Author Notes: This is the second and last chapter of this story and it`s the reason why this story is rated "M". If slash isn`t your cup of tea, don`t read it and everyone else: Enjoy! =)
Sherlock was adorable.
John smiled to himself as he ran his fingers through Sherlock`s soft curls. Sherlock didn`t stir at the gentle touch and just snuggled a little closer to John, as he slept on.
Who would have thought that Sherlock would be so relaxed in his sleep? The few times, John had caught him asleep, it had been after solving a complicated case and Sherlock had just crashed where he stood, instead of falling asleep in his own bed. He had looked far from relaxed sleeping half bent over the kitchen table or curled together in his favorite chair. Maybe it made a difference that Sherlock slept in his own bed for once or maybe...
John chuckled quietly as Sherlock grabbed the fabric of John`s pajama top and nuzzled his nose against his throat. Yes, maybe Sherlock didn`t look like his mind was working on high speed, like it even seemed to do, when he was asleep, because John was with him... or maybe Sherlock was just so emotionally drained after the last evening that his body`s need for rest had finally overruled his brilliant mind.
Be that as it may, John was only glad that he was allowed to hold Sherlock in his arms and watch over him in his sleep. After all, the evening could have ended very differently.
John shuddered at the thought of what would have happened, if he hadn`t noticed the pain that had clouded the expressive blue eyes of the man he loved, after John`s cruel words. Or worse... what would have happened if Sherlock had been successful with his plan and had seduced John, without neither of them baring their feelings to each other?
John gnawed on his lip at the thought. It was still not entirely clear to him what Sherlock`s motivations behind his behavior had been. John had some suspicions about them, but they would have to talk about everything later, if they didn`t want to create more misunderstandings.
As if he had heard his thoughts, Sherlock stirred and sleepy eyes blinked up at him.
John expected the sleepiness to fade from the blue depths at once and be replaced with the usual, analytic sharpness of Sherlock`s gaze, but he was wrong. Instead of bolting from the bed to start on some important experiment, he had just thought of, Sherlock cuddled contently against John`s side and looked like he couldn`t think of a better place to be.
John kept stroking Sherlock`s hair and smiled to himself as he felt Sherlock leaning into his touch.
"You like that." A nod against his shoulder was the only answer he got.
"Sherlock," John started tentatively as he glanced down at the tousled curls, on his shoulder. "We need to talk."
John had never witnessed such a violent reaction to these simple words. One moment, Sherlock was relaxed and cuddled against him and the next second, he had gone completely stiff and brought as much distance between them as possible.
"There is nothing to talk about, John, when you have decided that you have made a mistake, last night, in coming here. Many people think they want something, when they make a decision in the middle of the night, only to realise that they have been wrong... in the morning. I don`t understand why the time of the day makes a difference, but if you..."
John interrupted Sherlock in the only way he could think of. His lips found Sherlock`s, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and shut Sherlock up successfully.
Blue eyes widened as John rolled them over, so that he leaned over Sherlock as he kissed the uncertainty from the lips of his beloved genius. "I could never make a mistake by deciding to be with you, Sherlock," he murmured against the soft lips as he leaned on his elbows and met Sherlock`s confused gaze.
"Why... what is there to talk about then?"
John rolled his eyes in exasperation and chuckled at the same time. Trust Sherlock to solve a crime in a few hours, but be unable to figure out the most basic rules of human interaction.
"There are still some things, which aren`t clear to me," John held up a finger. "Firstly, why did you decide on seducing me, last night, when you didn`t really want to go through with it?"
Blue eyes widened, before Sherlock shook his head in distress. "I wanted to... do it. It wasn`t that I didn`t, but..." Sherlock bite down on his lower lip and gazed at his side. "I thought... that you wanted me... my body," Sherlock added as John opened his mouth to answer to that. "I have noticed how you... looked at me, John."
Their eyes met and John noticed the nervousness and uncertainty in the usually self-confident gaze as Sherlock forced himself to continue. "I`m... not very experienced in that area, but I... I knew that I wanted you as well."
John had wondered that since last night. The advances from Sherlock had taken him completely by surprise. John hadn`t expected that Sherlock saw him as anything else than a friend and colleague. Usually, John was quite good at noticing when someone was interested in him, but Sherlock had proven again that he wasn`t like everyone else.
