Prompt: Hermione set a teacher on fire to save Harry. In fifth year when she discovers Umbridge is torturing Harry, Hermione once again does what is necessary for the one she loves [platonic or romantic]. She kills Umbridge. Additional Request. She chews McG out for being a pisspoor head of house and doing nothing to help Harry.
I wasnt going to sleep anyway, not once I saw the back of Harry's hand. I was protective of all my friends. If you hurt little Ginny Weasley I would make you pay tenfold. But Harry? I had a particular soft spot for Harry. He was such a good guy and he had been completely twatted by life at every turn. Parents dead, childhood of abuse and neglect. Snape, who is human garbage on the best of days, decides to instigate a feud with a student. With no repercussions, mind you. The most powerful dark wizard ever to exist has a major murder fetish where one boy is concerned. The Triwizard Tournament. I could go on and on.
Then seeing yet another adult in a position of power abusing their position to specifically target Harry. I saw red figuratively. And the only thing that would purge it, was if I saw some red literally.
So I went down to Umbridge's office, cast a quick sleep spell through the door before unlocking it and preparing to enjoy myself.
I have two parents who are dentists, so I knew what to summon. Plus it was the middle of the night. No Muggle would see the tools as they flew through the night to Umbridge's window.
It would seem there was a dental school within the range of my spell because I was soon joined by burr drills and air abrasion handsets. Even something I did not originally recognize as an experimental laser ablation set.
I wouldn't be able to hook up the water cooling systems, but I honestly thought in this situation, extreme friction might be a plus.
When her tissue is vaporized by a surgical laser, why would I want to cool and clean the resulting flesh plasma away before it caused issues.
When I was ready for her I cast 'Insula Aus Skraekja'. A spell I'd found that would block any screams of hers from traveling out, but I would be able to hear any sounds from the outside coming in exactly like normal.
I could have cast the counter jinx to wake her up. But I wouldn't be able to let this go emotionally unless I got my hands dirty. So I just turned the drill on, flipping the switch with my foot, and jammed it into her cheek.
It was almost like a cutting pen. It just opened her right up. But I was expecting that, so I didn't let it get away from me, just a little tear about an inch and a half long by just under half an inch wide.
It's very possible that the noise is what actually woke her. Thats all the better with me though. Waking up tied to a chair. No previous associations with that sound. Even on virgin ears that is an upsetting fucking sound. and to wake up looking at my face when I am so filled with rage I can't stop laughing and a table full of weird muggle tools.
"Miss Granger, what do you think you are doing?" Umbridge said by way of greeting.
Madness. Seriously. If you wake up tied to a chair, you already don't have the upper hand.
"Oh, I just like you so much, Professor. I wanted to give you a nice mani-pedi and an avocado and honey facial." I held up the drill. "Oh no, Professor. That was a lie! And I must not tell lies. I better write that so I remember.
I fired up the drill with that shrieking whine. I wrote the 'I m-" with the drill on her forehead. But her inexcusable squirming really played havoc with my penmanship.
"Petrificus Totalus!" I cast then crossed out my mistaken scratchings and started over. I could have healed/erased them but more pain for Umbridge meant more fun for me. "And now to trace over them, to make sure it really made an impression. The second time over I was starting to engrave into the bone a bit. She shrieked and then began to babble and sob.
I didnt even know if she was trying to speak clearly because her jaw had been frozen by the spell. "I'm sorry Professor. I've never done this before. Does it only work if the person is innocent? Is that why I'm not feeling better?"
"Perhaps it's because I feel like a mimic. Carving bollocks in peoples flesh is already your thing. I need my own." I said, calmly but sincerely, as if we were having a heart to heart conversation.
"Offen Mentum!" I cast and her mouth dropped open. Its amazing the interesting spells you can find in books. There even was a different version Offen Mentum Aeternalis that would make it so she could never close her mouth again unless I removed it.
But for now the room was filled with her high gobbling screams as her face flexed and contorted trying to close her mouth. The screams continued with greater vigor when I held up the pliers I was about to use.
But I had tried the silencing spells down on the kill floor when the Hogwarts house elves slaughtered the spring lambs and they worked a treat. Pigs would have been better as their screams are far louder and more human. But I was confident in the utility of the spell.
Because I entered witch training the same year I first became interested in the minutia of my parents job. I had only the faintest idea of the right way to pull a tooth. Luckily, I was looking for the worst way, in this situation.
So I grabbed it with the pliers, made sure they were well seated, and then I twisted it until the tooth broke.
Naturally, since this was more about pain than legitimate dentistry I didn't necessarily have to dig out all those bone shards. But I had the little metal hook, and I might as well put it to use. Of course I did stop trying, eventually. After I had bent two or three of the devices to shapelessness. Pitting them against, the deep seated bone fragments and tough fibrous tissue of the deep gum.
But boy did she screech and wail and carry on. It really was most unladylike.
