Hey could you write an AU where Neji is at home and meets Ten Ten when Ten Ten is going door to door as a Jehovah's witness?


Shades of Konoha: Dragon and Phoenix
No Soliciting


The doorbell rang for what felt like the 50th time that day, and Neji was absolutely done with it. He took a half of a second to glance through the peep hole (to ensure he was not about to emotionally scar some hapless and undoubtedly unsupervised child) before wrenching open the door to glare at the intruder. The woman on the doorstep smiled pleasantly, no obvious uniform or wares to peddle in sight, but Neji would not be fooled.

"Hi! Are you-"

"If you'd care to read," he cut her off imperiously, "there is a sign here," he jabbed a finger at the sticker on the sidelight, "that clearly reads: 'No peddlers or solicitors invited,' and I can assure you," he looked down at her disdainfully. "You are most definitely not invited."

"Wow," she blinked twice, "Impressive. Tell me, Neji did you rehearse that little speech, or did it come with the stick up your ass?"

Neji arched an eyebrow as he swept a calculating glare over her. "Have we met?"

"I've only just had the pleasure," she smiled sweetly, "but you left this," she flicked something up between two fingers, "in the parking lot near the running trails outside of town. I would have just popped it in the mail, but it looked like there was enough in here to make that a bad idea."

Neji stared stupidly at what was in her hand. "That's my wallet."

"Sure is," she said dryly. "You look less constipated in your photo ID, but it's a match. Here," she held it out to him. "This is my good deed for the day. Maybe the century."

Chagrined but too proud to relent, Neji reached to accept the wallet just as her head snapped to the side.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath, and instead of handing him the wallet, grabbed his hand and pushed him toward the door. "Go – gogogo!" she shoved him into the house and followed him inside.

"What in the world are you-?!"

"Shh!" she hissed, closing and locking the door, scanning the room frantically. "Windows," she pointed to the other room. "Lock them and draw the curtains!" She hurried in the other direction, making sure the windows were locked as she snapped the curtains over them.

"They're already locked," Neji crossed his arms in irritation. "As is the back door. And if you don't want to end up deposited unceremoniously in my front yard, I suggest you-"

"Quiet," she hissed, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the door. "They'll hear you!"

Neji was torn between calling the police to report himself as a hostage or calling the local asylum to see if they were short a resident.

Still, he lowered his voice and asked, "Who will hear me?"

"Them," she plucked at the curtain with a finger, barely moving it so she could peer through the sheer behind it without being noticed.

Curiosity reluctantly piqued, Neji joined her at the window and copied her movements. "Whom?"

"Look down about three houses," she breathed, her body still and poised as if to strike or flee. "Can you see them?"

"The men? In the strange black coats with clouds?"

"Cloaks, not coats, and yeah – that's them. They're part of a cult called Jashin's Witnesses and believe me you don't want them around."

He wanted to scoff at the situation, but one look at the men was enough to still his reaction. There was something manic in the smile of one of them, and menacing in the eyes of the other – neither of which were encouraging many people to open their doors.

"Hey, you there?"

Neji turned to find the woman with her phone pressed to her ear, keeping her voice soft.

"Listen, you've got to tell Nara – I've spotted those two again. Apparently the bigger one talked the crazy one into trying a more affluent neighborhood." She listened for a beat before nodding. "You can track my phone or text Lee – he has the address."

"You sent someone my address?"

"Of course, I did," she shot him an impatient look. "How was I supposed to know if you were a creep or not? No, he's not a creep," she added into the phone. "Arrogant and probably royally confused-slash-pissed right now, but not a creep. Yeah, you should be able to see my location. Um…. Sure?"

She handed him the phone with a shrug.

"It's for you."

She was so blasé about the whole thing that Neji took the phone before he even realized he had, watching as she resumed her covert post at the window.

"Hyūga."

"Neji," a familiar voice smiled at the other end of the phone. "Long time no speak!"

"Genma?" he raised his eyebrows. "What is going on?"

"I see you met my latest security agent, Tenten Nakano. Shame I didn't put two and two together when she said she found a wallet – I would have dropped it off to your Uncle with our latest bill."

"A shame indeed," he narrowed his eyes as he ducked into the kitchen and presumably out of earshot. "Is there a reason I am currently a hostage in my own home?"

