Well my lovely readers, I have noticed that I have a plethora of songs on my ipod and the need to stray from my usual mentally distressed Kensi, though there are some sadder songs on here that I will get to write about. And I will say this, I have a real hard time writing Deeks, I do not know why but I find that Kensi is far easier. With that said I do not own NCIS LA or the songs listed before every chapter.
I suggest listening to this song before reading or while reading, Amy Lee's voice is beautiful and something about this song just reminded me of these two.
The team learns of Kensi's singing voice and her engagement to Deeks.
It was a slow day at the office of special projects, Nell and Eric were up in their perch while the rest of us were slowly dying of boredom and pretending to do homework. Finally I had reached my limit and threw my pen down. "Okay who is up for a game of basketball?" I ask looking over at Kensi she is tiredly rubbing her eyes, Deeks' head is resting on his after action report and Callen…well he was reduced to staring blankly at the wall. They all eagerly nodded their heads and stood up.
Walking into the gym we see a piano, how the thing got in there we will never know, we have all accepted that Hetty has her ways. We walk up to the piano and see Hetty sitting on the bench turning to face us. "Uh Hetty, what is this doing here?" Callen asks.
"This, Mr. Callen was brought in to help another team prepare for an op," Hetty moves to look at Kensi, who I notice is staring very intently at the object, but quickly realizes she is being watched and her face moves back to her impassive stare. "It will be removed tomorrow morning," she says still staring at Kensi before she walks off to do god knows what.
Callen shrugs and goes to grab a basketball, "First to 21 wins, usual partners." And just like that we move to the other end of the gym and start the game. Somewhere in the back of my mind I registrar that Kensi glances that the piano frequently and Deeks at Kensi…
I grab my bag and stand up, thankful that it is the end of the day, "So who is up for beers? My treat." I say looking at Kensi and Deeks, knowing that Callen could not pass up free beer.
Kensi looks to me, then to the gym doors then to Deeks, "Uh nah, not tonight Sam, I think I am going to go see my mom." A believable lie…kind of.
"Nah man, a slow day makes me tired, just going to head home and go to sleep." I nod and walk out with Callen next to me. We get to the car when I stop.
"What is going on big guy?" I look from my car back to the Mission doors.
"I just have a suspicion…about that piano…come on G." we toss our bags in the back seat and head back into the Mission quietly catching the beginnings of a conversation between the younger partners… "Come on Kens, I know you want to…"
I watch Sam and Callen walk out and I feel Deeks eyes on me as soon as the doors close. "No Deeks…" he doesn't speak for several minutes but he never was able to be quiet for a long period of time.
"Come on Kens, I know you want to, and Hetty knows." He is staring at me.
"No Deeks not here, Nell and Eric are still here…"
"Doing some secret op for the other team…"
"Please Kensi," he whispers walking up to me stopping a hairs breath away. "I want to hear you sing again, you never sing."
I look down at the ground, a blush coloring my cheeks and neck, still unused to hm wanting to hear me sing. It was never something I bragged about, or let anyone know. Deeks was the only one who knew besides my mother, and that is because she is the one who help me learn the piano when I was younger and dad was away on missions. I always played him something when he came home, but when he died I stopped playing all together.
But when I got back from Afghanistan it became a coping mechanism that Deeks learned about. Ever since he has done everything to take me to my mother's so I could play, partly because he knows that I still have nightmares, not so much since being all in, and partly because he says he loves to watch me play.
Looking at him now I see the reverence in his eyes and I just cannot bring myself to deny him this. "Fine," I say as I grab his hand and walk with him to the gym…
I walk with Eric down the stairs ready to call it a day when we see Kensi grab Deeks' hand and lead him to the gym. We join Sam and Callen in sneaking behind them and kneeling by the gym to listen. I look at Callen and Sam and they are watching the young couple blatantly display their 'secret' relationship… as I go to whisper to them I hear the timid stroke of the piano's keys…
"Go on Kensi…please?" I see Kensi sit and brush her fingers over the keys.
"Think of it as your engagement gift to me." My eyes go wide as do the others as we see Kensi smile and take the necklace off from around her neck and put an engagement on her ring finger smiling at Deeks the whole time.
Third Person P.O.V
The melody is soft and a little sad, but the words are loving and a tad sorrowful. The team then hears her sing, her voice never wavering and beautiful
The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I can't sleep
I need to tell you
She sings remembering the image of him on one knee and the elation she felt, no fear, o anxiety just…love…
Nell watches as she looks away from the keys, her eyes looking up to Deeks who is leaning against the piano watching her as though she was a rare gift from heaven.
When we're together, I feel perfect
When I'm pulled away from you, I fall apart
All you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue
I can't look away
As we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me
The team hears such emotion in the young female agents voice as she remembers how they were torn apart after Sidorov, after Afghanistan. She is singing from the heart as she stares into those beautiful blue eyes as she remembers his proposal, spur of the moment…soft, private and filled with eternal love…
Promise you'll stay with me"
Oh you don't have to ask me
You know you're all that I live for
You know I'd die just to hold you
Stay with you
Somehow I'll show you
That you are my night sky
I've always been right behind you
Now I'll always be right beside you
A long pause filled the room, just the sound of the piano playing, she became aware that the team were now walking towards her as she played the soft melody but her eyes never strayed from her fiancés, his never from her.
Deeks was enraptured by her voice, singing the song he only heard her sing once, saying that it was for him and only him. He begged her one night to sing it at their wedding saying that it could only make that day all that much more special.
The team was near enraptured too, all the nights she skipped out on Karaoke now made sense. The uplifting words then became soft and timid, and yet filled with complete love, her engagement ring shining in the soft light of the gym.
So many nights I cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me, I love myself
I never thought I would say this
I never thought there'd be
A perfect song ended with a perfect kiss from the man who loved her, every part of her. Before going all in, even before meeting him, Kensi had nights where she cried herself to sleep, secretly wishing…hoping to feel loved, to belong. A long time ago she had resigned herself to never having a man in love and so those nights ceased. Then he came along and threw her so far off her axis that it scared the hell out of her, so she hid…until it became physically painful to deny her heart, the clenching of the life giving muscle hurt every night that she watched him walk away to head to his place…
But now, it did not hurt, no it felt light, free…she was home…