"Since... the pool."
Sherlock didn`t have to elaborate what he meant by that. John certainly would never have forgotten how it felt to wear a bomb on his body and how Moriarty had threatened to kill them both. He still suffered nightmares from that experience.
Nightmares, in which Sherlock shot at the bomb and they were both killed in an inferno or worse... nightmares in which Moriarty let John live, but gave one of his snipers the sign to shoot Sherlock. After one of these nightly ordeals, John always had to make sure that Sherlock was still alive and he didn`t even mind finding him engrossed in some disgusting experiment at 3am on those occasions. Still, although the memories of that day were still crystal clear in John`s mind, that was...
"That was months ago."
An elegant eyebrow rose at that statement. "If I`m not mistaken, you are interested in me for much longer and haven`t acted on it."
John felt a blush creeping into his cheeks, but he still nodded. "I thought you weren`t...," he made a vague gesture with his hand. "I assumed you were only interested in The Work."
"I am... I was, until... your presence started to distract me." Expressive eyes flickered down as if it was a shame to be distracted by anything. It probably was for Sherlock.
"My body," Sherlock took a deep breath and John waited patiently as he continued. "I became sexually aroused by you and I thought it would help to give into my needs. I didn`t allow myself to dwell on anything else I could want from you, until last night, I..." John had to lean farther down towards Sherlock as the next words only tumbled from Sherlock`s lips as a mere whisper, spoken against the pillow as Sherlock averted his gaze. "When I wanted to seduce you, I didn`t want... I didn`t want it to be only something physical between us and yet... I knew or thought that you, only..." Sherlock shrugged, his usual eloquence leaving him as he kept on staring to his side.
It took John a few moments to process what Sherlock had just told him. For Sherlock to admit that he had feelings for John was like saying I love you for other people and John felt a sudden warmth spreading through his chest at the realisation.
He could question Sherlock`s motives farther and he might even get answers from him, but... he had learned everything he needed to know. It would be cruel to force Sherlock to speak at length about his feelings, when Sherlock clearly didn`t know how to put them into words. Instead, John traced a finger over one prominent cheekbone and angled Sherlock`s face to kiss him gently and slowly.
"I don`t want a mere physical relationship either. I want you, all of you, Sherlock."
The blue eyes lit up as if someone had sparked a whole fire in their depths at John`s words. If he had known how beautiful Sherlock looked, when a genuine smile covered his whole face, John would have confessed his feelings much earlier.
Their next kiss was far from gentle and soft as their mouths moved against each other, tongues darting out to lick and taste as they lost themselves in that new experience.
It was perfect.
Sherlock slung his arms around John`s shoulders to drew him closer, until they were pressed against each other. He wanted to feel John, all of him, now that he knew that their relationship wouldn`t solely be about sex.
Sherlock rolled his eyes as he felt the fabric of John`s ridiculous pajamas against his bare skin. They were in the way and Sherlock hated it when something got between him and what he wanted the most and that was John, right now.
Impatient hands tucked at the hem of the annoying piece of cloth, until John broke the kiss with a chuckle. "You only need to say something, you know."
Sherlock merely hummed in response, but couldn`t keep the happy smile from turning his lips upwards at John`s teasing tone.
It took John only a few seconds to remove the offending pajama top and to give Sherlock a free view of his bare chest, but when John leaned back down for another kiss, Sherlock shook his head. "All of it."
An eyebrow rose at that and Sherlock felt himself blush under John`s stare.
"Are you sure?"
Sherlock forced himself to bite back his standard remark to stupid questions as he met John`s steady gaze. "Of course, I`m sure. I might not have much experience, but I always know what I want."
His words came out more confident than Sherlock would have thought possible in that situation, but the tone of his voice seemed to do the trick. The last barrier between John and him fell as the pants were thrown to the floor. And it became obvious that John hadn`t been unaffected by their activities.
Sherlock`s gaze remained fixed on the proud erection, which rose from among a nest of light curls, until a quiet chuckle from above made him aware of his stare.
Sheepishly, Sherlock met John`s amused eyes.
