Miss Hogwarts

The Winner


The end does not justify the means, writes Rita Skeeter, special correspondent to Witch Weekly. And the fact that the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry students are raising funds for the Hogsmeade Orphanage does not justify the fact that they held a revoltingly suggestive drag show in front of the whole school on Halloween night.

"Miss Hogwarts," as the drag show was called, featured four Hogwarts students from its different houses seducing fellow males and sporting female assets.

The contest reeked of anti-feminism and the degradation of morals among the Hogwarts students. It set a bad example for those watching, especially the first-years, who were apparently watching in disbelief.

The winner, Justin Finch-Fletchey from Hufflepuff, danced cabaret with three housemates while wearing what could have made his mother faint in shock. The author seriously could not understand why the boy was declared the winner. The judges must have played favorites among the contestants.

Roger Davies of Ravenclaw had transfigured his own body, giving himself a female figure that certainly disgusted everyone present. Harry Potter, meanwhile, did a very gross dance number with his friend Ron Weasley (see picture on the left).

Only Draco Malfoy of the Slytherin house managed to stay conservative. By doing an Arabian dance, he showed ingenuity and an appreciation of Eastern culture.

Ron did not bother to read the rest of the article. "I thought you'd shut Skeeter up for good," he grumbled at Hermione, disgustedly throwing the copy of Witch Weekly on the floor of the common room. "'Appreciation of Eastern culture', honestly!"

Hermione smiled at him smugly. "Well, that's what the Witch Weekly says," she said. She handed Ron the Daily Prophet she had been keeping among her books. "Somebody else thought otherwise. Honestly, don't you read the papers?"

"Not when I was feeling groggy all morning," Ron muttered.

"I wonder why," said Fred, grinning at Ron and Hermione, as he and George came over to read the Daily Prophet with Ron.

Miss Hogwarts raises 596 G for orphanage

"Maybe the writer of that article swings both ways and liked what he saw," said Fred.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Why don't you just keep on reading?"

The immensely successful Miss Hogwarts held last night raised 596 Galleons and four sickles for the construction of Hogsmeade Orphanage.

Organized by the prefects of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Miss Hogwarts is a beauty pageant where a male representative from each of the four Houses competed for the distinction of being called the best drag dresser in school.

"It was all pretend," said Betty Sparks, the Hufflepuff House prefect. "Rest assured that they're still the boys we've always known they are."

The money raised comes from the ticket sales. After the Prophet released an article last Monday, many outsiders came to Hogwarts to watch the event. "We raised more money than expected because of the ones who watched the contest, apart from the students," said Eric Slevin, prefect of the Slytherin house.

Justin Finch-Fletchey of the Hufflepuff house bested Draco Malfoy (Slytherin), Roger Davies (Ravenclaw) and Harry Potter (Gryffindor) to win the title, which earned his house two hundred points.

"The contest was very interesting to begin with, and I applaud the contestants for showing such guts to go drag in front of everyone of a cause," said Mr. Aaron Custodis, the founder of Hogsmeade Orphanage.

"The money raised by the Hogwarts students will be used partly to build the boys' wing of the orphanage," Mr. Custodis further said. "The rest of it will be used to buy those poor children beds, and perhaps books."

"It sounded like an absurd idea at first," Paul Arden, Ravenclaw prefect, admitted to the Prophet. "But after some planning, everyone learned to enjoy it."

"We'll never look at the four contestants the same way again," said Hermione Granger, prefect of Gryffindor House. "But if you ask them, I'm sure they'd say that it was all worthwhile in the end."

"Has Harry already read this?" asked George as he and Fred read the rest of the article.

"Oh yes," said Hermione, smiling. "And believe me, he looked really happy about it, especially when he read that part about the money going to the beds and books for the orphans. You know that silly smile he sometimes wears, Ron?"

Ron nodded. "That's really...great," he said. He looked a little awestruck.

Hermione nudged him on the side. "See? You did something good, after all."

"And face it, Ron," Fred teased. "That picture of you and Harry on the Witch Weekly is priceless."

"Harry looks about to kiss you here," said George, eyeing the Witch Weekly article.

Ron ignored the twins. "Where's Harry, anyway?" he asked.

Hermione had been aware of Harry's absence in the Common Room that evening, but when she realized that his former talent coach and overall assistant was also missing, she decided it was better to forget about her job as Gryffindor prefect for once.

She shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "Probably in the, er—bathroom, figuring out a way to get the hair on his legs to grow back."

Ron shook his head with revulsion. "Never have I thought that you girls actually think about such things."

Hermione hid a mischievous grin behind her Arithmancy book. Oh, you have no idea, she thought.

* * *

Ginny's face was partly hidden by the shadows that her hair cast around her face under the dim torchlight. Yet Harry could see that she was smiling up at him in that secretive way that never failed to make him want to look deeply into those eyes and read what was going on in her mind.

"Why did you give it to me?" Ginny asked softly.

Harry wasn't sure he understood himself enough to know why, either. "I guess I...just wanted to."

"It's not a thank-you gift, is it?"

