, I did, but not enough to regret it. Would it have been better if he was sober? Of course, but I wasn't Edward's type, so getting him drunk was the only way we could ever happened.
I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I dried off quickly. The topping on this drunken sundae would be spending the night with Edward even if all we would be doing was sleeping.
I knocked lightly, letting him know I was coming in. It was dark inside, but by memory I knew exactly where his bed was.
"Edward?" I whispered. I saw his toned body on the bed laying face down. As gingerly as I could I sat on his bed and rubbed his back with a feathered touch. "Edward?" I heard his soft snores.
I didn't immediately leave. I considered staying anyway and gluing myself to his side, but my Edward high was wearing down. If I stayed the night, and he woke up wondering what the hell I was doing in his bed it would break my heart. It was better if I separated myself now; start preparing early for the regret and maybe disgust I would see in his eyes the next morning.
With a gentle kiss to his shoulder blade and a quiet thank you for the best night of my life, I walked out of Edward's bedroom.
AN: Thanks to Chandrakanta D'Aman to beta'ing this chapter. I bit the bullet and posted this story. I wanted to wait until it was finished before posting, but without the urgency of updating, I wasn't writing anything at all. With that being said, there won't be a schedule for this story, but I promise to try my hardest to update somewhat regularly. Please review if you feel so inclined. Thanks!