"Those men in your neighborhood are dangerous and crazy. The two of them put one of the KPD's best men in a coma, so we were contacted for some extra help. If I were you, I'd stay inside and wait for this to blow over. Don't worry. Tenten will keep you safe."

"You think I am safer with her here?" Neji's eyes went wider. "She is probably as crazy as they are."

"Oh, she definitely is," Genma grinned. "She'd still be in special forces if she hadn't retaliated when sexually harassed. The offending officer resigned on medical leave, and she was honorably discharged. I guarantee she is carrying at least 2 different weapons right now, and can call at least three people who work off of everyone's books."

"You can't possibly expect me to believe any of this."

"True. She probably has three different weapons. Either way, sit tight until we give you the all clear. You should be fine as long as you don't answer the door."

With that, he hung up, leaving Neji to pinch the bridge of his nose and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Deciding there was nothing else for it, he returned to where his "guest" was still keeping watch from behind the curtains.

"Here," he handed back her phone. "Genma sends his regards."

"Thanks," she took her phone back just as it vibrated with a new message. "Genma again," she scrolled through quickly. "He says Nara has eyes on him, and to sit tight. I shouldn't have to get involved."

"Well there is a relief," he said dryly.

"You're telling me," she snorted. "My big plan today was to drop off your wallet, and then drive around Konoha to get my bearings, find the best Chinese food in town, get some takeout and binge something on Ninjaflix. But I guess," she motioned to the window, "that this is happening."

"I suppose it is," his lips twisted into something wry. "It's Rising Twin Dragons, by the way."

"What is?"

"The best place for Chinese food."

"Oh, yeah?" she perked up. "Authentic?"

"Yes. Family run and everything. You get better service if you order in Mandarin. I could call an order in for you, once we get the all clear."

"No need," her smile was easy. "I'm fluent. Do they have sesame dumplings?"

"They do, indeed," he nodded gravely.

"Huh," she considered him. "Thanks for the tip."

The insistent whistle of a kettle spared him from answering. "It appears we have some time to wait," he nodded to the windows. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Sure," she shrugged. "Why not?"

Neji hadn't thought it had been terribly long before her phone rang, and was surprised to see they'd been talking for at least an hour when Genma finally called Tenten's phone.

She answered, "Nakano," and listened for a moment before getting up and motioning for him to follow. "Mm-hm," she nodded, crossing back to the window to look out, a grin spreading across her face. She pulled back the curtain to reveal multiple police cars with lights flashing, and two very large men being put into the back of a cruiser.

"So somehow Nara got them to go to this Madam Shijimi's house, and she kept them busy this whole time?"

Neji's amusement (and perhaps even pity) must have showed on his face, since Tenten looked at him quizzically. "I take it this was a bad thing?" she asked him.

"The punishment fit the crime," he shrugged.

It was only a moment or so later before she was done with the call and tucking her phone away.

"Sorry to have taken up your time," she reached for her coat, (and he definitely noticed it was heavier than a coat should be when he reached over her to hold it while she put it on, which made him think Genma had not been kidding about weapons). "But thanks for the tea and company."

"And I am sorry for the misunderstanding. I am grateful it was you at my door, and not those two."

"Yeah," she looked him over. "Me, too. It was nice to meet you, Neji," she held out her hand to him.

"Likewise, Tenten," he shook her hand. "Enjoy the rest of your day."

"I will, thanks," she grinned. "Who knows?" her eyes sparkled. "Maybe we'll catch up for Chinese some time."

And with that, she was out of the door.

His home felt strangely empty with her gone – as if opening up the blinds and the curtains wasn't enough to replace the sunshine that had just walked out of the door.

Deciding to clean up and get on with his own day, he went back to his kitchen table to gather their tea cups.

It took him a moment to notice the thin, battered brown leather wallet, and the note underneath.

"Return this tonight and the Chinese food is on me. Say, 6:00?"

It was signed with her name and number.

"Well," he smiled to himself. "Guess that spares me the trouble of asking Genma."

He messaged her back 'Will see you at 6:00 and bring the wallet. Seeing as it is empty, Dinner is on me.'

'Its empty because I'm not dumb enough to leave my money somewhere I'm not eating dinner. See you at Six. You can arm wrestle me for the bill.'

Neji actually laughed out loud, realizing with something akin to astonishment that his next words were nothing but the unvarnished truth.

'I look forward to it.'