"It`s not like you haven`t gotten one yourself." A gasp escaped past Sherlock`s lips as John`s finger brushed over the top of his own, hard length. Christ, if it felt so good when John only teased him lightly, how would it feel when he really set his mind on pleasuring him?
Sherlock didn`t doubt that John was just thinking of something similar. The way John`s eyes travelled over Sherlock`s body, spread out before him, was enough to send sparks of desire through Sherlock.
"Beautiful," John mouthed and then he was back to kissing Sherlock.
It wasn`t like the kisses they had shared before. There weren`t any barriers between them anymore, the covers having gone missing long ago, and Sherlock surrendered completely to the passion that started to built between them.
He tried to catalogue every touch of skin against skin as John`s body moved against his: How their bare chests touched, how John`s erection pressed against his abdomen or how Sherlock`s own erected member rubbed against John`s thigh, but it was just too much to take in. His whole body seemed to have sprung to life under John`s ministrations and his mind, which was usually able to work under the greatest pressure, wasn`t able to keep up with the onslaught of new sensations. Under other circumstances that realisation would have frightened Sherlock, but it didn`t this time. He knew that he was safe in John`s arms and so he allowed himself to just let go and feel with every fiber of his body.
Firm hands roamed over his chest and gentle lips followed in their paths as John kissed a trail from Sherlock`s right collarbone to his left nipple and sucked it in. A moan tumbled from Sherlock`s lips and he felt John smirk against him, before the motion was repeated.
By the time, John had bestowed the same attention to his right nipple, Sherlock was trembling from pleasure and want.
"John... John, please."
Brown eyes, clouded with lust, but utterly gentle at the same time found his as fingers stroked Sherlock`s hair. "What do you want, love?"
"I...," Sherlock licked his suddenly dry lips. He knew what he wanted, he just wasn`t sure if John wanted the same. After all, he had rejected Sherlock`s request last night. Sherlock was aware that these had been different circumstances, but still...
"Just tell me, Sherlock." The familiar voice whispered into his ear and Sherlock took heart in the loving tone of it.
"I... make love to me."
The expression had always sounded so sentimental to Sherlock, when he had heard it whispered between lovers, but it felt right to use it now. It was what he wanted after all, he wanted John to make love to him - not to fuck him or take him - but to make him feel loved and cherished.
Silence greeted his words and Sherlock felt a cold fist close around his heart.
Had he miscalculated again? Could John want to kiss and touch him, but was averse to sleeping with him? Did Sherlock`s body put him off, because he wasn`t interested in intercourse with a man? Or was it just too soon to ask that question?
Sherlock didn`t know if there were special rules for these situations. Did you have to wait a certain amount of time, before you asked someone to sleep with you... or didn`t you ask at all and just... did it?
Sherlock drew a shaking breath. If he had just ruined everything, then... then...
"Are you sure?"
Sherlock peeked up at John. He didn`t sound disgusted at the prospect of it. The opposite had to be the truth, if Sherlock judged from the husky tone of John`s voice, but there was something else in it. Some other emotion, Sherlock couldn`t name until he met John`s gaze and saw the worry in these expressive eyes. Worry for him, Sherlock realised in confusion.
"I just asked, because," John furrowed his brow and Sherlock noted that he was searching for the right words to express whatever was on his mind, before he continued speaking. "Have you ever done this before? I don`t want to go farther than you are comfortable with."
A smile spread on Sherlock`s face, even as he fought the blush that crept into his cheeks right on cue. "You have already gone farther than anyone before you and I don`t feel the least bit uncomfortable."
John`s eyes widened in surprise and Sherlock would have laughed at his expression, if he didn`t feel so nervous about his confession.
"So you... but you have kissed someone before, right?"
Sherlock forced himself to hold John`s gaze, although he rather felt like hiding under the covers. "For a case, but it wasn`t... it didn`t mean anything."
John only nodded, still looking a little baffled, but not making any efforts to ridicule Sherlock for his lack of experience.
"If you have never done that before, how do you know that you want to... sleep with me?" He only sounded curious and Sherlock relaxed back against the pillows, only now realising that he had tensed up at the prospect of discussing this topic with John. "Don`t be stupid, John. Of course I know that I want to sleep with you. I might have never felt that urge with someone else before, but I... I just know what I want."
