R. Peter: Thanks so much for commenting and reading! :)
KingLoitl: Oh, a new reader! Welcome! Glad you like my story!
Estel: Oh, me too! I HATE going to Walmart! It's so freaking crowded! I'll try! :P
Badkidoh: Thank you :)
To the Guest: You won't see this anyway, but um... thanks for your 'opinion' on my favorite pairing. I'll continue to like Severus even if you don't :P
SeriouslySiriusPadfoot: LOL! Hexing Ron, that's so mean! But he IS a jerk sometimes. :P So is Draco though... heh
Lily had been seeing Sirius just about every day now, studying him to get an idea on how she could handle him. Unfortunately, he had acted no differently from the first time she had visited. Something needed to change.
"Wait," Lily stopped the armed Remus from going into Sirius' room. "I want to go in alone this time."
Remus shook his head. "Absolutely not! You've seen how he is! It's much too dangerous!"
Lily scoffed. "I can handle it! How many battles did I fight in the war again?"
"Lily," Remus started firmly. "This is different. And your current mind didn't experience the war, so you're not even allowed to use that as a comparison."
Lily huffed in irritation at his truth, out smarting Remus was always a difficult task. She had often wondered why he hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw.
"Be that as it may, Sirius never seems angry with me, Remus. He's always snarling at you or the Healers. I don't know why that is. Perhaps it's because it is not I that keeps him locked up here. You told me that you think I can help him, how can I do that when all he has are distractions?"
Remus narrowed his eyebrows, now in his own annoyance, but Lily could tell that he agreed with her. "I hate it when you do that," he muttered, surrendering his argument. "I'll be right outside this door. If you make a single sound that makes me believe that you're in any sort of trouble-"
"I know, I know," Lily smiled in triumphant. "I'll be fine," she assured him, equipping herself with her wand.
"And wipe that smirk off your face!" He grumbled, making her laugh.
Lily quickly went back to seriousness, and cautiously cracked opened the door. "Sirius?" She called out gently. The door was immediately yanked from her grasp and she let out a startle shriek as Sirius let out a growl and lunged toward her. Remus quickly cast a spell on him, knocking him backward. Sirius went stiff and fell onto the floor.
"Remus!" Lily scolded and helped him get Sirius into the chair that stood in the room. "Why did you do that?!"
"He was going to attack you," Remus answered calmly, eyeing Sirius over. "I told you that it was too dangerous."
"He was trying to get out, not hurt me!" She pressed her lips together in frustration. "That's all he ever wants! Don't you understand?!"
"Well, he doesn't seem to care who he harms in the process, does he?" Remus kept his calm, even though Lily could tell that she had upset him.
She sighed. "Just... leave, please," she requested. "I can handle him on my own. I promise."
Remus grunted and muttered something under his breath. Gripping his wand tightly, he did as she asked, shutting the door behind him, no doubt hovering on the other side of it to eavesdrop.
Lily removed the spell that Remus had cast on Sirius. He remained seated in the chair, staring at her in awe, just as he had done any other time she had come for a visit.
"How are you feeling, Sirius?" She asked, forcing herself to be a bit cheerful.
Sirius drove his gaze from her, looking around the room in desperation. "I want to see Prongs," he whispered. "Where's Prongs?"
Lily frowned. How many times had Remus explained it all to him? How many more times would it take for him to understand? Did he just simply refuse to believe it?
"Sirius, " Lily went to explain it to him but instantly clamped her mouth shut when Sirius' eyes teared up, as if he knew the truth of James' status, having had seen Lily and not yet him.
She had not had a decent relationship with James Potter nor Sirius Black. Not one that she could actually remember at least. But she wasn't heartless, she didn't think it was right that James was dead and that Sirius was declared mad. They obviously weren't the only ones though. Frank and Alice were also patients of St. Mungo's, and had been for quite a while according to Remus. Many had died. Many were insane. Children had been orphaned. Children had been murdered . Lots of people had been effected by the war. Lily herself had even been one of the victims, and she did not think that it was fair that she could come here to this timeline, unscathed and practically have no memories of what had gone on in the war.
But this was what James had wanted for her.
"Lily," Sirius croaked, pulling Lily from her angst thoughts. "Is Prongs..." he trailed off, unable to finish his question, afraid of the answer.
Lily swallowed down a forming lump in her throat. Her eyes welled up. She didn't much like Sirius Black, but he looked awfully upset, and she felt bad about that. He had lost his best friend. A man that he had considered his brother. Lily did not know what she would do if she had lost someone so special.
Well, maybe she did know; She'd probably be in the room right next to Sirius.
"Y-es," Lily squeaked out the answer.
His jaw tightened, and he looked down at his hands. "So what I saw- it was real?"
"It was, Sirius," she answered him hoarsely.
He looked her over. "Are you a ghost then? Why aren't you transparent?"
"No," she mumbled. "I-"
"I saw you!" he insisted. "I saw you! I saw James! You were-" he choked then, cutting himself off. "Voldmort killed you...!" He said before bursting into sobs.
The water finally escaped Lily's eyes and the tears streaked down her face. She sniffed and inched her way to Sirius, feeling the need to comfort him. She set her hand onto Sirius' arm.
