Hahahahaha, LOL what? I have no idea! I blame the plot bunny for this! And my tiredness, I tend to go a little hyper when I'm tired... can you tell? Umm, yeah... But seriously I actually have no idea... Hopefully it's funny...
Warnings: Ummm... probable OOC, crack, poor attempt at humour?
Conspiracy Theorist Tsuna
A small brunette shrieked as he saw the small suit-clad baby at the foot of the stairs. He was wearing a fedora and his eyes were pools of obsidian. The baby raised a brow at the reaction. Sure, he could be pretty intimidating even in this form, but he wasn't even trying. Most people just saw an innocent baby at first glance.
"Mum! Why did you let a Mafia hitman in the house?!" The brunette screeched at his mother who was currently standing next to the baby. Ah, that explained the original reaction. Wait, no, it really didn't.
"Eeeeh? This little baby?" She sounded shocked, but backed away nonetheless. The baby smirked.
"Ciaossu. I'm Reborn, your new home tutor." The women relaxed into confusion at the statement, completely taken by his appearance. The boy, not so much.
"See! There's no way a baby can talk and walk like a normal person! He's probably a man who's been cursed into infant form!" The brunette shrieked again. Now, Reborn had been warned about the brunette teens conspiracy theories. What he hadn't been warned about was their accuracy. And his mother's tendency to believe them, she was currently backing away again. He sighed.
"I'm not here to hurt you (much *smirks*). I'm here to train you, just like the flyer said." Reborn tried to assure the terrified family.
"I told you that flyer was a cover for some weird undercover training job!" The brunette screeched again, his mother had the decency to look guilty at her blunder.
"I'm here to train you to become the next boss of the Vongola." Reborn started, but before he could continue the brunette was already speaking again.
"Vongola? That sounds like some big-shot Mafia family! Why me, did all the heirs die or something? One probably tried to stage a coup from being adopted, as well... Like hell I'll become some evil, big-shot Mafia Boss!" By the end of the brunettes rant, Reborn was hard-pressed not to gape at the boy. Did he actually know how accurate he was? Did he have access to inside information? Did Iemitsu leave files around the house? He clenched his teeth, mind wandering to how much he could get away with doing to the CEDEF head without getting into trouble with Nono. He glanced over at the boy, who was currently in the middle of another rant.
"... so I can't have gotten it from Mum's side. Which means I had to have gotten it from Dad, probably some ancestor who moved to Japan and changed his name after passing on his title. Does Dad know? Probably, he's gotta be a part of it too, otherwise he would have been chosen for the next head... some outside advisor maybe? Yeah, that sounds right..." Reborn was delving into torture fantasies again, somehow managing to keep a straight face in front of this scarily accurate conspiracy theorist.
"Stop." Was all Reborn could muster at the moment, stopping the boy's current rant about the three powers, which sounded suspiciously like the Trinisette. Reborn had to suppress a shudder as the paranoid boy's eyes landed on him. He could practically hear all the theories running rampant in the boy's brain, and it was moderately terrifying given how accurate they were. It was like the boy was looking into his soul. Nobody looked into his soul.
"Sawada Tsunayoshi. Vongola has no other heirs, your father can't take over, which leaves you. You will become the Tenth Boss and 'no' is not an option. Would it help if I told you they were originally a vigilante group, and the Ninth and current Boss wants to bring Vongola back to its roots?" Was released in a very large breath. The brunette seemed to ponder this for a moment, before muttering again.
"Probably turned Mafia after my ancestor left to Japan..." Reborn was trying not to shoot the boy, he really was.
"Does this mean I'm gonna have to make friends with people? I don't think that's gonna work. I'm known as Dame-Tsuna for a reason, you know..." The boy looked a little distressed now, but compliant with idea at least. Reborn resisted the urge to smirk. It wouldn't be good scaring the boy now that he finally had his attention. Not that he wouldn't scare him later...
"Don't worry about that. You'll have plenty of 'friends' before you know it." The boy eyed him suspiciously once more, but seemed much calmer than he had earlier. Reborn smirked, this was going to be interesting. Although, keeping a straight face in front of this boy was proving to be hard.
"So, when do you teach me how to use cool flame powers?" Reborn's eye twitched.
AN: Hahaha, Tsuna as a conspiracy theorist would make so many people cry... Anyway, if this was weird and terrible blame my teacher at Uni for frying my brain. As I said, I tend to go a little hyper when tired. *Gasps* Can you imagine Tsuna on a sugar high?