To tell the truth, Sherlock had also been confused at first, when he had figured out what it was he wanted to share with John. He had never felt any need for sexual contact before and he had only recently found out that people like him were considered asexual, when he had done some research on the internet.
Obviously though, asexuality wasn`t a black and white matter, there were various classifications of it. Some people just didn`t enjoy sexual activities or felt the need for them, but they still enjoyed physical contact, like cuddling and kissing. Then there were people, which didn`t like to be touched at all in any intimate manner and were disgusted by even considering anything sexual. Some people only got aroused and felt the need for sexual closeness, when they were with someone they loved and trusted deeply.
There were some discussions on the net, if the latter was to count as asexual or if it should be labeled differently, but Sherlock hadn`t been interested in the arguments for and against it. He also hadn`t checked out any other classifications of asexuality, after he had found the one description, which applied to him.
Sherlock didn`t give a damn how people called it, as long as it meant that he wanted to be with John and that it was perfectly natural to feel that way. After all, he didn`t like to be caught off guard, not even by his own body.
"We can take it slow, you know. We don`t have to..."
Sherlock shook his head. He was touched that John was so concerned about his well-being, but he wanted to feel John inside him now and not only in a week or a month.
John still didn`t look convinced and Sherlock prepared himself for another confession.
"Look in the top drawer of my nightstand."
An eyebrow rose, but John did as he was told as he reached over to the side of the bed and rummaged through the drawer. As he drew his hand back, John held out a bottle of lube and condoms to Sherlock.
Sherlock nodded and John sat back on his heels to inspect the items. "The lube has already been opened."
It wasn`t a question and from the tone of it, John didn`t expect an answer, but Sherlock still felt like he had to say something to that. He knew that men liked to use lube to masturbate from his time at the university and that was the reason why John wasn`t surprised by finding an open bottle of lube in Sherlock`s nightstand. It was a good enough explanation, but Sherlock wanted John to know the truth.
"I wanted to know how it felt to... I had to know if I was able to give myself to you in that way and I..."
Hell, these blushes were mortifying!
Sherlock grimaced. Maybe he shouldn`t have told John what he had been up to with the lube, but...
"I wish I could have seen that. You must have looked incredible sexy." The husky tone was back in John`s voice and Sherlock forgot all about the embarrassing heat in his face as firm lips found his again.
Their kiss deepened, before John`s lips moved over his jaw and to his chest once more.
Somehow, it was unfair that John got to taste Sherlock everywhere, while he...
"No," John`s voice startled Sherlock, before he realised that he had made to sit up, only to be pushed back down by John. "I know that you probably want to poke and prod me everywhere and I promise you that you can do as you please the next time, Sherlock, but for now... let me take care of you, okay?"
What could he say to that other than yes?
Sherlock nodded and John smiled his brilliant, tender smile, before he continued on exploring Sherlock`s body. John sucked on Sherlock`s nipples again, leaving them hard and sensitive, before he moved farther down.
Sherlock was sure that he would be covered in love bites by the time John was done with him, judging from the way he nipped and sucked on Sherlock`s skin, but he didn`t mind that. He would proudly wear the evidence of John`s passion all over his body and...
Sherlock`s eyes widened and his mouth formed a perfectly shaped O as John teased the top of his erection with his tongue. A moan echoed through the room as John licked the whole length of his shaft and Sherlock barely registered that he was the source of that noise.
A wolfish grin graced John`s lips, before they closed around his erection and Sherlock was completely lost. It was pure heaven to feel John`s wet mouth around his throbbing shaft and Sherlock wriggled helplessly on the bed as John sucked him even deeper in.
"Patience," John teased around Sherlock`s hard length and the vibrations of his voice sent shivers of pure lust down Sherlock`s spine. He was completely lost, his whole being rotated around John, John and his talented mouth on the center of his lust.
A quiet pop sounded and somehow Sherlock knew what that sound meant, but his mind failed to connect it to any concrete memory of his as John continued his slow torture.