"I don't understand..." Sirius shook his head in confusion. "How are you still alive...?"
Lily transfigured a cup into a chair and sat next to him. "It's a long story..." She explained to him that she had taken a potion that sent her into the future. She didn't go into too many details, not yet sure what he was capable of handling.
"Where's Harry?" Sirius asked eagerly, his eyes lighting up.
"No," she answered slowly. "Why would he be with Hargid...?"
Sirius' face fell. "That night, I met Hagrid at your trashed up house. I told him that I had to find Peter, but I wouldn't leave Harry alone. He said he would protect Harry like he was his own."
"So, if Hagrid's not with him, who is?"
"My husband..." she told him, avoiding any specifics for the time being.
Sirius gasped with wide eyes. "You remarried?!"
Lily groaned. "In a manner of speaking..." This whole time travel thing was becoming too much for her.
As days passed, Sirius mellowed out. Lily was told that while she was gone, he pestered the Healers about when she would be coming back. And soon he was pestering her, asking her questions about one certain little boy...
* / *
Lily silently took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa across from Severus. He sipped his tea and looked at her blankly, prompting her to begin. She wasn't sure how she could. She knew that what she was about to start wasn't going to be a grand topic. It was bad enough that Remus was against the idea.
Maybe she hadn't thought this all through...
But he wanted this, and he likely needed it.
And James would have wanted her to do this. Or she thought anyway. Actually, she wasn't sure either way...
She stood up. "You know what, never mind."
Severus raised an eyebrow in question. "What is it, Lily?" He pressed softly.
"I'm just..." she paused, hugging her arms around herself, shrugging. "I don't know what I should do."
Severus raised his arm, gesturing her to him. "Come here and talk to me."
She bit lip in troublesome and nestled herself into his lap, resting her head against his chest. He gently wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips to the top of her head. Lily sighed, finding some comfort in his rhythmic breathing.
"Better?" Severus murmured.
"Just a bit," she admitted.
"Are you going to explain to me why you are acting the way you are?"
"You're not going to like what I have to say," she warned him in a whisper. "And I don't want us to fight because of it..."
"What are you planning to do now?" His question was a wary one, but Lily also heard a little bit of curiosity in his tone.
She gripped a handful of his shirt, as if bracing herself for what she was about to say. "Don't get mad," Lily pleaded.
"Merlin, Lily, would you just spit it out?" He sighed impatiently.
Lily pulled away to look at him. "You have to promise you won't get mad."
Severus rolled his eyes. "I am not going to make a promise that I may have no ability to keep, Lily, but I'll try my best not to."
"Sirius wants to see Harry," she informed quickly. She tucked her lips in between her teeth, regretting what she had just said.
And with reason. Severus' hold on her had gotten tighter. His lips curled into a sour look. It was as if she had just told him that he had to have both of his feet removed.
"Well?" She asked moments later when he had said nothing.
"I'm trying to not be angry," he said through grit teeth. He inhaled deeply. "Why?" He slowly snarled.
"Why does Black want to see him?"
"He is Harry's Godfather, for one," Lily supplied.
"He's-" Severus cursed. "Well, of course ; why the bloody hell not?! Potter would not have had it any other way!"
"Severus," Lily gently spoke, "Please understand where he's coming from-"
"Lily, to be frank, I don't give a fuck-"
"Severus!" She scolded.
"I apologize if that upsets you, Lily, but that's just how I feel, and he wouldn't be any different toward me, you can't deny it!"
Lily looked away. "No," she agreed. "Probably not." She hadn't told Sirius who her husband was yet. He would have to be informed soon, she was starting to think that he thought her and Remus had tied the knot.
"He's a dangerous man, I don't want him near Harry."
"He's misunderstood," she pointedly corrected, narrowing her eyes at him. "YOU have quite a bit of experience in that, don't you, Severus?"
Severus snorted. "Are you lecturing me while comparing me to Black at the same time?"
"Forget it!" Lily huffed, pushing herself up from him. "It was a dumb idea anyway!"
"Lily, don't go," Severus snatched her hand before she could get out of his reach. She stood still, purposely not looking at him, waiting for him to speak.
"What did the Healers say to this?"
She lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "Well, they say Sirius has been a little better. Especially, when I am there with him. He's almost... normal while I'm there. They said if I'm there, he would likely be safe around Harry, since he's so calm in my presence."
"And you agree?"
Lily nodded. "You should hear him talk about Harry, Severus. There's no doubt why he is Harry's Godfather. He really cares about him. And, well, I believe part of his issue is the loss of his best friend- brother more like."
"And the fact that it was someone all of you had trusted who had sentenced you to your deaths," Severus said reasonably.
"Yes, but Sirius has spoken so little about Peter these last few days. I think that his focus on Harry is a very good thing."
"Then I want to be there when you take Harry to see him."
"No," Lily shook her head. "He's just now getting used to Remus there without attempting an escape; you know that your presence is not going to help at all!"
Severus scowled. "If he does anything to harm that boy-"
"He won't," Lily promised, settling back into his lap, hugging him. "I'll make sure of it."