"No—it's more than that," Harry said. Despite all the things that he wanted her to know, he simply couldn't find the words. Instead, he took a deep breath and repeated, "It's...much more than that."

Ginny cocked her head on one side. "This isn't Harriet talking, is it?"

Harry blinked. "Ginny—" he started to protest, but Ginny cut him off by taking his hand.

"I'm kidding," she said, her eyes gleaming with silent laughter. Then, in a whisper, she told him, "It has always been you."

A smile slowly spread across Harry's face. And although he had been holding his breath in anticipation, he patiently waited as Ginny shyly placed her hands on his shoulders. With a last sweet smile, she reached upwards and pressed her silky lips on his.

Harry closed his eyes just as his hands cupped her face, his lips parting to welcome hers, his fingers threading her soft hair, letting the flood of emotions already known to him wash over his whole being. This was what he had meant in his letter. No other girl—pretending or otherwise—could ever compare to the one he was touching at that very moment.

Losing Miss Hogwarts didn't matter at all, for after all the preparations, he ended up with something far, far better than that tiara or two hundred House points. He had done what he could, he had showed the school that he took commitments—even silly ones—seriously, he had done his part for the orphanage... and most importantly, he had Ginny.

Wait, who am I kidding? Harry thought, smiling against Ginny's lips and pulling her closer. I've just won.


Jenna's Notes: This fic was a lot of fun to write, and I'm a bit sad about having to end it. But I won't be able to start this fic at all without all my inspirations.

To the cool Orange Crushers in FictionAlley Park, who started this list of impossible H/G scenarios way back in our fifth thread. I added the idea of Miss Hogwarts there and thought, why not make a fic out of it?

The whole idea of Miss Hogwarts, like I had mentioned, is inspired by similar contests in my university. There are a lot of them here. But of course, I wouldn't dream of writing a Harry Potter fic about it if Dan Radcliffe hadn't dressed in drag in That Play What I Wrote. (But really, I wasn't thinking of him when I wrote the pillow scene in chapter ten, All That Hair. I swear.)

Speaking of the pillow scene, thanks again to Lexan a.k.a. Bohemian Vixen a.k.a. Queen of Slytherin for the wonderful idea, and to my two younger brothers (Who Shall Not Be Named) who blatantly explained what it's like. Imagine that.

More inspirations include Moulin Rouge, Chicago and Charlie's Angels. Those movies just rock.

And of course, to my accomplices: the ever-helpful Alli and Kate, J.A.A. a.k.a. dindranesdefender, Sirena Black, Amy and Laurel Grey. If not for them, this fic wouldn't be as great as (you say you think) it is.

Those who created fanarts for me: AgiVega (Harry in Drag, Miss Gryffindor and Miss Slytherin), Dexter (Harry in Drag), Ginny (Heaven at Midnight), Foxx (Harriet says you're going down!) and Monica Mae (Miss Hogwarts poster). You are the GREATEST.

My REVIEWERS! You're my inspiration! You brought this fic to its last chapter! Special thanks goes to Kate a.k.a. Sad Diamond, for those long reviews. :-)

And finally, to J.K. Rowling for creating a world that gives couch potatoes, like me, something to do...and for creating Harry and Ginny, the one couple I love to love. H/G rules, d00d!

I hope you enjoyed Miss Hogwarts and, er, learned something from it.;-)

Please check out my LJ (livejournal.com/~ladyofthesnitch) for FAQ answers, and my site (jenna.bekkis.com) for fanarts. Thank you!

[claps as Harriet bows down to the audience]

* * *

"Mmm...Her—Hermione? Hermione."

Hermione opened her eyes and blinked at Ron. "What?"

Ron's flushed face hovered above her. "There's...something—wait, I'll just sit up for a minute—"

With a grunt, Ron straightened up and ran a hand through his hair that was sticking up in all directions. Hermione, still lying on the couch, smiled up at him. "What?" she asked again.

Ron looked at her hesitantly. "You remember...when Harry and I were dancing?"

"Of course. In fact, I'm extremely jealous."

"No—forget the dance, Hermione," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "I wanted to ask you about the—er, that girl who yelled—you know."

"Everyone was yelling at you, Ron."

"Well, yeah—I know I'm great and all," he added, earning him a playful swat from Hermione. "But I was asking about the one who...yelled 'I love you, Ron.'"

Hermione blinked again, then looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you asking this?"

Ron shrugged.

"Well, if you must know," Hermione said, sighing, "it was Jenna Mae."

It was Ron's turn to look confused. "Who's Jenna Mae?"

"She left Hogwarts two years ago, Ron," Hermione explained. "She's a writer."

"Oh." Ron nodded in understanding. "Jenna Mae."

Hermione gave him another one of her suspicious looks. "You're not...thinking about—"

"No," Ron said vehemently. "I mean...she's a bit mad, isn't she?"

"Maybe she is," Hermione said. "But she's the one who put us on this couch, and Harry and Ginny outside—"

"She what?" Ron yelled. "Harry and Ginny—snogging? Urgh! They're outside?"

Ron started to stand up, but Hermione grabbed his collar. "Shut up," she told him. "Leave them alone."

Then she pulled him down and kissed him again.

Ha ha.