Only when a single, slippery finger started to circle his opening did Sherlock realise that the popping sound must have been the opening of the lube. He didn`t need to force himself to relax like he had done the first few times he had tried to penetrate himself. John only had to suck him a little harder and left Sherlock without any resistance as the finger breached the ring of muscle around his hole.
It felt much better than when he had done it himself and Sherlock gave in to the pleasure that waved through his body more intensively with every passing minute. He only registered that John had added a second finger when they pressed against his prostate and a jolt of pleasure raced through his body.
Sherlock would have come that minute, if it hadn`t been for the hand around the base of his shaft, which kept him at the edge of his climax.
"John... please, I..."
Sherlock propped himself up on his elbows as John slipped his erection out of his mouth and seemed to fully concentrate on stretching him. It was a wise idea, Sherlock decided as he felt himself gaining some control of his lust again. He was still highly aroused, but he didn`t feel like he was going to at the lightest touch any longer.
A third finger entered him and Sherlock felt his control slipping again as John seemed to take delight in brushing his prostate over and over again, while wriggling his fingers in Sherlock in all directions. Christ, if John kept that up, then...
Sherlock whimpered in protest as the fingers were withdrawn from him. He felt open and empty without them and he was so damn close, so damn close...
The crackle of the condom wrapping snapped Sherlock out of his thoughts as his mind finally concluded why it had been necessary for John to remove his fingers.
John held his gaze as he smeared some lube on his condom covered member, before maneuvering himself between Sherlock`s spread legs. "It`s the first time for me as well... with a man, I mean. It`s a first time for both of us."
Sherlock felt his heart melting at these words and a gentle kiss was pressed on his lips, before John positioned himself.
The tip of John`s erection pressed against Sherlock`s opening and Sherlock tensed up unintentionally. John`s hard length felt much bigger than his three fingers had and for a brief moment, Sherlock wondered if it was even possible for John to enter him completely.
Maybe, Sherlock should have stretched himself with some toys, he had found on websites, instead of practicing with only his fingers. John had admitted that he had never slept with a man before, so he might not be aware of any additional required preparations to allow two men to have intercourse. He would be disappointed in Sherlock for not researching properly and...
"Relax, Sherlock. Breathe!"
John`s soothing voice chased away Sherlock`s panic thoughts and he opened his eyes - Sherlock hadn`t been aware of closing them - to meet John`s gentle gaze.
"Just try to relax, but if you think you can`t... then tell me and we... will do something else." John`s voice was thick with lust and it was obvious that it would be hard for him to stop now, but... Sherlock believed him. It was clear that John would stop as soon as Sherlock so much as looked at him the right way and Sherlock felt himself relax at that realisation.
Kisses were pressed on his stomach and chest, indicating that John was in no hurry to continue with his former plan and the tension seeped slowly out of Sherlock`s body.
Sherlock nodded at the question and took another relaxing breath as John pressed into him again.
There was an uncomfortable stretch as John entered him, but it wasn`t unbearable. Sherlock just kept his eyes trained on John, on the way he held himself tense as he fought against the urge to push into Sherlock all at once and forced himself to go slow. If Sherlock hadn`t already been in love with John, he would have fallen for him now... hard.
Finally, John was all the way in and they both took a shuddering breath in union.
"Alright?" The word tumbled breathlessly from John`s lips and the lust was evident in his whole posture, but there was still tenderness in his voice.
Tenderness for Sherlock.
"Yes... Move, John, just move."
And he did.
Sherlock moaned as John drew back, only to push in again.
It felt perfect. Not only how the pleasure built up in his loins, every time John managed to brush against his prostate, but also the knowledge that he was joined with John.
John, who picked up the pace and kept thrusting into Sherlock, hitting his prostate with almost every move.
John, whose face and chest were glistening with sweat as he prepped himself on his forearms on each side of Sherlock`s head to move even faster. The new angle caused an even deeper penetration and Sherlock heard himself scream from the onslaught of sensations, which set his nerve endings on fire.
Sherlock wanted to come and let himself be carried away as he reached the vortex of his lust, but at the same time, he didn`t want it to end yet. He wished they could stay like that forever. John in him, looking like Sherlock was the center of his universe - the sun, right? - and them being one perfect unity. Joined together like they were meant to be that way. The thought was enough to bring Sherlock even closer to his climax.