She thought it was so painful. She really had seen nothing yet.
That night I used air abrasion tools like miniature sand blasters to flay the skin off her cheeks and neck. I used those tools plus the laser ablation tool to peel the flesh of one hand down to the bone in places.
The thermoreactive function instantly heated the water molecules in her flesh and vaporised them. Creating an effect somewhere between melting her flesh off and simply disintegrating it. This was actually painless, however it was very impressive to see and any time you take tissue that used to be inside and expose it to the elements, there is going to be pain. Especially when I had the idea to take the skin off with the laser and then to stimulate the raw exposed flesh with the gritty spray of the air abrasion tool.
Certainly she passed out occasionally from the pain. But I was easily able to rouse her again. Initially it was as simple as dragging my fingers across those foul words she loved so much that I had engraved in her cranium. When that failed to elicit a reaction, Rennervate works just as good on someone who has passed out on their own as it does on someone who had been magically rendered unconscious. I had even found a way to tweak the spell if her mind decided to abandon the game early.
Rennervate Mens snapped her right back to awareness, when I saw her go limp about three hours in. Her mouth hung slack and drooling. Even the involuntary twitches as her body still tried to escape long after her mind gave up, had ceased. Her eyes rolled unfettered in their sockets, focusing on nothing.
But that one simple spell and she was right with me again. Her screams became panicked and passionate once more. It really made me smile and inspired a second wind.
I decided she had enough teeth to eat her wand, but she refused to be even a little bit helpful. So i ended up just breaking it in pieces with the bloody pliers and pushing each piece down her gaping maw with my finger.
I was a fool. I wasn't thinking that Petrificus Totalus is not a permanent spell. It requires periodic recasting or it wears off. I hadn't even done half the retribution she had so faithfully earned when it began to release. Now the spell doesn't release all at once, in an instant. In a better, fairer world, I would have had sufficient notice.
I would have seen a random movement or two and been able to recast the spell. But luck was against me this time and the bitch's first twitch threw her neck against the spinning bur of the drill and then back.
These are tungsten carbide burrs, made to powder bone with ease. So against the mere flesh of her throat and carotid artery the spinning burr not only severed it but opened it a good half inch for the blood to spurt out.
It was quite an impressive show. Her getting her movement back just as a major artery was severed.
Her clumsy fat little arms flopping up to hold the wound closed. It couldn't have worked anyway but as her fine motor control was still recovering (and blood loss could not have helped the situation) her hands were getting in the spray but they weren't actually even covering the wound, let alone blocking it.
I watched, smirking but not outright laughing, until the last light of life left her eyes. Then it was all Evanesco and Scourgify. Vanishing the body and the incriminating tools and cleaning up literally so much blood.
I stood at the window and summoned the photo album from its owners bedside. I'd spoken to Colin about leaving it out of his trunk when he'd showed it to me that afternoon. I knew when I was done with Umbridge I had another Professor to visit.
Next stop was McGonagall. I thought briefly of asking why she taught us the vanishing spell when it was clearly a charm not a transfiguration. But I was too angry right now for semantics and I did not want to distract her from the reason why I came.
I just blew her door open. I was too angry to knock.
I've got to give her credit, the old bird can move. By the time I reached her desk she was already at her bedroom door and entering the living area.
"Miss Granger. What is the meaning of this?" She shouted, already building up a head of steam.
I tossed the photo album down on the desk. "Here. It's a little piece of art Colin Creevey put together. I call it Minerva's Shame. But I don't believe the artist has titled it yet. There are three more in the series. One for each house. But this is truly the most poignant. Both because he has greater access to Gryffindors and because you are deputy headmistress and Head of a House known for bravery. And you did nothing."
I opened it. "Colin is really a talented little artist when he isn't being an annoying fanboy. What shall we look at first. The students she found kissing and cast some sort of flame or boiling spell on their lips? I'm not certain which one, possibly Mano Enfieri, but thats hardly the most important detail. Second degree burns and blisters. here are a couple with similar burns on their genitals. I assume they were caught fucking. But I hope you'll agree even evil teachers should not be even looking at, let alone cursing student's gentitals." I turned some more pages, "Or if that's too much for your old heart, we can look at pictures of students made to write lines with their own blood. Not as graphic but they will carry scars throughout their lives. Including our precious Harry Potter. There are hundreds more photos that didn't make the cut for the album, shall I summon all of them?"
She just looked at me shocked, "Harry Potter?" She said. "That pig frog of a woman scarred Harry Potter?" She collapsed into a chair weeping like her heart had broken. "What have I done?" She moaned.
"You failed your students, your House, and your school." I said. "But dont worry. This time I fixed it. Now anytime anyone asks you. I dont care if it's Fudge or Dumbledore. Anytime anyone asks you, you tell them the last time you saw Umbridge she was going alone into the Forbidden Forest, saying something about centaurs."