"John... I... John..."
He couldn`t... he didn`t know what he wanted to say anymore. He wasn`t able to think, he could just feel and it was so overwhelming and he was so close and...
"Come, come for me, Sherlock!"
That did it.
With a hoarse groan, Sherlock felt the waves of pleasure crashing down on him as his cock convulsed and his hips jerked with his orgasm. He felt John picking up his pace and when the last shudder of his orgasm ran through Sherlock, he felt John still above him as well.
John half collapsed on top of him, but was thankfully still thoughtful enough to catch most of his weight with his hands, instead of crushing down on top of Sherlock.
There was only the sound of their mingled, harsh breathing for some time.
Sherlock felt the hammering of John`s heart against his own chest as John settled carefully down on top of him. In fact both their hearts were beating fast against their ribcages as endorphins and other hormones - Sherlock wasn`t able to name right now - rushed through their blood vessels and filled them with post coital bliss.
Sherlock wanted to open his eyes, to look at John and say something... really, anything at all, but he felt too drained to manage even that little effort.
He was only aware of John pulling out of him and then something warm coming around them both - the covers, his mind supplied - before Sherlock gave into his exhaustion and allowed sleep to claim him.
Sherlock blinked his eyes open at the voice next to his head.
John`s gaze lay on him and a smile turned his lips upwards as he noticed that Sherlock was awake.
"How long did I sleep?"
Sherlock felt embarrassed that he had fallen asleep at all, just after their first time together, but judging from John`s smile, he didn`t hold it against Sherlock.
"About an hour, it`s only nine o`clock."
Nine o`clock... and he had slept the whole night and some more, Sherlock couldn`t remember the last time he had done that. He usually didn`t need much sleep and if he went to bed, it didn`t happen before well past midnight.
John though... he always went much earlier to bed, if they weren`t working on a complicated case and he wasn`t fond of staying up all night. Sherlock worried his lips with his teeth.
"Hey, love, what`s wrong?" Gentle fingers ran through his curls and Sherlock leaned into the touch at the tender ministrations.
"I don`t usually sleep that long or that much, but if we were to share a bed..." Sherlock abruptly interrupted himself. They hadn`t talked about sharing a bed... they hadn`t even talked about how their relationship was going to progress from here. What if he had moved too fast now and scared John away? Peeping up from under his eyelashes, Sherlock gulped as he noticed John`s confused expression.
Maybe he had misunderstood something and John didn`t want such a kind of relationship with him? He had told Sherlock that he wanted all of him and he had been incredibly gentle with him, when he made love to Sherlock, but...
"Do you expect that I would demand of you to go to bed, every night, at a reasonable hour, when you have set your mind on solving a case or finishing an experiment? I won`t hold it against you if you only come to bed in the early morning hours or not at all."
Sherlock relaxed a little. The idea of sharing a bed with Sherlock didn`t scare John as it appeared. He hadn`t said anything against the idea and he appeared to like the idea of sharing a bed with him, still...
"Yes, I know, I mean I think I do, but... I don`t know."
"Sherlock," a tender kiss was pressed on his forehead. "I know who and how you are. I don`t expect you to change... although I wouldn`t mind less body parts in the refrigerator."
A small chuckle escaped Sherlock`s lips as he snuggled against John under the covers. They lay there in perfect silence, Sherlock putting his arm across John`s chest and John playing with his hair, before another urgent question sprung to Sherlock`s mind.
He really didn`t want to ask, as chance would have it that he would look like an idiot to John, but he had to know.
"Are we together now?"
A kiss to his forehead.
"Obviously," John teased him and Sherlock smiled against the skin of John`s shoulder, where he had bedded his head.
This was perfect.
Sherlock`s mobile phone rang on the nightstand.
He ignored it.
"Don`t you want to get it? Could be Lestrade with a case."
Sherlock shrugged against John. "He can wait. I have more important things to do."
Their eyes met and John smiled down at him. "You are right, he can definitely wait," John murmured as he leaned in for a kiss and Sherlock was content with making Lestrade wait for another couple of hours as he sank back down in the pillows.